The price of a pint
“There are only three certainties in life”, I said last night in Ron’s.
“What are they then?”, said Dirty Dave.
“Ohh, I know. I know”, said Stinking Pete.
“Go on then. Let’s hear yours”, I said.
“One, clove rock sweets will always taste like licking the top of a battery. Two, dogs always circle three times before they lie down to go asleep. Three, no matter where you go you’ll always come across some self-important, self-aggrandising cunt who makes you want to kick holes in walls”.
“They’re good but they’re not right”.
“I’ll have a go then”, said Dirty Dave.
“One, at least once in your life you’ll get an all chocolate Kit-Kat. Two, bluebottles are fat, buzzy cunts. Three, no matter how shit something is there’s always someone who will like it”.
“Not bad. But not what I had in mind”.
“Well, tell us yours then”.
“Easy, you’re born, you die, and the price of a pint will always go up”.
“Oooh, yeah. I read that Diageo are putting 10c onto the price of a pint, the scabby fuckers”.
“And they will continue to do so with impunity for as long as we’re alive. Then you have the Vintner’s complaining that people don’t go to pubs as much any more when it’s their fault in the first place. Speaking of which, pint please, Ron. The high prices are artificial because they stifle proper competition with their powerful political lobby. That cunt McDowell might have been a cunt but at least he tried to get the café licence thing going only to be told from ‘on high’ that he was to drop it like a hot snot. I wonder does Bertie ever pay for a pint in this country? Probably not. If he did he’d know how fucking expensive it was. And it creeps ever upwards, how long will it be before the €10 pint. You might laugh but that day is coming. Just you wait and see. The price of booze in this town would drive a man to sobriety. We’ll all sit in bars with bottles of homemade wine that tastes like tramp’s piss mixed with the stagnant blood and cum of septic donkey because just won’t be able to afford to drink in pubs. It’s a ghastly thought but we have to face the reality-’
‘Pint of Guinness, Twenty’, said Ron.
‘Cheers’.
‘That’ll be €2.40′.
‘Jaysus, Ron, that’s 20c more expensive than the last pint’.
‘Suck it up, you moaning bitch’.
July 25th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Twenty, why did Ron call you a bitch – I’m having doubts about you and your lady boy friends over there
3 things are certain
1. Ireland will never with the eurovision again
2. I will always cum before the missus
3. I will always fall asleep before the missus
July 25th, 2008 at 8:59 am
hehe it’s quite funny that they have to advertise going to the pub to the Irish.
Diageo are cunts.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:16 am
the economic downturn is largely to do with the fact that I dont go to the pub any more. The price of drink is disgrace. No wonder kids take pills. Its fucking cheaper.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:18 am
I hear they’re only €3 on the street.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:22 am
€2.40 for a pint? Where exactly is this Rons you speak of?
July 25th, 2008 at 9:26 am
how much is a pack of twenty in Ron’s ?
July 25th, 2008 at 9:26 am
I remember me first pint in a pub, in a little shithole in Blessington. 35p it was.
I could get pissed on a pound back then.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Ron doesn’t sell smokes. Often.
Ron’s is around, Pants Man.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:29 am
the vintners association, diageo and the goverment are driving our kids to drugs. Theres your headline right there
July 25th, 2008 at 9:30 am
It’s a good point though, isn’t it?
€3 for a yoke or €5+ for a pint in town.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Like that old Irish expression – Jaysus, the cost of living has just gone up another 10c a pint.
Personally I think that the sooner Bush starts drilling for beer in Alaskan wildlife parks, the better.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Lung, if he strikes a Bud Lite well he can fucking poke it up his hole
July 25th, 2008 at 10:02 am
meanwhile you can get a 6 pack of harp for 7.50 They ve driven me to Harp.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:09 am
You can get 12 cans of carlsberg for about €14.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:11 am
normal cans or those gay 44cl ones?
July 25th, 2008 at 10:11 am
24 Bottles of stella for €24 in Eurospar. The government are driving people to drinking in the home. This combined with cheap Stella is not a good cocktail as far as wifey is concerned.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Tuborg is cheap too, and can be drank without grimacing.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:18 am
normal cans I think. but now that you question me I’m not so sure….
July 25th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Amstel is 10 quid for eight cans 500ml and it is decent lager, (tescos)
July 25th, 2008 at 10:28 am
But for that I can get three pills and and a packet of chewing gum to stop my jaw rattling…
July 25th, 2008 at 10:29 am
My husband used to work in the off trade. Now e doesn’t anymore, we drink far less as buying drink is too alarming.
We had it good for a decade or more though.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:52 am
I can recall drinking the pint @ 17p.
Can you still get six packs of quality Henninger .5L cans for about €6.50?
July 25th, 2008 at 11:01 am
I used to work in James’s Gate. They hired a consultant to figure out why people weren’t going to pubs so much. I said ‘too expensive’ several times but was ignored.
A few months and much money later the consultant came to the conclusion that it was too expensive.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Still, it was a sweet place to work with free drink all the time.
Some sound people too.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:10 am
24 bottles of stella for Euro 19:99 in SuperQuinns
July 25th, 2008 at 11:18 am
0.27 EUR per 33cl can of Caprabo brand ostrich piss. Oh shit! I just remembered I don’t live in Ireland. Heh.
As you were.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:18 am
tonight I’m gonna party like its Euro 19:99
July 25th, 2008 at 11:49 am
€3 a pill? You’re getting ripped off!
July 25th, 2008 at 11:49 am
twenty cunt you can sack my cock ,because
you are a loser.you will meet me very soon.
for now all my friends from australia,states
holland ,france,will send you nice posts.
your stallion salutes you,cheap cunt and
i will treat you like tsausescu ,do you know
this wanker?bye pussy
July 25th, 2008 at 11:50 am
not to go back to the recession shopping post of yore, but beers in lidl are in fact good and cheap, as opposed to cheap and manageable ish. think they even have a draught cooling pressure tap jobby you can hook kegs up to. problem solved. they even sell guinness from time to time at reduced prices
July 25th, 2008 at 11:51 am
also, i’m now really intriqued as to how one’s cock would be sacked.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:52 am
intrigued, even.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Two, bluebottles are fat, buzzy cunts.
Tell that fucker DD I’m passing the word to my cousins. He’s going to be plagued.
First Pint I bought was in Edinburgh – Light was 9p, heavy 10p and special 11p.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:56 am
You dont have any friends in any country and you dont know who this Ceausescu character. I would say twenty is shitting in his boots ya fat cock sucker.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Jesus, does the mentaller ward get their Internet access at the same day or what? There,There youe delusional,rambling mentaller (see my use of precise medical terminology) go onthe web and spread your mentalism across the world. Take your fucking medication you cunt.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
PP – what was your first legally bought pint ?
July 25th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Is it wrong that I read this post at 20 past midday and I’m already thinking “ooh a pint sounds great”…
July 25th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I have to admit I find it intriguing too. I just hope it’s not a one trick wonder thing and there’s a lasting factor. Can this rambling abuse maintain it’s entertainment. One can only hope.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Pint of Special (70 shilling)
July 25th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
I cannot rember how much my first legal pint was, can still rember that 20 Regal (no king size then except for Bennies for bennies and JPS lung bleeders) was £1.00
July 25th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
It WILL reach the point where it’ll be more economically viable to get pissed on Listerine than beer.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
One of the joys of the iPhone is the ability to thwart that bald devil Cunt even when on the road
July 25th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
does anyone remember those john plater special duty free black cylindrical tubes of cigarettes? they were scary.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
sorry John Player Special
July 25th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Going to Kyles in Coolock village with a tenner, pints of Guinness and Tayto pub crisps, 20 major on the table.
Ahhhh Jaysus
July 25th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Pint of Special (70 shilling)
Marvellous stuff – I did have a brief flirtation with Breaker Malt Liquor – see link – but soon saw sense.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
test
July 25th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Leeroy, a lad in school used to get them cheap somehow. We were the height of minted with 50 fags in a tub. Black, with the gold JPS.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Fucking hell, Twenty has a nemesis to thwart, lucky bastard.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Grover, exactly – 50 smokes in one place – after 3 of them emphysema could be felt creeping up on you.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I have a Display stand and packet of “Death” Cigarettes.
July 25th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
“dogs always circle three times before they lie down to go asleep”
But not on the equator. They just sit down. In the Northern hemisphere they go clockwise and anti-clockwise in the Southern hemisphere.
At the poles they’re lucky if they get to sit down at all with all their instinctive, mad spinning.
July 25th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
im paying almost a tenner for a pint of kilkenny in singapore …
and the fucking thing is …I think they wash it with some strange detergent coz after a couple of pints I seem to go to bed and have weird dreams….
anyways ..Someone feed my monkey while I dig in search of China…goodluck to yee now
July 25th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Hah, PCB, funny.
I like the idea of Twenty on the move, thwarting is nemesis at traffic ligtsm or on the bus. I do wish he had a more interesting nemesis though. Jesus.
July 25th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
When I first started going out at 16, vodka tonics were only $2 and you could get a beer for $1.
July 25th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Jesus I had to reread that Medbh I thought at first 16 VATs were ” dollars, which would have made you about 150 years old
July 25th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Your fascination with tramps piss has not gone un-noticed, Twenty.
July 25th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
“One of the joys of the iPhone is the ability to thwart that bald devil Cunt even when on the road”
They are kind of entertaining though.
FCS is probably an old woman in darkest Leitrim.
July 25th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
PP, I feel 150 some days.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
SG how much is a pint of Guinness in Kyles? be there on Thursday evening. Can’t wait
July 26th, 2008 at 11:10 am
The real price of a Guinness in Kylies is having to listen to braying of southsiders from along the 46A belt.
July 28th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
I loved those JP special packs! In happier times, you could buy a pack of 30 Major for a few drachmas. (Sorry, Twenty, twas in Greece, pre-EU). Three of us smoked the packet between us on the beach, chatting, then couldn’t stand up – the soles of our feet were sunburnt. We had to swim back. But ouzo’s great for sunburn!
Hang on, are you all saying that the price of pints should be taxband-related? You bring your tax cert into a pub & they charge you according to what you can afford? Even Buswell’s is not going to go along with that, I think.