Powderman
Posted on | June 6, 2008 | 193 Comments
“Twenty”, said Stinking Pete, “do you ever worry about getting old?”
“Not really”, I said, “there’s not much you can do about it, is there? So it’s a pointless exercise. Sort of like worrying about homelessness, starvation and global warming”.
“It disturbs me”, he said.
“How come?”
“I never thought I’d have to use so much talc”.
“What?”
“Oh, I was fine with the other parts. You know, going a bit bald, hair sprouting from ears and nose, belly extending, aching joints in the morning, loss of memory, lack of potency and desire to watch the news at every available opportunity, even if I’ve just watched it the hour previously. But the talc, man that was a suprise”.
“I don’t understand”.
“Well, after I have a shower I find it increasingly difficult to dry off my balls and my gooch. No matter how rigorously I towel them there remains a dampness that stays with me all day. And before you say it goes beyond my usual sweatiness. So, in order to have a comfortable day I have to talc up my goolies. It’s a small thing, I know, but I just can’t shake the feeling this is the start of an irreversible decline”.
“What brand of talc do you use?”
“It doesn’t matter”.
“Yes, yes it does”.
“Johnson’s baby powder. Ashes to ashes, eh Twenty? From that which we are first emergent we then rebecome”.
“What?!”
“Do you ever talc your balls, Twenty? Do you?”
“My balls are my own business, thank you very much”.
“On the plus side I’ve had a week of rock hard logs which require little wiping afterwards. God, I hope I never have to talc my anus. Imagine the effect it’d have you on your poos. They’d be like little Turkish Delights.”
“Ron!”
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193 Responses to “Powderman”
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June 6th, 2008 @ 9:09 am
pink cuboid poo?
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:09 am
What is a “gooch”??
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:10 am
Covered in white powder, Grover.
Your gooch is the bit between your balls and your ringpiece, Nonny. Not yours, necessarily. Ones.
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:11 am
You’d better talc or you’ll get a dose of crotch rot… Had it once, the pungent odour has you wondering if a pikey has snuck up behind up until you realise it’s actually your very own jewel bag that reeks. Solved it with a dose of foot spray.
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:16 am
So, Twenty, sorry, I mean Pete, your neithers* gets harder to dry with age?
Wonder what is the science behind that? Some sort of elasticity / absorbency combo, no doubt.
* neither sac nor arse
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:16 am
Ah, turkish delight, full of Irish promise
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:43 am
‘Gooch’? I always thought it was called a ‘barse’ – the bit between your bollox and your arse….
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:50 am
A woman’s is a taint. ‘Taint pussy, ‘taint ass, it’s a taint.
You know how people say that something just made them throw up in their mouths a little bit, but it didn’t really? That Turkish delight horror nearly, almost, practically did. Jesus, Twenty. I liked Turkish Delight too. Blee.
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:52 am
The technical term for this area is the perineum
and it is twice as long in males than in females. So we should get a tax rebate on talc. Of course when you are out and about the use of pool chalk is permitted although it is rather disturbing for other pool players, not to mention the blue marks in your pants.
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:54 am
PCB I would reckon Petes “Turkish Delight” would taste better than that floral tasting gelatine, with the added bonus of having a large iron content from his consumption of Guinness
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:56 am
Your posts are like road kill. Horrible, yet can’t drag self away… ikkkkkkk.
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:04 am
Twenty – because I realise you are using your friend to seek advice here – the answer is to wash your affected area in 50:50 vinegar and water twice a day – that will kill off the yeasty things that cause the problem as they don’t like a mildly acid environment. Then use Lynx or some such* and go naked in that region for as much time as possible. Ideally wear a Kilt or failing that wear loose yoops.
And – we have to be frank here – spray the appropriate region of any sexual partner with a diluted ( 1:4) Dettol or TCP solution using a handy plant mister that you should carry with you at all times.
* Ladies intimate deodorent also works well in masking smells but may not have sufficient anti-perspirant action .
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:05 am
Twenty you cunt, are you stalking me?
I was having an in depth discussion about gooch powdering in the pub about a week and a half ago.
And I had some turkish delight on wednesday.
Next thing I know you’ll have a post about soiling yourself.
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:11 am
Ew, candida of the perineum. What a lovely topic for a sunny morning. Still, you’re pandering to your masses with their poo fixation today.
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:12 am
moooooorgoooooor…..mooorrgooooorrrrrr……
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:23 am
Be honest Jo – the idea of Twenty in a kilt appeals to you!
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:28 am
There is no way that sunglasses on the head, jumper on shoulder,chino wearing poseur will ever have the right to wear a fucking kilt. A smoking jacket and cravat a la Noel Coward perhaps but never a kilt.
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:29 am
maggot – not if he’s got thrushy bits under there…
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:31 am
He has leprosy of the perineum, or putrefying gooch, thrushy bits are the least of your worries, a touch of canesten on your lips before you kiss him and all is sorted.
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:32 am
I just unleashed 14 kourics of badness into the Irish eco-system.
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:36 am
Talc is handy for drying the places your hands / wife can’t / won’t reach.
Turkish Delight is like Turkey, heavily advertised, but overwhelmingly foul.
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:46 am
On a lady the area is referred to as the Biffon Bridge… as it’s the bridge your balls biff on when having a jaunt.
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:49 am
PP in a Kilt – safe for work.
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:59 am
The aging process is a shock to the system alright, the news, the belly. But thankfully I haven’t had the talc problem. Luckily I look a good five years younger than my true age so that’ll fool me into thinking I’m a young buck for another while.
Don’t get me started on the poos, you know what I’m like.
June 6th, 2008 @ 11:00 am
You’ve dried your balls
But you’ve missed a spot
Your gooch, still wet
Will start to rot
So before it smells
Like Seafood chowder
Remember to use
Some Talcum Powder
June 6th, 2008 @ 11:04 am
poems are gay but that was quite good
June 6th, 2008 @ 11:11 am
Turkish Delight is truly minging.
Twenty, cotton underwear, tell ‘Pete’ to wear cotton underwear, and go commando as often as possible when he’s laying about the house. And by commando I mean naked. His quiff will soon dry.
June 6th, 2008 @ 11:43 am
How exactly do you apply talc to that area? Do you stand, legs apart, and aim the bottle up and give it a squeeze so that it squirts upwards?
June 6th, 2008 @ 11:45 am
or perhaps roll on your back, with your legs above your head?
That’d be a great sight to walk into.
“Dad! would you remember to lock the bathroom door!!!”
June 6th, 2008 @ 11:45 am
dollop into palm and gently pat area – too vigorous can be painful!
June 6th, 2008 @ 11:47 am
making sure your nails are well rounded?
June 6th, 2008 @ 11:50 am
Pete should be concentrating on a method of collecting the emissions.
It would help him in his love-life, particularly with Mothers of young babies. They love a bit of Goochy-Goo.
June 6th, 2008 @ 11:51 am
off course. It’s an area that bleeds profusely.
June 6th, 2008 @ 12:02 pm
I just threw up my Weetabix.
June 6th, 2008 @ 12:08 pm
Weetabix will be most uncomfortable and I doubt if it will be absorbent enough Alan – try readybrek.
June 6th, 2008 @ 12:14 pm
readybrek will however leave an unsighyly orange glow around your bollocks, but it is absorbent…
June 6th, 2008 @ 12:15 pm
*unsightly: curse my chubby hands
June 6th, 2008 @ 12:18 pm
“poems are gay but that was quite good”
Do you drive a car van with a MH or LH plate by any chance?
June 6th, 2008 @ 12:23 pm
Orange is good Rob!
June 6th, 2008 @ 12:32 pm
Wikipedia call it “the surface region in both males and females between the pubic symphysis and the coccyx”.
…Doesn’t that just take all the fun out of it?
June 6th, 2008 @ 12:53 pm
Comment Nº. 12
- the answer is to wash your affected area in 50:50 vinegar and water twice a day –
Sorry maggot. I don’t think I could get used to the smell of fish and chips during sex. I’m not a northsider, you see.
June 6th, 2008 @ 12:57 pm
You must be a contortionist if you can sniff your own nether regions Lung
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:05 pm
Or a beagle…
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:07 pm
Beagles like fish and chips.
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:07 pm
“Your gooch is the bit between your balls and your ringpiece, Nonny. Not yours, necessarily. Ones.
”
That is suppose to be a mans G spot isn’t it?
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:12 pm
Beagles also like to wear makeup and smoke 20 a day, it doen’t make it right.
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:17 pm
That is suppose to be a mans G spot isn’t it?
Guess again nonny. somewhere browner apparently….
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:20 pm
Morgor, there is no way my G Spot is anywhere near Donegal
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:28 pm
heh heh heh, funny
Nonny, if you press it, it accesses the Gspot, which is actually the prostate. So you’re not quite wrong.
I love the chippy smell of vinegar and paper – I think that would be quite aphrodisiac for me actually :)
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
G Spot, eh? Girl one time decided to give me the “cheeky finger”, but I nearly hit the ceiling. Not my thing.
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
Nonny, if you press it, it accesses the Gspot, which is actually the prostate. So you’re not quite wrong.
I love your knowledge Jo
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
Like an electric shock, it was
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
maybe she had one of those electric handshake things on?
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:41 pm
That brought tears to my eyes SG!
Dangerous information to put online Jo!
Especially as you are planning to meet these reprobates.
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
Where’s London Tim? I’m sure he could fill us in
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
That’s ok, I’m not planning to finger them…
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
Jesus, what a terrible choice of words
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
I’m not bothering with the gig anymore, maggot, I’m just meeting her afterwards at the chipper.
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
I’m not coming so. (either meaning)
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:44 pm
hahahahaha
Hey, I jsut got offered Radiohead tickets for tonight, but I’m going to pass them up, as I’m a woman of my word. And Malahide’s very far away – if it was the RDS, I fear I would have been gone in a shot.
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:52 pm
It’s interesting actually, I read an article about women who were angry that a group full of student doctors had burst in on them during a vaginal exam, or they were complaining about how their exam had been handled (it was ages ago, I can’t quite remember the stories, but they were pretty unpleasant), and there was a grumpy quote from some old Harley St type, insisting that this was all just a lot of nonsense, he didn’t see what the fuss was about, and no man would have any problem with having an anal exam under any conditions at all.
Discuss?
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:57 pm
hmmm, can’t imagine being too pleased to be honest.
They should have told the doctor, fine, we’ll give you an anal exam and film it and put it on the internet.
June 6th, 2008 @ 1:57 pm
Well, here’s a thing… nah feckit
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:00 pm
I once fell out of bed with a woman as we both had our fingers up each others bottoms and we were still interlocked as we hit the floor laughing our asses off. It was her idea. It’s always the woman’s idea i find.
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:02 pm
I don’t give a fuck if this makes me sound gay, but I reckon the anus is chronically overlooked in the quest for sexual satisfaction, and I’m talking about both genders here.
Get over your hang-ups and liberate yourselves!
Up yer hole, the lot o’ yiz!!
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:04 pm
“It’s interesting actually, I read an article about women who were angry that a group full of student doctors had burst in on them during a vaginal exam”
Which subjects did the vaginas excel in? Probably not art, it’s quite hard to hold those smaller paintbrushes.
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
Hm, the vaginas excel in:
1. French (kissing, of course)
2. Woodwork – how to use an erection when it’s put in front of you and
3. Math – whether a guy lithpth when he’th down there
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:29 pm
Maggot, I just threw up the Readybrek too.
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:32 pm
Oral or course, apart from the lisp problem.
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:34 pm
And only the Inter course (showing my age).
Though some might like to try the Group.
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:35 pm
Where’s London Tim? I’m sure he could fill us in
Speak for yourself…
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:38 pm
Vaginas would be good at school sports, Ping Pong.
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:50 pm
Seeing as the subject of today’s post is hygiene-related, I feel obliged to inform those I’m meeting up with later tonight that I’m getting a new bathroom fitted today.
“So what?”, you ask.
Well it’s like this; I was woken this morning by the sound of a massive lump-hammer hitting the only toilet in the house. I’ve been sitting on a turtle who insists on constantly trying to stick his head out, with the result that I’m afraid to even stand up. The water’s switched off. I can’t shower, shit or shave.
You’ll just have to accept me as I am tonight, whatever state that happens to be.
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:55 pm
so basically you’re going to turn up drunk, smelly and with a pooey bottom?
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
I hope so, coz otherwise I won’t recognise him.
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:59 pm
I’m expecting more “covered in shit” really.
June 6th, 2008 @ 2:59 pm
And drunk and stoned too of course. Goes without saying really.
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:00 pm
Really.
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:07 pm
I thought it went without saying “really”
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:08 pm
I’ll be at the NCAD finals show, getting very drunk and stoned and promising to hire little designers if they come home with me.
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:10 pm
I have a free house from 12:30am onwards Holemaster if you need somewhere.
No toilet, but a free house.
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
Mate’s band playing JJ Smyth’s 11:30…
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=204193850
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
“I have a free house from 12:30am onwards Holemaster”
I’ll them for you under the stairs when I’m finished for when you get home with Jo’s finger stuck up your arse.
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:27 pm
Coherent, Hm. The falling off the bed story is funny – Imagine embarrassment in S&E if you’d broken them though.
MB, I’m giving up Radiohead for Doran’s tonight, I find. And now I’m going to be spending it with an unwashed drunk who’s shat himself? Hmm.
If you brought a bike, SG, you could pop in for a bit first?
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:30 pm
I’m giving up Radiohead for Doran’s tonight, I find. And now I’m going to be spending it with an unwashed drunk who’s shat himself?
Sounds like a fair exchange ;)
I’m gonna go see “Mongol” tonight, I’ll try and make it after that….
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
It’s OK now Jo. The plumber’s mate just showed up with all the parts they need to finish the job. They say they’ll be done by 5pm.
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:34 pm
You misunderstood me Holemaster. The free house becomes available when I get home. I come free with the free house.
I’ll put you under the stairs!
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:34 pm
Jo, what time are you going to be there? Any distinctive items of clothing that I might recognise? Carnation in the buttonhole?
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
“And now I’m going to be spending it with an unwashed drunk who’s shat himself? Hmm.
If you brought a bike, SG, you could pop in for a bit first?”
When she puts it like that, SG, how can you resist?
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
Tat IS the main attraction, to be fair.
Oh yeah, what time are Juice on?
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
Tat = That.
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
Morgor, fuck “Mongol”!
I’ll download it and burn you a DVD. Come early.
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
Carnation in your butthole?
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:46 pm
Did nobody aks TM is he heading in? How rude are we?
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:46 pm
aks – hahaha
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:58 pm
Hah, TM was scathing – scathing! – when MB suggested a meet up. Implied his commenters are a load of creepy weirdos he’s no interest in setting eyes on.
I hope he’s wrong…
SG, I’d say they’ll be on from about 10.30 – 11.30, so it doesn’t realy suit you – but you could come in earlier anyway, at least one of the other bands is good.
If things go according to plan, black and white skirt, black top. If you mail me at infantasiablog@gmail.com I’ll send you my mobile number.
June 6th, 2008 @ 3:59 pm
Nobody aksed me.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:01 pm
I’m off home now. Jo, black and white, got it.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:02 pm
Anybody know if there’s a nice ‘smokin” area in this Eamon Doran’s? Me and my friend Mary J like nice ‘smokin” areas.
And I don’t mean back out on the street.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:04 pm
Sir Michael Stout will win the Derby, back all three any way you like, job done.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:05 pm
There is no aksing. Nobody aksed me either.
I invetid myself!
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:05 pm
Implied his commenters are a load of creepy weirdos he’s no interest in setting eyes on.
He’s not wrong there. As I said before all dubs are mad weirdos. But sure is Twenty a dub as well
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:08 pm
Is anybody going to Eamon Doran’s early. Tinman18, what about you?
Have you got the number I have to ring at the door?
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:10 pm
Morgor, where do you think you’re going?
(said in a threatening voice, not a nice one!)
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:17 pm
I’m not a gate-crasher like you though, MB
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
Anybody know if there’s a nice ’smokin” area in this Eamon Doran’s?
There’s a big courtyard where 90% of the people will be Tolkien on a phat one.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
I saw it for what always was, an open invitation. When did it become anything else?
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:19 pm
I’m just joshing man. All that backed up poo is breaking your brain.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:20 pm
Unless you’ve since gone in a bucket or into a plastic bag.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:20 pm
As I said before all dubs are mad weirdos.
hehe fucking westbrit cunts in the pale.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
Thanks you for the info brenjamin. I’ll start construction immediately.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:22 pm
Morgor, where do you think you’re going?
I’m off to put on my chastity belt before you see me.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:23 pm
Thanks for the info Twenty. A plastic bag, -why didn’t I think of that?
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:23 pm
Surely everyone has done a poo into a plastic bag at least once.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
Thanks for the info Morgor. I’ll bring a locksmith.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
Remember.. yellow to the font brown to the back.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
Who you calling a westbrit
I’m just joshing man
are you for real twenty?
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
^^^@ Morgor
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:30 pm
MB,
I will in me hole bring nubile young artist ladies back for a mauling at yours.
I will ply them with wine and hashish at my abode and fall asleep and miss out on all the action.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:31 pm
Peadar, there seems to be a malfunction. Have a cup of tea, and a good sit down.
Come back only when you feel ready.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:31 pm
Is that a crocoldile, brenjamin?
Twenty, I’d love to suggest you’d come in, but I’m afraid of getting laughed out of it. Of course it’s a public venue.
Though I’m going to alert the bouncer not to let anyone if they’re carrying a suspicious looking plastic bag.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:35 pm
But Holemaster, I have a video-camera set up on it’s tripod. I’m after hiring out extra lighting, and I’m interviewing potential cameramen at the moment. The best offer I’ve had so far is €200 and a half-ounce, but I’ll get more if I hold out.
Split it 50/50?
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
Sorry Jo, can’t make it tonight. It’s Dirty Dave’s birthday. We’re having rice krispie cakes and pints of absinthe.
Have fun though.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:42 pm
Haha no Jo, I was pointing at my last message and addressing it to Morgor, but I was too late again and a message was posted between them.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:48 pm
What the fuck are you talking about MB? Are you drunk already.
June 6th, 2008 @ 4:49 pm
Hehe, I was wondering what your second message was about ;)
Watch out for monkey balls “pear of anguish”. (follow my link)
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:00 pm
“But Holemaster, I have a video-camera set up on it’s tripod.”
Hmmm. That could be useful for when I fall asleep. So could the half ounce.
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:02 pm
Twenty, you should suggest sudocreme to Pete. At least I think that’s what Mrs SoS rubs on me Jabbas every morning, evening, and lunchtimes on birthdays and bank holidays.
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:06 pm
Sorry, MB, up to my eyes all afternoon, I’m gonna try & be there by eight.
I will be carrying a copy of the Egyptian Examiner and will answer to the greeting “A strong gale behind a tortoise can pop him out the front of his shell.”
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:16 pm
But Twenty, that’s what I was bringing in my picnic basket. The absinthe’s in a thermos, of course.
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:17 pm
I’ll try to pick you guys out of the crowd.
I’ll say “there’s a party at mothers”.
The reply is “and a good time will be had by all”
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:30 pm
I’ll bet Twenty is booked to hear confessions tonight.
Man of the cloth, so I’ve been told. It all fits, even down to problems in the nether regions.
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:45 pm
SoS – once I don’t have to apply it myself.
maggot – I condemn you to hell.
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:51 pm
maggot – I condemn you to hell
You want to send all eternity with me ?
I’m touched!
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:52 pm
spend …. I hate this keyboard.
the church thing explains his absences at week-ends .
June 6th, 2008 @ 5:56 pm
and his lust for children.
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:51 pm
ah see, you’re all in Eamon Doran’s shattering your illusions! Aha ha!
And i’m hammered after being at the NCAD party and stopping off at the office for a shite. I’m well and truly locked. About to go out again and pretend I’m not drunk at all.
Man, the server is fucking noisy when nobody else is here.
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:51 pm
never meet your heroes.
if you turned up 20,u might aswell be phil cauley with attitude
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:53 pm
i look forward to the awkward written silences tomorrow.
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:54 pm
Heros? hmm not so sure. Never meet your imagination perhaps.
June 6th, 2008 @ 9:55 pm
yea,
u get what i mean though holey
June 6th, 2008 @ 10:00 pm
hell is other people wasn’t just a witty line by sex and the city writers.(they can’t write,or be witty)
distance makes a happy family
June 7th, 2008 @ 4:27 am
This affliction of the gooch is called ire in Cork.
June 7th, 2008 @ 8:35 am
Ire?? Like anger?
June 7th, 2008 @ 9:23 am
I thought it was called ire in lots of places.(if you google it you can see it’s a common word)
Everything went fairly well (as far as I’m concerned anyway), I abandoned aul monkey balls after another pint and then I got home and drank holiday booze with the house mates.Hence I’m still a bit dozy.
Anyway. In Dorans, when i went to the bathroom there was an attendant (you know the guys that have cologne/hand towels etc) and he was shouting on his phone in some african dialect.
He was roaring away as i was reading the grafitti, and there was a little patch written in pink saying “Tell the bathroom attendant to get off the phone and get me some toilet paper”.
it was much funnier at the time, I swear!
June 7th, 2008 @ 9:31 am
never meet your heroes.
if you turned up 20,u might aswell be phil cauley with attitude
you’re my hero lazlo. who’s phil cauley? You radio listening turtlehead.
June 7th, 2008 @ 1:16 pm
Morgor, Jo, you’re both up and at it early. Must the chizzlers jumping up and down having no regard for hangovers?
June 7th, 2008 @ 1:18 pm
I’m voting NO to Lisbon out of badness, just to see what happens.
June 7th, 2008 @ 2:09 pm
I’m going back to bed….
June 7th, 2008 @ 2:42 pm
I thought there would be a big love in here today after yis all meeting up last night. But only Jo and Morgor. Did everyone else explode like Holemaster said? Or did you all not like eachother?
June 7th, 2008 @ 2:59 pm
Morgor and I are definitely not ‘at it’, I will have you know, Holemaster ;)
Big love in? Explode? Em, it was much more normal than that, in a good way… no soap opera here, I’m afraid. Er – we’re all very nice? Though the others may bitch about me later, of course.
ONly problem is we didn’t all hook up til quite late and then the music was too loud to talk to – just the pub might have been better for conversation.
June 7th, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
yeah when you’re face to face in a regular bar there’s much less talk of powdered gooches to be honest.
June 7th, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
Nice and normal eh? Where’s MonkeyBalls when you need him. He’s good at distorting the truth.
June 7th, 2008 @ 3:49 pm
em ok we’ll juice up the story a bit then.
Jo brought us all upstairs wearing nothing but bottomless leather chaps and proceeded to finger the life out of monkeyballs and tinman.
I then mounted her husband while he played in his band in front of a large audience.
That’s the way it happened. fact.
June 7th, 2008 @ 3:58 pm
Eek and Yuk
June 7th, 2008 @ 4:11 pm
That’s a very good Monkey Balls impression Morgor but you left out the drunk and stoned bit.
June 7th, 2008 @ 4:16 pm
Jo brought us all upstairs wearing nothing but bottomless leather chaps and tassles and proceeded to finger the life out of monkeyballs and tinman who were both buzzing on a combination of ecstasy and crystal meth.
I drank a litre of absynth and then mounted her husband while he played in his band in front of a large audience of neo-nazis.
======================
better?
June 7th, 2008 @ 4:28 pm
Much!
Was the band good then?
June 7th, 2008 @ 5:00 pm
yeah there were two.
“My pet jeep” and “(the) Juice” (i think).
My pet jeep were sort of like the stereophonics, not quite sure how to classify Juice, but perhaps vaguely similar to old radiohead or something.
Jo, any chance of downloading their album anywhere?
June 7th, 2008 @ 5:43 pm
Oh me fuckin head!
June 7th, 2008 @ 5:44 pm
OH! Me fuckin’ ARSE!
June 7th, 2008 @ 5:50 pm
I had a good chat last night with two tramps at the Luas stop on Abbey Street. One of them was a bit cranky, and the other one tried to kiss me twice.
We smoked a couple of my ready-rolled joints, (I was the only smoker in our little gang in Eamon Doran’s, so I had loads left), And I told them the Duck Joke.
Sometime around 3:30 I slipped around the corner for a quick piss, and when I got back they were gone.
Abandoned, -By Tramps!! I must be getting worse.
June 7th, 2008 @ 5:51 pm
I should add that I’d already missed the last Luas.
June 7th, 2008 @ 5:51 pm
And now I have to go to work.
June 7th, 2008 @ 6:06 pm
Cheeky fucker, morgor :) You can buy it in Road Records for a tenner, or get a copy from me (also for a tenner).
June 7th, 2008 @ 6:08 pm
I await MorgorTheTightArse’s answer to that with baited breath.
June 7th, 2008 @ 6:16 pm
Hah, MB, abandoned by tramps is bad!
June 7th, 2008 @ 6:25 pm
i haven’t bought an album in years.
and i already have 90GB of music to listen to that i don’t know how I’ll ever get through.
hehe abandoned by tramps is funny, sounds like the title of a song.
June 7th, 2008 @ 6:33 pm
Hah, MB, abandoned by tramps is bad!
I want to hear Twenty’s side of the story before commenting Jo !
June 7th, 2008 @ 6:35 pm
Ah, morgor, you can’t pirate from poverty stricken, trying to get established friends!
I’ll see what I can do – but only if you play it in the house and spread the word.
June 7th, 2008 @ 6:39 pm
I’m late for work now, but I’ll post the full tramp story in the morning for y’all. It’s good.
June 7th, 2008 @ 7:53 pm
144 On June 7th, 2008 at 8:35 am Jo said:
Ire?? Like anger?
I suppose so. Like. “Oh fuck me crack is red raw again. Wheres the vaseline before I clock someone.
Or maybe its just Corkonian for raw nether regions brought on by lack of anal hygiene.
June 7th, 2008 @ 8:29 pm
Ha, noddy, I thought you were nonny at first, and that comment didn’t seem right at all
:)
June 7th, 2008 @ 8:40 pm
Nonny!.No way Jo. Strictly crumpet here.
Yer all right!
June 7th, 2008 @ 10:07 pm
so who was the most handsome of the group?i’m guessing morgor was a cross between golem and optimus prime.
June 7th, 2008 @ 11:31 pm
Blimey, my daughter and her boyfriend are now lodging in my spare room. But no problems ! I’m listening to King Kurt at full volume while they meet up with their local mates in this lovely city, in spite of the fact of their room being a sort of scrapheap of clutter and junk.
June 8th, 2008 @ 12:12 am
I’ll see what I can do – but only if you play it in the house and spread the word.
I’ll force people to listen to them and then hopefully they’ll go to gigs and the star of The Juice will be in the ascension.
i’m guessing morgor was a cross between golem and optimus prime.
more like a cross between van damme and ron jeremy.
June 8th, 2008 @ 2:11 am
he sounds like a good dancer
June 8th, 2008 @ 8:53 am
sorry this took so long , GOOCH in 20 majors post no. 3 , the body part referred to is called, THE HANDSEWN PART OF YOUR BALLOCKS
June 8th, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
Warning: Warning:
Don’t smoke a large spliff before going for an indian meal in a restaurant with one cubicle. Particularly when the cleaning staff are waiting outside for you to finish.
June 8th, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
If the Holemaster can’t handle it, what chance could a mere mortal have?
Thanks for the heads-up HM!
June 8th, 2008 @ 9:11 pm
I have been reading this for a few days now and still have no idea what the hell you are all on about. Is this a blog with the chance for some discussions or a dating site or some kind of private club?
June 8th, 2008 @ 10:17 pm
Ask questions and you’ll be answered Adonis.
Is this a blog with the chance for some discussions or a dating site or some kind of private club?
Yes, all three.
June 9th, 2008 @ 8:08 am
Heh heh heh, some kind of private club… we even have a monkey bitler…
June 9th, 2008 @ 8:09 am
Ah, shite, monkey butler.
June 9th, 2008 @ 8:39 am
Actually Adonis, you have multiple options.
You can respond to Twenty’s post in a variety of ways
1)tell him his puns are offensive
2)tell him his views are offensive
3)aggree wholeheartely and right-wingedly with his offensive views
4)respond with terrible jokes of your own.
5)Shout something hostile and incomprehensible
6)lecture at length about his wrongness and the wrongness of all the commenters in a holier than though way
Of course, you might not understand what the fuck he’s on about and not want to admit it, in which case you could
1)say something funny
2)respond to other posters, hopefully amusingly, thereby extending the comments to ridiculous lengths and earning Twenty more awards for his stupendous amounts of comments
3) say something depraved and icky – poo, paedophilia and all things sexual seem to be popular.
However, If you’ve been trying repeatedly to get what’s going on and you’re still asking bemused questions about not understanding it all, it may just be that this is not the blog for you…
June 9th, 2008 @ 8:40 am
I’m pretty sure Adonis knows exactly what’s going on.
June 9th, 2008 @ 8:41 am
Although that’s a nice guide for beginners
June 9th, 2008 @ 9:35 am
Jo excellent guide on what to do on Twenty’s site..but only if you are brave enough.
June 9th, 2008 @ 11:14 am
Troo – I never said it wasn’t scary!
June 9th, 2008 @ 10:00 pm
Thanks for the info Jo and co. Ah, not really that scary here. Have read or heard worse. Will keep reading until I get up to speed with ye all.
Cheers…
June 9th, 2008 @ 10:13 pm
A joke for you all..
Guy walks into a bar and sits down.
The bar is empty except for the barman.
Guy orders a pint and the barman puts it down and goes back to shining his glasses.
All of a sudden the guy hears a voice saying “That suit you are wearing is really classy”
Guy looks around and sees nobody and shrugs it off.
All of a sudden he hears the same voice saying “In fact, that shirt you are wearing really matches your suit. You have really good taste”.
Guy asks the barman if he said something and the barman says no.
Guy says he must be hearing voices and the barman says ” Dont worry, its the peanuts, they are complementary
Boom-Boom!
June 10th, 2008 @ 12:13 am
Ahaha, funny one :)