Times change

When I was much younger I used to stay up late at night watching MTV. This was when MTV actually had some M on it and wasn’t the reality TV station for retarded celebrities.

Does anyone remember Ray Cokes and his massive chin? Anyway, I’d be sitting there, exhausted in the chair, watching video after video until I could barely keep my eyes open any more. But my need to watch more music videos was always pressing, MTV being such a wonderful novelty back then. I also seem to remember we only used to get it between certain hours, 6pm onwards or something, and if you found it on in the middle of the day it was the most marvellous treat.

Anyway, I’d sit there watching and watching, and most of it was crap, but even though my eyes would be hanging out of my head I’d say ‘Right, if the next video is crap I’m going to bed’.

And right enough the next video would be crap. But I’d re-jig my little promise to myself so it’d be ‘Well, if the one after this one is crap then I’m going to bed’. It’s amazing how many next crap ones you’ll sit through.

Nowadays I can’t remember the last time I watched an entire music video and the idea of sitting up late at night to trawl through the music channels is about as appealing as a shit sandwich.

Spoilt for choice or just too old for the MTV?

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100 Responses to Times change

  1. Bob Malooga says:

    Twenty, I bet you’re whacking off to ‘The Hills’ right now.

  2. laughykate says:

    Shit, I was doing exactly that last night. (Not whacking off to ‘The Hills’ but just-one-more-video-and-then-I’ll-go-bed).

  3. Hah! And then the Adventures of Duckman would come on just to break up the videofest, and someone would skin up and someone would buy Hobnobs and then you’d discover some exchange student from Paraguay that nobody knew who’d been trapped in one of the creases in the shit beanbag for three weeks. Aah, thanks for that, Mr Major.

  4. manuel says:

    everything is shite now…..that’s right everything……

  5. red mum says:

    I did the same and now do the same with shite non-MTV programmes, so yup we are getting old.

  6. Medbh says:

    MTV had the novelty feature about it back in the 80s when I had 5 tv stations with crap. There are a million viewing choices now rendering MTV redundant.
    Plus I’m old.

  7. Alan Smithee says:

    MTV indeed. You young Whip Her Snap Her, Twenty.
    Try the Six Five Special.

  8. bug says:

    well said manuel. everything non-news, non-sport and non-plane crash analysis is pure muck.

  9. MartyBanana says:

    Only decent thing on TV nowadays is Gordon Ramsay.

  10. Monkey Balls says:

    What about the hair on that Pat Sharpe fella?
    Or the stupidity of that Bruno Shitforbrains?

    I was with you back there in the 80′s Twenty, doing exactly the same thing. The next video was always going to be better, wasn’t it?

    Imagine that though, all those years ago. Me and you, totally unaware of each other, yet both of us on the vinegar-strokes near the end of a Kate Bush video, and praying for Transvision Vamp to come on next so that we might be able to get up in time for work.

  11. Adonis says:

    Ahhh,the memories. Surely there can’t be a conversation about MTV without an honorable mention to the late, great Vincent Hanley? “Fag Vinnie” indeed!! And don’t forget the wonderful “Jet” from Gladiators. Now there’s a ride if ever! I shall sing 80′s songs all day now. Thanks for that Your Maj.

  12. Tinman18 says:

    It’s Ok, PP, your jar of wee is back. Don’t know what happened yesterday.

    I’m going to sound awfully like my dad here, but music vids were better back then. Because CGI’s & stuff were only in their infancy we were much more easily impressed by something like the Aha video, plus they had to put more effort in. Also, there were fewer of them so you got to know them better.

  13. kev 2 says:

    I did the same last night , only not watching videos or whacking off, it was ; one more glass of wine and then I’m going to bed.

  14. Twenty Major says:

    heh, MonkeyBalls.

    Pat Sharp – remember that phone in show he did where kids would request a video and then some fella called Ronnie would have to run out of the studio and go find the tape in the ‘video library’, while the kid went ‘Run Ronnie! Run!’ the whole time?

    When you think about it now that was a fucking weird concept.

  15. SuperGrover says:

    Never ever watch videos now. Or listen to pop radio. Getting old, apparently, but to me it just seems that everything is shit.

    If something actually good filters through, nop doubt I’ll hear it / hear about it.

    Bah. Humbug.

    Remember MT USA on a Sunday afternoon?

    The Specials all in a car, The Cure in a wardrobe?

  16. I fucking hate it when I agree with you.

    MTV is shit now for the original MTV generation.

    Ray was a legend.

  17. Puerile Pish says:

    There’s fuck all music on MTV now, I find myself watching these stations that have the best of the eighties/nineties until the early hours with overwheming feelings of nostalgia. Due to that I found myself downloading Love & Rockets back catalogue, much to my dismay.

  18. I remember watching that Felix video, with the african lass with the big jugs wandering through some basement. It always came on at about 3.30 in the morning.

  19. Ibanez says:

    MT-USA was way cool. Denis DeYoung anyone?

  20. Jo says:

    I think we have the internet instead now. But the personalities are gone. Ray Cokes and his chin would never get a job now (or PAul King, he was cool too) – they want pretty, vacuous VJs. Though I think Alex Zane is funny and I miss that New Zealand guy, Zane Whatsisname… clearly the Zane bit is key. Though I’m not sure about Billy Zane…

    It is getting old though – the TV3 and Channel Six video shows have some good suff on them, but my concentration is shot. Not to mention that I’m living under the tyrannical regime of PlayhouseDisney at the moment.

    Bring back videos with stories, that’s what I say – that Artic Monkeys one with the suicidal woman was brilliant.

    Tinman, Take on me was a classic! Did anyone see the family guy version? Genius, but I can’t find the original on YouTube :(

  21. SuperGrover says:

    Ha Ha Ibanez, Desert Moon… fuck sake.

    Other regulars included Pat Benatar leaving home in a strop, Cyndi Lauper taking over the gaff with her mates, Radio Ga Ga, Private Dancer, Mickey Jackson lighting up paving stones.

    The Madness videos were the best.

  22. MTV is horrendous now, and the rest of the music channels have shit music.

    But fuck me, those videos have turned into classy porn.

    The one with the hordes of girls in green skirts flashing their knickers and blowing saxophones is . . . like a really really good dream.

  23. flirty says:

    didn’t have MTV, had the RTE equivalent, set in New York – not really the same.

    But “my sweet 16″ is TV gold – you know the future is safe when you see those spoilt arrogant kids.

  24. RedLeeroy says:

    I used to watch MTV with my video set to record/pause. Waiting for a good song to come on to record it. As a result I have about 12 hours of old but great music videos on VHS. But I don’t have a video player anymore. shit.

  25. Change_Of_Address says:

    Ray Cokes earns a buck in France now, and he’s as much of a wanker en francais as he ever was on MTV. (Got to admire the re-invention though.)

  26. Ibanez says:

    The theme tune of MTUSA is the weirdest song on the planet. Its starts off all ‘oh yeah ..hard rock’ and then goes super gay…like Vincent Hanly gay.

  27. Twenty Major says:

    Desert moon, oh man.

    And Zane Lowe is one of the biggest cunts on earth, the eager prick.

  28. Jo says:

    My god, sweet 16, I turned it on once to see a kid having a screaming tantrum at her mother for ruining it all because she had her new Lexus delivered to her school insead of the party! It was horrific! It depressed me so much I couldn’t watch any more, and now every time my five year old throws a strop I’m seized with the cold hand of fear.

  29. RedLeeroy says:

    but as MTV got worse, did the female presenters get better ?

  30. Hot Dawg says:

    Yeah – “Destination Calabria” by some Dj or other. Trust me – I’ve been to Calabria and I didn’t see one group of 40 cheerleaders blowing sax’s and touching themseleves. Not one. “Destination PlayboyTV” more like…

  31. Jo says:

    Ah Twenty. One of the biggest cunts on earth? Come on. You have to have way more worthy targets higher on the list than him.

  32. Twenty Major says:

    No, he makes my kidneys itch with rage.

  33. Sweet 16 makes me angry.

    Normally I wouldn’t approve of gang-rape but in certain circumstances . . .

  34. Puerile Pish says:

    Fucking hell Morgor, your Gravatar is taking over your personality, you have changed into a gang raping serial killer.

  35. Jo says:

    Yeah, I’d better stop chatting to him online. I can see the headlines now.

  36. Elvis says:

    Ray Cokes to Naughty Nympho Nina:

    “Did you score Nina? You should do in that outfit.”

    Love it.

  37. Puerile Pish says:

    He does looka bit like Buffalo Bill, do you wear the skin of your victims Morgor?

  38. Jo says:

    Heh, morgor in a lady-skin suit. God, people have some imaginations.

  39. Twenty Major says:

    Wasn’t Cokes fired from MTV for something a bit funny?

  40. Heh, I was always too old for MTV, even when it started. Only used to watch music on New Year’s Eve, but since that young Jools Holland chap has taken over from Andy Stewart I’ve given that up too.Now, where was I?

  41. Jo says:

    I tried to google the Ray Cokes thing, but nothing came up (well, this post did) – sounds like there was a row.

  42. Puerile Pish says:

    He “quit” because of a load of drunken Germans during a live broadcast from Hamburg ruined the show and he was blamed

  43. SeanR says:

    Currently MTV is just cac, like a never-ending BB series – and that’s shite tv this time out. (BTW: I’m waiting for the BB9 lot to get SARS and die horribly live on air. Emdemol have lost it).

    Your MTV post reminded me of how exciting MTV was at the start, it really did revolutionize television. Even early MTV reality shows, like early runs of The Real World, were brilliant. Now it’s sad non-entity VJs with weird decentered English accents and wanna-be fashion victims. I don’t watch it too often, but I sense the ‘real celebs’ have moved on.

    Ray Cokes was a brilliant showman. I saw Cokes on some MTV thing not so long ago, he was cited as being somewhere ‘upstairs’ in the MTV organisation. The presenters now are just amateurs by comparison, margarine of presenters really. Kinda in that Gay Byrne/Pat Kenny way.

  44. Deborah says:

    Ray Cokes was awesome! It all went downhill when he left… when the real world started, you could tell things were heading down, but when Ray left it was tragic. Now he’s some DJ in Germany or something. So wrong. I don’t think I’ve watched MTV since 1998.

  45. Jo says:

    Bastard Germans.

  46. Darragh says:

    MTV? Well aren’t you posh!

    Down the country all we had was the Beat Box on a Sunday morning with Ian Dempsey, Simon Young, Phil Collins and Dave Fanning. I was never bothered with No Disco (though I shoudl have been) and because we only had poverTV most of my chart musical knowledge came from Long Wave Radio Atlantic 252.

    MTV? Pfffft.

  47. RedLeeroy says:

    wasn’t it – “ray cokes alot” or something like that ?

  48. Jo says:

    I didn’t have MTV for years either, because we had no cable. We didn’t have chennel four, we had channel 4 Cymru. MTV was like a mythic foreign country when I saw it at other people’s houses.

  49. shaz (bad looking) says:

    the guy in chains in that nick kershaw video that was posted here before has to be the hero of the day…..
    as for the shit nowadays….its like the battle of the hoes of trigger happy gangsta rappers, playing to the needs of 13 year old little bitches who want to change their fucking ring tones every 20 mins. MTV should be outlawed….bring back MT USA, sunday afternoons used to kick ass

  50. Twenty Major says:

    the guy in chains in that nick kershaw video that was posted here before has to be the hero of the day…..

    You mean Howard Jones. And funnily enough

  51. Twenty Major says:

    most of my chart musical knowledge came from Long Wave Radio Atlantic 252.

    I once didn’t get a job there.

  52. Change_Of_Address says:

    I already told you absent-minded cunts, Ray Cokes now works for French TV. I won’t tell you again.

  53. Twenty Major says:

    I’m sure I read somewhere Ray Cokes is working for Swiss radio these days…

  54. Change_Of_Address says:

    Well done.

  55. Twenty Major says:

    Sorry, had to…

  56. Spudley says:

    I’d like to take Edith Bowman out for a nice seafood dinner…

  57. Spudley says:

    …oh and ride her rotten afterward

  58. Jo says:

    Aw, little Edith – she doesn’t deserve such courseness!

  59. Twenty Major says:

    She’s another fucking pain in the hole.

  60. Jo says:

    Sarah Cox, now, she’s dorty.

  61. Jo says:

    Jesus Twenty. Why not just call it Ihateeveryone.net ?

  62. B'dum B'dum says:

    yeah I used to watch 2tv when I was little! imagine.

  63. shaz (bad looking) says:

    nice one 20, and that was before i started reading your blog!!!

  64. Puerile Pish says:

    Sara Cox is a fucking whore with ideas above her station

  65. Jo says:

    You’re still little, B’dum.

  66. Jo says:

    A fucking whore? Classy, PP.

  67. Dylan says:

    On an absolutly un-related topic.

    I came across this today and thought about our own TD’s. How would the stats look then!!!!

    Subject: Re: House of Criminals

    This is unbelievable, but true! Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following employee statistics

    29 have been accused of spouse abuse. 7 have been arrested for fraud. 9 have been accused of writing bad cheques. 17 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses. 3 have done time for assault. 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit. 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges. 8 have been arrested for shoplifting

    21 are currently defendants in lawsuits. 84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year.

    Which organisation is this? It’s the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us inline. What a bunch of b*****ds we have running our country – it says it all. And just to top all that they probably have the best ‘corporate’ pension scheme in the country!!

  68. Spudley says:

    Yeah Edith seems so nice that perhaps I wouldn’t ride her rotten (even if she wanted me to) but we would sit up all nite and talk about our feelings and hopes and dreams, and with some luck her hopes would involve me engaged in some form of copulation with her.
    Or maybe a second date.

  69. Twenty Major says:

    Edith looks like a shoe

  70. Carrier says:

    I remember doing the same. That and watching Beavis and Butthead, a show which involved watching dickheads watching music videos. What a waste of youth.

  71. Holemaster says:

    “Edith looks like a shoe”

    Yep she’s a munter.

  72. Holemaster says:

    Might as well face it you’re addicted to loooove.

    That video gave me the Teenage Horn.

  73. SAm Crea says:

    Recently watched MTV to see what is going on, and was confronted with some rapper with a house full of crack hores all trying to win him over. I could only watch for about 6 minutes until my MTV-Generation attention span took over and I flicked..

    Funny thing is, i never had MTV up till five years ago..

    That Felix song/vid someone referred to is a classic…

    magic of watching muscic video programmes in the old days I think was the anticipation of them actually playing something you like..

  74. Nonny says:

    I thought we only got MTV in the 90′s no?

  75. itchybollix says:

    The Dead Kennedys(punk) had a good song called “MTV Get Off The Air, NOW!”

    also other great stuff like “Kill The Poor”; “Is my cock big enough for you to make a star”; “Give me convenience or give me death”

    Not too old; not spoilt for choice; tv is just plain shite now.

  76. Monkey Balls says:

    It’s true that videos were better back then. There was more imagination put into them.

    Nowadays it’s all strolls down the beach with the wind blowing in your hair, or jumping around on the furniture in an overcrowded house.

  77. Lorcan the Lion says:

    Just the sight of Madonna’s cleavage in La Isla Bonita was enough to have me reaching for the kleenex. But I couldn’t afford Kleenex. Only yellow pack tissue paper. Not quite as absorbent let me tell you.

  78. Jo says:

    A Teenage Horn, Holemaster. What can compare to it?

  79. Jo says:

    Hee, that was meant to read, ‘Ah, Teenage Horn..’

    Oops

  80. Monkey Balls says:

    Stop it Jo. You’re only making it worse.

  81. Jo says:

    No, no, the second time was what I meant to say. :)

  82. Jo says:

    And I don’t know what you’re talking about, with your dangly testicled monkey picture :)

  83. Puerile Pish says:

    He has changed to Dutch Gold Jo, which probably shrank his dangly bits.

  84. Jo says:

    It whithers the parts other beers can’t reach?

  85. Monkey Balls says:

    He has changed to Dutch Gold

    He’s changed to 3 Dutch Gold, 2 Joints, and 3 lumps of hash, in various sizes.

    And my testicles have never felt better.

  86. Feynmans Ghost says:

    thanks sam for posting the vid link to felix

  87. Monkey Balls says:

    Hmmmm! Actually they feel really nice!

    Back in 20mins.

  88. Jo says:

    Monkey Balls, the new Belle de Jour…

  89. Puerile Pish says:

    Fucking Hell Monkey Balls, I thought SAm was pedantic but…..

  90. Puerile Pish says:

    And in the interests of communism I think you should share some of your wealth out.

  91. Monkey Balls says:

    Knowledge is wealth.

    Here’s a few gems for you; http://tinyurl.com/6fqcw7

  92. B'dum B'dum says:

    I’m not little, I’m average.

  93. Graham says:

    Are you Beavis or Butthead?

  94. Ciderscrounger says:

    All this music-on-TV nostalgia suggests someone here will be able to help me:
    Sometime in the mid 90′s there was a music programme on one of the RTEs that had a decent enough “alternative” coverage, early evening – maybe 30 mins long? What was it & who was the moon-face guy who presented it?

  95. Pingback: I can’t Wii (For the weekend to begin!) » Every Day is Election Day

  96. Ass-per-usual says:

    This makes me deeply sad for some reason, nostalgia’s a bitch.

    MTV was the fuckin’ shit when the only shows to interrupt the never ending stream of videos was beavis & butthead/duckman.

  97. brenjamin says:

    It turned shit when it stopped being MTV Europe. Remember Headbangers Ball, Party Zone, Europe’s Top 40, Wanted, Beavis & Butthead, Daria, Duckman, Chill Out Zone, Yo! MTV Raps… best channel for years. Now it’s chewing gum for the eyes.

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