Ban election posters
Posted on | July 23, 2008 | 45 Comments
So Minister for having a Cushy Job, John Gormless, is thinking about a crackdown on election posters.
Here’s an idea, ban them altogether. Having a bunch of hideous, ugly cunts staring at you for weeks is no fun for anyone. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it probably puts people off voting.
As well as that it might get politicians going door to door to let their consituents know who they are, what they stand for and to answer questions that people might have. As it stands they get a load of posters made up, lash them to posts and trees, and that’s about as much contact as the vast majority of people have with the person they’re supposed to choose to represent them.
So forget the environment, despite them being a waste of paper and ink and a blot on landscape when they’re up, ban them because it will make politicians work harder.
The slack cunts.
Similar posts
Comments
45 Responses to “Ban election posters”
Leave a Reply
July 23rd, 2008 @ 2:56 pm
They should be allowed to put them up but face them INTO the trees and lamposts. The whole country covered in white rectangles of card sounds quite pleasant (not to say surreal).
July 23rd, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
I especially don’t want that bullshitting cunt Ganley or any of his spahead cohorts staring down at me.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:08 pm
…Alternatively, you could put a picture of the back of the politicians head on the flip side of the poster and get your bored kids to try and guess who the poster is of whilst stuck in your SUV on the M50 (bonus points for naming the party too)…
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:09 pm
Tie the politicians up to the trees and lamposts along with their family members who lets face it will occupy their cabinet seats once they kick the bucket.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:12 pm
All good suggestions
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
Minister for having a Cushy Job is actually Martin Cullen… and he’s probably dreaming up e-posters – a flat-screen TV on every lampost (solar-powered of course) – in time for the local elections.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:20 pm
we could tie the politicians themselves up on the lamposts, and then take them down if they are suitable for office, otherwise leave them up there to die of thirst.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
El Diablo’s idea is real class, but surely we would run out of the fuckers before we reached Rathmines? And what the hell size of lampost would take Mary Harney? (bastard! there I go again.)
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:25 pm
Ah but I have a solution to the politician shortage.
Those people who are applying for asylum would be given jobs as lampost and tree support engineers in the event of a politician shortage
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
Here’s what should be done…
Standard format issue booklet to each home with 1 page for each candidate laying out their lies, I mean policies.
They’ll still be lying bastards but at least the streets won’t be destroyed by the fuckers.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
Also, election promises should be legally binding and punishable by fines and/or prison sentences
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
Wow SG! These are actually GOOD ideas. I am agog.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
NO! NO! NO!,I like to evaluate the ones that are defaced for originality, sheer nastiness and wittiness.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
i wouldnt want an honest politician – wouldn’t knwo whether to trust ‘em or not
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:50 pm
May I also suggest that we designate certain areas of woodland that have had their trees felled to have wannabe stars such as Ronan Keating and Damien Rice put head first into the ground and planted like a young sapling
July 23rd, 2008 @ 4:12 pm
What about having the silhouette of the candidate on the poster along with an anagram of their name and the party they represent?
For instance:
Brian Cowen – Cabin Owner, A Born Wince, Ban Nice Row
Fianna Fail – Anal Fan If I, A Anal If In, A Finial Fan
Enda Kenny – Any End Ken, Naked Neny, Yank End En
Fine Gael – A Fine Leg, A Feeling, Align Fee
Hours of endless, guessing fun plus a serious blip in the road safety stats
July 23rd, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
There should just be a benign dictatorship instead. I’d go with that as long as he didn’t fuck around doing things like banning blue shirts on a Monday or ordering us to eat only cous cous on Sundays.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 4:30 pm
Also ban really bad government information booklets about how to pretend to protect yourself against a nuclear incident.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 4:31 pm
If anyone ordered me to eat cous cous there would be trouble, there’s no need for cous cous
July 23rd, 2008 @ 4:38 pm
In all fairness Dick Roche came sliming round my door to tell me to vote Yes, my missus kept him there for ten minutes before he twigged we didn’t have a vote. I must say he is one greasy fucker, I wanted to ask what “Developer’s bitch” meant on his election posters but the missus wouldn’t let me.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
Dick Roche is one greaseball alright. I’ll bet they all watch the Sopranos and laugh their holes off because it’s about them.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:17 pm
dick = cock… roche could be spelled roach, hmmm? I’ll have to think about this overnight. Adieu!
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:22 pm
Builder (thick Louth accent): Dick, I want to build a huge feckin mall and some crap apartments made ouha shite cement but the planners won’t leh me.
Dick (rubbing his sweaty paws): Sure gimme 5 grand in cash and I’ll sort it out.
Builder (to himself) heh, thick greedy cunt could a goh 50 grand off me.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:25 pm
Oh and Bray pier development…. planners were bribed to pass it.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:34 pm
What’s tis about Bray pier development??
Do you mean new Bray, that nothing has happened about yet, or actually on the pier?
When I was younger, a little old lady friend of ours was nearly ripped off by Dick Roche when he was going to buy her field – cliche or what?
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:44 pm
The new Bray development at the waterfront yeah. A planner took a bribe of an apartment in exchange for his vote in favour of it. I’m sure he’s not the only on. Folks, we’re all being conned every fucking day. Politics here is about making money and making connections, it’s not about serving the people and making our country the best it can be for everyone.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:45 pm
Twenty if you get any fianna fail fuckers asking for my e-mail address let me know!!
July 23rd, 2008 @ 6:24 pm
Election posters are deadly. Just look at them and imagine that all the politicians are stoned.
You’ll laugh your way to and from work.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 6:43 pm
Holemaster, you don’t live in Bray by any chance, do you?
July 23rd, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
Posters make good targets for pistol practice. Legalize handguns: Why should the criminal element be the only armed people in Ireland!
July 23rd, 2008 @ 7:53 pm
Because if we all had guns, a whole lot more of us would get shot. If they’ve gota gun, and you have, then they have to shoot you.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 8:40 pm
Open season on politicians during election campaigns – that would cool their ardor for disturbing people.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 8:53 pm
maggot, what’s your connection to politics.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
what’s your connection to politics
I want to feast on politicians’ decomposing bodies.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 11:23 pm
No Jo I don’t live in Bray. I just know someone very very close to the legal aspect of that whole development and I know that what I heard is true.
I have an real problem with people who gain through unfair advantage. The best man for the job is what I believe in because that way everyone gets the best deal in the end.
Cheats are the worst kind of people. They distort the playing field, they usurp the ground rules and if they are not dealt with, it encourages the weak to do the same. They undermine their own society and in my mind they are treasonous and downright criminal.
Don’t get me started….
July 24th, 2008 @ 12:40 am
true quote from Northern council meeting (about some contested hideous ‘holiday apartments’ being built by greedy bastard): councillor storms out snarling ‘I am not going to sit here and listen to my employer being slagged off’
Sad thing was no-one asked why he was allowed to have any part in the process in the first place
July 24th, 2008 @ 12:43 am
forgot- Maggot you will have to stop reading those serial killer books, it’s getting worrying
July 24th, 2008 @ 1:55 am
It is indeed time to move on from just reading those books!
July 24th, 2008 @ 2:12 am
That’s an ambiguous ‘just’, there, maggot.
July 24th, 2008 @ 2:14 am
Heh Jo – indeed it is !
July 24th, 2008 @ 8:41 am
commenting past 2am on a wednesday night . . . why?
I think you guys have a problem.
*takes a slug from a nagon under the desk*
July 24th, 2008 @ 8:46 am
What the fuck is a nagon?
July 24th, 2008 @ 8:48 am
A dragon’s mother-in-law?
July 24th, 2008 @ 9:03 am
a small hipflask sized bottle.
I’m sure we’ve argued over this before. . .
July 24th, 2008 @ 10:28 am
Headline in today’s paper….
“Two held over €1m cannabis seizure”
Does this mean they were lifted up and dangled over the drugs?
It reminds me of my all time favourites….
“A man is helping Gardai with their inquiries”
and
“Two men were quizzed overnight in relation to an armed robbery” ….e.g. How many bullets can an AK47 hold… bzzzzz… 36!