May I this morning call on everyone with a modicum of manners, self-awareness and the ability to please think of the children to join me in outright condemnation of Taoiseach Brian Cowen.
He sullied our great nation yesterday. He couldn’t keep his fat mouth shut, could he? Already humiliated by the performance of a Turkey, who looked shamefully inept compared to the quality entries of other countries, we now have the leader of our country, the man to whom we should look for guidance and counsel in our own lives, swearing like a common sailor in the hallowed chambers of our government.
Frankly it’s just not good enough. We Irish are known for our ‘gift of the gab’, our ability hold court and to speak with intelligence, wit and a certain swagger. Look at our great orators down through the years. Daniel O’Connell, Wolfe Tone, Michael Collins or Eamonn Andrews. None of them had to resort to the kind of childish crudity Cowen did yesterday.
It shows a shocking lack of imagination that he had to use that word, that word which our mothers brought us up to shun and eschew, when there were so many others he could have used.
‘Those eejits’, he might have said. ‘Those gombeens’, ‘Those flippers’, ‘those lily-livered bandicoots’, ‘those bashi-bazouks!’.
The list is endless. A man with real substance would never have uttered the phrase that Cowen did yesterday and it’s a bad sign for Ireland. That such paucity of thought and tongue could emerge in Dail Eireann, a place where integrity, honesty and honour are paramount, is a shame not just to Brian Cowen but to all the people of Ireland who are represented by this foul-mouthed picaroon.
Language, and slightly less hairy backs, is what separates us from the apes. I suspect that if you put a thousand apes in a room with a thousand typewriters soon one of them would write the works of Shakespeare, except it would be absolutely filthy because apes are like that. They use profanities like they’re amusing in some way, like it’s big or clever to call somebody a name.
This morning I am truly saddened that our once great country has sunk so low. As a blogger I know I have a certain responsibility. I know I have to stand up and be counted, for what good is any of this unless we use it to try and make a difference? It would be entirely remiss of me to stand idly by and not highlight the dreadful coarseness that we were innocently subjected to.
How many children this morning will be going around saying ‘effing this’ and ‘eff those effers up their effin’ Cs’?. The answer, my friends, is too many.
You have let us down Taoiseach, I’m sure people will give you the chance to try and repair the damage but don’t let it happen again. You owe us that much.
You owe us that much.
It was great entertainment. Gwan BIFFO!
I agree he should have crowbarred Cunt in there as well.
I think it’s totally appalling that a member of or Government should feel the need to give a world a soundbite like that. No member of the Dail should lower themselves to these basest of levels, especially the man that is to run our country. But it just goes to show. Cowen is a stupid cunt *grin*
Newstalk reckoned his popularity went up, so now he has a legitimate reason to stand in the Dail and call Mary Harney a “fucking useless cock sucking tub of lard”
I-for one- almost fainted when I heard, at the very least I almost swerved of the road.
Cowan is starting to really turn me on.
Eeeew.
YOU HAVE EXACTLY THE LEADERS WHO REFLECT YOUR OWN LACK OF INTELLIGENCE – AND YOU STILL FIND IF FUNNY. YUK IT OUP WHILE YOU CAN,THERES SOME HARD TIMES COMING.
Fuck off, cuntchops.
“Cuntchops”
heh
We shall never forsake the blue skies of Ulster for the grey mists {and profane Taoiseach} of an Irish Republic !
Where’s Twenty gone?
He’s chained himself to the railings outside the Dail with a big sign saying “Bring Back Bertie” !
Ach, we’re a nation of hypocrites. We want a man of the people as Taoiseach, it seems, as long as he’s not a man of the real people.
Unless of course Twenty is Cowen.
Think about it – wanting ahern gone, a love of profanity, something else which backs up the argument.
It all makes sense.
Couldn’t agree more. To quote again what you said above so eloquently (with a correction of the obvious typo which understandably slipped through because of your righteous indignation):
“This morning I am truly saddened that our once great cuntry has sunk so low.”
If Twenty is Brian Cowen, then maybe Brian was Brain Cowen as well – a man confronting his inner demons in public via the internet.
Ah, shite..
I’d advise you all to stop your slanderous accusations at once. You fuckers.
Ah no Tinman. Why?
Interesting Twenty Cowen, very interesting.
Still smoking in the Dail bar?
Still profaning in government buildings?
Still not admitting the truth?
It’s OK, RN, I just spelled Brian as Brain… too busy getting the italics right.
Blogging Ignorant Fucker From Oldcabraroad…
Twenty – Now is the time to rock this rotten government to it’s foundations by announcing that as from today you are on a
beer-strike to the death. And obviously stand for the Dail.
I now a few lads from Offaly who are staunch Fianna Fail and major Cowen supporters. They are as racist and sexist as they come. That my friends is the future if Cowen stays the course. We are heading for a one party state in rapid time.
They are also funny bastards
The Sexist and Racist party?
Unlike Brian Cowen, Twenty would make a Handsome Taoiseach. But would that be good for the country? It’s never happened before.
Also, I’m not so sure you’d really appreciate the reign (rain?) of death he’d embark upon as soon as he’d recoveredfrom his inauguration party.
Heh heh, that Gluaistean (#8) is a complete mental case. I like mentallers.
Hey, Gluaistean, any more amusing mental thoughts for us?
“Heh heh, that Gluaistean (#8) is a complete mental case. I like mentallers.
Hey, Gluaistean, any more amusing mental thoughts for us?”
And if you do, could you put them in block capital so that I can really enjoy and appreciate the force of your mentalist ire? Ktanxbye
Rob’s blog is funny today. http://www.allegedcomedian.blogspot.com/
Ye Glueface is a mentaler alright. He pops up evey now again to tell us how stupid we all are and how great he is.
I think he has moved abroad because he was too great for our stupid nation.
I remember one day he came on and said he was about to sit down to a lovely steak meal that we were all to thick and poor to appreciate.
A complete looper.
I’d love to slap him around with a hurl
Could Gluestain be Brian Cowen ?
No way. Cowen is ok
Well Cowen talks in capitals the way Gluestain writes. I’m worried, though, that you never see Twenty and Cowen together in public…
… although you never see Twenty and Twink together in public either, so perhaps that’s not a great argument
Twinky Major, still zipping up his mickey in Dublin bars…
imagine brian cowan and the president of the gambia were swapped using some mind-person swapping machine.
this is the latest insight from the leader who claims he can cure HIV AIDS in 3 to 30 days using a mixture of 6 plants rubbed into the skin around the ribs followed by drinking a smelly, yellow drink and eating two bananas:
http://www.gambianow.com/news/News/Gambia-News-President-Jammeh-Gives-Ultimatum-for-Homosexuals-to-
And what does the president of gambia say, oh dear?
So Brian Cowen said a rude word. But has he been accepting “handouts” from his friends? give the man a chance to fuck up properly before jumping all over him. He is a Biffo so its only a matter of time.
Mad bastard! He has the aids cure and he’s only telling the rest of the world now. What a cunt
Albert Reynolds said “crap”, didn’t he. Now Biffo says “fuckers”. And Eamon-Green-Minister-for-Broadcasting-etc wants to introduce fines for swearing, which would mean that if future swearing Taoisigh were broadcast the broadcasters would be fined.
I see a fiendish plot – all Biffo has to do after the new Broadcasting Bill is through is swear every second word in a Dail speech, as in “I fucken hereby cocksuckingly declare motherfucking myself bollocks dictator cunting in pussylicking perpetuity” and the broadcast media won’t be able to play it. Shame, go for it Brian.
The reason he took so long over the aids cure was he was dithering about taking the envelope……
Eamonn Ryan wants to fine broadcasters for swearing? Dear God. That puts me right off him. That’s what happens when we put handsome men in the Dáil. How awful!
I’m Brian and so is my wife.
Eamon Ryan? Handsome?
Have a look at Green Ink’s site, Jo (I can’t do links) and see if you still think that.
Not only am I in favour of swearing in the Dail, but fistfights too.
Whoever proposed the swearing fine probably deserves a shoeing, the little gickerlicker
A heartfelt plea, Twenty. But know that there are few words more filthy and which show such contempt as the word flipper. I blush to use it here.
As for that other word “that word which our mothers brought us up to shun and eschew”
My mother taught me to eschew that word with my mouth-closed and woe-betide me if I didn’t. I would be beaten and likened to willy-dribble and then made to stand in the corner and recite “I will not say fuckers” for the rest of the day.
But these days? There’s no decency these days. No effin’ decency at all. Ireland’s brought low this day.
The Spanish ? Now they have an action packed parliament.
Antonio Tejero, where are you now ?
wow, gambia sounds like a nice place to be.
very logical i’d say.
How long til the next massacre there do you think?
Building on Giver’s idea , it would be funnier to have wrestling in the centre of the Dail although Brian and Enda in spandex would not be for the fainthearted.
I’d pay good money to see Mary Harney in a Black Leather corset, stilettos and fishnet tights beating Cowen with a whip!
just type “fight parliament” into youtube and see how it should be done. bolivia and taiwan seem to be best.
Enda wouldn’t stand a chance against Cowen in a wrestling match. Biffo would flatten him. Could anyone in the house take him?
Harney would probably give him a good fight but I still think Cowen would come out on top
Cowen on top of Harney – a disturbing image
Jesus, maggot, I’ve got that image stuck in my head now
Here’s something to shift it Tinman – Harney and Roseanne Barr naked mudwrestling.
lovely
In Russia a political meeting with Gary Kasparov was interrupted by a flying penis, a thing like a mini-helicopter but in the shape of a knob.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbnySBqioB0
Sorry, still can’t do links
maggot, you are one warped motherfucker.
Oh, wow, did one without meaning to.
Fuckers…
Way to go Tinman!
Amazing what you can find on YouTube by typing ‘Russian Cock’ in the search box!
Actually, I typed ‘Russian Flying Cock’…
Mary Harney using Willie O’Dea as a dildo.
“What, Mary Harney is dead?”
“Yeah, apparently she OD’ed on Willie”
I am surprisingly quiet on this thread today
me too.
Getcher fingers out lads! I’m not doing this on me own. I have me own blog to look after y’know?
Do liven up your afternoon…
Volia..
http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/allcaps.htm
how’s the wanky shit slinging going MB?
these posts are too long.. I need short funny posts, and lots of them.. I’m MTV generation it seems – even though we only had RTE…
WE ARE NOT your publishers, we are not impressed with word count!!
I always see ‘Donate’ buttons on websites (Maria’s link).
Are they serious? What am I supposed to think? – “oh, that was amusing, here’s a tenner”.
Or a twenty?
Pavarotti left all his clothes to Mary Harney in his will.
I’m off to the loo, anyone wanna guess the colour and substance?
loose and beige
Maggot, have a look at Netiquette Nazi in Maria’s link, she looks right up your street
HM, I’d say it’s white and made of porcelain – my loo is anyway…
Holemaster, stick me down for a tenner on a pale brown floater.
greeny brown & moist
I’m sitting at my desk eating a packet of chocolate peanuts, so could you please all fuck off with your poo guesses? Thanks
Holemaster, to make this easier tell us what you’ve eaten (or drank) in the last 24 hours
Tinman, is it a big packet? Do you chew them properly? If your answers are ‘Yes’ and ‘No’, stick me down for a very liquidy squirter with lots of small floaty bits.
Holemaster, you’re a very long time in there.
Are you having trouble flushing it away?
Did I win?
The answers are ‘yes’ and ‘I tend to eat about six at one go’, so I’m thinking pebble dash – oh, shag off, now I’m at it..
Right, well, I suppose you could say it was a two act play.
Having being very busy so far today, I was suppressing the urge so to speak for a few hours, hence the next bus came along and something had to give.
Act 1:
Dark brown, the consistency not unlike a toffee crisp held under arm pit for about 10 minutes. Not quite a clean finish, left the feeling of more to come, the door ajar I suppose you could say.
Act 2:
Sure enough, the next bus came along rather more rushed. More purpose to this one, not the lazy blasé style of the last. Firm, unambiguous, like a good hand shake.
There you are.
We all lost our money. Holemaster, are you really that chick off The Real Hustle scamming us with poo con tricks?
Holemaster, you can fuckin’ whistle for your tenner. I’m not giving it to you without photographic evidence.
Extremely descriptive and informative Holemaster, well done. I’m sure even Tinman enjoyed it
Trust me Peadar, I didn’t, though I did admire it
I’ll donate the moneys received to charity, promise.
Oops, Act 3 just went off.
What is it about men and talking about their shit? It’s so creepy. I’m scared to think what the flow comparisons would be like if you menstruate.
I read a disturbing fact about Hitler – he was a coprophiliac, and could only get off by lying under a glass table with a woman squatting above him, taking a shit.
Not so healthy. Or perhaps you’d disagree?
I read a disturbing fact about Hitler – he was a coprophiliac, and could only get off by lying under a glass table with a woman squatting above him, taking a shit.
So that’s where maggot gets it from.
“coprophiliac”
I’m a cop-a-feel-iac
Well it took as many as 76 comments for this thread to turn to shit (literally). That’s up from recent threads. It’s all getting a bit highbrow around here.
I read a disturbing fact about Hitler – he was a coprophiliac, and could only get off by lying under a glass table with a woman squatting above him, taking a shit.
How do you find out that that’s what turns you on? Do you just try it & half way through go “no, sorry, gross”? How could you look a woman in the eye after that (don’t say it, maggot).
Some people hoard their work in plastic bags and can’t let them go, same with hair or nail clippings. Don’t know what the condition is called though.
You are right Jo, it is odd, this talk of turd.
I believe that may not be the only disturbing fact about Hitler
What is it called when you like doggy style with a woman wearing a duffle coat with the hood up and fake ears and tail pinned on?
Not that I, you know, just wondering…
Depends which one is wearing the duffle coat, SG. One is called kinky sex, and the other is, oh, also kinky sex
Ah hah hah
Getting back to Brian Cowen.. I’d say he plants a sturdy one in the Armitage.
You’re a furry, Supergrover. I think it can get more sophisticated than duffle coats – and god bless your innocence, ‘pinned on’:http://www.extremerestraints.com/fox-tail-anal-plug_371.html
Germans are well known for their love of combining sex and faeces. They also produce the most manky porn in the world.
I generally try to avoid sweeping generalisations but I can assure you that Germans are generally filthy fuckers (literally)
whoops, messed up the link: you might not want to access this site in work, though the pic’s ok
http://www.extremerestraints.com/fox-tail-anal-plug_371.html
Yeah, might skip that one Jo. But you could describe it…
I’d say they have to send a Miner Bird in there after him before anyone else can use the loo ..
Jesus Jo, are you the ultimate desperate Housewife…
Fuck I have just been reported to the web police. Anyone got a job?
Nah, I just read a lot.
Jo, if you get a chance, could you find me a monkey-tail, and maybe some red arse-paint?
Cheers!
I did have to do a search for it, I didn’t have it bookmarked or anything :)
Heh, isn’t there a band called the Red House Painters? The Red Arse Painters sound more entertaining.
Miner bird… I corrected a kid’s story recently with a Macaw in it, but he spelt it ‘McAugh’. I thought that was cute.
Yeah Jo, we’ll overlook the fact that you kinda need to know what you’re looking for.
Did you notice that the bunny-tail was sold out? I was disappointed with that meself, until I discovered that a loo-brush does exactly the same job for about one-tenth of the price.
PP, are yo serious? Hello PP’s boss. Your a cunt. SAck him, he’s a dosser. And I seem to rememeber him using the word flipper at least once…
Did anybody else get the yellow slippery floor warning photo yet, with john Terry on it? Maggot and the boys are quick off the mark today… suppose they had no natural disaster/political scandal to deal with..
“Miner bird… I corrected a kid’s story recently with a Macaw in it, but he spelt it ‘McAugh’. I thought that was cute.”
Mc Awwww
You must be a pretty cool teacher Jo.
until I discovered that a loo-brush does exactly the same job for about one-tenth of the price.
Aw, loo-brush, Jesus!
Hahahahahaha…
What, Jo? Brings a tear to your eye, does it?
MB, I see they are bringing out some game or other on the WEE, with your name on it, are you getting paid??
Fuckin’ right I am. Where do they live?
Fuck I have just been reported to the web police. Anyone got a job?
I hear the web police are looking for people.
ha
You’re a traditionalist, Twenty.
SEGA of Japan
1-2-12 Haneda
Ohta-ku
Tokyo 144-8531
Japan
Sega Make Super Monkey Ball..
PP, me and a mate are setting up a Gambling/Dating/Porn site soon. We have it sussed, but are on the look-out for blokes who can type in a foreign accent and sound like a bird. Interested?
Whats it gonna be called
“Bet you have to pay for sex.com”?
i tpye lkei a bird,
Big Bird…
Senor Balls, you can counting me in, big boy
What d’ya reckon?
Senior Balls?
Tinman, yer in. Start on Monday.
SAm, we’re keeping you on file.
Wow, I’m on file, again, thats what the policeman said to me too, after the stalking incident…
No, Jo, that’s Spanish. I just realised that if I’d asked what he was wearing I’d be going in at supervisor level.
I just saw Rosie Ryan running through the park and a big Guard chasing her…Mother says get welding rods and jam, on your way home.
“Twinky Major”
I just spat my chicken and brown sauce sambo onto my already fucked laptop. That was funny.
maggot, you are one warped motherfucker.
Appreciat the compliment – that’s why I’m your wriggly chum!
Jo I read a disturbing fact about Hitler – he was a coprophiliac, and could only get off by lying under a glass table with a woman squatting above him, taking a shit.
Twenty So that’s where maggot gets it from.
Careful now – or when my mother, Mrs Blowfly, gets back from laying her eggs on PP …..
Some disturbing comments from Jo on this thread! In my day teahers put a Dunce’s cap on silly children ( after a trashing ), the
http://www.extremerestraints.com/fox-tail-anal-plug_371.html
is going a bit far, even if you do work in the channel Islands!
( repeats Jo’s warning about accessing that site at work )
After a trashing, thats how we got our oats.
I tought dat was treshing
This is not the time to split straws?
Thought you split hairs.
Maybe it depends how big your fingers are… needs must…
Hey Twenty, can you make your comments more fancy? I noticed on Fústar’s blog there are buttons for the lazy of finger to bolden, italicise, do quotes etc.
Sorry Jo, there’s no way to italicise or embolden or
strikethroughon this blog.It’s simple, and that’s the way I, for one, like it.
Nothing fancy, no sireee bob. Sorry – sireeee jo.
I could tell you how to do it Jo, but the Monkey Balls would kill me. He explains it on his blog – it was earlier this month so just scroll down the main page and you’ll see the entry. There’s a link to copy and paste into your browser bar and all shall be revealed.
No, no, I know how to do it. Well, not strikethrough, but if it involves typing stikethrough every time, I can’t be arsed. I’d just rather click once and be done with it…
Fuck the web police, I have just applied for a job with extremerestraints.com as a product tester. the nipple pumps look particularly interesting.
Just spoke to the sister who was at QUB today – Bertie was there receiving some phony degree – she says he’s smaller, more perfectly formed and a good deal more tanned than one would expect.
An unpleasnat experience.
ew, nipple pumps? for inflation?
Still, no doubt Extreme Restraints can help you out with your quest to fuck the web police. :)
Maggot,I bet Bertie’s feeling happy. Did you read the dramatisation of his desiscion to resign by Roddy Doyle in the Saturday IT a month or so ago? It was very sympathetic…
Did anyone check out Maria’s Allcaps link? Very funny. To be posted at all shouters from now on.
Another leader and twenty starts, what a surprize. Mate you are such a t w a t!
I thought he was being sarcastic about the sensitivities of the Irish Broadcasting collective. As if to say that we should not be making such a big deal about somebody saying ‘fuckers’.
So not starting so much.
but perhaps I’m, perhaps he is being a twat nonetheless.
Someone tell me to go to bed.
At least the public won’t be half as forgiving with his flaws as the were with the last fella.
he could have said “those feckers”and avoided all this controversy , fuckin silly bollix…
Ride me sideways, that was another one.
Another one of what? Another thing Brian Cowen said to Mary Coughlan?
VERY FUNNY TWENTY – HOPE THAT YOUR BOOK IS AS HUMOUROUS, BUT WE WILL LET THE BUYING PUBLIC PROVE HOW GREAT (GIGGLE) YOUR WIT REALLY IS….
LA LA LA MY LOBOTOMY HOLE IS ITCHING AGAIN (GIGGLE)
Cowen is Taoiseach, twisters kill four in Kansas,
Coldplay releases fourth(?) CD. Good lord, what’s next, Damien Rice is the pope?
Cuntchops
I’m using that in the future.
Jaysus, that’s a fierce number of comments about poor BIFFO. Sure the man’s only human and wasn’t afraid to show it at the first opportunity. As long as he doesn’t go off and cause an international incident like Leslie Nielson in Police Squad/Naked Gun insulting the Chinese ambassador or something similar then he’s not really doing that much harm. Still wouldn’t vote for the fecker but it could be worse.
All the best,
Lad