Brian Cowen, disgrace to the nation
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on May 22nd, 2008
May I this morning call on everyone with a modicum of manners, self-awareness and the ability to please think of the children to join me in outright condemnation of Taoiseach Brian Cowen.
He sullied our great nation yesterday. He couldn’t keep his fat mouth shut, could he? Already humiliated by the performance of a Turkey, who looked shamefully inept compared to the quality entries of other countries, we now have the leader of our country, the man to whom we should look for guidance and counsel in our own lives, swearing like a common sailor in the hallowed chambers of our government.
Frankly it’s just not good enough. We Irish are known for our ‘gift of the gab’, our ability hold court and to speak with intelligence, wit and a certain swagger. Look at our great orators down through the years. Daniel O’Connell, Wolfe Tone, Michael Collins or Eamonn Andrews. None of them had to resort to the kind of childish crudity Cowen did yesterday.
It shows a shocking lack of imagination that he had to use that word, that word which our mothers brought us up to shun and eschew, when there were so many others he could have used.
‘Those eejits’, he might have said. ‘Those gombeens’, ‘Those flippers’, ‘those lily-livered bandicoots’, ‘those bashi-bazouks!’.
The list is endless. A man with real substance would never have uttered the phrase that Cowen did yesterday and it’s a bad sign for Ireland. That such paucity of thought and tongue could emerge in Dail Eireann, a place where integrity, honesty and honour are paramount, is a shame not just to Brian Cowen but to all the people of Ireland who are represented by this foul-mouthed picaroon.
Language, and slightly less hairy backs, is what separates us from the apes. I suspect that if you put a thousand apes in a room with a thousand typewriters soon one of them would write the works of Shakespeare, except it would be absolutely filthy because apes are like that. They use profanities like they’re amusing in some way, like it’s big or clever to call somebody a name.
This morning I am truly saddened that our once great country has sunk so low. As a blogger I know I have a certain responsibility. I know I have to stand up and be counted, for what good is any of this unless we use it to try and make a difference? It would be entirely remiss of me to stand idly by and not highlight the dreadful coarseness that we were innocently subjected to.
How many children this morning will be going around saying ‘effing this’ and ‘eff those effers up their effin’ Cs’?. The answer, my friends, is too many.
You have let us down Taoiseach, I’m sure people will give you the chance to try and repair the damage but don’t let it happen again. You owe us that much.
You owe us that much.
It was great entertainment. Gwan BIFFO!
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:49 am
I agree he should have crowbarred Cunt in there as well.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:53 am
1
I think it’s totally appalling that a member of or Government should feel the need to give a world a soundbite like that. No member of the Dail should lower themselves to these basest of levels, especially the man that is to run our country. But it just goes to show. Cowen is a stupid cunt *grin*
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:55 am
2
Newstalk reckoned his popularity went up, so now he has a legitimate reason to stand in the Dail and call Mary Harney a “fucking useless cock sucking tub of lard”
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:00 am
3
I-for one- almost fainted when I heard, at the very least I almost swerved of the road.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:12 am
4
Cowan is starting to really turn me on.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:17 am
5
Eeeew.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:24 am
6
YOU HAVE EXACTLY THE LEADERS WHO REFLECT YOUR OWN LACK OF INTELLIGENCE - AND YOU STILL FIND IF FUNNY. YUK IT OUP WHILE YOU CAN,THERES SOME HARD TIMES COMING.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:43 am
7
Fuck off, cuntchops.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:44 am
8
“Cuntchops”
heh
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:47 am
9
We shall never forsake the blue skies of Ulster for the grey mists {and profane Taoiseach} of an Irish Republic !
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:47 am
10
Where’s Twenty gone?
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:11 am
11
He’s chained himself to the railings outside the Dail with a big sign saying “Bring Back Bertie” !
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:13 am
12
Ach, we’re a nation of hypocrites. We want a man of the people as Taoiseach, it seems, as long as he’s not a man of the real people.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:21 am
13
Unless of course Twenty is Cowen.
Think about it - wanting ahern gone, a love of profanity, something else which backs up the argument.
It all makes sense.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:23 am
14
Couldn’t agree more. To quote again what you said above so eloquently (with a correction of the obvious typo which understandably slipped through because of your righteous indignation):
“This morning I am truly saddened that our once great cuntry has sunk so low.”
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:29 am
15
If Twenty is Brian Cowen, then maybe Brian was Brain Cowen as well - a man confronting his inner demons in public via the internet.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:45 am
16
Ah, shite..
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:45 am
17
I’d advise you all to stop your slanderous accusations at once. You fuckers.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:49 am
18
Ah no Tinman. Why?
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:49 am
19
Interesting Twenty Cowen, very interesting.
Still smoking in the Dail bar?
Still profaning in government buildings?
Still not admitting the truth?
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:51 am
20
It’s OK, RN, I just spelled Brian as Brain… too busy getting the italics right.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:51 am
21
Blogging Ignorant Fucker From Oldcabraroad…
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:53 am
22
Twenty - Now is the time to rock this rotten government to it’s foundations by announcing that as from today you are on a
beer-strike to the death. And obviously stand for the Dail.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:56 am
23
I now a few lads from Offaly who are staunch Fianna Fail and major Cowen supporters. They are as racist and sexist as they come. That my friends is the future if Cowen stays the course. We are heading for a one party state in rapid time.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:06 am
24
They are also funny bastards
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:07 am
25
The Sexist and Racist party?
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:10 am
26
Unlike Brian Cowen, Twenty would make a Handsome Taoiseach. But would that be good for the country? It’s never happened before.
Also, I’m not so sure you’d really appreciate the reign (rain?) of death he’d embark upon as soon as he’d recoveredfrom his inauguration party.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:10 am
27
Heh heh, that Gluaistean (#8) is a complete mental case. I like mentallers.
Hey, Gluaistean, any more amusing mental thoughts for us?
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:11 am
28
“Heh heh, that Gluaistean (#8) is a complete mental case. I like mentallers.
Hey, Gluaistean, any more amusing mental thoughts for us?”
And if you do, could you put them in block capital so that I can really enjoy and appreciate the force of your mentalist ire? Ktanxbye
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:17 am
29
Rob’s blog is funny today. http://www.allegedcomedian.blogspot.com/
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:18 am
30
Ye Glueface is a mentaler alright. He pops up evey now again to tell us how stupid we all are and how great he is.
I think he has moved abroad because he was too great for our stupid nation.
I remember one day he came on and said he was about to sit down to a lovely steak meal that we were all to thick and poor to appreciate.
A complete looper.
I’d love to slap him around with a hurl
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:23 am
31
Could Gluestain be Brian Cowen ?
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:25 am
32
No way. Cowen is ok
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:29 am
33
Well Cowen talks in capitals the way Gluestain writes. I’m worried, though, that you never see Twenty and Cowen together in public…
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:30 am
34
… although you never see Twenty and Twink together in public either, so perhaps that’s not a great argument
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:31 am
35
Twinky Major, still zipping up his mickey in Dublin bars…
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:31 am
36
imagine brian cowan and the president of the gambia were swapped using some mind-person swapping machine.
this is the latest insight from the leader who claims he can cure HIV AIDS in 3 to 30 days using a mixture of 6 plants rubbed into the skin around the ribs followed by drinking a smelly, yellow drink and eating two bananas:
http://www.gambianow.com/news/News/Gambia-News-President-Jammeh-Gives-Ultimatum-for-Homosexuals-to-
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:32 am
37
And what does the president of gambia say, oh dear?
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:36 am
38
So Brian Cowen said a rude word. But has he been accepting “handouts” from his friends? give the man a chance to fuck up properly before jumping all over him. He is a Biffo so its only a matter of time.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:42 am
39
Mad bastard! He has the aids cure and he’s only telling the rest of the world now. What a cunt
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 am
40
Albert Reynolds said “crap”, didn’t he. Now Biffo says “fuckers”. And Eamon-Green-Minister-for-Broadcasting-etc wants to introduce fines for swearing, which would mean that if future swearing Taoisigh were broadcast the broadcasters would be fined.
I see a fiendish plot - all Biffo has to do after the new Broadcasting Bill is through is swear every second word in a Dail speech, as in “I fucken hereby cocksuckingly declare motherfucking myself bollocks dictator cunting in pussylicking perpetuity” and the broadcast media won’t be able to play it. Shame, go for it Brian.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 am
41
The reason he took so long over the aids cure was he was dithering about taking the envelope……
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:51 am
42
Eamonn Ryan wants to fine broadcasters for swearing? Dear God. That puts me right off him. That’s what happens when we put handsome men in the Dáil. How awful!
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:54 am
43
I’m Brian and so is my wife.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:54 am
44
Eamon Ryan? Handsome?
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:55 am
45
Have a look at Green Ink’s site, Jo (I can’t do links) and see if you still think that.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:06 pm
46
Not only am I in favour of swearing in the Dail, but fistfights too.
Whoever proposed the swearing fine probably deserves a shoeing, the little gickerlicker
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:48 pm
47
A heartfelt plea, Twenty. But know that there are few words more filthy and which show such contempt as the word flipper. I blush to use it here.
As for that other word “that word which our mothers brought us up to shun and eschew”
My mother taught me to eschew that word with my mouth-closed and woe-betide me if I didn’t. I would be beaten and likened to willy-dribble and then made to stand in the corner and recite “I will not say fuckers” for the rest of the day.
But these days? There’s no decency these days. No effin’ decency at all. Ireland’s brought low this day.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:00 pm
48
The Spanish ? Now they have an action packed parliament.
Antonio Tejero, where are you now ?
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:10 pm
49
wow, gambia sounds like a nice place to be.
very logical i’d say.
How long til the next massacre there do you think?
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
50
Building on Giver’s idea , it would be funnier to have wrestling in the centre of the Dail although Brian and Enda in spandex would not be for the fainthearted.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
51
I’d pay good money to see Mary Harney in a Black Leather corset, stilettos and fishnet tights beating Cowen with a whip!
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
52
just type “fight parliament” into youtube and see how it should be done. bolivia and taiwan seem to be best.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:29 pm
53
Enda wouldn’t stand a chance against Cowen in a wrestling match. Biffo would flatten him. Could anyone in the house take him?
Harney would probably give him a good fight but I still think Cowen would come out on top
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:32 pm
54
Cowen on top of Harney - a disturbing image
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
55
Jesus, maggot, I’ve got that image stuck in my head now
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
56
Here’s something to shift it Tinman - Harney and Roseanne Barr naked mudwrestling.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:35 pm
57
lovely
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:38 pm
58
In Russia a political meeting with Gary Kasparov was interrupted by a flying penis, a thing like a mini-helicopter but in the shape of a knob.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbnySBqioB0
Sorry, still can’t do links
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:39 pm
59
maggot, you are one warped motherfucker.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:40 pm
60
Oh, wow, did one without meaning to.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:40 pm
61
Fuckers…
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:46 pm
62
Way to go Tinman!
Amazing what you can find on YouTube by typing ‘Russian Cock’ in the search box!
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
63
Actually, I typed ‘Russian Flying Cock’…
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
64
Mary Harney using Willie O’Dea as a dildo.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
65
“What, Mary Harney is dead?”
“Yeah, apparently she OD’ed on Willie”
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
66
I am surprisingly quiet on this thread today
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
67
me too.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
68
Getcher fingers out lads! I’m not doing this on me own. I have me own blog to look after y’know?
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
69
Do liven up your afternoon…
Volia..
http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/allcaps.htm
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
70
how’s the wanky shit slinging going MB?
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
71
these posts are too long.. I need short funny posts, and lots of them.. I’m MTV generation it seems - even though we only had RTE…
WE ARE NOT your publishers, we are not impressed with word count!!
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
72
I always see ‘Donate’ buttons on websites (Maria’s link).
Are they serious? What am I supposed to think? - “oh, that was amusing, here’s a tenner”.
Or a twenty?
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
73
Pavarotti left all his clothes to Mary Harney in his will.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
74
I’m off to the loo, anyone wanna guess the colour and substance?
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
75
loose and beige
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
76
Maggot, have a look at Netiquette Nazi in Maria’s link, she looks right up your street
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
77
HM, I’d say it’s white and made of porcelain - my loo is anyway…
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
78
Holemaster, stick me down for a tenner on a pale brown floater.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:06 pm
79
greeny brown & moist
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:07 pm
80
I’m sitting at my desk eating a packet of chocolate peanuts, so could you please all fuck off with your poo guesses? Thanks
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
81
Holemaster, to make this easier tell us what you’ve eaten (or drank) in the last 24 hours
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
82
Tinman, is it a big packet? Do you chew them properly? If your answers are ‘Yes’ and ‘No’, stick me down for a very liquidy squirter with lots of small floaty bits.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
83
Holemaster, you’re a very long time in there.
Are you having trouble flushing it away?
Did I win?
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
84
The answers are ‘yes’ and ‘I tend to eat about six at one go’, so I’m thinking pebble dash - oh, shag off, now I’m at it..
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
85
Right, well, I suppose you could say it was a two act play.
Having being very busy so far today, I was suppressing the urge so to speak for a few hours, hence the next bus came along and something had to give.
Act 1:
Dark brown, the consistency not unlike a toffee crisp held under arm pit for about 10 minutes. Not quite a clean finish, left the feeling of more to come, the door ajar I suppose you could say.
Act 2:
Sure enough, the next bus came along rather more rushed. More purpose to this one, not the lazy blasé style of the last. Firm, unambiguous, like a good hand shake.
There you are.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:33 pm
86
We all lost our money. Holemaster, are you really that chick off The Real Hustle scamming us with poo con tricks?
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:40 pm
87
Holemaster, you can fuckin’ whistle for your tenner. I’m not giving it to you without photographic evidence.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
88
Extremely descriptive and informative Holemaster, well done. I’m sure even Tinman enjoyed it
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
89
Trust me Peadar, I didn’t, though I did admire it
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
90
I’ll donate the moneys received to charity, promise.
Oops, Act 3 just went off.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
91
What is it about men and talking about their shit? It’s so creepy. I’m scared to think what the flow comparisons would be like if you menstruate.
I read a disturbing fact about Hitler - he was a coprophiliac, and could only get off by lying under a glass table with a woman squatting above him, taking a shit.
Not so healthy. Or perhaps you’d disagree?
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
92
I read a disturbing fact about Hitler - he was a coprophiliac, and could only get off by lying under a glass table with a woman squatting above him, taking a shit.
So that’s where maggot gets it from.
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:56 pm
93
“coprophiliac”
I’m a cop-a-feel-iac
May 22nd, 2008 at 3:59 pm
94
Well it took as many as 76 comments for this thread to turn to shit (literally). That’s up from recent threads. It’s all getting a bit highbrow around here.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
95
I read a disturbing fact about Hitler - he was a coprophiliac, and could only get off by lying under a glass table with a woman squatting above him, taking a shit.
How do you find out that that’s what turns you on? Do you just try it & half way through go “no, sorry, gross”? How could you look a woman in the eye after that (don’t say it, maggot).
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
96
Some people hoard their work in plastic bags and can’t let them go, same with hair or nail clippings. Don’t know what the condition is called though.
You are right Jo, it is odd, this talk of turd.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
97
I believe that may not be the only disturbing fact about Hitler
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:07 pm
98
What is it called when you like doggy style with a woman wearing a duffle coat with the hood up and fake ears and tail pinned on?
Not that I, you know, just wondering…
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:09 pm
99
Depends which one is wearing the duffle coat, SG. One is called kinky sex, and the other is, oh, also kinky sex
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
100
Ah hah hah
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
101
Getting back to Brian Cowen.. I’d say he plants a sturdy one in the Armitage.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:16 pm
102
You’re a furry, Supergrover. I think it can get more sophisticated than duffle coats - and god bless your innocence, ‘pinned on’:http://www.extremerestraints.com/fox-tail-anal-plug_371.html
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:28 pm
103
Germans are well known for their love of combining sex and faeces. They also produce the most manky porn in the world.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:28 pm
104
I generally try to avoid sweeping generalisations but I can assure you that Germans are generally filthy fuckers (literally)
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
105
whoops, messed up the link: you might not want to access this site in work, though the pic’s ok
http://www.extremerestraints.com/fox-tail-anal-plug_371.html
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
106
Yeah, might skip that one Jo. But you could describe it…
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
107
I’d say they have to send a Miner Bird in there after him before anyone else can use the loo ..
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
108
Jesus Jo, are you the ultimate desperate Housewife…
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
109
Fuck I have just been reported to the web police. Anyone got a job?
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:38 pm
110
Nah, I just read a lot.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
111
Jo, if you get a chance, could you find me a monkey-tail, and maybe some red arse-paint?
Cheers!
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
112
I did have to do a search for it, I didn’t have it bookmarked or anything :)
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
113
Heh, isn’t there a band called the Red House Painters? The Red Arse Painters sound more entertaining.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
114
Miner bird… I corrected a kid’s story recently with a Macaw in it, but he spelt it ‘McAugh’. I thought that was cute.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:43 pm
115
Yeah Jo, we’ll overlook the fact that you kinda need to know what you’re looking for.
Did you notice that the bunny-tail was sold out? I was disappointed with that meself, until I discovered that a loo-brush does exactly the same job for about one-tenth of the price.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
116
PP, are yo serious? Hello PP’s boss. Your a cunt. SAck him, he’s a dosser. And I seem to rememeber him using the word flipper at least once…
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
117
Did anybody else get the yellow slippery floor warning photo yet, with john Terry on it? Maggot and the boys are quick off the mark today… suppose they had no natural disaster/political scandal to deal with..
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:48 pm
118
“Miner bird… I corrected a kid’s story recently with a Macaw in it, but he spelt it ‘McAugh’. I thought that was cute.”
Mc Awwww
You must be a pretty cool teacher Jo.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
119
until I discovered that a loo-brush does exactly the same job for about one-tenth of the price.
Aw, loo-brush, Jesus!
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
120
Hahahahahaha…
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:51 pm
121
What, Jo? Brings a tear to your eye, does it?
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:51 pm
122
MB, I see they are bringing out some game or other on the WEE, with your name on it, are you getting paid??
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:55 pm
123
Fuckin’ right I am. Where do they live?
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:56 pm
124
Fuck I have just been reported to the web police. Anyone got a job?
I hear the web police are looking for people.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:56 pm
125
ha
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
126
You’re a traditionalist, Twenty.
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
127
SEGA of Japan
1-2-12 Haneda
Ohta-ku
Tokyo 144-8531
Japan
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
128
Sega Make Super Monkey Ball..
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
129
PP, me and a mate are setting up a Gambling/Dating/Porn site soon. We have it sussed, but are on the look-out for blokes who can type in a foreign accent and sound like a bird. Interested?
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:02 pm
130
Whats it gonna be called
“Bet you have to pay for sex.com”?
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:04 pm
131
i tpye lkei a bird,
Big Bird…
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:05 pm
132
Senor Balls, you can counting me in, big boy
May 22nd, 2008 at 5:05 pm
133