We need a handsome politician
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on June 25th, 2008
See this recession business, I know I said I didn’t care, but frankly I think we should all be petrified. Everything is going to shit and nothing anyone can say can make the slightest bit of difference.
I read on Breakingnews.ie that Eamon Gilmore, leader of Labour, asked “if the Government planned a mid-term Budget to introduce emergency adjustments such as cutting public services, freezing pubic pay rises or increasing taxes”.
You know times are hard when politicians are considering freezing pubic pay rises, the lecherous cunts. Still, my main concern is that no matter what Brian Cowen says I just can’t help thinking ‘Damn, you are an ugly, ugly man and you make my face scrunch up in mild disgust when I see you’.
I know I should be above things like that but I just can’t help it. He is ugly. He does look like his tongue is too big for his mouth. He’s like a St Bernard crossed with the offpsring of Mary Harney and Andre the Giant. He looks like he should be wearing a bib at all times. I keep expect him to just start saying ‘flobbalobobabble’ because that’s what his mouth looks its doing when he talks. He’s so ugly he makes blind children cry. He was in the band that played in the bar in Star Wars when they first met Han Solo and Chewbacca and they didn’t even need to give him a mask.
It’s petty, I know. Childish, certainly. But we all make judgemens about people based on how they look. You might say you don’t, but you do. And my judgement of Brian Cowen is that he is too ugly for me to have any faith in him at all.
What Ireland needs is a charismatic, handsome leader. Someone with a twinkle in their eye and the kind of smile that makes the ladies hearts melt. Let’s be honest about this. He doesn’t even need to be that handsome at all. As a group of people politicians have to be about the ugliest of the lot. You get handsome binmen, pretty shop-assistants, hunky taxi drivers and sexy cleaning ladies but politicians, it’s like their very ugliness predisposes them to choose a life in politics.
Look at the politicans people talk about as being handsome. JFK, for example. He was certainly charismatic but it was only when compared to the likes of Richard Nixon that you could call him really handsome. That was because Nixon looked like a down sydrome beagle with a wad of piss-stained cotton wool in each cheek. Put him alongside Cary Grant and he was nothing. Nothing. He was the most handsome politican which is sort of like being the best Damien Rice tribute band. You’re just less shit than all the rest but still shit.
We want to have confidence in the people that run our country. Not look at them and want to gouge our own eyes out because they’re so fucking hideous they’d turn you to stone.
But maybe it’s simply that attractive people don’t get involved in politics. They become actors, TV presenters, singers, sportsmen or women and such. But if a square-jawed hunk were to tell me tomorrow that Ireland would be ok, that the recession won’t bite that badly, that we’d all be ok and if he told me that with a winning smile, fake or not, I’d be much happier than having to listen to Brian Cowen.
I just don’t trust ugly people. Especially ugly politicians. They know that the world has done them a bad turn, having power over a large group of the electorate is their revenge. You might call me petty but look at them, desperately grasping for power so they can feel good about themselves at last.
Fucking minging bastards. We’re definitely fucked.
Loving the sleek new style, Twenty.
Fab.
Cowen is an ugly bastard alright.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:07 am
He`s a thick Biffo, what u expect!
June 25th, 2008 at 12:11 am
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Cheers, Medbh. I mean, look at him - http://newsfeed.tcm.ie/media/images/b/briancowenangry.jpg
June 25th, 2008 at 12:11 am
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I don’t want to look at him. He scares me. This is a great post, I agree totally. They’e all Dorian Gray’s paintings. Mary Harney is the same.
Given what he looks like, would you not think he’d stop sticking out his tongue and making funny faces for all the evil journalists to prey on?
June 25th, 2008 at 12:14 am
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He looks like he’s coughing Cowen ooties on us in this one
http://www.eu2005.lu/pictures/actualites_photos/05/13ecofin05.jpg
June 25th, 2008 at 12:16 am
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Face off
http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/images/2007/1102/frontpageimage.jpg
June 25th, 2008 at 12:17 am
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Kissy kissy mwahhhh
http://imgslut.com/files/7jlr990rlf4hx8z52qj9.jpg
June 25th, 2008 at 12:18 am
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Bleurgh. Sleep. Laters.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:19 am
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Is that you on the right Jo?
June 25th, 2008 at 12:24 am
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found an older picture of him. it’s amazing what a makeover can’t do
http://alexplorer.net/guitar/text/guitar/gamorrean.jpg
like the new banner, and the wordpress theme name probably struck a chord with you, but it’s not as legible as the old one.outsourcing to romania now? probably only paid a quarter of the going price in true celtic tiger fashion
Theme Name: Mental Disorder
Theme URI: http://teo.esuper.ro
Description: The most vital thing in a man’s life is his mental attitude.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:25 am
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I always wondered what happened to the Spitting Image puppet of Roy hattersly after that show died. Now I know. Dribbly cunt.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:35 am
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This is nice! The comments seem much more roomy with a South-facing aspect.
June 25th, 2008 at 1:10 am
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Obama’s all the handsome I need.
June 25th, 2008 at 1:13 am
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Question. How many politicians do you know of who are bleeding riots to be around? A bit irreverent, charismatic with IQs off the Richter scale so they are armed with skills to save the country/planet and killer looks?
June 25th, 2008 at 1:18 am
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The Doc got shredded for saying much the same about Cowen.
No justice in the world.
p.s. Twenty for Il Ducé - brains, charisma and looks
(that cheque had better not bounce! )
June 25th, 2008 at 1:39 am
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Twenty in that pic you linked I kept trying to figure out if his glasses were that long or if he just really has a big dent in the middle of his face.
Ick.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:23 am
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Brian Cowen is an aesthetic affront in every sense. However, I find it amusing that among the more enthusiastic critics here is someone who, were you to castigate a female politician in similar terms over the course of an entire blog, would suspend her apparent sense of humour and write a voluminous blog whinging about patriarchy and other such bollocks.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:30 am
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Good post Twenty, but i dont think even the suave Zarkosi and his sexy missus could get us out of the hole we are in at the mo..
And sorry but I hate the new format. it looks like a newbie blog (like mine for example)
If it aint broke, dont fix it.
Seriously.
PS is that how you spell Zarkosi (I mean the French fella)
June 25th, 2008 at 2:41 am
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Well spotted Rob!
SAm, give it a day or two. You’ll get used to it.
Or else Twenty will change it again, and we’ll get used to that one instead, etc. etc.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:54 am
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However, I find it amusing that among the more enthusiastic critics here is someone who, were you to castigate a female politician in similar terms over the course of an entire blog, would suspend her apparent sense of humour and write a voluminous blog whinging about patriarchy and other such bollocks.
Did you take lessons in how to be so snide?
June 25th, 2008 at 6:57 am
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“Bleurgh. Sleep. Laters.”
Jesus, Twenty, Please tell me the last S there was a typo.
June 25th, 2008 at 7:36 am
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And Jo, thanks for making me open 3 cnsecutive pics of Brian Cowan on a crowded DART.
Not only do I now look like a perv, I look like a perv with as much taste as Ryvita
June 25th, 2008 at 7:38 am
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No copy of the Metro to keep you busy, Tinman?
June 25th, 2008 at 7:56 am
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The Metro only keeps you busy for about 2 stops, Twenty
June 25th, 2008 at 8:36 am
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Not snide twenty, observant.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:37 am
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How come you were up at 6.57? Are you celebrating the retention of the early houses?
June 25th, 2008 at 8:37 am
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Hence the reasonn Medbh has gone to town when I’ve called Mary Harney a fat cunt, for example.
Try and memorise the TV pages, Tinman. That should help.
Also - if anyone wants you can have a little pic beside your comments. Go to http://www.gravatar.com and you can sign up there.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:39 am
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As an alternative we could always ask the Brits to vote in a real trog as Prime Minister. That way we wouldn’t look so bad. I’m thinking Ricky Tomlinson.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:46 am
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Tinman - Bastardface was grumbling out the back at something. He woke up me, the huge cunt.
Lung - good call. Or Gary Neville.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:48 am
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Surely Ciaran Cannon is the ugliest of them all. I voted No on the recent referendum thingy because of his massive ugly head peering down upon me from lamp-posts telling me to vote yes.
I would not do anything someone that ugly told me to do. uurrrggghhhh.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:03 am
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test
June 25th, 2008 at 9:04 am
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Fail.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:05 am
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:) Gravatar no worky
June 25th, 2008 at 9:06 am
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Ciaran Cannon, good one. When will they learn that we just don’t want gingers in charge of anything?
June 25th, 2008 at 9:06 am
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A friends daughter apparently has a digital sound as her alarm on her mobile phone that says “ginger alert”, “ginger alert”
June 25th, 2008 at 9:09 am
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actually twenty, the fact that she doesn’t go to town over it (and if you read my comment I referred to an entire blog, not a throwaway line) is in some ways, worse. It’s either cowardice on this blog or fake moral outrage on hers. That’s my contention.
I’ll get my coat……
June 25th, 2008 at 9:12 am
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‘You might call me petty’.
First time round, I read this as you might call me ‘pretty’.
Pretty boy.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:13 am
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You would call me pretty too. Pretty boy lover.
Rob - cowardice, fake, any other insults you want to get in before the morning really starts?
June 25th, 2008 at 9:18 am
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Maybe Bono will run for public office…look how much he’s done for Africa.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:19 am
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Rob, being bitchy about someone’s looks has got fuck all to do with feminism. Medbh does not write posts expressing moral outrage at people, whether male or female, being described as ugly.
You’re full of ignorant shit.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:21 am
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Quite right.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:22 am
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Right and pretty.
It’s an irresistible combination.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:26 am
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Like bovril on toast.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:28 am
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Bertie must be loving this. He gets out, everything goes up the swanny. Jammy cunt.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:31 am
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Plus he was very ugly too although not as ugly as cowen.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:32 am
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Pictures of contributors ? The horror, the horror.
Ugliest person ever - Peter Beardlsey
June 25th, 2008 at 9:33 am
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Beardsley for prime minister…
June 25th, 2008 at 9:34 am
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“ginger alert”, “ginger alert”
heh
June 25th, 2008 at 9:43 am
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Check out Davie Dodds ex Rangers footballer on Wikipedia, now he’s a candidate. We used to sing at football matches “Davie Dodds the Elephant man” how cruel we were as youths.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:49 am
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Picture this - Brian Cowen and Gordon Brown with Ginger Barnets and pubes at a spencer tunnick ort installation, blue with the cold…..Can you see it…There, now even Mary the Minge looks appealing.
Good Morning…..
June 25th, 2008 at 9:56 am
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Oi! Leave the gingers out of it, jealous fops.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:58 am
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bovril - a guinness shite in a jar. vile.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:59 am
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FMC - Do you have a soul?
June 25th, 2008 at 10:00 am
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Dessiegee - that has to be in the top 5% of contributins to this site, ever.
Any advance on Neil Kinnock ?
June 25th, 2008 at 10:05 am
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Don’t be silly Dessiegee, of course not.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:09 am
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How’s about Robin Cook’s beard or a bleary eyed Charles Kennedy
June 25th, 2008 at 10:17 am
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Bertie’s son in law, whasisname… it’ll be just like the Lemass Haughey thing all over again.
Nice layout. A small font’s always a good choice in a recession.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:49 am
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To me the font is bigger than the old design.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:59 am
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alt+scrolly thing changes font size anyway.
there’s gotta be one handsome politician… Luke Ming Flanagan?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:04 am
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scrolly thing ?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:06 am
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Commenting font is courier 7 or 8, at a guess. But like B’dum B’dum says you can probably change it. I’m liking his Ming suggestion, he looks like you Twenty, only younger. Got the beard thing going on.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:09 am
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For me, looks like courier six
June 25th, 2008 at 11:10 am
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Talking about sexing up politics, I somehow stumbled on this link on the web.
WARNING - Contains a disturbing Image - Not work compatible
June 25th, 2008 at 11:16 am
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She looks great!
June 25th, 2008 at 11:17 am
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Do you mean the font when you’re typing your comment or the actually comments themselves?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:20 am
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B’dum B’dum - ALT+SCrolly thing - Can you be more specific please, my failing eyesight is now failing faster since I started reading this blog this morning - The font is Way too small for my poor eyes…
June 25th, 2008 at 11:22 am
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I’ve nothing to say today.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:24 am
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Nobody’s listening anyway, HM
June 25th, 2008 at 11:26 am
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Apart from me.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:26 am
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Twenty - Both the reading and the comments - I reckon i’m seeing about a 6 or 7 size font. It looks like you’ve taken youre original page and condensed it to half the size. I have a quarter page blank on both left and right hand side of the page.
It’s actually giving me a furrowd brow and a headache - codeine anyone??
June 25th, 2008 at 11:28 am
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Dessie - what browser/OS are you using?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:29 am
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scrolly thing on the mouse!
June 25th, 2008 at 11:31 am
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I’m on Vista/IE Twenty - if you care.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:31 am
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And it’s small for you, Maggot?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:32 am
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Thaks mate - that worked wonderfully.
Sadly though it doesn’t enlarge the sexy Harney picture
June 25th, 2008 at 11:34 am
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I’ve just looked at it with IE6 on Windows and it seems fine to me.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:34 am
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No longer smal thanks to the wonderful B’dum Bdum!
I think you should take him out for dinner.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:36 am
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Any more saucie Harney pics Dessiegee ?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:37 am
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Don’t encourage him, please.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:38 am
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I think I may have a fever as I found her attractive.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:41 am
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I’m using WIndows XP professional Service Pack 2 with Internet Explorer 7.0.
scrolly thing on the mouse! is that the wheelie thingy in the middle of the mouse.
1st sentence make me sound like a technical wizard. 2nd one more accurately portrays me as the true techno tard that i am. Help!!!
June 25th, 2008 at 11:42 am
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I think it’s all small too.
Alt + scrolly thing does nothing for me!
Does it work in bed?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:43 am
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The wheely thing worked for me
June 25th, 2008 at 11:43 am
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Width of the page and font size is a bit small. Having taken a quick look at the Mental Disorder theme, you should be able to change it all in the style.css and adjust the “width” values so it uses up more of the screen, and change whatever fonts sizes there too.
That’s if you could be arsed listening to us moany cunts…
June 25th, 2008 at 11:43 am
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for anyone vaguely interested, following is link to current stylesheet for the site. font sizes in pixels, not points, hence funny font sizing. must get a life.
http://twentymajor.net/wp-content/themes/mental_disorder/style.css
June 25th, 2008 at 11:44 am
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Whoops it was Control and wheely thing worked for me Jo
June 25th, 2008 at 11:45 am
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Surely 12px is big enough for everyone though, no?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:47 am
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An achingly cute joke for you all this morning - someone’s four year old, on seeing his new cousin being fed for the first time:
‘What bees give milk?’…… He lifts his top to reveal his bare chest and cries ‘Boo-bees!!!!’
June 25th, 2008 at 11:48 am
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Sorry Maggot, no more - my stomach is still churning after the last one.
If you like that sort of thing there is always Sachs hotel Nightclub here in Dublin on a Friday or Saturday Night. I would’nt say they specilise in nights out for the older fuller figured woman but the place is always chocca with fat chicks….You’ll need all your wriggling skills to get past them to the bar. .
June 25th, 2008 at 11:49 am
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Ah, control and scroll does the trick.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:52 am
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What’s the longest longest has anyone ever had a headache for, and what did they do about it?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:53 am
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usually only get headaches when i stop drinking, so just have to keep supping away
uncle had a headache for 3 years. what he did to get rid of it was die, because the headache was a tumour.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:59 am
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Twenty, try .9em instead of 12px. That’s what I use on my site and it’s nice and legible. Dont ask me what the difference between px and em is tho…
June 25th, 2008 at 11:59 am
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Don’t you have to change all the font sizes to that .em thing then though?
June 25th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
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Back to the Gary Neville, Peter Beardsly thing.
Sorry but it’s Luke Chadwick hands down.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
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http://sport.defined.de/img/20040611_luke_chadwick.jpg
June 25th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
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Control & Scroll Rocks….
Jo, a couple of years ago I kept getting really bad headaches that painkillers or nothing would help. Doctors said they could’nt find anything wrong with me. Finally one day I snapped at work and told my horrible cunt of a boss to go and fuck himself and I walked out the door. Headaches disappeared and have’nt had a problem since.
Is there somebody or something in your life stressing you out?
June 25th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
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Ha, that’s a good point. Maybe, maybe not. My CSS seems to have em and px sporadically dotted through it, so it’s probably okay. From what I gather, em is better to use because it scales to the display, rather than just being a pixel value.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
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It’s better, have you been fiddling with it? It was as small as the time/date info on comments.
No mouse here, so no scrolly/wheelie thingy.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
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“What’s the longest longest has anyone ever had a headache for, and what did they do about it?”
In my case I just broke it off with her and that seemed to work.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
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My ex-wife had a headache for the 9 mmonths we were married .
June 25th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
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Hmm, ask a man a question…
Dessieg, I think you may be right there. Good story.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
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Just changed it to 0.9em
Does it look any different?
June 25th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
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“the difference between px and em is tho”
px is pixel measurement, as in digital imaging. Screen/resolution is measured in pixels, isn’t it? Em is an old print measure, allows the same space to be given letters that would otherwise be a different size… I think.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
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I don’t know Twenty. But I already can’t quite remember what the old one looked like, so I wouldn’t worry about it
As long as you’re here, we’ll be ok :)
June 25th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
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“Does it look any different?”
Yes, better… although I perfer a serif font myself. What I’m typing in the comment box is serif (Times/Roman?) but what appears is sans-serif.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
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I like a roundy font, me.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
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hah, too kind Jo.
I think I can change the comment form - or that may be a browser issue, Conan.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
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Worry not, it’s legible and it’s working!
June 25th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
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“Just changed it to 0.9em
Does it look any different?”
Does my font look big in this?
June 25th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
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weird - ctrl and wheel works everywhere but this site for me - yahoo, peurile’s page, etc but not here.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
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Jo… in a proper answer to your question. Drink more water, headache could be dehydration? Or get some fresh air.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
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It’s Gluaistean, SG, he’s concentrating really hard, and preventing it from working.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
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Is the font smaller Twenty or just far away?
June 25th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
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HM, not after, two weeks? It’s a sinus thing (hopefully, as opposed to a brain tumour). I had exactly the same thing when I was pregnant, so I thought it was hormonal.
I took the same remedy that fixed it then, on monday, the homoeopath said give it three days. We’ll see. Doctor if not, I’ve only one more dose in my packet of paracetamol… don’t want anti biotics though :(
June 25th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
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solpasinus Jo, from the makers of solpadeine…only in chemists though..
June 25th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
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The paracetamol works fine Sam, but I want it cured, not just pain killed.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
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And Jo if your into Homeopathy, you really should watch this video..
Homeopathy
June 25th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
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Seing as we’re on a techi roll with the ALT+SCroll thingy. How do we get an image to appear beside our names like Twenty & Dan. The word “AVATAR” is jumping out of my head as I type but dont know what it means
June 25th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
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That control and scroll thing is dead handy. Sorry If I seemed critical of the new layout, but its very white, when I logged on last night I thought I had died and had gone to some kind of heaven.. But the enlarged font helped, maybe i’m gettin old..
June 25th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
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At least you have the decency not to class me as a Non-Smoking blog any more.
Fair play to ya Twenty.
And the font is smaller. Or I’m bigger?
June 25th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
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My mother was a homoeopath, Sam, it generally works for me and my children. I’ve taken antibiotics once in my life, when I was four, my daughter never, in five years. Accepting the theory does take a leap of faith, I’ll grant you that.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
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Dessie - go to http://www.gravatar.com, sign up, then when you leave the email address you signed up with gravatar in the email bit here it’ll show your picture.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
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Dessiegee: Sign up at gravatar.com, upload your picture and it’ll appear on any website that supports them.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
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I might make a non-smoking category for you, Grandad. Or pipe smoking. But you might get lonely in there on your own what with Peig not being a blogger an’ all.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
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Soon be kit kat time!
June 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
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