Out of his gourd

Dirty Dave and Stinking Pete walked into Ron’s, ordered a drink and sat at the bar. Stinking Pete declared himself unwell moments before unleashing a stream of vomit all over the floor.

“What the fuck have you been eating?”, yelled a clearly unhappy Ron.

“Just sandwiches”.

“What did you have in them?”

“A watery green vegetable”.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, I thought we told you to stay away from the pukeumber”.

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30 Responses to Out of his gourd

  1. Well Pete was always a nototious BARFly anyway.

  2. Ibanez says:

    that nade me chuck le

  3. Alan Smithee says:

    Oh dear

  4. That was fucking terrible….

    Go stand in the corner and think about what you’ve done

  5. Medbh says:

    Oh the smell of it.
    Yack.

  6. B says:

    cucumbers are bitches to stack, some are slightly curled up, some are too big, some are too pointy at the end…. just awful little bitches in general.

  7. Puerile Pish says:

    That was the second worst pun in the world…Rob knows tthe first

  8. RandomNoise says:

    Dunno if making up a word really counts as a pun in the strictest sense.

    Also, neologisms are a sign of being a mentalist.

  9. Twenty Major says:

    Also, neologisms are a sign of being a mentalist.

    Cram it you fuckunt.

  10. manuel says:

    snarf…………or something like that

  11. RandomNoise says:

    Touché.

  12. Pinkie says:

    I’ve been puking all day today. And I didn’t have any pukeumber either! (did I spell that right?)

  13. SuperGrover says:

    lettuce hope he’s ok soon

  14. RandomNoise says:

    That is an unfortunate turnip for the books.

    “unfortunate” just looks like it’s spelt wrongly.

  15. And I don't really care yer know says:

    Talking of small feet, I’ve no shoes

  16. Peadar says:

    Does anybody in the whole world actually like cucumber? Freaks I suppose

    lettuce hope he’s ok soon

    ha ha

  17. And I don't really care yer know says:

    I do, but you can’t wear them as shoes

  18. RandomNoise says:

    Course you can – haven’t you ever heard of shoecumbers?

  19. SuperGrover says:

    goes well with black sole

  20. RandomNoise says:

    Ah now SG, is this really the plaice for the fish jokes?

  21. SuperGrover says:

    tenuous, i admit

  22. RandomNoise says:

    I think we’ll allow it. Or at least, that’s how it a-piers.

  23. Ibanez says:

    i hate stacking cumbersome veg

  24. B says:

    ibanez, i said the same thing!

    start a shelfstackers against cucumbers movement?

  25. SuperGrover says:

    fudgepackers against cucumbers?

  26. Puerile Pish says:

    I think fudgepackers would be well for cucumbers

  27. maggot says:

    a pint of yakult would soon sort him out.

  28. bettyswallox says:

    start the car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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