Lucky strikes out, huh? Maybe he should change his name to Lucky Pavarotti? You Irish! & here I was thinking you spent all your time drinking pints of Guinness and river-dancing…
WOW, amazing stuff, “hitmanforhire” is brilliant.
What an idiot.. “Right, I’ll be back here tomorrow for my €100K to stop me from killing all three of you ok? “Right oh Mr Luciano, see you then so”.
He was told to make the deaths look accidental or from ‘natural causes’.
How do you arrange for a man in his 50′s & his two sons in their 20′s to all die at the same time and have the Guards believe they died of natural causes?
Also, why did he steal the poster of the old Irish money?
Also also, there was no point in calling himself Luciano if he didn’t do Lucky’s not-at-all-stereotypical accent -
“Give-a me-a the money or I blow-a offa the head.”"
Also also also, wouldn’t it make crimefighting easier if all criminals had e-mail addressses like his?
“Oh shit, someone’s robbed 28m from the Northern Bank, Batman.”
“Don’t worry Commissioner Gordon, I have traced them to werobbedthenorthernbank.com.”
I once knew a bloke who committed murder for money. He was thick as fuck and when it came on the news that he had been arrested in Tenerife me and my mates laughed our arses off. He had the last laugh though because despite having the IQ of a stone and the temperement of a rabid wolverine he escaped from prison. I still wonder if he realised that Tenerife was an island though.
Just a ponce walking past with an A&Fitch pink shirt, stupid hair and those jeans that come down around the toe of those fuckin runners, you those runners.
Tinman – The cunning plan is explained in another section of the same newspaper as follows:-
Lyingeyes suggested that the two boys could meet with an accident in a car or on a boat and it was then agreed that they would be poisoned in their local pub in Kilkee, Co Clare, where they had a holiday home.
Mr O’Connell said it was arranged that Mr Howard would be killed shortly after receiving the news of his son’s death by pushing him off the roof of the apartment he owned in Malaga in a simulated suicide.
Sheer Genius – How did they not manage to pull it off
It’s funny how this blog goes quiet during lunch and gets busy when everyone is else working.
and goes quiet about 4 on a friday when all the alco cunts fuck off to the pub. Cunts.
No I’m not bitter cause I’m still in the office and will be for another 2 hours, not bitter at all. Cunts
I am NOT going to the pub soon Peadar.i am in the office until 5 and then i have to buy hair brush for my cats because they are molting like a bastard at the moment…
I will be going to the pub later on though (in case ye were wondering) (i am not gay)
I once spent the night in the same bed as 6 female nurses. (Yes, 7 of us in the one double-bed.)
Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. Zilch! -And it wasn’t for the lack of trying either. I was warned that if I didn’t keep me hands to meself I was getting kicked out of the bed, and it was MY bed!
I was going to post something witty, insightful and delightfully sarcastic until I realised that nothing happens around here at the weekends. I’ll keep it for another time.
See yiz on Monday.
That woman needs a makeover and fast. They’ll kill her on the inside for such poor foundation applying technique. She’ll be marked from the get-go as a cold-blooded style-killer and there are some things even the most hardened prisoners cannot stomach.
Gotta admit though, the proxy marriage thing is very interesting – especially if it doesn’t require both parties’ consent. Ah, hello my new husband billionaire Donald Trump, you don’t know me but a funny thing happened in Mexico…
If anyone’s interested, the Eurovision’s just started & the one from last year looks ready for her starring role in the new movie “Harry Potter and the Mountain of Pies”
I like the mad Bosnian ones with the 4 in the wedding dresses, and also the Ukraine, because their song was a poignant tale of love and..not really, it’s coz I’m a bloke and she was gorgeous.
The Norwegian song is great, but it amazed me that they took a lovely blonde girl and then, by putting 3 taller, slimmer, blonder girls behind her, managed to make her look dumpy.
Can’t see the interval act being as successful as Riverdance, by the way.
Thanks everyone who voted for the Latvian song about Piracy. If I was in any way interested in Eurovision I would’ve voted for that meself.
I didn’t listen to any of the other entrants: Out of respect for me buccaneers.
Sorry Tinman – but being a crap typist is not the same as apostrophe crimes… spread the word! (Typershark is on my Christmas list).
12 votes! I hope to god they were comedy votes – what else could they have been. Shudder.
So did the Portugese win? Which one was that, the lady in the big black dress?
The Russians won. Europe clearly likes the power-ballad. And UK did crap. Interesting to see that the Big 4 (France, UK, Germany and Spain) who automatically qualify because they fund it, did really really badly. I liked France though. And the pirates.
I’m sure the Eurovision was wonderful, as always, but I couldn’t bring myself to watch it. Not after that opening song, sung by Jimmy Krankie and a bunch of lesbians.
I suddenly got this uncontrolable urge to turn the telly off and Google ‘Dwarf Sex’.
OK, I admit it.
I watched it.
The whole lot.
It was embarassingly crap.
I thought Bosnia/Herzegovina were good in a ‘so-crap-it’s-good’ kinda way, but then the Latvian Pirates came on and stole my heart.
Pirates, who can resist them? They’re just so cuddly.
Shame they didn’t actually mention BitTorrent by name, but I knew what they meant.
Life imitating art.
Or, in this case, rag imitating blog.
The levels of Stupidity involved in this case beggar belief.
I agree with Dessie- The only ones who don’t come across as completely thick are the two sons.
-Doesn’t mean they aren’t though.
The levels of Stupidity involved in this case beggar belief.
Absolutely. She is one stupid, stupid bitch.
Lucky strikes out, huh? Maybe he should change his name to Lucky Pavarotti? You Irish! & here I was thinking you spent all your time drinking pints of Guinness and river-dancing…
WOW, amazing stuff, “hitmanforhire” is brilliant.
What an idiot.. “Right, I’ll be back here tomorrow for my €100K to stop me from killing all three of you ok? “Right oh Mr Luciano, see you then so”.
It’s funny how this blog goes quiet during lunch and gets busy when everyone is else working.
That woman has a very orange face
That woman has a very orange face
sectarian stereotyping!
A face crying out for a fucking good slap.
Yer man Eid sounds like a prize fuckwit too
What a fuckin’ Egypt.
I reckon there’s the makings of a good Cohen Brothers style black farce flick out of this story
Oh there so is. Javier Bar Deli and Nell McCafferty must star.
does her face look like it is moulded from cheese or something?
He was told to make the deaths look accidental or from ‘natural causes’.
How do you arrange for a man in his 50′s & his two sons in their 20′s to all die at the same time and have the Guards believe they died of natural causes?
Also, why did he steal the poster of the old Irish money?
Also also, there was no point in calling himself Luciano if he didn’t do Lucky’s not-at-all-stereotypical accent -
“Give-a me-a the money or I blow-a offa the head.”"
Also also also, wouldn’t it make crimefighting easier if all criminals had e-mail addressses like his?
“Oh shit, someone’s robbed 28m from the Northern Bank, Batman.”
“Don’t worry Commissioner Gordon, I have traced them to werobbedthenorthernbank.com.”
“Holy websites,Batman!”
“Shut up, Robin, you’re an idiot.”
heh.. moulded from cheese.
What is it that is making Irish people think they live in films?
Since when has it become a feasible thing to do to hire a hitman?
All the gangster stuff.. I just don’t get how it’s becoming normal and real to the people doing it.
I often log on to alrightbudlookinforhashorcoke?.ie
In fairness, the silly bint was probably inspired by Catherine Nevin, even looks a bit like her, eerily.
There’s all sorts of idiots that still think films are real.
Lotsa old women used to think soaps were real too.
Then there was the batch of old bachelors from round here that I remember thinking Babe was real.
Babe is real, i met him.
then i ate him. very much a real pig
A real sheep-pig, you mean.
I once knew a bloke who committed murder for money. He was thick as fuck and when it came on the news that he had been arrested in Tenerife me and my mates laughed our arses off. He had the last laugh though because despite having the IQ of a stone and the temperement of a rabid wolverine he escaped from prison. I still wonder if he realised that Tenerife was an island though.
Just a ponce walking past with an A&Fitch pink shirt, stupid hair and those jeans that come down around the toe of those fuckin runners, you those runners.
He was about 45.
Tinman – The cunning plan is explained in another section of the same newspaper as follows:-
Lyingeyes suggested that the two boys could meet with an accident in a car or on a boat and it was then agreed that they would be poisoned in their local pub in Kilkee, Co Clare, where they had a holiday home.
Mr O’Connell said it was arranged that Mr Howard would be killed shortly after receiving the news of his son’s death by pushing him off the roof of the apartment he owned in Malaga in a simulated suicide.
Sheer Genius – How did they not manage to pull it off
Oh that’s good. If only….. well obviously not.
It’s funny how this blog goes quiet during lunch and gets busy when everyone is else working.
and goes quiet about 4 on a friday when all the alco cunts fuck off to the pub. Cunts.
No I’m not bitter cause I’m still in the office and will be for another 2 hours, not bitter at all. Cunts
I’m off home to paint my wife orange
Fuck it – I’m off to the pub to plot the perfect murder
I’ll be off to the pub soon, nice south facing beer garden and lovely girls to talk to.
cunts!
I too am leaving for the pub, have fun at work Peader
I am NOT going to the pub soon Peadar.i am in the office until 5 and then i have to buy hair brush for my cats because they are molting like a bastard at the moment…
I will be going to the pub later on though (in case ye were wondering) (i am not gay)
I’ll be having beer before wine.
Just e-mailing from the pub here, wow what a balmy day. All the girls from the nursing college across the road say hi.
Hey Peader, listen carefully, hear that sound?
That’s the sound of carefree young women, laughing, having a drink and feeling sexy in the evening sun while I tell them killer jokes.
Fuck the cats im off to the pub……….
“Fuck the cats im off to the pub……….”
Come on over here organdonor, there’s too many women here, even for me.
Fucking cunts, I’m logging off.
Unless Jo wants to talk about nipples?
No, ok I’m switching off
“oh girls, stop that now, you’re all too excited on the Bulmers, no no that’s not it that’s my mobile phone bulge, oh ah ha you nurses!”
Nurses Holemaster! And they can’t find your dick?
That must be embarassing.
CAreful. If they’re really nurses they’ve been trained to hit it with a spoon.
I once spent the night in the same bed as 6 female nurses. (Yes, 7 of us in the one double-bed.)
Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. Zilch! -And it wasn’t for the lack of trying either. I was warned that if I didn’t keep me hands to meself I was getting kicked out of the bed, and it was MY bed!
Biggest let-down of my entire life.
MB MALE nurses ?
Whoops, you said female. 1000 pardons
Keep yer 1000 pardons Alan.
No offence, but 6 sympathy-fucks is about the only thing that could console me right now.
Or an Iceberger?
I was going to post something witty, insightful and delightfully sarcastic until I realised that nothing happens around here at the weekends. I’ll keep it for another time.
See yiz on Monday.
does Lucky ever buy a round of drinks in Rons ? He seems to be a big earner …
That woman needs a makeover and fast. They’ll kill her on the inside for such poor foundation applying technique. She’ll be marked from the get-go as a cold-blooded style-killer and there are some things even the most hardened prisoners cannot stomach.
PCB – agreed. She looks a bit like Catherine Nevin. Is she still in prison? If so they will probably get together and be ugly orange dykes. *shudder*
Apparently I am distantly related to Catherine Nevin. Then again, maybe most of us are.
Very hungover today.
Gotta admit though, the proxy marriage thing is very interesting – especially if it doesn’t require both parties’ consent. Ah, hello my new husband billionaire Donald Trump, you don’t know me but a funny thing happened in Mexico…
Oh and by the way, I am suing you for polygamy.
Holemaster that’s rough. Are you actually related or is it seven degrees of separation?
If anyone’s interested, the Eurovision’s just started & the one from last year looks ready for her starring role in the new movie “Harry Potter and the Mountain of Pies”
Oh, Tinamn, are you watching the Lstvian pirate song? Sweet mother of god!!
I know – as soon as it started, I thought, this is bloody well gonna win
Ah God love the Georgian woman, I think she’s blind..
and so is her costume designer..
She was shit – good tragic background, but she’s not very good.
So who are you going for? The good and evil guys gave good drama – the norwegian song was pretty normal, quite good, as eurosongs go.
I like the mad Bosnian ones with the 4 in the wedding dresses, and also the Ukraine, because their song was a poignant tale of love and..not really, it’s coz I’m a bloke and she was gorgeous.
The Norwegian song is great, but it amazed me that they took a lovely blonde girl and then, by putting 3 taller, slimmer, blonder girls behind her, managed to make her look dumpy.
Can’t see the interval act being as successful as Riverdance, by the way.
Russia? If you’re man was on ice skates how did the other 2 stay standing?
And, by the way, it’s the tune of ‘Wild World’ by Cat Stevens
Its a fucking scandal , Latvia should have won. The Portugese feilded a beach ball with legs
Apostrophe amnesty: drop gratuitous apostrophes in the box here, no questions asked.
I know, I know, You’re instead of your…sorry…
Because I’m a gentleman I won’t mention Tinamn and Lstvian in comment no 56 ;)
Did ya see we gave 12 to the feckin’ pirates, Jo. As if we hadn’t proven enough on Tuesday that we have absolutely no taste.
Dana would be spinning in her grave, if only she were dead…
JAYSUS PEADER – THE JANITORIAL JOB GETTING TO YE?
Thanks everyone who voted for the Latvian song about Piracy. If I was in any way interested in Eurovision I would’ve voted for that meself.
I didn’t listen to any of the other entrants: Out of respect for me buccaneers.
Sorry Tinman – but being a crap typist is not the same as apostrophe crimes… spread the word! (Typershark is on my Christmas list).
12 votes! I hope to god they were comedy votes – what else could they have been. Shudder.
So did the Portugese win? Which one was that, the lady in the big black dress?
The Russians won. Europe clearly likes the power-ballad. And UK did crap. Interesting to see that the Big 4 (France, UK, Germany and Spain) who automatically qualify because they fund it, did really really badly. I liked France though. And the pirates.
France and the pirates? Terrifying. Just terrifying!
Why did the French ‘singer’, with his ankle length trousers (chinos?) and knife like creases, have a beach ball cradled under his arm?
I’m sure the Eurovision was wonderful, as always, but I couldn’t bring myself to watch it. Not after that opening song, sung by Jimmy Krankie and a bunch of lesbians.
I suddenly got this uncontrolable urge to turn the telly off and Google ‘Dwarf Sex’.
I thought the beach ball was a helium balloon and I hoped that at some stage he’d suck out of it and then sing in a totally different voice.
Please feel free to use this idea next year, RTE. God knows we need something.
OK, I admit it.
I watched it.
The whole lot.
It was embarassingly crap.
I thought Bosnia/Herzegovina were good in a ‘so-crap-it’s-good’ kinda way, but then the Latvian Pirates came on and stole my heart.
Pirates, who can resist them? They’re just so cuddly.
Shame they didn’t actually mention BitTorrent by name, but I knew what they meant.
Pirates, who can resist them? They’re just so cuddly.
Yaaarrrrhhhh! Let’s have another talk like a Pirate week to please Twenty!
Those crazy Europeans are crazy, that’s the whole point. Abandon logic and good taste and that’s where the fun lies!