Steak me up
Today I’m going to go into town and buy some very large steaks. Then I’m going to come home, scorch the outside of both of them and scoff them while the still raw insides wobble like jelly.
I might even drink some beer with them. I don’t have a deep fat frier though so I can’t make homemade chips.
July 5th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Yep – only way to do it. Still mooing!
Make some oven chips. Same deal, just lather them in oil and throw them in the oven at 200 for 25 minutes. :D
July 5th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
nah, make some homemade chips in a pot. just stand well back.
July 5th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Don’t bother with any fuckin chips. All you need are some crisps (ready salted, no flavour) and a shitload of fresh bread, baguette if you can get it. Have at em, sir.
July 5th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Who needs spuds when there’s meat, lots of meat…
July 5th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I’m a big fan of roasting the potatoes in the oven with olive oil, lots of rosemary, chives, salt and pepper. Yum.
July 5th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Me too, Medbh. Easy-peasy roasters but I put a wee spot of garlic on rather than the chives. I like floury pototoes but these small, waxy potatoes with the red skins are extra good for this for some reason.
July 5th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Just make sure you have some bread to soak up the blood, musn’t let that luvverly stuff go to waste… :)
July 5th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Cut the hooves off and wipe its arse. You are ready to eat.
July 5th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
manimal day on zone thriller.sweeeet.
July 5th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Now look at what you started!
July 5th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Just go out and buy a chip pan for fucks sake.
July 5th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Slow down Alan. It’s not that easy to buy a chip pan. I don’t know what’s happened, but nobody seems to stock them anymore.
I’ve been looking for one for weeks with no success. It’s pasta joke at this stage.
July 5th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Fuck the steaks, go straight to the chips and two deepfried cadbury creme eggs.
July 5th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Are you fearful of a chip pan fire, Twenty?
July 5th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
We should all ‘chip’ in and buy Twenty one of those expensive Japanese steaks the the cows are massaged and fed beer. Kobi? Yeah, Kobi beef.
July 5th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
i think that might be a bit fancy for our twenty.i’d say he’s more of a bse burger kinda guy a la dunnes stores “quality”.he likes his meat abrakebabra style.with that “mystery” taste.
July 5th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Aw, that’s it. My vegetarianness is kicking in: EW.
Especially to blobby bloody insides of rare steaks. Rosemary’s Baby. EW!!!!
July 5th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
do you kids eat meat jo?
July 5th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
your.
July 5th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Not the baby, not yet. My daughter does, though I don’t specially buy it for her regularly, except sliced ham. When she was smaller she didn’t but as soon as she wanted it, I didn’t want to refuse her – she can wait and make it her choice. I suppose the idea of imposing my lifestyle choice on her didn’t sit will with me. If she wants to try something she can (especially with her granny pushing it on her). If she asks for something I’ll give it to her.
I don’t know how to cook meat though, so she doesn’t get much at home – and if I was buying it for her I’d want to but organic, and I can’t afford it. I did make her friend chicken one night but she wasn’t too impressed.
They’re linking processed meat to colon cancer though, so I’m keeping the sliced ham to a minimum though. That and rashers are the only things I really miss.
July 5th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
hehe.did u cook the chick REALLY badly?
July 5th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Well, apparently not, my husband really liked it. :P
Once he’d cooked it extra extra cooked – he’s terrified of meat being remotely undercooked or even tender!
July 5th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
No one eats fried chicken here. I loved it when Iwas a kid. I remember my mother making it, tossing the chicken in a bag of flour.
And I have memories of eating the marrow out of chicken bones that seem totally surreal to me now.
July 5th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
well folks it’s time to wheel out the old joke about the midget being offered a million euro to work in a butcher’s shop
He says;
“I can’t, the steaks are too high”
baddum tish……
July 5th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
How could you Rob, when so much is at steak?
July 5th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
I felt the need to ham it up a little.
July 5th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
This is interesting – I’m trying to post another bad pun, and the blog won’t let me. It’s had enough!
July 5th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
oh fuck it anyway.
July 5th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
maybe you just made a pig’s ear of it.
Silly Cow!
July 5th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
twenty doesn’t want you to fillet with comments
July 5th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
It’s wierd – it’ll post this but not any variation of the joke. It will not tolerate the joke, which would be fair enough, if it wasn;t for what it has tolerated previously!
July 5th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Silly Cow’s not a pun Rob, I’m fairly sure that’s an insult.
Who remembers the episode of Eastenders from LONG ago, when Arthur says ’she’s a right cow, Pat, heheheheheheh, copat, geddit’ – and then she’s sitting there and it’s awkward?
July 5th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
ah crap, cowpat not copat. I’m going to go sleep.
July 5th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
It was a play on words Jo.
I would never insult you….. I have no beef with you
July 6th, 2008 at 12:04 am
don’t rib the girl
July 6th, 2008 at 12:05 am
or something
July 6th, 2008 at 2:51 am
Hang on till I go for a shite and think of something to post
July 6th, 2008 at 3:04 am
Four minutes, not bad.
Anyway, steak. I fucking love steak. I like it medium rare. I like to lick the outside with the SIDE of my tongue, the pepper and salt melted into the slightly crisp exterior. The inside about 3/4 of an inch thick, juicy and oh god so tasty. I like it wish mashed floury spud with a dollop of butter. It’s important to leave some steak to clear up the remaining spud.
Some green beans or some spinach is best for extra veg intake.
Folks, I am fucking gee eyed after having being at a lunch in town (where I ate fish and mashed spud) followed by a party in town where I ate a tasty burger with Pinot noir and more pinot noir.
I am now farting as though I’m trying to launch myself into space.
Now for a pint of water with berroca and two solpadeine.
July 6th, 2008 at 3:05 am
See how it took me 13 minutes to write that.
July 6th, 2008 at 3:17 am
And what the fuck are you doing posting a new thing at the weekend Twenty?
July 6th, 2008 at 4:51 am
|He’s badger baiting.
you’re the badger.
i’m an independent observer.
July 6th, 2008 at 5:49 am
STEAK???? HA HA – RIGHT!
July 6th, 2008 at 7:18 am
get yoself a fat frier from EXIDO , can be taken apart an put in the dishwasher ( except the electric part ) da fuckin biz. It won’t peel the spuds , ( just like Scandinavian women won’t ) but it’s a grand machine. She was only a butcher’s daughter , but she laid on the slab and said ” fillet “
July 6th, 2008 at 7:41 am
I was working with a guy who was complaining of having the ‘meat sweats.’ He was putting it down to a breakfast of mutton chops only about six hours after he’d put away a full roast dinner. He was a big hairy guy with the full handle bar 70’s pornstar moustache – combine that with meat sweats, and it’s not a pretty picture.
July 6th, 2008 at 7:51 am
What a lot of tripe.
July 6th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Ew, laughykate, nasty. I hope you weren’t in too confined a space.
STEAK???? HA HA – RIGHT!
Best Gluaistean comment ever, there.
July 6th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I didn’t buy steak in the end. I had steak in a restaurant in town.
It was very, very, very average.
July 6th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Jo, there were three of us who were confined in a car with meat-sweat-guy. We would have all crawled out – if it hadn’t been for the minor detail that we were in a moving vehicle.Gak.Gak.Gak.
July 6th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Oh god, laughykate, worse and worse.
Twenty, you should have gone for kobi steak. Better to have superior transcendent steak a couple times a year than average steak often.
I keep typing streak. Have a streak next time.
July 6th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Anyone ever heard of beer-can chicken? I thought it was a joke but a friend of mine who is a qualified chef has done it.
The recipe is on http://www.barbecuebible.com, but the short version is you open a can of beer, shove it up a chicken’s arse, and then cook it.
July 6th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
ouch
July 6th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Has anyone here actually had Kobi Beef?
Where can you get it?
July 6th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I haven’t but heard it’s great. Go to London for a weekend and book a restaurant called Hakkasan in Soho. I think they do it. A friend of mine had it there and said it was the best he’s ever had. Very pricey but hey you’re loaded Morgor the Minted.
July 6th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
No, you can buy it in Dublin, I think. But it costs about €65 or €70 a steak, if I remember correctly.
July 6th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
I think I may be watching Flash Gordon on Bravo. It’s funny.
A friend pondered the conundrum of the people we considered sex-pots as children. She offered Flash Gordon as an example – she found him emminently fancialble, but seeing him now, she realises he was a minger.
July 6th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
No, no, no. Buck Rogers, not Flash Gordon. Was Flash Gordon a puppet?
And in fairness to Buck, he’s not that bad.
July 6th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
And while we’re on weird bird recipes, have you heard of a bird within a bird with a bird? Another guy I’ve worked with has done it for a medieval feast he was catering. Duck inside a chicken inside a turkey. You’d be really fucked off if you were the duck.Or would that be the turkey?
July 6th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
My cousin told me of a banned French gourmet dish which is hugely desirable, and it’s hard to get a chef to make it now – it’s the embryonic chick of a rare French bird, which you eat whole, bones and all, possibly cooked alive – and to get the full sensory experience, like the way you inhale a fine wine as you drink… you put your napkin over your head while crunching.
You can google or possibly even You Tube it, apparently, if such a thing intrigues you.
July 6th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Ortolan I think it is. Mitterand was rumoured to have gorged on two of them in one sitting.
It’s eaten from under a napkin because it’s so shameful that you don’t want God to see it.
July 6th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
That’s right, Mitterrand. How well informed you are, Holemaster, I’d never heard of it before.
Is that really the reason behind the napkin?
My cousin’s husband told me and my uncle and cousin about it when I was in the States for my aunt’s funeral. We ended up laughing hysterically about it, which was nice. My uncle asked if you had to put your napkin over the laptop to enchance the experience while ou watched it on Youtube.
July 6th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
http://www.ecis.com/~alizard/ortolan_recipe.html
July 6th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
It’s all very aristocratic.
July 6th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Oh my god. I’ve just seen the funniest thing ever. The youngesters won’t appreciate it, but, oh my god. Never mind Ted Rogers, this was the height of horrible Saturday night ITV programming – but look at the outtake, have a laugh!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izet8zN1vmE
July 6th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Ha. Brilliant.
July 6th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Seriously, how funny is that? And I love how it gets better and better. They had to knowwhat they were doing when they designed that one. But Jesus, was CAthcphrase not the zenith of entertainment? They weren’t even catchprases.
Dancing. Man. Man dancing.. Danceman. Mandance!!!
Yes, that’s a catchphrase, mandance!
It’s like Numberwang.
July 6th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
I loved blockbusters and of course I like countdown, anything with wordplay.
July 7th, 2008 at 12:11 am
They should bring back Blockbusters.
July 7th, 2008 at 12:12 am
And the Vortex from that afternoon kids’ show.
July 7th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Here’s one from Countdown
July 7th, 2008 at 12:17 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8caOtQlsoY&feature=related
July 7th, 2008 at 12:22 am
That is really well done. It couldn’t be real, could it? Two clergymen and cuntflaps?
July 7th, 2008 at 5:25 am
The bird-in-a-bird-in-a-bird thing is called a Turducken. Americans deep-fry them for Thanksgiving, apparently.
July 7th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
God can see through napkins, so he can
July 9th, 2008 at 7:28 am
You can get that fancy beef in a butchers in Terenure, and you can get alligator steaks, and wild boar sausages. Just what you want to hear in these times.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:34 am
I know the one you mean, not sure they do Kobe beef but all the other stuff is there.
Yes, Ostrich. Just what I’ve been looking for.
July 10th, 2008 at 7:14 am
on reflection, it might be called watangu or something.. poor man’s Kobe?
July 14th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Had Ostrich a couple of months ago. Massive.