Words
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on July 22nd, 2008
So many words, so little time.
It’s easy. Just get the words, put them in sequence so they all make sense. Look at how many you’ve got to choose from.
Goat. Slurp. Ribald. Pernicious. Gazump. Flittering. Crank. Wobble.
So many more as well. How can you be struggling? There’s no need for it. Try the Bowie cut-up method. Just cut up some words, throw them in the air and lash them in as they come down.
Large boulder on in a barf-coloured to nun’s throbbing lawnmower.
Ok, scrap that one.
Here’s the thing. Just make it up as you go along.
Thank God, new topic.
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Oh shit more word play
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
1
Sobriety minstrels go pickering at a flute
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
2
Lauded all the dally toys but expected trauma earthquake-style
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
3
I had been waiting six months for my house to be ready when my builder decided to gazump me. The little ribald fucker that he is. He’s such a tight bastard he’d steal food off a goat. Well it serves me right for flittering about instead of buying the first house I saw, before there was any sign of a wobble in the market. Fuck it, I’m going to crank it up now and get a lawyer after him and spread pernicious rumours about the bollox. Soon, he’ll have to slurp the best the soup kitchen has to offer.
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
4
One has to be careful of this stream of consciousness stuff.
For example…
Orca highlife with orange I like it up the bum trampoline queen
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
5
Oh I thought I had to… oh never mind.
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
6
Eggs…?
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
7
stream of unconsciousness more like. job monkey coma snooze futile abort
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
8
Security!
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
9
Mayonnaise and ketchup of tomatoes is the answer.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
10
Ja-blooish meh-tump-nudge.
That’s how Hitler Youth once got it’s kicks.
On the point of utterly bizare Bowie lyrics, did you ever hear the live version of ‘when you’re dead’? (presumably close to the recorded version, obviously)
..the HELL is he on about??
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:13 pm
11
Writing a book with words is so sold. Write it with numbers! It’ll be an avant-garde sensation. The folks at the phone book started down that road but never had the guts to fully realize the concept. Seize those guts now, Twenty! Carpe Intestinum!
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
12
Poor Twenty. Stop all together for a while. Get off the internet and go somewhere nice.
Then I say, Plan First. So you have something to follow.
And John McGahern says you have to write for two hours every day, whether you use it or not, whether it’s shite or not. 2% inspiration etc etc.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
13
old. But sold works too I guess.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
14
I raped Peter Mandelson’s goat, the duck looked on.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:22 pm
15
USB stick socks chewing-gum and cigarette papers.
And that’s just in the top drawer!
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
16
Sam - 14 4765 54 46 097 978 674 54 3.14 5 124 777756 57565 556u6 1654 985 165 98461 984 31654 654 987987 97987 654 32165132 00 10 044 014714
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:27 pm
17
Holemaster, you fucker, I’ve just read your last comment on the last thread. I’ve warned you about that before!
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
18
ya dont wanna know whats in my top drawer..SERIOUSLY
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
19
On the point of utterly bizare Bowie lyrics, did you ever hear the live version of ‘when you’re dead’? (presumably close to the recorded version, obviously)
Do you mean ‘We are the dead?’
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
20
I love the way you do that Twenty. I try to imagine your little fingers as they dance across the number row….
987987 97987
It’s like music
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:31 pm
21
Do you mean ‘We are the dead?’
I thought he meant ‘When you’re young’
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:34 pm
22
Sorry, ‘When you’re a boy’. What’s the name of that one?
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:35 pm
23
I could do, don’t blame me anyway, blame Generic McBland-Tone of Captain Amnesia FM’s Sunday snooze show.
I’m pretty sure it was ‘when you’re dead’, apparently he used to close a lot of his shows with it. Take that, scrabble-addicted acid freaks!
Gonna go see Wall.E tonight, anyone seen it? I saw a downloaded version of Kung Fu panda last night, the sound was pants. You really have to wait more than a week for a decent download I guess.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:36 pm
24
..—–.—…—-..-.—–.-..–…..——….—
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
25
‘We are the dead’ is from Diamond Dogs.
There’s a song called ‘Boy’s keep swinging’ on Lodger.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
26
Anyone got any hot women in their office they fancy describing?
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
27
Never heard of ‘When you’re dead’.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:38 pm
28
Wall-E is not the worst of the recent CGI animated efforts. It has it’s moments, but it’s so ET. Even the shape of the little fucker.
Better than Kung-Fu Panda anyway.
Bring a kid.
(Oh, you are a kid!)
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:39 pm
29
Morse code translator, seconds of fun!
http://morsecode.scphillips.com/jtranslator.html
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
30
Space Chimps is awful, nothing more annoying than films/television shows about monkeys.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:44 pm
31
Sorry Jo I couldn’t help myself.
It’s like kicking the back of someone’s knee.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
32
MMN, I have one here next to me, and she’s a stunner. Dressed from head to toe in a pale pink leotard. You can see her nipples sticking out, it’s so tight.
She doesn’t mind me staring at her, but continues to give me that ‘come and get me’ look with her beautiful big blue eyes.
I know she wants me.
Oh wait, that’s a poster of Princess Peach!
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:46 pm
33
My sides.
Seriously though, no-one gonna give us 50 words on the office hottie?
How about something on how girls dressed for the office actually look BETTER than when they get dressed to go out?
Anything about boobs will pretty much do it. Speaking of which, there is a fantastic shot of the eternally topless Sienna Miller on wwtdd.com. She’s cavorting round Italy with some married bloke and he’s got his mitts on her melons. She looks fucking super…
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:46 pm
34
Here’s a handy review. I want to go see it.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
35
Sigh, every time.
http://www.darrenbyrne.com/wordpress/?p=239
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
36
Pixar are brilliant. Did they do The Incredibles? Loved that one.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:51 pm
37
Has anyone seen the dvd of sorts Pixar have out? There’s one on it, One Man Band that’s just gorgeous.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
38
Shorts, not sorts.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
39
I think the DVD you’re talking about is a collection of Pixar shorts, y’know, the ones that come as Extras on the DVD editions. There’s a few new ones in there that never appeared on any previous DVD too.
I saw it on sale in Tesco’s the other day. Would’ve bought it too, only I downloaded it about six months ago.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
40
And that ‘One Man Band, and the one with the old guy playing chess are my daughter’s two favourite films.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:03 pm
41
The Pixar short about all the birds on the electricity line is great! Possibly the best thing they made.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:08 pm
42
more random shite, but made me laugh
http://dive.scubadiving.com/members/photogalleries.php?s=1094
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:08 pm
43
Speaking of ‘random’ stuff (vaguely)
How come the local off license keeps running out of the special offer 8 for €8 Dutch Gold, eh?
And then they try to sell you a 6-pack, also €8.
It’s making it very difficult for me to do me weekly budget.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:22 pm
44
I just can’t drink Dutch gold. I’ve never been more aware of exactly where my liver was than the morning after the only night I ever drank a substantial amount of the stuff. Mainly because it was twice its size, throbbing, and spent the day banging on the walls of my insides screaming and begging to leave it alone.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
45
My head hurts.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
46
Folks who study the Beatniks say that William S. Burroughs started the cut up method with his manuscript for “Naked Lunch.”
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:52 pm
47
@17 - I laughed uproarously as the witty 4s all the way up til that 00 where you subtly changed the mood to one of overwhelming despair at the futility of everything. I can’t even be bothered brushing my teeth now. It’s a masterpiece, Twenty.
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:16 pm
48
wat
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:37 pm
49
Butthole Surfers in Vicar Street on Thursday
*scratch
Nina Nastasia in Crawdaddy on Saturday
*scratch, scratch
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:49 pm
50
Just watched “Child’s Play” - class film.
Go Chucky, Go! If there was a midget in that little ginger cunt he deserved an Oscar!
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:00 am
51
straf wibble
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:53 am
52
Twenty, I think you should stay as far away from http://www.rice.com as you can! The UN warps a writer’s brain, you know. You’re safer with the pints.
Looking forward to the next book. As long as it doesn’t have “Eat your greens” in the title. Oh, wait … yes, OK.
So long as they’re soylent ; )
July 24th, 2008 at 5:48 am
53
Jesus, I’m thick this morning, it’s too early. I meant to say http://www.freerice.com
The Surgeon General recommends that words are best avoided at 6 am until you’ve had another coffee.
July 24th, 2008 at 5:55 am
54