Sinking feeling

It must be absolutely crap to be a chicken and realise one day that you are amongst the tastiest animals on the planet.

I bet badgers look at chickens and laugh their tough, untasty holes off.

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60 Responses to Sinking feeling

  1. manuel says:

    Think that’s bad…….imagine being a piggy…….so many uses….badgers just have a bad pr department, they need max clifford or someone as equally as toady….

  2. Holemaster says:

    Chicken arses are not as rough as a badger’s arse.

  3. Hooronahonda says:

    We do eat badgers Twenty! The fast food industry just wont admit it. Battery badger farms everywhere in secret underground…er…holes. Gobshite Ronald Macdonald. Its the fucking Lamprey nuggets that sicken my arse!

  4. Puerile Pish says:

    Tastes change, I reckon badgers arse is quite a nice cut. In fact with all these genitically engineered chickens, I will be going back to squirrel, badger, hedgehog and rook.

  5. Conan Drumm says:

    Badger (Broc Pie) is delicious but they’re riddled with TB.

  6. Dave says:

    On a semi-related note, I see Aldi are selling a brand of “Australian” “Wine” called “Badger’s Creek”, as in “Strewth, mate – that smells like a badger’s creek left out in the sun too long!”

  7. Walls says:

    A chuckling badger. Not half as annoying as a snickering mole.

  8. Puerile Pish says:

    The great thing about badgers is they can easily be used for sexual innuendo, whilst having dinner one could comment “Nice badger” whilst looking towards the hosts wife and winking.

  9. You know that Sheridans liquer? The black and white stuff?

    Made out of liquidized badgers.

    Truth.

  10. Alan Smithee says:

    Out of curiosity Twenty, what the fuck put this into your head today ??

  11. Holemaster says:

    Yer man Fleming from the Fast Show keeps popping into my head.

  12. Twenty Major says:

    I was eating some chicken, Alan

  13. Loco Lobo says:

    I was always under the impression that animal ass holes are used to make hot dogs and cheap sausage!

  14. Puerile Pish says:

    More to the point how to you know that badgers have untasty holes? Manuel is right it is all PR..

    “Go to work on a badger” as an advertising slogan?

  15. RedLeeroy says:

    Careful the chickens could rise up against us. The tasty fuckers.

  16. Hooronahonda says:

    See that Colonel Sanders? First against the fucking wall! Up the badgers!

  17. Medbh says:

    When I fell off the vegetarian wagon years back it was to tuck into some fried chicken. Brought a tear to my eye it was so good.

  18. RedLeeroy says:

    imagine a huge bastard of a chicken, running through O’Connell St pecking scumbags heads off. I will bow down to our feathered overlords…….

  19. My GF didn’t eat red meat until I seduced her with a burger after a few pints.

  20. Hooronahonda says:

    ‘No animals were harmed during the typing of this blog entry’

  21. Monkey Balls says:

    I used to get called ‘The Badger’, until the darker bits around the grey streak up the middle of my head turned the same colour as the streak itself.
    I miss it.

  22. porridge says:

    “My GF didn’t eat red meat until I seduced her with a burger after a few pints.”

    should have offered her some sausage instead

  23. Hooronahonda says:

    “I was always under the impression that animal ass holes are used to make hot dogs and cheap sausage!”

    Is not a hole by its very nature nothing? I was going to say “How do you eat a hole…?” but modesty forbids.

  24. should have offered her some sausage instead

    that was for dessert. HIGH FIVE!

  25. Dobharcu says:

    “… amongst the tastiest animals on the planet.”
    What’s with this pimping for Kentucky Fucked Macnuggets? Have they greased your palm with chicken shit? Promised you a year’s supply of basted badgers’ ballocks? (Delicious with a pint at Ron’s).
    Shame on your lost integrity.

  26. Tinman18 says:

    25 comments and no-one’s sais it yet….

  27. According to a Daily Telegraph journalist, badger casserole smells of damp dog hair and tastes like a cross between lamb and corned beef.

  28. Tinman18 says:

    “said” it yet..

  29. Jo says:

    Hee, but badgers have it shit. Look at the atrocities that were committed against them with small vicious dogs in the past. And now, mass culling.

  30. noddy says:

    Chickens are the descendents of T-Rex, Velocraptors and the like.
    When they awaken to their true heritage we are doomed I tell you.

  31. Tinman18 says:

    Yeah, but we’re descended from King Kong, so we could totally take them.

  32. Holemaster says:

    What’s with the squeaky voices, copyright thing?

    Anyone notice the “my bad” in the comments?
    Anyone watch it in fact?

  33. Holemaster says:

    I hear dogs barking in the distance heading this way…. gotta go, yet again.

  34. A badger is a fucking lovely yoke to eat!

    Shit, no, that’s beaver.

  35. And pity the poor rabbit. The most preyed upon creature in the wide outdoors. Everything eats rabbits, owls, hawks, coyotes, dogs, bobcats, snakes, peckish raccoons, the French, us. Danger with sharp teeth is everywhere for the hapless rabbit. Which of us has ever truly got over Watership Down?

  36. Jo says:

    I didn’t read that for years, because I was too scared of the sadness!

    Squeaky voices? I didn’t actually watch it, Hm. Why must people fuck with stuff before they put it on Youtube?

  37. Tinman18 says:

    Well done, XBox!

    It took till comment 34.

  38. Tinman18 says:

    Never mind Watership Down, PCB. Gary Larson has a great cartoon where a bunch of animals are standing around saying things like “I was in the forest, gathering nuts”, and “I was in the farmyard, being milked”, and the tagline is “fact of nature – all animals can remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard that Bambi’s mother had been shot.”

  39. Jo says:

    Bleh. Disney emotional manipulation – foisting adults’ worst fears on children. Meh!

    Dumbo’s almost worse.

  40. Tinman18 says:

    Dumbo is worse – the Pink Elephants scene still scares the crap out of me, & is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in a kids’ movie.

    And the moral of the story – if you’ve big ears you can fly – must have meant Gary Lineker’s parents couldn’t leave him near an open window for a second while he was growing up.

  41. Tinman18 says:

    Anyway, surely the most tasty animal on the planet is whatever one it is who’s leg is found slowly rotating in kebab shops.

    Wouldn’t fancy being a Big Kebab Hunter, though – if that’s the size of its leg you’d need a bazooka to bring it down.

  42. Jo says:

    It might belong to a weighty lady?

  43. I’ve read your blog description and I just wanted to say that it may not always be easy to see good in the world.

  44. Fill3rup says:

    I was brought to Watership Down when i came out in the cinema ,i was 3.. I’m still in therapy over it..
    The general scared the shit out of me.
    I have never eaten rabbit since.

  45. Jo says:

    Now if only someone would write a sequel with badgers, you’d be sorted, eh?

  46. Twenty Major says:

    Look Badgers are cunts. Angry cunts.

  47. Jo says:

    Only if you fuck with them. I saw a program about a lady who left food out for her local badgers and foxes, and they all came and gambolled about together and ate out of her hand. It was the sweetest!

  48. SAm Crea says:

    I have never seen Watership down, and I have never eaten rabbit..

  49. GLUAISTEAN says:

    IF EVERYTHING TASTES LIKE CHICKEN – WHY NOT JUST EAT FECKIN’ CHICKEN????

  50. laughykate says:

    ‘Careful the chickens could rise up against us. The tasty fuckers.’

    They have. It’s called bird flu.

  51. noddy says:

    Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
    Could never take rabbits seriously again as an object of fear.

  52. noddy says:

    You’d be an angry cunt too if you were baited all the time by small angry dogs Twenty.
    Come to think of it.
    Is there any thing you want to share?

  53. Puerile Pish says:

    Any they are pussies compared to wolverines who are generally angry all the time.

    There was a story in 2003 that the Coalition forces in Iraq had released man eating badgers to counter insurgents.

  54. Comment Nº. 1: Think that’s bad…….imagine being a piggy…….so many uses….

    I agree with Manuel here. Piggies are semi intelligent and usually know when they’re going to the slaughter. Chickens are so thick they don’t even know when they’re dead.

    Piggies also taste better. I could live without chicken, but crispy bacon? Dangerous business being a piggy, or even looking like one. Why do you think Cowan had to get out of Offaly?

  55. noddy says:

    Lung.Piggy so many uses.?

    Deliverance/banjo music is coming to mind.

  56. Hooronahonda says:

    What the feck does it matter if the organism is angry, docile, bitter or twisted? If we can wrestle it to the ground we invariably eat it. (Had to type ‘feck’ my mothers hoovering the room).

  57. Jo says:

    Scary images of you home on the internet in your mammy’s, hooronahonda… ‘Oh, he loves that computer yolk, I don’t know what he does on it all day’. He can’t go out because of hte hayfever, as it is I have to pick tissues up from all over the floor.’

    Your poor mammy.

  58. Hooronahonda says:

    You’re right Jo, the old dribbly appendage does pose a problem at this time of year.

  59. Holemaster says:

    Too far H, too far.

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