Judges

Posted on | May 21, 2008 | 54 Comments

What hilarious bastards judges are. When they’re not handing down suspended sentences to rapists, child abusers and kiddie porn lovers, they’re calling the inhabitants of entire county ‘thick’.

Seriously, what a fucking old bastard he is. You’d never catch me engaging in those kind of lazy stereotypes.

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54 Responses to “Judges”

  1. Tinman18
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:06 pm

    But he said it was never meant to be offensive.

    He obviously thought the thick fuckers from Tyrone wouldn’t understand it.

  2. Twenty Major
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:13 pm

    It’d be great if they really did get stuck in.

    “Well obviously this man didn’t pay his debts, he’s from Cavan. Ten years! No parole!”

  3. Twenty Major
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:15 pm

    “Your honour, how can you be sure this is the man? You can’t direct the jury like that”

    “The guilty man was heard singing beautifully and dancing with impeccable rhythm. It had to have been this particular negro”.

  4. Dessiegee
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:23 pm

    The girl gets wrongly prosocuted and the judge accuses her of being thick – how thick is that

  5. Dessiegee
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:24 pm

    The guilty man was heard singing beautifully and dancing with impeccable rhythm. It had to have been this particular negro”.
    Twenty – is this a quote from the current R Kelly case

  6. Twenty Major
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:24 pm

    “Your honour, this man has a cast iron alibi for the night in question. He could not have committed this atrocity”.

    “He’s from Limerick. Take him down”.

  7. Twenty Major
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:26 pm

    Dessie – heh, but unfortunately R allegedly combined the singing and dancing with the raping and sodomising of a teenager.

    Which means he’ll probably get off.

  8. Tinman18
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:30 pm

    This type of stereotype would enliven all public life.

    “The Minister for Justice announced today that 200 more Gardai would be posted to Limerick to “sort out the mad bastards down there”.

    “The Min Of Soc Welfare announced further increases in the Old Age Pension, saying “otherwise the fuckers will be on to Joe Duffy again.”

    “The Finance Minister has cut the dole, saying “the lazy shits would only spend it on cider anyway”

  9. Lung the Younger.
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:35 pm

    So he’s an offensive, narrow minded ignoramus, who won’t accept sterling from a desperate punter and would love to blow the head off anyone who tried to rob him.

    Always wondered why judges and taxi drivers got on so well together.

  10. Xbox4NappyRash
    May 21st, 2008 @ 3:42 pm

    he had a fucking point

  11. Holemaster
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:01 pm

    He meant to say people from Fermanagh.

    A lot of arrogant Judges in this country though. I really question the integrity of some of them, especially around the border where fuel smugglers strangely never get heavy fines or sentences handed down. Odd that isn’t it? Wonder if there’s any bails of cash being dropped at their back doors?

    Of course there fucking is.

  12. SuperGrover
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:07 pm

    I used to like Judge from Wanderley Wagon. I had a badge with him on it.

  13. Puerile Pish
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:08 pm

    Judge Pickles in the UK once gave a paist a lenient sentence because the woman deserved to be raped.

    In his defence he was in favour of legalising cannabis

  14. Puerile Pish
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:09 pm

    Paist = Rapist

  15. Louis Cipher
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:09 pm

    This story reminds me of a joke.

    Q: What do you call a judge with no testicles?

    A: Justice Mickey.

  16. Puerile Pish
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:10 pm

    I wonder how he would describe those cunts from Louth?

  17. Tinman18
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:17 pm

    Probably as “those cunts from Louth”

  18. problemchildbride
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:29 pm

    When he was “apologising” the judge said “I have nothing but regard for the people of Tyrone”.

    Bloody hell – what kind of an apology is that? He doesn’t specify low or high regard – he merely notes their existence. He should be made to apologise for that apology.

  19. Peadar
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:33 pm

    haha well spotted PCB. The people of Tyrone exist

  20. Tinman18
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:38 pm

    That was all mistyping by the court reporter – he said “I care nothing for the retarded people of Tyrone”

  21. Puerile Pish
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:39 pm

    I actually met a person from Tyrone on the DART on my way to Croker on Sunday. I can confirm he was indeed thick, seemed nice enough but definitely thick.

  22. Loco Lobo
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:42 pm

    Anyone who kills a burglar can’t be all bad.

  23. Peadar
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:43 pm

    Your very definite there alright PP. And was he long?
    I thought it was just Morgor and MB who were like that.

  24. Puerile Pish
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:49 pm

    Peader to quote the old school yard rhyme: “long and thin goes too far in, short and thick just does the trick”

  25. Puerile Pish
    May 21st, 2008 @ 4:50 pm

    You’ll be supporting United tonight then Peader?

  26. Rob
    May 21st, 2008 @ 5:17 pm

    …just back from the states and I read your blog;

    Now maybe it is the jet lag, or just plain old tiredness but let me get this straight..

    Someone said that Norn Ironers are a bit dim

    Yes

    And

    What’s the problem?

  27. Tinman18
    May 21st, 2008 @ 5:39 pm

    Have a look at my comment No 8, & then look at RTE’s news, coz apparently Brian Cowen used the word “fuckers” in the Dail this afternoon.

    Didn’t know he read this blog, but I’d like to point out that all of the commenst so far refer to Tyrone, and not in any way to Offaly.

  28. porridge
    May 21st, 2008 @ 5:52 pm

    obviously cowen wasn’t referring to fine gael. would have used the word cunts instead.

  29. Jo
    May 21st, 2008 @ 5:55 pm

    Ahhhh, Rob, wait for the four nights of jolly midnight waking to follow, I wish you well… though you were on the east coast, so mabe they won’t be so bad. Yaaawn.

    Is R Kelly the ‘I believe I can fly’ guy? And he raped and sodomised a teenager? Now there’s a nasty little irony.

  30. Jo
    May 21st, 2008 @ 5:56 pm

    heh. ‘fuckers’ in the Dáil. No better place for them.

  31. Peadar
    May 21st, 2008 @ 5:57 pm

    You’ll be supporting United tonight
    then Peader?

    It’s a difficult one. Is there anyway they could both lose? Although I suppose I hate united that small bit more than chelsea.

    And this is an old one but sure what the heck –
    If you put a long condom on a long prick and a short condom on a short prick, what do you put on a thick prick?
    A Man united Jersey or in this thread maybe Tyrone

  32. B
    May 21st, 2008 @ 6:43 pm

    R Kelly is no longer the “I Believe I Can fly” guy, he’s the “Trapped in the Closet” guy.

    and it was a 14 year old to be exact.

  33. maggot
    May 21st, 2008 @ 7:21 pm

    I lived in Tyrone for 10 years – the People from there are indeed a bit dim.

  34. Monkey Balls
    May 21st, 2008 @ 9:42 pm

    I’ve never been to Tyrone, but I find myself agreeing with maggot. If they allowed him to live amongst them for 10 years, they are indeed dim.

  35. Northside Langer
    May 21st, 2008 @ 10:43 pm

    It was wrong even if its true.

    On another sstory…. just finished watching thematch, Tevez is a fucking psycho, has he ever killed anyone?

  36. Puerile Pish
    May 21st, 2008 @ 10:45 pm

    John Terry is a clown hehehe

  37. morgor the fan
    May 21st, 2008 @ 10:47 pm

    wow what a game.

    the skill was amazing. and the guy with the hair, he played so well.

  38. Puerile Pish
    May 21st, 2008 @ 10:51 pm

    Morgor you are acting gay again

  39. Eoghan
    May 21st, 2008 @ 11:16 pm

    Niiice. Lot of things remind of Withnail quotes tonight:

    Danny: So there’s this judge sitting there sitting in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far out looking hat…
    Withnail: A wig.
    Danny: No man, this was more like a long white hat. So he looks at the coal man and says “What’s all this? This is a court, man. This ain’t fancy dress” and the coal man looks at him and says “You think you look normal, your honour?”. Cunt give him two years.

  40. bug
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 12:03 am

    yup, biffo wanted no.2 to get onto the health / welfare top dogs and ‘sort them fuckers out’ so he’d be gettin less grief. Don’t embarass yourself pp, jt is a legend. I hear you tinman, a bit of straight talking and this country would be far better off.

    ‘No you’re not getting an extra 8%, you do shag all and that’s all you’ll ever do. I could outsource your job like that’.

  41. Monkey Balls
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 1:11 am

    Wow, just back from the pub after watching the match.
    That guy with the hair….

    What?

    What do you mean, Morgor already said that?

    -Fuck!

  42. MartyBanana
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 1:21 am

    My personal theory about why judges are so nice to child molesters:

    They are setting a precedent so that when they are found out to be kiddy fiddlers themselves, their sentencing judge will say something like “The standard sentence for your particular heinous crime seems to be a slap on the wrist and a pint of Guinness. Off you go then.”

    Sly bastards.

  43. Justice Owen World
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 1:39 am

    Objection! The above statement is totally false, and misleading. The normal procedure in such a case is that the child is given a slap on the wrist and a packet of hard-boiled sweets!

    It’s against the law to give Guinness to an 8yr. old, no matter what he does in return.

    Get your facts right in future MartyBanana, before you go posting your scurrilious comments.

  44. The Jury in the Above Case
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 2:00 am

    Can we just interject at this point to say that the victim in the above case is being portayed as the criminal, instead of the other way ’round?

    Carry on!

  45. morgor the gamer
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 8:04 am

    acting?

  46. Puerile Pish
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 8:38 am

    Do they not still lynch gays in Waterford?

  47. morgor the gamer
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 8:39 am

    they do, but most waterford people get homesick and vomit if they leave their farm for more than twenty minutes so generally it’s ok.

  48. Puerile Pish
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 8:43 am

    So have you brought a little bit of home with you to Dublin? A sheep and a turnip perhaps?

  49. morgor the gamer
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 8:45 am

    A small tanker of slurry and a wheelbarrow of dirt.
    (I sleep in the wheelbarrow)

  50. Puerile Pish
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 8:48 am

    And the slurry?

  51. morgor the gamer
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 9:06 am

    The smell helps me sleep.

  52. morgor the gamer
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 9:06 am

    and wards of intruders.

  53. Sligo Knacker
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 9:35 pm

    more of this please… I love county stereotypes, and they are usually true!

  54. JERSEY
    May 22nd, 2008 @ 11:30 pm

    “Yeah, well, there’s a mirror in the toilet if you want to go in there and talk to them.” – Brian Cowen responding to Martin McGuinness stating “We’ll have to consult the [IRA] army council on this” to certain proposals made during the peace talks concerning Northern Ireland. Source wikipedia.

    Sounds like a top man to me

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