Gaps and book sales
Posted in Blog, The book by Twenty Major on June 26th, 2008
Who would be a web designer? You make something that looks perfectly fine on your own computer but other people don’t see the same thing.
I don’t know why people using IE6 are seeing a great big gap on the top of the homepage. Nor do I have the gumption to investigate a solution. If there’s any web bloke out there who knows how to fix it then please let me know.
Alternatively you could all get the same computer as me, use the same browser and screen resolution and then we’d all be happy. Well, I’d be happy because I wouldn’t have to worry about why there are big gaps because there wouldn’t be any gaps. Stupid gaps. Something that exists between Madonna’s front teeth can’t be good.
On another note as I muddle my way through book 2 (as yet untitled) I got a letter from the publishers with sales figures for The order of the Phoenix Park. So far it’s sold just over 4,700 copies which is pretty all right by my reckoning.
Stick that up your cunt, Sunday Times.
Ok, it’s working, we’re back at the top of the page with the post… the font in here is still huge, but we can live with that…
Good man on the sales, now give them a bollocking and say a fan wasn’t able to get it in Dublin airport boarding area bookshop
June 26th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
4,700 is an impressive figure. Woo!
June 26th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
1
The font should be normal, Conan. Try refreshing the page again with CTRL + F5 (I think that’s how it’s done on a PC).
Cheers, and you’re not the first person to say it about the airport actually.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
2
Well done toots! Naturally they won’t write up a piece about that, mister foul mouth blogger, threat to the medium. Pints are on you this weekend so.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
3
Go on then, I’ll shout a couple so…
June 26th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
4
Good one on the book.
I work in graphic design and I feel your pain. Every single one of my clients is a cunt and none them understand the meaning of good design. I know fuck all about web and I don’t want to know.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
5
Clear your cookies?
June 26th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
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Clean my cookie.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
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You’ve got a book out eh? Too busy listening to eighties electro pop on my ipod to have noticed.
Everybody Wang Chung tonight?
June 26th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
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I once had to design a website for someone. It was the worst fifteen minutes of my life.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
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I was going to Chicken tonight.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
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SoS - you bargain hunting wind-up merchant.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
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Heh,
I’m right about the wordpress thing though. I just haven’t worked out the solution other than play around with the offending post when it happens :(
June 26th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
12
I use your book to bash the local asbo seeking scumbags. I need to buy another copy as the one I have has gone to tatters with the blood and skin on it.
Make that figure 4701 !
June 26th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
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To all the IE6 users out there - your solution…
http://www.getfirefox.com
June 26th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
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A more noble use for a work of literature I have yet to witness
June 26th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
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…well just be thankful that the gaps on your webpage weren’t filled with Guy Richie’s pubic hair.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
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Ok, the font is better now - welldone,
4,700 at 2 euros each equals around 10,000 - is a party planned?
do the sunday times have a cunt to stick it up - what would you stick up there? no 4701?
June 26th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
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I’m right about the wordpress thing though. I just haven’t worked out the solution other than play around with the offending post when it happens
Strange business. Firefox is the solution. Or everybody should buy a Mac.
…well just be thankful that the gaps on your webpage weren’t filled with Guy Richie’s pubic hair.
hahahah *vomits*
Sid - yes there’s a party. I’ll be sure to tell what it was like.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
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There’s a dog outside with his paws up on the window ledge looking in at me. He’s been there for a while. It’s hilarious. Dogs are cool.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
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“buy a Mac”
I can understand your unusual affinity with Steve Jobs.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
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“buy a mac” - only perverts have macs. milky milky
June 26th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
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The dog is thinking “why wont that twat let me in - Can he not see it’s pissing rain out here”
June 26th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
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I think he’s reading Twenty’s blog. Oh he is, he just nodded.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
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thanks twenty, you’re a love
June 26th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
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Twenty, I don’t like this new design.
You use to have visitors comments in blockquote tags so it was really easy for me to jump through them without looking at pointless information such as the persons name. Who cares about that anyway! I just want to see what they’ve written! On the off chance it’s interesting or funny, then I’ll look for their name…. maybe.
Could you revert back to that for your comments? IF your not sure how email me using the address I’ve provided and I’ll tell you.
Oh, and I’m still waiting on that electronic / pdf version of your book!
Go on, let me read it.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
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Don’t talk to me about gaps…
Well, I’ll give you a great review for a free copy…wrapped in a 50.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
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Seriously, Is the book not available in the Airport. I was saving the pleasure for my holliers cos I only read on airplanes and therefore do most of my book shopping in the airport.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
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Dog gone.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
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I’m happy now it’s all bigger.
Holemaster - could it be Bastardface?
June 26th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
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Keep forgetting to buy your book. I’ll do it soon. I’m a miserable git, though, and tend do do my book-buying in a couple of bursts a year in the Hodges Figgis sale.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
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Do it quick, before the recession hits.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
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Well done amego!
June 26th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
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Don’t think it was Bastardface, there was no blood around his snout.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
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Then it might have been Nailerzzz’ hell hound, tracking you down through the airwaves.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
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Hmmm. Might have been. He had a can of Tanora in his paw. You can only get that in Cork and Limerick.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
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I don’t think it’s in airports, should be still in town though.
Darragh - I have an idea of how to do that but I don’t wanna. I’ve just gotten it looking reasonable now, if I start playing around with it again I’m sure to fuck it up.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
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Well done on the sales Twenty! Hell of an achievement!
June 26th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
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Twenty, I’m almost sure I bought more than that.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
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Cheers, Donncha. It’s all thanks to Wordpress!
June 26th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
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That’d make 2 of us, Dan.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
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IE6 and its predecessors have kept many a web designer up at night. What a hateful, horrible thing.
I hate it!
June 26th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
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I’ll hit a book shop in town specially
Grover is the “Super” bit dead and buried for good - I’ts a bit like referring to Madonna as Donna - does’nt quite have the same resonance…
June 26th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
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“I’ll hit a book shop in town specially”
Call them up tell them you’re just browsing, go on DG.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
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Not sure, Dessie. I’ll leave it for a day or two and see how we get on?
June 26th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
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Huzzah on the book sales, Twenty!
Well done.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
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Well, Grover has the opetion of being SuperGrover any time he likes, so it’s all good.
My husband bought a couple of his own cds too… how can you not? Himself has been looking into own label stuff, and read somewhere that if you sell 500 of your albums that’s v significant - and they sold nearly 400 at their launch. Still, nearly five thousand’s a lot more significant than that!
June 26th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
46
Twenty, will you be having vol-au-vents at your party
June 26th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
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Vo-au-vents? Might I recommend my husband’s dream of the Ambassador’s reception - a golden pyramid of his favourite Bird’s Eye fish cakes?
Ah, Monsieur, with zese fishcakes you are spoiling us…
June 26th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
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No, Vol-au-vents are for cunts. I prefer my pastry based snacks to have a roof. None of your open top shite for me.
Ta, Medbh, for you contribution!
June 26th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
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Feck, you’re revealing your lack of class now twenty, everyone knows a vol-au-vent is better than two in the bird.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
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On this whole second book bit, will there be some sort of competition to name it? Or will the boring old publisher who does that? And will it have another Harry Potter theme? I hope so, I wore my lucky, special punning underpants today (went commando - why do commandos wear no underpants? Is it a ‘hard’ thing to do?)
New site look reminds me of politics.ie, all green and white and shiny like, and they love using the word ‘cunt’ too. But they never do, those lily-livered sons of bitches.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
51
So Twenty, is the sale of 4,700 copies a success? Can you live off 4,700 copies for a week, month or year?
(Fuck me this font is ginormous in the comments box!!)
June 26th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
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I can’t live off it at all but I think it’s pretty good for a first book.
MMN - I don’t think it’ll be a Harry Potter theme. The title is still under discussion but I don’t think there’ll be a competition. That would mean having to divulge some of the plot which would mean me actually having to know what the plot was.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
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Rang Hodges figgis - American Gent answered asked if he could help. I said “I was Just Browsing” I heard a bit of clicking - he came back to say that he could’nt find that title did I have an authors name to help in the search so I said “Ole Master” and he came back to say he couldnt find it, so I acted all disappointed and hung up.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
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my first book sold over a million copies. it was by enid blyton.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
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The first mix I put up online for public dissection got 56 downloads..I was over the moon!!!
Well done Twenty! Havent read the book yet but shall take a trip to Eason in Limerick on Saturday and pick it up..
June 26th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
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Organdonor in 5 words or less, please, what sort of mixs do you do
June 26th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
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4700 may not be enough copies to live off, but I’m sure it’s more than enough to feel insufferably smug about.
Seriously though, well done Major. However fantastic it must feel to be a published author, it ust be even fantasticer to be a publish author who people are spending money on.
Especially during a recession.
June 26th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
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Prose like “it ust be even fantasticer to be a publish author” is probably the reason why nobody will ever publish me.
June 26th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
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publish, no, punish, maybe..
June 26th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
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creepy.
June 26th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
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I don’t think I’d feel smug. Just a lovely warm sense of self-worth and validation and appreciatedness and success and encouragement etc. Sigh.
No, I’m not remotely envious.
June 26th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
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grover.i think you should stick with the supergrover.
http://bestuff.com/stuff/supergrover.
this pic reminds me of the greatest american hero.which came first you reckon?
June 26th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
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Cool. Well done, Twenty! Delighted to hear the book’s doing so well.
June 26th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
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Like the wee floaty cigarettes!
June 26th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
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Good site, lazlo p-j. I think you’re right about supergrover too.
June 26th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
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Like the wee floaty cigarettes!
Flying fags…
June 26th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
67
So that means you’re home, right?
June 26th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
68
When is the second book due out?
June 26th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
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Cute monkey MB. I’m scared to look too closely though.
June 26th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
70
wednesday week, i heard
June 26th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
71
I’ve just tried to look up a hotel, & found instead of the name I was looking for I’d typed “Twenty Major” into the Google box.
God, I need a life.
June 26th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
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Similar thing happened me in the local shop.
June 26th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
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My brother once went on a booze cruise to Wales. McDonalds had a new Chicken Sicilian thingy he wanted to order but conditioning made him say ‘Big Mac Meal and a coke’ - damn, really wanted to try it, so he went back for one. Same thing happened again - twice!
June 26th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
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same thing happened me when my immediate superior in the army asked me how many questions he could ask in the poplar guessing game
June 26th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
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yes, yes, popular
June 26th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
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damn you jo, ruined my really crap joke by interjecting, thereby confusing the origin for it and forcing me to issue this explanation.
yours sincerely
June 26th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
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heh heh jo, classic on the big mac
sometimes when i go to a pub i think “won’t drink guinness tonight, bit full” or something but when i open my mouth at the bar, my gob just orders one for me
June 26th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
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Anyone else ever get on a bus and ask for 20 John Player Blue?
June 26th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
79
Was it not the Irish Times that slagged your book rather than the Sunday Times?
According to the blurb on the book, the Sunday Times called you “Mr Bean for the Internet Generation.”
June 26th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
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Glueaistean - Fr.Jack for the Internet Generation
June 26th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
81
I enjoyed your book so fuck the Sunday Times!
June 26th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
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I can’t find that brian cowen hitler lisbon treaty youtube thing, anyone have the link?
June 26th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
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Was it not the Irish Times that slagged your book rather than the Sunday Times?
The Sunday Times wrote a big piece about how poorly it was doing.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
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Fuck them, Murdoch owned cunts.
I notice they have a lot put down stories about ireland disguised as news.
Stop robbing it years ago.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
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HM, you could try a Big Mac next time your in the pub, you’ll be presented with a large bottle of Mcardles…
June 26th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
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woohoo,
Backed spain to win 3-0 when they were 1-0 up, 9/1 odds.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
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bigmacandabottleofmacardles
June 26th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
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“Backed spain to win 3-0 when they were 1-0 up, 9/1 odds.”
Shit, that’ll be a staff member out ’sick’ tomorrow.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
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Hey SuperGrover, check out the AngryBlueSock on Youtube…
June 26th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
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twenty,
may be speaking out of turn here.but wasn’t it kathy foley who rubbished you as opposed to the sunday times?
wouldn’t that be like lumping gene kerrigan with that ball sucker o connor?
i loathe the sunday independent but still buy it to read kerrigan.doesn’t mean i like harris and his toady o connor.
June 26th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
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Using IE6 makes it their own fault.
June 26th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
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This is nice - all sharp edges.
And the font is bleedin’ massive.
June 26th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
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Ah MB, what have you done with the original Avatar?
Now Jo’s comment no 70 just looks pervy.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
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Oh and well done on the book - 4,700.. .that’s 4658 more than the meaning of life, the universe and everything.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
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may be speaking out of turn here.but wasn’t it kathy foley who rubbished you as opposed to the sunday times?
Yeah, Kathy Foley dismissed the book in two lines which generated the kind of reaction and visits to her blog that she wanted but a fellow called Colin Coyle wrote an article a couple of weeks later to highlight how few copies had been sold. It was only a couple of weeks after the book had come out.
He emailed me to ask if I had any comment to make. I said ‘No comment’. I was saving my comment. Which I made today.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
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Cheers, Crock.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
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“He emailed me to ask if I had any comment to make. I said ‘No comment’. I was saving my comment. Which I made today.”
D’ya reckon they’ll quote you?
June 26th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
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I don’t think so. Which is a shame really.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
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Now Jo’s comment no 70 just looks pervy.
Exactly!
June 26th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
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sweet.
kathy foley looks like she’d take some mickey though, in fairness.
and that includes the piercing in her japs eye.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
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Ohh now the new look makes sense to me. That’s great about the book sales. I dont’t know about you, but if you put 4700 books in a line, I am thinking that’s a fucking long line.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
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Why would you put them all in a line though? Wouldn’t a pile be cooler?
June 26th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
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I would kill myself on the ladder.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:43 pm
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I’d rather do a line than have piles.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
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Sorry about that SG, it took me a minute and some rereading to get it, it’s true.
What’s the story, Tinman and MB, I still see a monkey. Pervey? Moi?
June 27th, 2008 at 12:01 am
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MB’s monkey has a monkey mickey…
June 27th, 2008 at 12:17 am
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My old monkey still shows up on my laptop, but the one with the extra naughty bits comes up on my Wii.
I could have fun with this.
June 27th, 2008 at 12:28 am
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He emailed me to ask if I had any comment to make. I said ‘No comment’. I was saving my comment. Which I made today.
Jesus, i’d say it took all the will power you could muster not to say something to him…
June 27th, 2008 at 9:20 am
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You’re not wrong …
June 27th, 2008 at 11:34 am
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Why waste words on the cunt when a perfectky good punch in the snotbox will do
June 27th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
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Follwed immediately by an almighty hoof in the billies
June 27th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
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IE 6 is a pile of shite. I have Firefox at home but have to put up with this shite when at work. I also have “The Order of the Phoenix Park” at home, and a lot of dirty laundry from involuntarily pissing myself while reading it. Well done Twenty.
June 27th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
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Cheers Govstooge…
June 27th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
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