Waiting to see someone this afternoon in an office. The receptionist went upstairs to tell them I was waiting. She came down.
‘She’s just on a mobile call. She’ll be down in just a seccy-moo!’, she trilled before going back to her desk.
A seccy-moo?
Why?
Maybe she had the mobile phone on vibrate and was putting it to good use. Ask to use it and take a sniff and you’ll find out.
Don’t you know it’s the sort of rhyming slang you get in ‘polite’ offices. “Seccy-moo” is code for “she’s doing a poo”.
A psychedelic cow?
A speccy-moo would be a 4 eye cow, I assume.
Who knew secretaries had their own rhyming slang?!
No, a speccy moo would be Mary Harney
My secretary is a lazy cow.
If she said Happy Friday I’d give her a funt in the gee.
Maybe she was retarded?
Holemaster, you have a secretary? How adult. Are you actually an extremely important business person? Are you actually an Taoiseach?
Twenty, I think you inspired her to cuteness. She probably got online to her friends to tell them about the cuddle umpkins in reception as soon as she sat down.
Having children can mess with you though – I once went over a bump too fast with a friend in the car and said ‘Oopsie-bump!’ to her. God. And Keynoter said she rang the school to say she was on the way to pick up her injured child, and afer the secretary was nice to her, as she said bye she said ‘I love you!’. (I know I should find the post and link to it, but…)Involuntary madnesses.
IS a seccy moo some kind of fashion Item. Maybe this was how you ewere supposed to recognise her when she came down the stairs in her seccy moo
Nice Dessie – Seems she’s only wearing a seccy moo and nothing else. How sexy wexy.
Oopsie bump HAHA. My ex once called a bad motorist a “Naughty Wanker”. God if she reads this she’ll know who I am. Come back! I love you, let’s have babies now.
Anyway, moving on (which I obviously haven’t) my secretary is shared with two others…….
Having children catapults you into a parallel universe where the words you use are essential to maintain a child’s interest, but appear as utter cuntypoohs to everyone else.
Ha, did she say it to his face?
‘Naughty wanker’ really suggests you’ve been caught wanking – unless that’s why the bad motorist was naughty?
No she said it through the window of the car, I actually wasn’t there to see it but she told me. I think she wagged her finger at him too.
I want children, where do I start?
Cute
Yeah I know at the finger wagging not the last one.
HM, did your parents nor explain about the peepee and the vajayjay?
“peepee and the vajayjay?”
NO what? you mean my twinky?
Yeah – you see you put the….. If a girl wants…..no, wait, if you love, emmm…..eh……after you’re married….. fuck it – storks leave em under cabbage leaves.
“….storks leave em under cabbage leaves.”
Would I find their Mammy their too?
“their too?”
there too, damn.
Not generally. The mothers of the stork children tend to be elusive and can occasionally conceal themselves in plain sight. It’s important to search tirelessly to ensure that if such a “storky worky mommy wommy” is ever around you that you have an opportunity to nab her.
Very important you don’t shag a stork.
or follow them around in a creepy manner. that would be storking
It’s not creepy when I do it. Some storks tell me it’s reassuring.
Twenty – I do hope you waved off your little girly wirly receptionist with both hands and said “Day Day”…..
a right fucking cow…
Scary thread. I’m heading back for another triple decker kit kat sandwich.
“my secretary is shared with two others…….”
surely that’s unhygenic?
surely that’s unhygenic?
It is most unhygienic for the secretaries.
That’s right up there with “sounds like somebody has a case of the mondays.”
Bleurgh.
It is most unhygienic for the secretaries.
She probably learned her lesson and has antiseptic mouthwash by now.
Even Listerine doesn’t work Mr Morgor – I can still taste Poo.
She could at least have said seccy-poo. Does she not know who you are?
not even “extra strength cock-poo” listerine?
Hey Morgor – don’t encourage him!
Not changing the subject, but did you see somebody called Twenty “Buddy” and got aay from it ?
And did you see the horseshit from Naomi Campbells’s Trial (Link)
Chairman of the magistrates’ Peter Yiacoumi said he had given Campbell credit for her guilty pleas and previous good character.
and
Her lawyer Simon Nicholls said: “All my client wanted [was] to be dealt with as though she was anybody else.”
Fuck me, she got special attention from the Captain and she slandered him. She attacks cops – and doesn’t get Jail ? If she had been a bloke she’d be doing time.
but maggot, she’s so beautiful.
An ebony princess…
Sheeeeee-it
“my secretary is shared with two others…….”
surely that’s unhygenic?
Jeeez took you long enough.
some very hesitant person was about to say second, then switched to moment, then got confused and gave up.
thats my guess, and a bloody good one it is too.
you could onto something there.
I’m off to watch The Hunted on the goggle box.
Holemaster, I missed that ‘I want children comment’.
Was that a desperate plea of some sort, or did you really want to initiate a vajayjay conversation? :)
Vajayjay is the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.
Gayer than Elton John, George Michael, the lead singer from the Scissor Sisters and Christy Dignam doing a cover of ‘Free, gay and happy’.
46th bitch!
47th bitch!
Cunt, bitch.
Cunt, bitch.
Hey Buddy – what you doing here on a Friday night ?
Most unusual behaviour.
I said okley dokley on the phone today……horrendous…..
For that you must die Manuel. Sorry.
Is a seccy-moo some sort of mixed up bastardisation of a “sex-mo”?
As said by Richie in the Bottom episode “Digger”?
IS IT?
Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtzfXJA3Ph4 (It’s 1 minute in)
It’s too early for Bottom.
Cue MB: It’s never too early for bottom.
I only heard vajayjay recently. I think it’s really American. I think people say it to their children. Uptight, twinset wearing, picket fenced in Stepford moms, perhaps.
Oops. Trigger happy.
It’s funny though. What would the penile version be? Peneewee?
Is Christy Dignam really gay??
I looked up Christy Dignam on Wikipedia, and found absolutely nothing there that even suggested he might be gay. On the contrary, he’s married with kids.
I did find this though;
“Aslan Live At The Olympia” which features appearances from Jerry Fish, Relish and Damien Rice.
So he IS gay.
Wakka, wakka, wakka, wakka, wakka, wakka….
I’ll get me coat.
Gay or not I wish Christy Dignam would stop singing “How can I protect you in this crazy…….”
On a similar note, when are Republic of Loose going to write something different?
I think RoL have found their niche…
As to Crazy World, what artist wouldn’t build a career out of rereleasing the same one or two songs over and over and over, while still keeping their integrity intact. Ingretity. Tegrinity. Tregennity. Ah fuck it, let’s just try and make some more money.
When will be their come back girl?
“girl” – you must be from Watherfard, baoy.
Would have said ‘Blah’ in that case!
Well that’s proof without doubt that you are. Secret south east shanty language..
Well no I’m actually a Dub but I am awake to the sounds of the nation.
53 On June 21st, 2008 at 8:58 am Jo said:
It’s too early for Bottom.
Cue MB: It’s never too early for bottom.
I only heard vajayjay recently. I think it’s really American. I think people say it to their children. Uptight, twinset wearing, picket fenced in Stepford moms, perhaps.
The worst kind of repressed perves and deviants Jo.
As for the seckey wecky.
Just lost for anything meaningful to say by the sheer mindlesness of it all.
Thats your Why? Twenty.
Hey guess what – it’s Saturday, so meaningful is banned. Na na na
Oh dear god you are sooooo right.And its such a looooong day.Rain damn rain.
But there is always alcohol and family matinees! Hurrah for a ready made excuse for staying in and doing nothing!
Alcohol and family matinees on a rainy saturday.
Thats Samaritan territory!
Nothing to worry about, the kids don’t usually start drinking until after tea-time!
Not in my house by god they won’t.
They can go bushing like we all did.
My heart goes out to all you poor people who were waiting for the weekend, thinking the weather was going to be somewhat close to the fantastic weather we’ve had during the last few weeks.
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaah!
Count your lucky stars that I’m not sober, ‘cos I’d really lay into ye, good ‘n’ proper like, if I was accidentally sober.
rik mayall is the devil.
‘bushing’?
Rob cigs and alcohol.Retire to a suitable parkland with discrete areas. “Bushing”
Ah, I see. Mighty relieved too!
Hmmmmmm! And you though it meant.
Actually thought that perhaps your kids were made to watch Gardening Special on repeat. The horror of Alan Marshtits!
They get enough of gardens when they go to the park with their mates.
According to the sister there is Semicock Road in Ballymoney. Great address for a Church.
A mate of mine once told me he would meet me in the pub later for a ” Drinky-Poo ”
I extracted his spleen.
Maggot – I believe that a friend of mine (ahem) once went out with the man who inspired that road name
I wonder if it is pronounced Semi-Co, as in Cockburn’s Port ?
Or Don Cockburn (showing my age).
You have to wonder why they’re called mobile phones.
Who’s Don Cockburn!? What age are you?? Is your chinese girlfriend actually a mail order bride??
!!
I remember Don Cockburn. There, I said it.
So, it’s very quiet. Any interesting deaths this weekend, no?
Was she chinese?
Twats and Prats the lot of you!
this won’t go the 100
told you !
The News of the World says, the best place in Ireland to get a good roast is in some hotel in Co Antrim?
Recommended by footballers all over Ireland ..and some Wankers..
did you kill her in her ear?
ps ear is the new face.
I’m listening to the ITV commentaters on the French Gram Prix, and evey driver in the race seems to have the same fucking name HAMILTON or LEWIS.
“Who’s Don Cockburn!? What age are you?? Is your chinese girlfriend actually a mail order bride??”
Do you not remember the RTE newsreader who used to cycle to work every day? He was on the goggle box way back when I was a little fella in the 70s/80s.
Chinese g/f is highly offended Jo. You’ve ruined her 18th birthday.
heh heh
fuckin hell, it just might…..
kev2, you’re so desperate! here’s a bone…
Twenty, stop taking weekends off. Look what you’re reducing us to!
He works week-ends Jo.
….in an orphanage.
I’d love to hear one of his sermons MB!
Shut it…
I just got a belt of the crozier – ouch!
…..with lollipops and trichlorethane.
Do you like that maggot? -Trichlorethane?
-Sounds a bit like ‘Tri-Colour Ethane’, doesn’t it?
You can use it if you want.
I like acetone myself MB.
I prefer Trichloroethane. I’m a pedantic abuser.
I had you down as a rohypnol man Twenty.
You just don’t know me at all, maggot. You don’t know me at all.
I shouldn’t listen to malicious gossip mate.
Although not as toxic as many similar compounds, inhaled or ingested 1,1,1-trichloroethane does act as a central nervous system depressant and can cause effects similar to those of intoxication, including dizziness, confusion, and in sufficiently high concentrations, unconsciousness and death.
Prolonged skin contact with the liquid can result in the removal of fats from the skin, resulting in chronic skin irritation.
Studies on laboratory animals have shown that 1,1,1-trichloroethane is not retained in the body for long periods of time. However, chronic exposure has been linked to abnormalities in the liver, kidneys, and heart. Pregnant women should avoid exposure, as the compound has been linked to birth defects in laboratory animals (see teratogenesis).
The substance is deadly to insects.
Eh…?
oops, messed up the italics.
I prefer Trichloroethane.
For fuck sake Twenty, It’s Sunday night, and I’m not in work ’til 18:30 tomorrow. What difference is it going to make to anyone if I drop an ‘E’?
hah, it’ll hurt tomorrow. I know this from recent experience.
Actually, I dropped an ‘O’.
-Is that bad?
Oooh, that’s 2 Es and a C. Danger Danger.
I’m going to drop some chocolate buttons
You are one devil may care bastard, and no mistake.
Fair play to you Twenty! You were spot on when you said I’d feel it tomorrow alright.
At 00:01 on my clock my head started throbbing, I lost the erection I’ve had since 3 o’clock last Wednesday, (and a mention in next year’s Guinness Book O Records), and my anus is itching like fuckin’ crazy.
I’d better take another one.
A curer.
Bollocks! I dropped an ‘F’.
I’m in trouble now!