All this Olympic torch business is fun, isn’t it? It’s easy to attack some saps carrying a giant flame but not so easy to do anything day in day out about the crazy murderous Chinese. Sure, they’ve got football stadiums for executions but if you really give a shit about that kind of stuff why can’t you do something about it without trying to put out the Olympic torch?
Boycotting the Olympics is a crap idea. People have known for years it’s going to happen in China, why wait till now to get all stroppy about it? The only good thing the Olympic boycott did all those years ago was allow a white man to win the 100m gold medal. And not only that, a fucking Scotsman too. God bless you, Alan Wells.
Anyway, if the Chinese had been any way savvy about the whole thing they’d have gotten some celebs to carry to torch for them. Had they made the right choices there’s no way it would have been extinguished. For example, if it were Amy Winehouse carrying the flame of sport then nobody would gone near her for fear of picking up whatever kind of skin plague it is she is suffering from, and even if they did she could rekindle it by picking some of the flaky scabs and burning them.
Or Britney Spears – protesters could have tried their hardest but the gang of paparazzi surrounding Britney would have made it impossible for them to get close.
Tom Cruise – people are afraid of genuine lunatics. I remember sitting in a café one day and there was this strange sound. Eventually I figured out it was this very tall man grinding his teeth. Within minutes all the tables surrounding him were empty. Tom Cruise is that kind of mental. People, no matter how strong their political convictions, would be afraid to go near him in case he started doing that laugh which you can imagine turns into rabid barking after not too long.
Anyway, what’s the big deal about Tibet? It’s not like they’re an endangered species like pandas. And when did you ever see a cool video with a Tibetan sneezing really loudly? Exactly.
so, everything all right then?
Yes, thank you for asking.
Free Tibet – with 3 Tiger tokens.
I was going Tibet on the grand national on Saturday but I didnt bother in the end.
Johnny5 did you get a labotomy this morning or something.
I was going Tibet on the grand national on Saturday but I didnt bother in the end.
Ouch, you cunt.
Ah, Britney !
You know – now you mention the Skin thing, I hav been wondering about Amy Whineouse – is she Michael Jackson’s latest incarnation ? Ghastly, scrawny, bizarre face, funny skin, hair that looks as it someone set a match to it, odd delusional behaviour an talent deficit. It all fits.
Im going going to boycott all chinese products (before 10pm) for the next week or so.
Chinese, japanese, dirty knees, fuck off.
They should have doused the torch bearers in petrol so any scuffle would have sent them up in flames and by extension the protestor.
Except your wan from Blue Peter, she’s alight.
No surprises – and he’s a perfect choice
http://breaking.tcm.ie/ireland/mhojgbgbqlid/
The time is right to protest because the world is watching and maximum exposure is guaranteed for the cause so I think you go girl!
The Tibetans have my sympathy, I once lived next to a Chinese and it was no picnic. The smell of curry sauce, the fights late of a Sat night, the missing cats – it was a dread.
The owner used to tattoo in pen my name in Chinese on my arm when I was drunk and he liked the fact that I wasnt allergic to his signapore noodles.
So it goes to show you something doesnt it?
So it goes to show you something doesnt it?
eh, what?
Fuck the Olympics – The way some people go on, you’d swear they were special!
“Eventually I figured out it was this very tall man grinding his teeth. Within minutes all the tables surrounding him were empty. Tom Cruise is that kind of mental”
Hahahahahahahahahaha…. classic!
I don’t know about it all. I love the Tom Cruise point. So true. Nutbag.
I find it odd, the Chinese individually are so sweet, and childlike. But en masse they’re sadistic nutters.
Does it come from having such a huge population that life is just very, very cheap? That explains the willingness to kill easily but not the cruelty so much.
quiet today. or is it quite? no its quiet. I really need to wake up
Amy Winehouse will ‘ave yer’ for burnin’ darwn Lundun tarwn Twenty! She’s a fine singer tho!
I think it’s hilarious over the torch issue … waiting for a protester to catch the torch, and run off yelling like Stewie Griffin ‘Victory will be mine!’[but in Tibetan, so it won't be so effective].
I think it’s brilliant that the Chinese govt are really perplexed why people are protesting AND getting away with it! Some real Mandarin in Beijing’s head is exploding right now, and their plan for world domination is in ruins, firstly chinese takeaways don’t do it, and now people don’t either shoddy goods or like the pretty lights on sticks … I can’t wait for the South Park version of this story!!
Oh, and the worst line in the coverage was by the Sky commentator as a wheel-chair athlete took the torch outside Downing St [note: Gordon never held the torch]. The commentator mentioned how the limbless athlete would be ‘doing the next leg of the run’. It made me just cringe at the choice of words.
According to the Chinese its all caused by your favourite animal, the Dalai Llama.
because he was going around spitting on people. cunt
Do China even have a special Olympics team or have they all been put down to make room for able bodied athletes?
Just wondering like.
They have a House Special Olympics Team. With prawns, beef, chicken and mystery meat.
I can picture it now; gobshites all around the country ordering their #41 with boiled rice and shouting “Free Tibet” in their best culchie and dublin accents to the chinese staff. Hopefully they’ll be chased down the road by hatched bearing chinese men followed by a few greyhounds yelping in their wake.
I don’t see how anyone will be able to compete there while breathing in all the smog and pollutants.
It’s Dickensian.
Fuck sake! Ya learn something new everyday. I never knew Chinese men came from eggs.
Nice to see you awake Monkey – long day yeaterday judging from the time of your last comment last night.
Tinman18, I developed a sleeping disorder while working nights back in my 20′s. I usually only sleep 5 times a week, and regularly have to ask people what day it is. It’s not a problem really, except when I fall asleep in pubs, like last week.
If it wasn’t for the ol’ Internet, I think I’d go mad.
You could change it back, with a bit of work…
Come on MB – we know you didn’t just fall asleep.
If you’re not fast enough to get away from protesting hippies, then you shouldn’t be given the torch in the first place.
This could be an Olympic event in its own right.
They have a House Special Olympics Team. With prawns, beef, chicken and mystery meat.
haha
MB that sounds handy. I’d love to be able to get by with a lot less sleep.
I rarely go out on friday nights anymore but when I do I have been known to fall asleep in pubs.
I’m fine saturday & sunday nights.
I’ve now excepted it and with the help of a bottle of Oxford Landing Cabernet Shiraz and Pat Kenny I’m usually asleep by half ten
At this stage, I’d almost rather stay in and sleep than go to the pub. I’m sick of child induced sleep deprivatoin. I’m definitely paying karmically for crimes committed in a former life.
As some sort of sleep deprivation torturer. I must have been the one poking them awake with a stick…
I think its great that Tibet is hosting the Olympics.
Anyone know where the Chinese Baby-Killing Olympics are being held this year? That’s right in g’wan g’wan Taiwan. Or China 2.4, to give it it’s 2010 title.
Enough of all that though, I’ve just started in this new office and the talent is – how shall I put it? – less fine than the last den of marketing I worked in.
That said, there’s a pretty average looking chick with big knockers who is fast being elevated to super-stardom because she is the only thing worth looking at. Her boobs are fucking super, big undulating bosoms that quiver with every clacking-heeled step she takes. She’s got a red-orange top on and they just look smashing every time she walks down to the printer. Which is a lot.
She’s a little big around the back, most girls with the big jugs are, but I would still hit that out of the park. I’m imagining being on the bottom, with those big floppy, perfumed beauties shimmering in my face.
Nice.
So is size more important than shape, MMN?? (you letcherous bastard, you)
There she goes again, this time cocking a hand on her hip to reveal extra hot boob action while awaiting the egressing pages….
I think you’ll find that, although size and shape is important to us men, availability is the most important factor
Jesus jothemama, men can’t fucking win.
If he said he wouldn’t ride her cause she’s a bit over weight you wouldn’t be happy either.
And you can bet she loves been admired. All women do, don’t deny it
:) well, may boobs be with you today, allegedcomedian.
Calm yourself, Peader. I was asking a genuine question.
And there’s being admired, which is lovely, and there’s being objectified and slavered over, which is less comfortable. I’m sure different women draw the line at different points, I won’t deny that.
Is this what passes as ‘fighting for the human rights of Tibet’?
It’s like the movie ‘Demolition Man’ – where the limp-wristed, slack-jawed poofs that are running the planet get their ass kicked when one guy from the past shows up with some fucking balls.
I’m sure that after they kick the torch-bearers in the groin these ‘protesters’ will go home to their college coffee shops and latte’s and brag to their neutered friends how ‘they taught China a lesson’!
The whole world needs to ‘harden the fuck up’.
http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=355273
Tits, schmitts!
I’m more of an arse man meself.
(No maggot, don’t, please?)
Sorry jothemama. It was the you letcherous bastard, you) part that got me. But now I get you.
I wouldn’t say size is more important than shape
I knew it! It’s ok to call any and everyone a cunt, but one lecherous bastard (read the post again!) and feelings are injured.
Sigh.
Jo,
Any chance you’d describe your own boobs to us?
MMM perhaps you should hold the image of those bulbous secretarial jugs in your mind and retire to the perfumed sanctity of the office jacks for a swift bout of sly company time wrist action
I don’t think anyones feelings are injured, maybe MMN, but I fucking doubt it.
A quick knuckle-shuffle you say?
But what would I do with my evening?
The truth is that I’m in that period following a break up where you haven’t had sex for…. oh its turning into weeks now.
As the months go by it gets easier and you get used to not having sex (for shame), but in the immediate aftermath you really are horny as the divil and there is much gnawing of one’s fist as you watch the many, various and beautiful shapes of woman take to the thoroughfare with hitherto unnoticed allure and sexiness.
Take the marvellously bosom-ed Tracy at the end of the room. Right now I want to biblically get to know her so well that I know her better than the biggus dickus scene from The Life of Brian. She’s got an English accent too, and you know what that means: Slut*.
*I have no basis for making that comment other than the UK based porno I have seen.
And to make things harder (boom boom) for you MMN, summer is on the way. Imagine those first few hot days we get at the end of this month or in early may.
Irish women go mad when the sunshine arrives. They can’t wait to get into their skimpy cloths
Too bad you’ll have to wait til Christmas and the inevitable office party…
MMN – I could fictionalise them and give you something else to take how with you tonight, but somehow my heart’s not in it.
Sadly they’re mama boobs, not fantasy boobs. Size over form, in my case. And milk filled, at the moment :)
They sound gorgeous Jo
haha tom cruise with a pro-placenta eating shirt running with the olympic flame to the launch ceremonies.
the big deal about tibet is it’s got monks, MONKS!
Peadar – *blush*
I like the way the comments morphed from the Olymphics to China, Tibet and the Delai Lama to Tom Cruise, boobs and fat asses. Everyone must be hard pressed to keep their thoughts on one subject. Well, anyway, it’s always worth writing about boobs.
I got tired of seeking out available breasts and just went and grew my own…
Moob Power etc.
There seem to be many more moobs about these days. Is it all the oestrogen in the water, and in plastics?
the female athletes at the olympics use so much testosterone that they’re are no boobs.
yet i always feel compelled to watch the female weightlifters.
That’s cos they’re freeeaky!! You can’t look away!
Has anyone seen those smiley orange fitness ‘athletes’ who do press-up and crunch routines to music, sometimes in pairs and groups? It’s incredbly entertaining.
If there was a God, and he/she wanted me to exercise, he/she would not have made me a lazy fat cunt.
the olympics have so many odd little sports, it’s brilliant.
watch out for wheelchair rugby at the paralympics!
god’s not a woman you crazy person alledgy
go on then B: why is god not a woman?
Here’s the best creation story I’ve yet to read, with gorgeous illustrations: http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0763611328/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-link
Big Momma Makes the World
by Phyllis Root
Powerful, warm, and utterly original, this no-nonsense tall tale of Big Momma the creator is a jubilant celebration of our beautiful world – and a reminder to take good care of it.
Earth, said Big Momma, Get over here.
And it did.
All one big ball of mud it was,
nothing much to look at.
Baby liked it all right just the way it was,
but Big Momma wasn’t finished yet.
When Big Momma makes the world, she doesn’t mess around. With a little baby on her hip and laundry piling up, she demands light and dark, earth and sky, creepers and crawlers, and lots of folks to trade stories with on the front porch. And when the work is done, Big Momma, she is pleased all right. That’s good, she says. That’s real good.
i wasn’t serious anywas but…
well if god’s a supreme being and all it, shouldn’t it not be either.
and there’s no valid reason to say THE(if one exists) god couldn’t be a woman.
however the christian god is a man, conceiving jesus with mary and all being the giveaway… although such a supreme being could….
…and now i discount whatever i just typed cos i’m afraid of getting involved in a religious debate.
..my comment should have read …”If there is a god , and there most certainly isn’t…”
Is it me or has Twenty’s blog become totally lost to the idiots lately. He posts a thought and within 3 or 4 replies the idiots are off and running having their own conversations about tits and whatever. Never commenting on the main topic.
Twenty, meanwhile, does the bolt and lets the place look after itself.
Have a look at the last couple of weeks postings and see if it ain’t so.
Am I losing the reason for this existence or is this how it should be… the lunatics running the asylum.
Tits, eh?
I just can’t keep up with the cunts.
I mean it’s not like people expect me to reply to every comment, is it?
Yea. Damn sure.
Every last one of them.
Personally, none of this automated Eskimo call centre answering warehouses that you hear so much about.
PERSONALLY.
!
Sory about the tits. I didn’t start it!
I think most postings go like this, the first 10 or so replies are strictly on topic, but after that, there isn’t a whole lot more than be added other than “Yes” and “Right” or occassionally “No” and “You’re wrong” so the posting goes off on a tangent, sometimes that ends up as more fun than the original post, sometimes it doesn’t.
It’s only t’internet.
And it was Jo who started it about the tits, subconsciously…
allegedcomedian is right. It can be difficult to stay on topic and not be boring.
Speaking of tits, isn’t this the best football clip you ever saw; http://www.redtube.com/8350
That site is seriously not safe for work, for those people who are in work.
Fuck of snookertony ya cunt.
Do you really think people are going to spend the whole day commenting on the chinese?
What do you think this is a serious blog?
You’ll answer me when I speak to you, Major, or I’ll boycott this cunt of a site and your readership will vanish within days.
Twenty – you’re fucking Chinese – do something about it. Start a riot outside rons or something.
It’s disgusting all these people protesting, people didn’t protest when Hitler was in power did they, they just waited for him to come knocking. Still as an Englishman I can understand the Chinese point of view, if you take over some little country and the locals give you shit, shoot them or chuck them in prison, they’ll soon learn. I wish I’d have thought of the steralisation of women without anesthetic though, a super way to make you point heard and show who’s boss. Well said Twenty, fuck the Tibetans!
It could be fairly argued that tibet was “freeded” by the Chinese from the clutches of a bunch of robe wearing religous freaks who treated women and the poor like shite. its probably a better place now for your average woking man so it is hi
Too bad you’ll have to wait til Christmas and the inevitable office party…