Carbon footprints
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on May 6th, 2008
I was reading this morning about how spinless cycling twat John Gormley’s carbon footprint is well above the European average and almost three times more than the figure the Department of the Environment are aiming for.
I thought to myself ‘So fucking what? Who gives a fish’s tit about a carbon footprint?’.
Apparently some new website has been launched where you can fill information and it tells you what your carbon footprint is. I had a look but, not actually giving a fuck, declined to fill in any of the information. To be perfectly honest the whole concept of a ‘carbon footprint’ annoys the shite out of me. It’s like they just made something else up to scare people.
After the carbon footprint what’s the stop the Eco-industry cunts coming up with something else, like our ‘Cloud Destroying Potential’ or ‘Greenhouse Ruination Aggregate’? They’ll launch some website or other telling us how doing this or that is going to kill us all in the end and fuck me if the only people they’re helping aren’t themselves, their buddies producing oil free fuels at the expense of starving people and the governments who will make more money by increasing taxes on things we need.
I’m waiting for the refrigerator tax to be introduced. Seriously. You can be sure the Greens will liaise with Hotpoint and Ariston and introduce some pointless punishment on day to day fridge users which will mean that unless we want to pay a outrageous yearly fee to keep our existing fridges running we’ll have to buy a brand new, state of the art, hybrid fridge which runs on 80% electricity and 20% by some kind of generator that runs on ethanol.
Carbon footprints are fucking stupid and while today is Bertie’s day of resignation, and you know how much I hate that little fucker, I hate the sandal wearing Green Party cunts even more.
I hope they all die in a barn fire, their noxious, wheat filled bodies sizzling and crackling and producing the kinds of emissions that a 20 year old Cortina would make. That’d be fucking sweet.
buncha cunts
May 6th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Carbon schmarbon
May 6th, 2008 at 9:30 am
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ah, don’t be so angry Twenty, it’s a beautiful day out there…take a walk (cutting down ever further on your carbon footprint!) and enjoy the day. I dislike thinking that anyone could be so irate when it’s this sunny!
May 6th, 2008 at 9:32 am
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Fuck them so.
By the way - what did you choose yesterday and did you wear 3/4 length trousers ?
May 6th, 2008 at 9:34 am
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3/4 lengths? Capri even? Ohhh, trendy major.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:39 am
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ariston dont make washing machines or fridges any more i thought?
the greens hate the chinese.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:42 am
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I stuck with Ron’s, Maggot. And 3/4 length trousers? Please.
Skimpy cut-off denims were the order of the day.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:45 am
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right. bendy major, so.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:51 am
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No point in taking chances - Good man Twenty. And it was Jo who suggested that about the breeks. I thought she might have had inside information.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:52 am
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And while we are on the subject if the bloody council still collected our rubbish every week like they used to when community charge was lower (thought we’d missed that didn’t you Mr G-Man) then we wouldn’t have to fire up the car every weekend for a one mile journey to the ‘recycling centre’ pouring yet more exhaust fumes into the atmosphere. Global warming, my arse.
Sorry, I’ll get me coat.
May 6th, 2008 at 10:35 am
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Glad you’re keeping up your alcohol footprint twenty, the only footprint worth knowing about
May 6th, 2008 at 10:35 am
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Check this out for more about the global warning bollox….
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/02/a_tale_of_two_thermometers/
May 6th, 2008 at 10:36 am
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IT’S WAR ON WEATHER!
Bush uses his imaginary terrorists as a tool to control us and the EnvironMENTALISTS use climate change to freak us out. We’ve had climate change in Ireland for thousands of years, it usually happens about three of four times a day every day.
We need a FAT BASTARD SHADOW TAX. Did you see the shadows those obese lard asses cast over the weekend? It they’re going to block out the sun that much maybe we don’t need to worry about global warming.
May 6th, 2008 at 10:38 am
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Clobal warming will never happen - as things warm up people won’t need to use so much electricity, gas, oil, peat, coal or wood in their fire to stay warm.
May 6th, 2008 at 10:52 am
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The only inside information I have about Twenty’s skimpies is that they’re figure hugging. And he told us all…
May 6th, 2008 at 10:58 am
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What’s the alternative, Twenty? I’m interested in your viewpoint: Live as we do til we fuck it up completely?
Are you against proactive steps, or is it just that you think Green politics are hypocritical and ineffective?
May 6th, 2008 at 11:01 am
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Jo -if everybody in the world left their fridge door open for an hour global warming would be a thing of the past.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:05 am
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You twit :)
May 6th, 2008 at 11:09 am
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OK - might take a couple of hours so.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:16 am
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What’s the alternative, Twenty? I’m interested in your viewpoint: Live as we do til we fuck it up completely?
Are you against proactive steps, or is it just that you think Green politics are hypocritical and ineffective?
I’m not against proactive steps but show me the cast-iron evidence that humans are the cause of ‘global warming’ or ‘climate change’.
I think there’s a huge green industry which has absolutely no interest in saving the planet or anything like it, it’s there simply to make money from scaring people into thinking we need to save the planet.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:19 am
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I think some of the drive for “The Sky Is falling” is certainly money driven Twenty, but I reckon a lot of it is self-important twats career boosting (scientists and politicians) and ego-tripping. Much the same as the hype about medical “research”.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:27 am
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I’m not against proactive steps but show me the cast-iron evidence that humans are the cause of ‘global warming’ or ‘climate change’.
There’s plenty of evidence available if you could be arsed to look for it.
I think there’s a huge green industry which has absolutely no interest in saving the planet or anything like it, it’s there simply to make money from scaring people into thinking we need to save the planet.
Yup, there are cunts everywhere. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a problem with the way we’re trashing the planet.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:36 am
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Carbon footprint is a load of crap, the latest Green money making scam, when are people going to realise that all these Green ideas are remarkably more expensive then what we were doing before? An inconvenient truth proved to be a work of fiction. I did Chemistry for the leaving and always remember the teacher telling us that Carbon is the most prevelant of all the elements
So given that Carbon is in practically everything it makes sense that there’s more of it floating around - I wonder why they haven’t attacked Methane which is far more harmful.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:39 am
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There you go.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:40 am
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I can’t be arsed reading all that. I choose to blame the planet.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:42 am
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But they are focusing on Mehtane too.
Of course there will always be commercial interests, and unscrupulous commercial interest - but can we really afford to throw the baby out with the bath water?
I don’t have the confidence to reject the whole idea because some people are making money off it. I hope to god you’re right, I’ll be delighted to find out none of it’s real.
Better safe than sorry, though, I say…
May 6th, 2008 at 11:42 am
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I’m not suggesting that climate change isn’t happening, I just think there’s fuck all we can do about it and it’s probably just the earth ridding itself of the parasites living on it.
Us.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:43 am
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I’m not going to argue with that. I think it’s true. It means I shouldn’t have had children though…
May 6th, 2008 at 11:49 am
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Well, I believe we could do something about it, but that we won’t…
May 6th, 2008 at 11:50 am
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Perhaps we don’t have the full details yet about why Twenty wants the Green Party to die in a barn fire yet.
A further statement from him is due later today. What we can take from what we know at the moment is that Twenty Major, no matter how troubled, no matter how upset or angry, is an absolute cunt.
I just cannot understand why anyone would do that to the Green Party. Without trying to condone it in any way, shape or form it is much easier to get your head around Twenty killing John Gormley. Or indeed John Gormley killing Twenty. There are many reasons why a relationship between two adults can end so terribly, why somebody feels driven to commit murder. It’s awful and it’s wrong but to some extent you can understand it.
It’s simply beyond comprehension that a person could deliberately take the lives of an entire political party. And a tiny political party at that. Five or six TDs, for fucks sake.
How could you hold the barn door closed or hold or a cushion over the party’s mouth as it struggled in terror as one of the bloggers they trust implicity, unquestionably, is killing them? We don’t know yet whether the Green Party were dead before the fire started. I suppose the best we can hope for is that the smoke overcame them as they slept but the idea of a bunch of environmentalists being aware of what was happening is just sickening.
I don’t care a jot about what troubles Twenty Major might have had, there is simply no justification for what he did. It was despicable and cowardly. Maybe he thought if he didn’t want to do anything about his own carbon footprint, then no one else should either. What a God complex. Maybe he thought the Green Party wouldn’t be able to survive without his vote. What ego - political parties can survive the worst things you can think of.
Five or six TDs. Fucking hell.
http://twentymajor.net/2008/04/28/stop-killing-kids/
May 6th, 2008 at 11:51 am
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That’s a very pessimistic way of looking at it.
Perhaps we won’t be able to stop it, but it’s worth a try.
What we need are weather machines and space ships :0
NH did chemistry, maybe he can help us out ;)
May 6th, 2008 at 11:51 am
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Has anyone tried that new carbon calculator that Gormley launched? What a load of pish. It asks to enter in the last amount for your ESB and/or gas bills (only if you don’t know the actual KWhrs you use???). Now correct me if I’m wrong but both of these bills contain standing charges (and the option of adding extra charges on to them such as Bord Gais service packs etc). So straight away there’s a question mark over how accurate this thing is. My score came out at 2.68. I intent to print this out on a large A3 sheet of paper and staple it John Gormleys head the next time he’s out in public calling for us to do some other green bollix that will end up costing us money in the long run. Hypocrital cunt!
May 6th, 2008 at 11:54 am
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Roll on Global Warming I want a month of todays weather.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:56 am
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or six months if needs be…..on second thoughts maybe not it’ll give the farmers a reason to whinge.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:57 am
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Heh, Brian makes a strong point. :)
I think there’s a difference between talking about killing people and killing them though Brian. The unsubtlety of the hypocrisy you’re pointing out is strong enough to nullify your point a bit, if you know what I mean.
And you’re not goign to get Twenty to feel guilty for wishing death on John Gormley.
Again, I’d say he’ll be all for the celebrity death match.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
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Agreed Jo, but by the same token there’s a difference between discussing a given topic and venting ill-informed and emotive tabloid hyperbole on something you know absolutely nothing about.
So John Gormley has a higher carbon footprint than Twenty. Surprise, surprise. He’s a government minister Twenty, you’re some twat with a laptop. Duh!
May 6th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
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I’d say Brian - A.K.A John Gormley ? - has made Twenty’s day.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
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My beef with Twenty predates his swipe at Gormley. See here:
http://twentymajor.net/2008/05/02/its-a-fairly-simple-question/
May 6th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
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there’s a difference between discussing a given topic and venting ill-informed and emotive tabloid hyperbole on something you know absolutely nothing about.
Was this your first visit ?
May 6th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
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So one twonk shouts a bit and you all jump on the bandwagon?
I checked my number, and I read the small print. They tried to get you to enter your bill amounts if you don’t know the kilowatt hours. I call that very handy actually. Of course the bill amount isn’t going to be precisely accurate if you have extra bits added on, but instead of wasting your time wanking on about it here, you could have trotted off to find your bill.
I wondered where generation X had gotten to.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
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Brian, by any chance do you write a very unsuccessful blog?
May 6th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
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You know what they say about men with big carbon footprints…..
May 6th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
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Can you read, Brian? Where did I say anything about John Gormley having a higher carbon footprint than me?
Brian, by any chance do you write a very unsuccessful blog?
He’s starting off slowly by writing very unsuccessful comments.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
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I don’t know what my carbon footprint is like but today my methane footprint is fucking huge. Christ but bulmers farts fucking stink. Jesus. If anyone comes into my office they’ll be overcome by the fumes.
Oh I feel rumbles, better get to jacks quick. I’ve already had two shits this morning, there can’t be much left
May 6th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
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that was such a good description peadar that I can nearly taste your farts.
thanks for that.
May 6th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
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Thanks for sharing Peadar. Now all we need is J5 to arrive and tell us what the result of his skin scraping was.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
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I can’t find my ESB or gas bills. I burned the fucking things last week at the bottom of my garden, along with 1/2 ton of other household waste. I was actually surprised that this wasn’t one of the questions mentioned on the carbon footprint calculator seeing as it might have skewed the results a bit more.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
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Yes, I am Ariana Huffington. Fuck… rumbled!
May 6th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
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“I wondered where generation X had gotten to.”
They split in 1981 & Billy Idol went on to a successful solo career
May 6th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
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Will Bertie mention Twenty in his farewell speech ?
Will the political establishment be rocked by Twenty’s revelation that politicians are cunts ?
May 6th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
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I haven’t read the Huffington Post in a while. How’s that going?
May 6th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
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Very unsuccessful
May 6th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
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Nobody is mentioning the battle of the boyne site - Tim Collins etc?
May 6th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
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battle of the boyne
Glorious and Immortal!
May 6th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
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Itchy, just be thankful that it is not Phil Collins
May 6th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
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As is normally the case, the lumpen majority will finally come round and see that the “mad greenies” are in fact correct.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
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Hey Fred, according to your link…
“Freegans embrace community, generosity, social concern,…”
Nice start there with the ‘lumpen majaority’ line.
“Freeganism is a total boycott of an economic system…”
Except maybe the scratcher? Am I wrong??
May 6th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/i‘ll-be-just-fine%2c-says-planet-20080306774/
May 6th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
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The climate change naysayers who are really just selfish cunts who don’t give a fuck really piss me off. It’s real and it’s here and it’s man made greenhouse gas enginered and it’s probably now too late. Bush and you self absorbed useless cunts have cost 8 critical years. Y’all must be dumb as fuck. Sorry Twenty but in 40 years time the ones that are left alive will be eating each other.(Ted Turner.)
May 6th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
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Mmmm, zombie brains.
May 6th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
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Ah, but where to begin…
Firstly, twenty’s probably right about the carbon footprint being a bunch of toss spun by the greens to draw attention to themselves. Ever since the Brent Spar debacle, I’ve regarded the over righteous eco-lobbyists with suspicion. Traffic aside, the amount of carbon that us humans spew out is relatively meager compared to the millions and millions of cows and sheep farting methane into the atmosphere (along with Peadar).
By the way, methane is CH4, that’s 75% carbon per weight. So a methane footprint is like a carbon footprint but without the toes.
With all this media attention and party pontificating about the environment, nobody has really drawn attention to one of the most obvious contradictions facing this issue, namely:
Ecology – Consume less or the environment will collapse and world is doomed.
Capitalism – Consume more or the economy will collapse and the world is doomed.
Rather uncomfortable bedfellows, what?
Discuss.
May 6th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
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to paraphrase george carlin, the planet has survived a lot more than we can throw at it and it’s not going away any time soon. we are, but that’s probably a good thing.
problem with zombies is that cds don’t have the same effect as a well thrown 12″ vinyl. making my last stand in freebird records
May 6th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
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yup, I reckon the carbon footprint thing is mainly horseshit alright.
You heard the ESB plan :
“The Board of ESB has approved a Strategic Framework to 2020 that will see major company investment in renewable energy, the halving of its carbon emissions within 12 years, and the achievement of carbon net-zero by 2035.”
Now that is a very good idea.
May 6th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
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Lung the dumbass
Humans are responsible for there being millions of cows and sheep ? (Some more than others, if you get my drift.)
May 6th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
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Lung’s nailed it.
But you don’t need to go out buying a whole bunch of stuff to reduce your carbon footprint or energy expenditure profile or whatever the hell we’re calling it. Turning off the lights now and again; walking to the shop for your loaf and paper rather than taking the car; eating veg and stuff grown locally and seasonally rather than plums from California in January - which taste like fibrous purple poo anyway.
You can save money too. We changed almost all our lightbulbs to energy-saving ones and are saving roughly 40% a month on electricity. Can’t be bad.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
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I walked to the hardware about a mile away to buy energy saving light bulbs.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
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Did you hear that a baby drops in value by a third the minute you take it home from the maternity hospital?
May 6th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
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So basically don’t buy your babies in the hospital, buy them from a local dealer?
May 6th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
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Buy and sell
May 6th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
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Morgor, exactly.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
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Well I’m going to do my bit.
I’m going to eat as many cows and little cute baby lambs as I can. And calves. Don’t let them become cows. Eat em’ young. Surely cows fart more than calves
May 6th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
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That Gormley chap was much more fun as the alien in “Third Rock from the sun”.. Dont know what happened his sense of humour…
Brian if you dont like “Naughty Language” especially used gratuitously, and totally contradictory posts some times following each other…
Then I suggest you fuck Off, you completely Cunt.
Yours sincerely
Sam the Sheep
May 6th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
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Morgor, I did the leaving 15 years ago and only got a c1 in Chemistry so I’m hardly the one to sort it out.
Anyway that’s assuming there’s a case to sort out in the first place.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
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It pisses me off that the poor plebs are blamed for everything,global warming, emissions (?), wasting electricity, not recycling enough, using too many chemicals in the house, etc, yet no politician or Green Activist ever mentions the big multi national companies using excess packaging and God knows what in manufacturing.
I’ll change to low watt bulbs when Dundrum Shopping Centre stops looking like Las Vegas 24 hours a day!
May 6th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
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The ONLY cool thing about that Dundrum Centre is the way your tyres squeal in the car park.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
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NH, I got a similar result about 8 years ago.
I think together we could make a spaceship out of pallets and superglue.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
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Been done, doesn’t work that well.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
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spot on twenty.. getting sick of the “sky is falling” greenies now. name a lampost - i’ve got some rope.
fuck em all…
May 6th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
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“The climate change naysayers who are really just selfish cunts who don’t give a fuck really piss me off. It’s real and it’s here and it’s man made greenhouse gas enginered and it’s probably now too late. Bush and you self absorbed useless cunts have cost 8 critical years. Y’all must be dumb as fuck. Sorry Twenty but in 40 years time the ones that are left alive will be eating each other.(Ted Turner.)”
build a rocket and fuck off to Mars… oh wait.. temperatures are increasing on MARS too… must be all the 4 by 4s driving around Olympus Mons..
fuck off you socialist cretin.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
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and for somebody to be quoting a deluded communist imbecile like ted turner really takes the biscuit. MMGW aint happening folks. your socialist dream has been shot to pieces.
FUCK OFF and leave us alone…
May 6th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
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The condition of the planet at the moment is at the optimum level to support our particular species. Before this was the case, we were different.
After all the climate change (and there is a sort of climate change, all the time really, we will either evolve or we will fucking die.
The planet will continue to exists, just without us, and I can already hear most of the other life-forms on the planet, jumping for joy.
The planet will eventually orbit too close to the sun, I suppose the greens would have us jumping in an anti-orbital direction to see if we can solve that.
This planet was designed for life, it contained life before us and will do so after us. Stop thinking that we are that fucking important in the general scheme of things, just because we have conscious thought.
The fact that we can get high and mighty about something does not mean we can solve it, if it were the case, the greens would run the world.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
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Holemaster- you need more air in your tyres.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
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No tks Morgor I had to buy some superglue last week and it was a fiver for a fkn dribble of it, imagine how much it would cost to make a fkn spaceship. Fkn good stuff all the same, I even managed to glue to top of the superglue to itself.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:20 am
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Jazz Biscuit: » It’s a jazz shaped interweb says:
[...] Major on carbon footprints… talk about predictable. I think I might write a twenty major post generator. Insert public [...]
May 7th, 2008 at 10:07 am
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