Sinking feeling
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on July 16th, 2008
It must be absolutely crap to be a chicken and realise one day that you are amongst the tastiest animals on the planet.
I bet badgers look at chickens and laugh their tough, untasty holes off.
Think that’s bad…….imagine being a piggy…….so many uses….badgers just have a bad pr department, they need max clifford or someone as equally as toady….
July 16th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Chicken arses are not as rough as a badger’s arse.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
1
We do eat badgers Twenty! The fast food industry just wont admit it. Battery badger farms everywhere in secret underground…er…holes. Gobshite Ronald Macdonald. Its the fucking Lamprey nuggets that sicken my arse!
July 16th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
2
Tastes change, I reckon badgers arse is quite a nice cut. In fact with all these genitically engineered chickens, I will be going back to squirrel, badger, hedgehog and rook.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
3
Badger (Broc Pie) is delicious but they’re riddled with TB.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
4
On a semi-related note, I see Aldi are selling a brand of “Australian” “Wine” called “Badger’s Creek”, as in “Strewth, mate - that smells like a badger’s creek left out in the sun too long!”
July 16th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
5
A chuckling badger. Not half as annoying as a snickering mole.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
6
The great thing about badgers is they can easily be used for sexual innuendo, whilst having dinner one could comment “Nice badger” whilst looking towards the hosts wife and winking.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
7
You know that Sheridans liquer? The black and white stuff?
Made out of liquidized badgers.
Truth.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
8
Out of curiosity Twenty, what the fuck put this into your head today ??
July 16th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
9
Yer man Fleming from the Fast Show keeps popping into my head.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
10
I was eating some chicken, Alan
July 16th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
11
I was always under the impression that animal ass holes are used to make hot dogs and cheap sausage!
July 16th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
12
More to the point how to you know that badgers have untasty holes? Manuel is right it is all PR..
“Go to work on a badger” as an advertising slogan?
July 16th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
13
Careful the chickens could rise up against us. The tasty fuckers.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
14
See that Colonel Sanders? First against the fucking wall! Up the badgers!
July 16th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
15
When I fell off the vegetarian wagon years back it was to tuck into some fried chicken. Brought a tear to my eye it was so good.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
16
imagine a huge bastard of a chicken, running through O’Connell St pecking scumbags heads off. I will bow down to our feathered overlords…….
July 16th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
17
My GF didn’t eat red meat until I seduced her with a burger after a few pints.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
18
‘No animals were harmed during the typing of this blog entry’
July 16th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
19
I used to get called ‘The Badger’, until the darker bits around the grey streak up the middle of my head turned the same colour as the streak itself.
I miss it.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
20
“My GF didn’t eat red meat until I seduced her with a burger after a few pints.”
should have offered her some sausage instead
July 16th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
21
“I was always under the impression that animal ass holes are used to make hot dogs and cheap sausage!”
Is not a hole by its very nature nothing? I was going to say “How do you eat a hole…?” but modesty forbids.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
22
should have offered her some sausage instead
that was for dessert. HIGH FIVE!
July 16th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
23
“… amongst the tastiest animals on the planet.”
What’s with this pimping for Kentucky Fucked Macnuggets? Have they greased your palm with chicken shit? Promised you a year’s supply of basted badgers’ ballocks? (Delicious with a pint at Ron’s).
Shame on your lost integrity.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
24
25 comments and no-one’s sais it yet….
July 16th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
25
According to a Daily Telegraph journalist, badger casserole smells of damp dog hair and tastes like a cross between lamb and corned beef.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
26
“said” it yet..
July 16th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
27
Hee, but badgers have it shit. Look at the atrocities that were committed against them with small vicious dogs in the past. And now, mass culling.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
28
Chickens are the descendents of T-Rex, Velocraptors and the like.
When they awaken to their true heritage we are doomed I tell you.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
29
Yeah, but we’re descended from King Kong, so we could totally take them.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
30
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqSvA8CrfjI
July 16th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
31
What’s with the squeaky voices, copyright thing?
Anyone notice the “my bad” in the comments?
Anyone watch it in fact?
July 16th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
32
I hear dogs barking in the distance heading this way…. gotta go, yet again.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
33
A badger is a fucking lovely yoke to eat!
Shit, no, that’s beaver.
July 16th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
34
And pity the poor rabbit. The most preyed upon creature in the wide outdoors. Everything eats rabbits, owls, hawks, coyotes, dogs, bobcats, snakes, peckish raccoons, the French, us. Danger with sharp teeth is everywhere for the hapless rabbit. Which of us has ever truly got over Watership Down?
July 16th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
35
I didn’t read that for years, because I was too scared of the sadness!
Squeaky voices? I didn’t actually watch it, Hm. Why must people fuck with stuff before they put it on Youtube?
July 16th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
36
Well done, XBox!
It took till comment 34.
July 16th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
37
Never mind Watership Down, PCB. Gary Larson has a great cartoon where a bunch of animals are standing around saying things like “I was in the forest, gathering nuts”, and “I was in the farmyard, being milked”, and the tagline is “fact of nature - all animals can remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard that Bambi’s mother had been shot.”
July 16th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
38
Bleh. Disney emotional manipulation - foisting adults’ worst fears on children. Meh!
Dumbo’s almost worse.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
39
Dumbo is worse - the Pink Elephants scene still scares the crap out of me, & is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in a kids’ movie.
And the moral of the story - if you’ve big ears you can fly - must have meant Gary Lineker’s parents couldn’t leave him near an open window for a second while he was growing up.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
40
Anyway, surely the most tasty animal on the planet is whatever one it is who’s leg is found slowly rotating in kebab shops.
Wouldn’t fancy being a Big Kebab Hunter, though - if that’s the size of its leg you’d need a bazooka to bring it down.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
41
It might belong to a weighty lady?
July 16th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
42
I’ve read your blog description and I just wanted to say that it may not always be easy to see good in the world.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
43
I was brought to Watership Down when i came out in the cinema ,i was 3.. I’m still in therapy over it..
The general scared the shit out of me.
I have never eaten rabbit since.
July 16th, 2008 at 11:16 pm
44
Now if only someone would write a sequel with badgers, you’d be sorted, eh?
July 16th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
45
Look Badgers are cunts. Angry cunts.
July 16th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
46
Only if you fuck with them. I saw a program about a lady who left food out for her local badgers and foxes, and they all came and gambolled about together and ate out of her hand. It was the sweetest!
July 16th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
47
I have never seen Watership down, and I have never eaten rabbit..
July 17th, 2008 at 12:58 am
48
IF EVERYTHING TASTES LIKE CHICKEN - WHY NOT JUST EAT FECKIN’ CHICKEN????
July 17th, 2008 at 4:54 am
49
‘Careful the chickens could rise up against us. The tasty fuckers.’
They have. It’s called bird flu.
July 17th, 2008 at 5:10 am
50
Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Could never take rabbits seriously again as an object of fear.
July 17th, 2008 at 6:45 am
51
You’d be an angry cunt too if you were baited all the time by small angry dogs Twenty.
Come to think of it.
Is there any thing you want to share?
July 17th, 2008 at 6:48 am
52
Any they are pussies compared to wolverines who are generally angry all the time.
There was a story in 2003 that the Coalition forces in Iraq had released man eating badgers to counter insurgents.
July 17th, 2008 at 7:03 am
53
Comment Nº. 1: Think that’s bad…….imagine being a piggy…….so many uses….
I agree with Manuel here. Piggies are semi intelligent and usually know when they’re going to the slaughter. Chickens are so thick they don’t even know when they’re dead.
Piggies also taste better. I could live without chicken, but crispy bacon? Dangerous business being a piggy, or even looking like one. Why do you think Cowan had to get out of Offaly?
July 17th, 2008 at 7:13 am
54
Lung.Piggy so many uses.?
Deliverance/banjo music is coming to mind.
July 17th, 2008 at 7:25 am
55
What the feck does it matter if the organism is angry, docile, bitter or twisted? If we can wrestle it to the ground we invariably eat it. (Had to type ‘feck’ my mothers hoovering the room).
July 17th, 2008 at 8:14 am
56
Scary images of you home on the internet in your mammy’s, hooronahonda… ‘Oh, he loves that computer yolk, I don’t know what he does on it all day’. He can’t go out because of hte hayfever, as it is I have to pick tissues up from all over the floor.’
Your poor mammy.
July 17th, 2008 at 8:54 am
57
You’re right Jo, the old dribbly appendage does pose a problem at this time of year.
July 17th, 2008 at 11:30 am
58
Too far H, too far.
July 17th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
59