Paudge Behan – linguistic genius
Posted on | July 15, 2008 | 63 Comments
Oh, this is fucking awesome. Found via Jazzbiscuit check out Irish ‘actor’ Paudge Behan, arrested in connection with an eldery woman in Italy, trying to speak Italian.
It’s quite possibly the funniest fucking thing of all time.
Update: Here’s the MP3 of his wonderful Italian. Come on you remixing bastards, get cracking.
Paudge Behan speaks ‘Italian’ – direct download
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63 Responses to “Paudge Behan – linguistic genius”
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July 15th, 2008 @ 1:33 pm
magnifico and mucho guiltezzi
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:34 pm
Bad week for Irish Artists then
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:36 pm
‘Actor’, you say, as if it were a euphemism for something else.
His Dublitalian is hilarious. As a son of a former head of the IRA I’m surprised he didn’t complain about Italian securocrats.
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:37 pm
I’m sure there’s another word for actor, all right. Cun’t quite think of it at the moment though.
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:38 pm
His Italiano is mucho crappo, it does remind me of let’s parler franglais, probably one of the funniest things ever.
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:40 pm
Oh – and Happyo Birthdayo to Johnny5!
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
Ah, how to speak Italian in one easy lesson, first, take one English workd, add ‘o’ to the end , and VOILA! you too are fluento in Italiano.
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:44 pm
Si, Si, that is correcto, although you snucko a wordio of Francais dans la paragraphio
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:45 pm
It’s brilliant, I rolled around at that one last night. I think he’s a taking the a piss a no? Great publicity all the same, give it a month, he’ll be in an ad somewhere for pizza delivery.
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:46 pm
Oh Fucko, C’est much more difficile than Ich dachte
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:46 pm
It kinda does work though, the italian thing, adding an ‘o’
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
Always amuses me that cunts who choose to live abroad want home standards when it comes to the law. In Ireland innocent until proven Guilty ? You ain’t in Ireland!
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:52 pm
A bus stops and an Italian man gets on. He sits down, fetches out his mobile and starts a very animated conversation.
“Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.”
An old lady behind the man is furious at hearing such filth.
“You foul-mouthed wop! ” snaps the lady. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”
“Heya you old bitch!” says the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spell Mississippi…”
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:54 pm
ah hah haaa
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
Besta jokio for ages Dessiegee
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:56 pm
it’s like allo allo but better…….looks like an el cunto …….
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:59 pm
Since when did Eddie Munster start reading the news? http://www.mallardsbaseball.com/home/images/news/butch_patrick5.jpg
July 15th, 2008 @ 1:59 pm
I’d say he’s right dog, ridin’ the local young wans. His old mad was Chief of Staff of the IRA!
July 15th, 2008 @ 2:25 pm
I’m bored today, can’t concentrate, have four threads open at the same time while also reading several news sites and playing music quite loud and texting a friend. All this while pushing a turtle. (ok last bit’s not true…….yet)
July 15th, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
What a douche.
Hate his sunglasses.
July 15th, 2008 @ 2:31 pm
Why’s his name fucking Behan if his Dad is Goulding? Cunt is trading off the legacy of a drunken child man.
July 15th, 2008 @ 2:41 pm
Paudge Behan, Linguistic genius or a cunning linguist?
Either way he’s a gee licker!
July 15th, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
Twenty, brilliant but I’m concerned about who he has supposed to have murdered. What’s an “eldery” woman in this day and age, an auld broad who just drinks wine made from berries? Maybe she stank and that drove Paudge over the edge?
July 15th, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
Please digg this story, this shit needs to go viral!
http://digg.com/movies/Irish_actor_shames_nation_speaking_pidgin_Italian_on_TV_news
July 15th, 2008 @ 2:59 pm
I was in tuscany, cant remember exactly when, but I reckon I was home before the old girl got stabbed. Its a nice place except for the dodgy pint of plain, it gives you the shits.
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:02 pm
i wish he had explained how he got his leg wounds on the saturday. well i was stabbing an old italian retired business woman and…… un momento, me innoccento until proven… ……fuck.
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:07 pm
Apparently he was unpackingo some crateos than came from the stateso.
Many of us get leg wounds unpacking crates.
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:09 pm
He sounds a bit gayo. Any info ?
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:11 pm
maybe he just done that so he can get away with murder on the grounds of mental instability?
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
scorchio
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctaszjeaDK0
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
I was in a cafe in Florence and I asked the old girl for a ‘mucho grande cafe au lait’ and she told me to fuck off, at least I think thats what she said.
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:22 pm
Ha! What a plonker!
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
‘mucho grande cafe au lait’
That means “milky coffee… you’re very big”
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:27 pm
I’m going to do a drive by blogging where I post in the three 20 threads within the same minute… starting NOW
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:28 pm
Did it!
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:28 pm
Pretty sure that’s only 2
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:31 pm
I messed up. Posted here then in the next one down and thought I managed one in the Zorro post (didn’t load) before coming back and saying I did it.
Someone shoot me.
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:38 pm
“That means “milky coffee… you’re very big””
Thats freakin uncanny! She was very big!
July 15th, 2008 @ 4:47 pm
Look behind you.
July 15th, 2008 @ 5:41 pm
Did Lucky go home for a visit when the stabbing occured?
July 15th, 2008 @ 5:48 pm
Hooronahonda, if you are going to order a drink in a cafe in Italy using a mixture of Spanish and French words then you deserve to be told to fuck off.
July 15th, 2008 @ 6:31 pm
My mother in law asked for her steak ‘mucho cook-o’ in Portugal. I swear to God, she’s the embodiment of Nanny Ogg. But Catholic…
July 15th, 2008 @ 6:33 pm
That’s just fucking brilliante.
July 15th, 2008 @ 6:38 pm
Minguistic genius more like!
carrottops.
July 15th, 2008 @ 7:06 pm
After two days in Italy I managed enough Italian to ask, drunk, at 3am closing time.
Is there another bar like this nearby?
I used it another three times by 8am. By noon I couldn’t remember how to say it again. All I remember is similare and proximo.
July 15th, 2008 @ 8:31 pm
He’s lived there for 2 years and been visiting there for 15 years before that, and that’s the best attempt he can make at Italian?
Jesus, people come here all the time and learn better English than that in their first month.
July 15th, 2008 @ 8:33 pm
Allegedly it’s dubbed. Watch his lips, they don’t match what you hear.
….I’ll get MartyBanana’s coat.
July 15th, 2008 @ 10:47 pm
I’ve just listened to that MP3 about 10 times in a row. It’s brilliant.
July 15th, 2008 @ 11:10 pm
Just home from work. Listened to an Italian Busker (see the link!) for 2 and a half hours hours outside the door playing Danny Boy, A Nation Once Again and similar shite. His lack of talent was only outdone by the fukken volume at which he played. My fukken head is wrecked. I wanted to take the squeezebox and ram it up his hole, the music wouldn’t have sounded any worse. Could I go to jail for killing the cunt? Could I make money by sending him to Guantanamo? Will I ever again have the will to live?
July 16th, 2008 @ 2:58 am
Let not get too judgemental now. At least 25 percent of the population thought their “daddies” were their fathers and it still goes on. Compulsary DNA testing at birth would put a stop to a life of misery for a lot of prople.
July 16th, 2008 @ 3:55 am
I meant innocent people.
July 16th, 2008 @ 7:08 am
Well, Paudge can certainly afford an ‘avvocato penalista’
“Paudge and his half-sister Blanaid grew up at 5 Anglesea Road, a red-brick, semi-detached late Victorian house in Ballsbridge, Dublin, which Brendan Behan bought for his wife Beatrice in 1959 for IR£1,400. In her memoirs, Beatrice Behan described the house as “ugly on the outside, but neat and compact within”.The house eventually came into Paudge Behan’s ownership, and he reluctantly put it up for auction in June 2005; a guide price of €1.2 million (around £840,000 in 2007) was quoted for it. However, the house, known as Cúig, remained unsold until its asking price of €1.65 million was met in February 2006. The Times reported that a sale would be agreed as soon as Behan had returned from travelling in India.”
Wikipedia entry
July 16th, 2008 @ 8:28 am
No wonder he needed an interpreter. Che idiota.
July 16th, 2008 @ 9:27 am
“He’s lived there for 2 years and been visiting there for 15 years before that, and that’s the best attempt he can make at Italian?
Jesus, people come here all the time and learn better English than that in their first month.”
He sounds like it’s his first visit and his knowledge of Italian is the phrase book he’s read on the plane. If you tried you could be reasonably fluent within six months, speaking like a native in two years.
July 16th, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
Never knew of this bastard until today but I have a hate for him that would usually take years to cultivate. Quote from Whitnail and I wannabe remembering life in London–
“It was a wonderful, experimental time. We’d spend long nights discussing art, life and politics; smoking weed, drinking lots of whisky, listening to music and throwing furniture on the fire.”
Arggh. If his Da wasn’t a former chief of staff i’d add to that gashed knee of his
July 16th, 2008 @ 5:13 pm
Hey I’m impressed by his expressive use of (bits of) a foreign language- bet he’s fluent in Ulster Scots too. And as genuine.
July 17th, 2008 @ 1:03 pm
What a fucking gobshite, he’s sueing the Italian police now!
“As they say in LA, on a clear day you can sue forever,” he said
“It is not very good for my reputation as an actor when all the reports in the newspapers are that I have been arrested for murder.”
Yeah, i’m sure this is the real reason the dude gets no work.
http://www.independent.ie/national-news/arrest-actor-to-sue-italian-police-1433818.html
July 17th, 2008 @ 1:05 pm
Seriously, what a fucking cock.
July 17th, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
I wonder does he know he’s an internetzione phenomenonionay?
There’s been 2,800 views of the youtube vid in two days, pretty impressive.
July 18th, 2008 @ 12:05 am
I wonder does he know he’s an internetzione phenomenonionay?
haha
One dayione he could beo more famazione than starwarskidio
July 24th, 2008 @ 12:58 am
Has the sexist irishman on earth really
commited this crime…I can,t believe it..!!!
If he’s guilty…then so be it..!
If he’s innocent….I shall be a fan for life..!
Hey ho…time will tell….
Shame..
October 18th, 2009 @ 7:28 pm
PAUDGE BEHAN IS NOT GUILTY…NOT GUILTY..NOT GUILTY…LET THE MAN GO ON WITH HIS LIFE..
March 21st, 2010 @ 1:50 pm
I agree with Joni C. Do these other low-lifes have nothing better to do then tear down others and beat on them when they’re already down? Do they feel better about themselves after doing that? How well would they be speaking a foreign tongue after (what was it- 17 hours?)of mental torture? I can’t believe how low people stoop!