How much do you care about global warming?
You have two choices.
1 – A big bag with €5m in cash, yours completely tax free to do with as you please
2 – An envelope in which someone has discovered a ‘cure’ for global warming which will ensure future generations will enjoy the fruits of the planet without sea rises, expansion of the deserts or melting glaciers.It’s a one chance deal, if you don’t take the envelope it will be throw into the fire and the ‘cure’ never discovered again.
Which would you take? Seriously.
Show me the money.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I’d take the money.
After all, what did future generations ever do for us?
May 6th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
“Which would you take? Seriously.”
The Envelope. Seriously.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Do you already have €5m?
May 6th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Do I fuck
May 6th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Simple.
Take the envelope. Sell the cure to the world governments for €10m.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I’ll have the cash please.
Don’t you go upsetting the global warming fad folks, they get very tetchy when the bollocks that comes out whenever they open their mouths is criticised.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I’m so poor if I had a blog I couldn’t even call it Twenty Major.
I’d have to call it ‘the nasty dry crumbs from a wrinkled old packet of Drum’
May 6th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Nice idea but the governments would simply suppress it like they have with the cure for cancer and the car that runs on fuel made from waste products.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I’d have to call it ‘the nasty dry crumbs from a wrinkled old packet of Drum’
Haha, take the money then.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Yeah, OK, fuckit.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
i’d take the envelope. and then either sell it for a vast sum to an oil company so they could bury it for a few years and continue to rake in huge amounts of cash, or patent the cure and only make it available to people who can afford the extortionate prices i’d charge, much like most pharmaceutical firms do with lifesaving drugs. €5million? lightweights
May 6th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Seriously I think anyone would really take the envelope.
Apart from religious freaks who are waiting for “the rapture”.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Following from your valid and intelligent question Twenty, you have a choice of let’s say 100,000 pounds or your mother getting fucked to death by a pox and AIDS ridden orangutan. Which do you choose? “Ha ha, see that proves I was right and you were wrong !” Pathetic.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
‘The rapture’, what a worrying bunch of dweebs, they can keep ‘em. I’d rather stay here and burn than be stuck with that crowd.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
i’d laugh if the rapture was a spelling mistake and what they got instead was a plague of small, very fast and very vicious dinosaurs. serve the cunts right
May 6th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
If I could save the planet, homes and lives of millions of people I’d be an arse to take the money. However, make it 6 million and I’d think about it.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I’d take the €5 million and then tell everyone about the cunt who offered me the choice.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I’d take the money and continue to eat loads of lambs and calves thus slowing down global warming.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
No, hang on, I’d kill the fucker and take both.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Following from your valid and intelligent question Twenty, you have a choice of let’s say 100,000 pounds or your mother getting fucked to death by a pox and AIDS ridden orangutan. Which do you choose? “Ha ha, see that proves I was right and you were wrong !” Pathetic.
It was just a question, you touchy cunt.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Get used to it Twenty. It comes with the territory, I reckon. Most weeks in the Guardian Charlie Brooker’s blog is plagued by gimps saying how he’s crap, 2 out of 10, etc. when actually he’s excellent.
When I think something is ‘pathetic’ I usually don’t bother with it. Maybe that’s just me.
These cunts go on like they are your English professor correcting your ecker.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I’d take the money.
No question.
Even if there was a cure no government would care to implement it.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
The Envelope
May 6th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
There are a considerable amount of scientific minds who now believe the globe ain’t warming at all. And some of these would be folk who bought into GW lock stock and barrel a few years ago.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I’d take the envelope with the “cure”, and sell it for a billion Euro.
This is called lateral thinking. Anyone who just takes the €5m is a muppet, with half a brain.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Ecker, wot a great word.
Take the money, they’ll figure it out eventually. If not a good ice age will sort out that global warming crap.
What caused the last ice age anyway? Too many dinosaurs farting?
May 6th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I’d take the money and then buy greenpeace and burn down all their offices and boats and volunteers.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Take the money.
You’re a long time dead!
Let the next generations look out for themselves!
May 6th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Still luvvya ye cunt.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I’d take the money and then buy greenpeace and burn down all their offices and boats and volunteers.
Awesome.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I’ll have both please.
Yes I did understand the question…
May 6th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
It’s amazing to see people take such pride in their own crubby selfishness.
All decent folk would take the envelope.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Well said Fred
May 6th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Sad bunch of cunts !
May 6th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
I’d take the envelope, shred it without opening it and recycle it.
Global warming is the future. You cannot stop progress.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Wait a minute…. I don’t think that people are treating this as a serious question!
Jesus – where’s brian gone? He’ll sort out this obscene levity.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I think Smitheeeeee is filling in for Brian
May 6th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Brian is in his chapel whipping himself
May 6th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I’m getting confused. Is the money in the envelope?
I’ve actually forgotten what the other thing was, so just put me down for the money, whatever it’s in.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
RN, everyone knows this blog is a forum for serious political debate.
I’ve often seen Bertie and Enda sparring over the piss/blood/saliva question.
Anyway, like I said earlier, we just need weather machines and/or spaceships.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Which one would Bertie have taken ?
May 6th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
The one with the Sterling
May 6th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Bertie would suck a concoction of all 3 out of a hookers ass.
Enda would prefer to stick to a tin of lilt.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Bertie wouldn’t have taken either as he can prove that he has five mill in savings around here somewhere. Now where did he put it……
May 6th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Show a bit of respect as our great leader steps down, ya shower of cunts.
And of course he would have taken the envelope, he’s a smart man
May 6th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
“…allright thinking people would take the envelope”
Really, and who in the great land of fuckety fuck made a freegan arbiter of what is right thinking and what is not.
Freegans wouldn’t take the money because they wont go into the fucking shops.
I think we should acknowledge that the question was hypothetical, not to mention starkly improbable.
Therefore I am right in thinking that saying “take the envelope” will piss off the more self-righteous among us, a compelling reason to say it I think (rightly)
May 6th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Am I stupid to have faith in Man’s unquestionable ability to adapt to new circumstances? We need challenges like ‘Global Warming’ (if it even exists) to continue evolving. (Necessity being the Mother of Invention, and all that…)
We’ll never get to live on any other planets without absolutely having to!
Meself, I’ll be long gone before any real shit happens. I have to rely on illegal drugs for my buzz. All you under-10s reading this- YOU LUCKY BASTARDS!
ps
I have a couple of questions for all the scientists out there who are ‘expert’ in the field of Global Warming;
1. How many years did you spend developing ‘new’ washing-powders, razors, (tip; add 1 more blade) and shampoos before it clicked that there was more money to be made by talking through your arse?
2. Let’s presume that a man lives to the average age (75?), and he never drives a car, right? How big a difference would there be between this man’s ‘carbon-footprint’, and that of a similar man who drives a car. Bear in mind that the first man spends most of his time on Internet Porn sites, wanking himself stupid.
May 6th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
I’d wish for 3 more fucking wishes
May 6th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
what colour is the envelope?
May 6th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
It’s made from Siberian tiger skin.
May 6th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Remember the ice age right, well there were no cans of lynx or febreeze or 4X4vehicles around back then, yeah? So what the fuck happened to make the ice age end?
Did some filthy eskimo go crazy with a hairdryer?
May 6th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
You just quoted Tom Cruise.
That’s all I have to say.
May 6th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Take the money and fuck the crumb crunchers of the future. There aint a fucken thing anyone can do about the weather anyway. Nature allways shoves it up our asses. Hope the drought ends and you get some rain!
May 6th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
On May 6th, 2008 at 6:29 pm Twenty Major said:
It’s made from Siberian tiger skin.
Thats a nice fuckin envelope
May 6th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
You should make the choice harder: make it 100 million Euros but you have to be buggerred twice in a Turkish prison before the cheque is cashed and the envelope has the location of Shergar in it as well.
May 6th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Envelope, then I’d build a multitrillion euro business empire from its contents. If it can work for a fictional character like Tony Stark, it can work for a fictional character like me!
May 6th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
@Twenty: The tiger’s already dead, so what does it care anyway, eh?
May 6th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
But the tiger was raped to death by John Gormley.
May 6th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I guess Bertie’s takin’ da cash, now that he’s a bit of history…
May 6th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
any pics of said tiger ‘incident’?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Rob – You are some tulip.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Mr. Fred Fuckin’ Freegan- You are a charlatan!
How dare you accuse my new mate Rob of being a tulip, eh? That man is a mighty Oak, in a field full of piss-in-the bed Dandelions. Fuck off.
Joking aside, can you tell me where you get your free internet access and computer from?
May 6th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
If I were a girl (and despite the man-titty moobs, I am not) this would be the part of the film where I take off my glasses and let down my hair whispering
“Oh Monkey Balls”
May 6th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Monkey balls and his chums need to go back to school and take science.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Alan and his friends need to lighten up, go to a bar and order a tall cool glass of shut the fuck up
May 6th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
WILCO
May 6th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
It’s very 11 year old boyish in here tonight.
I don’t have time to join in. But you wouldn’t want me to anyway because you all hate girls.
I don’t think previous climate shifts ever occurred at this rate. And it’s all a bit coincidental if it’s not the way we live that’s doing it. I would take the envelope, of course. €5 million’s really not that much.
May 6th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
11 year old boyish?
I do not follow; from what I read there was some late adolescent sparring, a couple of early-twentyish wordplay and banter.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Glad to see you are not like all those journalists, politicians, parents, priests and other people of influence whom you complain about religiously. Indeed, good to see you are not abusing your position by promoting unethical, irresponsible and decidedly pathetic behaviour.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
I’m glad to hear that broadband coverage has now extended to the extreme high moral ground.
Christ on a fucking bike lads, this is hardly The Oxford Debating Society, take a fucking chill pill winston
May 7th, 2008 at 12:01 am
Ha, Sorry, I just despise hypocrisy.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:14 am
It’s not hypocrisy; people who are elected or take high office be it in the church or community do so based on a platform of ideas and principles.
This is a fucking web page where people come to out-do each other with double entendre, (and single entendre) and smartassery.
But, taking the bait, were any official to come out and, for once say what they were thinking, as opposed to what they think we’re thinking, maybe the debate will go up a notch.
Personally, I fond this blog ill-thought out, badly researched, highly reactionary and sometimes breathtakingly tabloid.
But it’s fucking funny, and interesting as are those who contribute to it via comments (including you, freegan, brian, etc. If we start asking for some pseudo political correctness from twenty or the commentators, we may as well just go to boards.ie and talk about our wallpaper or our cat
May 7th, 2008 at 12:15 am
fond = find
May 7th, 2008 at 12:27 am
You have wallpaper? What that about, I kid, I kid
Seriously though, I like reading this blog and know it is not to be taking seriously but, something I just hate when people take an important pressing issue and rip the piss out of it. I mean did you ever see the little Bebo’ers who read this page. Twenty’s blog was initially introduced to me by my 14 year old cousin, I’d hate him to take this on board. It seems nothing more than an attempt to be cooool. There is no need for it. But, alas it’s his blog and just like the media, he can say what he wants regardless of it’s validity.
Goodnight Rob & post a picture of your Alfa on your blog.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:30 am
Who gives a fuck about Bebo’ers?
And I don’t have any position to abuse, Nonny.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:38 am
my point exactly
May 7th, 2008 at 12:42 am
A splendid point it is too.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:45 am
I’m gonna turn up on every thread you start Twenty, from now until you either confess your sins or give up blogging for good.
I’m gonna expose you for what you are – a crap second-rate hack who uses profanity as a substitute for analysis.
I don’t like Twenty Major, there’s only one possible explaination: TWENTY MAJOR IS A CUNT… hahahah tiny-brain thirty-six-year-old-cunt…
May 7th, 2008 at 12:46 am
I’m gonna expose you for what you are – a crap second-rate hack who uses profanity as a substitute for analysis.
Analyse your fucking hole, cunto.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Nonny is a total cunt.
I hate him
I piss on him
May 7th, 2008 at 12:47 am
Nonny is a girl.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:47 am
And Brian is his mother.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:48 am
I reckon he’s one of those Lady Boys that got Ronaldo in trouble.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:53 am
Why do you have to be like that? Anyway, apparently you get “1500 unique visitors” a day to your page. Do you not feel you have a responsibility to the reader? A blog is a medium just like a newspaper, were I to buy the Evening Herald in the morning and publish a piece such as the ones you have published today would it not be the subject of condemnation? I think it would. Off course it would and whether or not you chose it, that is the way it is, you do indeed have a responsibility. I am forever hearing your blog plugged on Newstalk. Scott Williams loves you. I mean, I hate Gormely as much as the next lady but it is one thing adopting an unruly persona, it is an entirely different thing to perverse the course of a good campaign.
In fairness I might as well piss against the wind as I have no doubt you will just call me a cunt and make a mockery of what I have said. You know I like your blog and enjoyed your book, it is not trouble rising perhaps I just think about it too much.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:56 am
Do you not feel you have a responsibility to the reader?
Jesus. Get a life.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:59 am
Scott Williams? Really?
I think you’re expecting too much of me – the only responsibility I have to my readers is to give them something to read. If people want to ‘condemn’ me for what’s on here then they can go right ahead but they should really be concentrating on things that actually matter.
And I’ve never called you a cunt.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:03 am
I’m sorry but this crap has to end now;
If when my son is older, he reads a site like this and it influences him more than his education or my parenting, then both the education system, and I, will have failed.
Twenty has no responsibilty to anyone (thankfully) no-one “buys” this blog, they visit.
If he was to publish a book with his half-baked non-pc stuff in it, then I would expect him to be able to defend it.
i find it more offensive that people will take this so seriously.
For fuck sake, it’s a web-page, you are free to fuck off at any time. I get offended that my taxes pay for celebrity reels and jigs, that Rodge and Podge are thought of as off-beat and clever, that Brendan O’Carroll is thought of as a comedian.
but I get on with it. Stop the crusade people, your time is being wasted, as is mine, but I am not complaining about it with such low levels of humour as to drive normal people insane.
You are jealous of twenty’s “popularity” and frankly so am I, and I think I am more deserving of adulation than he, but you know what, it’s funny, and of an evening, that’s usually what I want.
I want gritty realism, I read Naomi Klein and Noam Chomsky. I want gratuitous use of the word “cunt” I come here.
Plus I want to marry Monkey Balls
May 7th, 2008 at 1:13 am
Yeah, he has mentioned you on many occasions, you hear a lot of bloggers mentioned on Newstalk don’t you think. It’s ironic since Newstalk takes such a hammering from Irish bloggers in general.
“And I’ve never called you a cunt.”
Yes you did on numerous occasions, I remember taking it personally the first time you did. As in I almost fell off the chair the first time.
I guess you have a point, just take it on face value emm. I shall dismount my high horse at once, at least until I have given it more consideration. Goodnight to you and yours Sir
May 7th, 2008 at 1:44 am
twenty has treated the whole global warning issue with the seriousness it deserves – not very much, if any. global warming is a non issue and was only invented after the cold war finished because people had nothing to be afraid of any more. fear is very useful, both as a method of controlling people and as a marketing tool, and that’s what global warming comes down to. nonny, if you want to treat global warming as a serious topic, do a bit of background reading on paleoclimatology, then make your own mind up and don’t rely on hysterical mass media reports.
May 7th, 2008 at 2:26 am
Whatever happened to just ignoring the Fuckwits on this site???
May 7th, 2008 at 2:26 am
Well….
May 7th, 2008 at 2:38 am
Oh right…
May 7th, 2008 at 2:38 am
As a great old friend of mine would say…
“Global Warming me arse..”
May 7th, 2008 at 2:40 am
Rob how come the two Grittilly Realistic writers you list have nearly the same first name, were you looking up some index of gritty Realism??
May 7th, 2008 at 3:46 am
I think it’s time once again, to thank Twenty for coming up with the subjects and for all the great Posters who share their slightly twisted thoughts. (In a nice way of course..) You all make my day, and all the gods know that being an American, I need all the laughs I can get. I am the kind of person, that if I watch a TY show and don’t like it, I switch channels. If I don’t like what I’m reading, I stop.
I don’t understand the dweebs who come on here talking shite. Obviously they don’t know how to skip this site. I pity the man (Brian) who thinks his threats are going to change anything about TM or the Posters. They and I laugh at you.
Being an American, I need all the laughs I can get and I thank Twenty and Jo and MB and maggot and Rob and Peador and PP and the many Morgors for making my day, every day. Even if not everyone posts here, they still come back to read the comments from all the special talents that grace these pages. I’m a stealth reader myself. I know I didn’t mention all of you, but you know who you are.
May 7th, 2008 at 3:47 am
Sorry for the repeated comments….just wanted you to know I was an American and needed the laughs. Have a great day.
May 7th, 2008 at 7:31 am
Brian, at any stage yesterday while you were consructing your clever little parody of Twenty’s Clonroche post did any of the emotion which inspired the original get through to you? When you you were reading the part about kids being smothered by people they trusted implicity did the sheer awfulness of that image have any effect before you turned it into a thing about John Gormley? When you read & then adapted “five and six. For fuck’s sake” did you not get any sense of the frustrated despair that prompted the original post?
I don’t think so, because you were too busy being clever. You must have been so proud of your effort as you looked back at it, thinking “this’ll show him”. You never got the point in the first place. You seem to have come here under the impression that this is a comedy site, and that Twenty was pokiing fun at the dead of Clonroche. His posts are rarely humorous, more often they are venting at the awful things that happen in the country. In the case of the Flood family, his intemperate rant was a cry of anguish at the deaths of two tiny children. Your carefully constructed response used those deaths for your own purpose.
Turn up as often as you like, comment as often as you like, but remember it’s not him that you’re exposing.
May 7th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Back to the point at hand….
….I reckon that 5 million Euro would by a shitload of land in Greenland. A little bit away from the coastline and a couple of meters above the sea level to allow for the melting icecaps. With all the warming up going on, I reckon it would be a sure investment as the new Tramore.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Who the fukc is Scott Williams?
May 7th, 2008 at 10:43 am
I read Naomi Klein and Noam Chomsky
Maybe there is more to you than meets the eye!
May 7th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Well said Tinman
May 7th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Bravo indeed
May 8th, 2008 at 1:34 am
Great stuff Tinman..that’s why I come here every day. Thanks.
May 8th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I’d take the money, for the simple reason that catastrophic anthropogenic climate change is a complete myth and how the fuck can you cure a myth…
Easy question. Now, where’s my prize…
DK
May 8th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
What a retarded question. I’d take the envelope. But then I have kids & I worry about their future.
As opposed to still being a kid and caring about nobody except myself.
Suppose the envelope contained a cure for cancer. Would it still be ’show me the money’.
May 9th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
you prob could take the envelope- and sell it onto greenpeace for a cool five million, then every ones happy.