The constant struggle
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on March 29th, 2008
Every fucking time it’s the same. No matter how hard you try there’s an obstacle in your way. What you want isn’t such a big deal in the grand scheme of things. It’s hardly relevant at all but it’s now inside your brain. It worms away at you like a worm worming its way away.
You think you’ve got a clear run but then, just around the corner, there’s another banana skin. And inevitably you don’t see it until its too late and all your momentum is gone. Once that happens its so hard to pick up the pace again, to catch up, and after the 189th time it’s even hard to motivate yourself to keep going.
But the prize is there. Tantalising, gleaming, so near yet so far. And can you let yourself be beaten like this? At times it feels like you’re crossing a bridge and one false move will send you into the river of lava below. What can you do but keep going? What else is there to try beyond what you’ve already tried countless times? Are you the kind of person who will keep going or will it all become too much? Will the relentless failure and the ill-timed flaming turtles just finish you off once and for all.
Me? I’m going to try and win Bowser’s Castle again.
I will not be beaten.
Me neither…!
March 29th, 2008 at 11:45 am
I never realised you were a Nintendo fan before Twenty. I’m going to be much nicer to you from now on.
Go on, save that Princess!
March 29th, 2008 at 11:56 am
1
sammie tried that jumping off into the river of lava thing and jay whitlow reports that the results of his litte escapade can be best viewed at rotten.com.
March 29th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
2
What game is it you’re actually playing? I pity you if it’s “New Super Mario Bros.” on the DS. I had to get my 9yr old to do that one for me.
March 29th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
3
Mario Kart on N64
March 29th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
4
What game is it you’re actually playing? I pity you if it’s “New Super Mario Bros.” on the DS.
I had to get my 9yr old to do that one for me.
March 29th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
5
Sorry for the duplicate comment. Mmmm.. Mario Kart.
And Mario Kart Wii is only 2 weeks away!!
March 29th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
6
Is it a new version or just the N64 game?
March 29th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
7
A new version, but with some classic tracks aswell. 50/50 split I think.
Most importantly, it’s on-line, with up to 12 competitors per race. And it’s got motorbikes too. And it comes with a free steering wheel attachment.
But probably even more importantly to you, early reviews say it’s a bit easier than the older versions.
It’s always been my favourite game, and I’ll readily exchange “friend-codes” with you when it comes out, and leave you in my dust-trails.
March 29th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
8
Well this is a cosy little love-in between twenty and monkey balls. Two proper little gamer nerds indeed!
Which one is the bonobo?
March 29th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
9
Get stuffed Avenger. I’ve been waiting for this for soooo long. Me and Twenty are mates now.
By the way, I’m Wario. You must be Diddy.
March 29th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
10
Oooohhhhh!
March 29th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
11
Ah, the joy of Mario Kart! You should try the GameCube version, way better!
March 29th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
12
The gamecube version of mario kart was groovy, ever played Super Smash Brothers anyone? Can’t wait for Brawl on the wii..
March 29th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
13
I’d almost forgotten Brawl was coming out soon. Between that and Mario Kart, I think my days here are numbered.
(Massive roars of delight heard all over Ireland!!)
March 29th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
14
I’m sure you’ll be missed, MB.
*cough* ;)
God i feel like a nerd. But it is gonna be brilliant. Shan’t be able to play it online tho.. sigh.
March 29th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
15
You gamers think you’re so adventurous with your wii adn your N64 and your baffling game talk. Why, I can’t even pop out for a pint of milk without having to jump over a river of lava. Ill-timed flaming turtles are the bane of my life. A spot of kidnapping is all that makes it bearable. Usually I like to kidnap, Juan, a strapping pool-boy or Alan Rickman for fun, quiet times, long walks and more.
March 29th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
16
They aren’t turtles, they’re Koopas. (Bowser is King Koopa.) Them little brown lads, they’re Goombas. The big black ball with teeth, he’s a Chomp. Those yolks that look like a bit of a wall, and come crashing down on your head - Thwomps.
-I could go on….
March 29th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
17
If you want to save a princess in real life I’m available :-)
March 29th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
18
Wait a minute! There are no flaming turtles! Unless you mean the flambouyantly gay one sitting in the car that you drive.
March 29th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
19
Ah, this fill me with nostalgia.
Sadly, my Mario days are long, long over.
March 29th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
20
! Bald Devil is stalking me, he’s followed me to my blog. Did I say his name three times in a row by accident? Can anyone throw some turtle shells at him?
March 29th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
21
talking to an auld fellow(he was over 35) recently, and he was telling me all about his young lad playing the “wee 2″, kept going on about the “wee 2″, took me a second to figure it out…
Blasting my way thro quake 4 at the mo’, and call of duty 4 is kinda groovy…
March 29th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
22
and jothemamma, some people would love comments from anybody
gave up linking…
March 29th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
23
Aw, Sam Crea!
I get feck all comments normally, I have to beg for them, it’s humiliating. I get round it by being in a group blog, and we comment on eachother’s posts.
Twenty is Lord of Comments.
March 29th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
24
Games are girlie.
March 29th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
25
Bowser’s Castle in the GameCube version of Mario Kart is distilled from the essence of pure evil. Especially that bit on the last hairpin corner where you either re-take the lead via a spectacular jump and handbrake turn or you die in a pit of molten lava.
March 29th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
26
jothemama, you say your Mario days are over. It doesn’t have to be so. I found Nintendo games to be a wonderful way to bond with my children. We all have great fun, and I appear relatively ‘cool’ to them at the same time.
That’s the Nintendo difference; It’s not about skill, or winning, or the macho, nerdy values associated with video games in the past. It’s just pure, clean, simple fun. Suitable for absolutely everyone, from 5 to 90. Those who knock it just haven’t tried it.
Wait ’til Wii-Fit comes along in the next couple of months. You won’t be able to get a Wii anywhere for love nor money. Mark my words. Go out and buy one today. Sell your dog. He’ll die of neglect soon anyway.
PS
Bald Devil gets a lot of bad press, especially here. I’ve met up with him myself for a couple of pints, and he’s an extremely nice bloke.
No, really!
March 29th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
27
Well, I’m glad to hear it! I’m not sure he belongs on my mammy blog though :)
And as to your Nintendo idea, I’m going to Resist, Resist! For now. For a host of reasons none of you lot will agree with.
I know it’s fun. God knows, it’s fun. But it’s too addictive. And adults sitting for hours on end playing computer games, I’ve no respect for it, I tell ya. Especially when I’m doing it.
When they’re bigger, and every one else is doing it, sure. It’s not fair to make your kid be the hippy lentil child. For now though, tv is demon enough!
Monkey Balls, you’re sounding a lot more grown up all of a sudden. Perhaps I’m a bad influence on you :)
March 29th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
28
I gave up on Mario bros after playing this one for ages:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_Bros._%28Game_%26_Watch%29
March 29th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
29
jothemama, I fed my kids a diet of Nintendo and Lego as they grew up, with the result that they never had any interest in television. They could read before they went to school, (OK, so back then it was just the menu system of the games they played, but it was a start most kids don’t get), and they have great imagination.
They’re the best behaved kids in the universe, and contrary to the popularly held belief about kids who play video games, they have social skills beyond their ages. I think it helped that I was very pro-active and genuinely interested in playing with them, as against allowing them to play alone in their rooms. I never needed to pretend either, I enjoyed it, and still do.
I came across this website which is a wonderful way to find suitable games for children; http://www.gamerdad.com/index.cfm
And do you know what? I agree that I sound more grown-up. It must be the company I’m keeping, although I never pretended I wasn’t a Grandad. A very proud one too.
March 29th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
30
One more thing. “Monkey Ball” was a launch title for the Nintendo Gamecube. Am I sad or what?
March 29th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
31
Just back from the boozer. Aren’t we all chat tonight? Had a good gaming day ladz? I was out boozin all day and I’m in the humour of a laugh or two?
Anyone heard any good jokes recently? I have one or two if anybody is interested?
March 29th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
32
Heh, MB, it beats the alternative anyway :)
I will ponder the nintendo issue, alright - my daughter’s uncle bought her a VTech ‘educational’ game already anyway, which I think is just a way of getting kids ready to be console consumers anyway - so it’s just a matter of time.
Avenger - well, it’s not up to me, but sure fire away.
March 29th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
33
I like jokes.
March 29th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
34
A blonde walked into a shop that sold curtains.
She goes up to the salesman and says, “I want those pink curtains to fit my computer screen.
The salesman says, “But computers don’t need curtains.”
The blonde says, “Hellooo…. I have Windows!”
March 29th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
35
A sailor meets a pirate in a bar. The pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch.
“How’d you end up with a peg-leg?” asks the sailor.
“I was swept overboard in a storm,” says the pirate. “A shark bit off me whole leg.”
“Wow!” said the sailor. “What about the hook?”
“We were boarding an enemy ship, battling the other sailors with swords. One of them cut off me hand”
“Incredible!” says the sailor. “And the eye patch?”
“A seagull dropping fell in me eye,” replied the pirate.
“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked.
“Aye!” says the pirate. “T’was me first day with the hook.”
March 29th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
36
This one needs doing out loud:
‘Knock Knock:’
‘Who’s there?’
‘Interrupting Pirate’
‘Interrupting Pirate Wh…’
(interrupting)’AAARRR!’
March 29th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
37
The hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing to do. Only bananas and coconuts.
So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and longed for his old life. He fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him.
In disbelief, he asked her: “Where did you come from? How did you get here?”
“I rowed from the other side of the island,” she said. “I landed here when my cruise ship sank.”
“Amazing,” he said. “I didn’t know anyone else survived. How many are there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.” “Its only me,” she said, ” and the rowboat didn’t wash up; nothing did.” He was confused. “Then how did you get the rowboat?”
“Oh, simple,” replied the woman. “I made the rowboat out of materials that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.”
“B-B-But that’s impossible,” stuttered the man. “You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?” “Oh, that was no problem,” replied the woman. “On the other side of the island there is a very unusual rock formation exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware.”
“But enough of that,” she said. “Where do you live?” Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. “Well, let’s row over to my place, then.” she said.
After a few minutes of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to the shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone pathway leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walked into the house, she said casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?” “No, no thank you,” he said, still dazed. “I can’t take any more coconut juice.” “It’s not coconut juice,” the woman replied. “I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?”
Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, “I’m going to slip into something comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom.”
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle.
“This woman is amazing,” he thought. “What next?”
When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. “Tell me,” she began, suggestively, slithering closer to him, “we’ve been out here for a very long time. You’ve been lonely. There’s something I’m sure you really feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing for all these months. You know…” She stared into his eyes.
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“You mean….” he replied, “I can post a load of crap on Twenty’s blog from here?”
March 29th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
38
On a completely different note, FALCON!, PUNCH!
March 29th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
39
Mario: The Beginning.
http://www.b3tards.com/u/899d78c16b9bb1676226/idraulici_associazione_italianalg.jpg
Well it makes me laugh..
March 30th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
40
Funny :)
March 30th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
41
Try this;
http://tinyurl.com/2a8c5n
March 30th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
42
Mario…Luciano…I dunno Twenty, you’re a bit of a one for the latin lovers aren’t you, & so dedicated too.
March 30th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
43
That was a thing of beauty Monkey Balls!
March 30th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
44
Whats Latin about Mario or Luciano??
March 30th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
45
And in relation to the link in comment 39, am I missing something, or missing a button where you click to see something interesting/Funny???
March 30th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
46
I was about to ask why the book cover seemed to reload after the page had already loaded. Then I copped it was the subliminal message thing. Topical as ever.
Anyway I’m telling.
March 30th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
47
Twenty,
Would you be so kind as to post a thread about that fat fuckin cunt that is Brendan more sauce please O ‘Connor. He’s too fat a cunt to just appear in the cunts thread. I need to vent my anger, the fat ugly cunt…
Thanks
D
March 30th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
48
Dennis O’Brien is a total cunt and my young lad is going to kick him in the bollix.
March 30th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
49
SAm Crea said; And in relation to the link in comment 39…..
Yesterday, when he said it, comment 41 was number 39, and the current 39, which I worked hard on, hadn’t appeared yet.
What’s going on? Is it any wonder I end up duplicating my comments sometimes?
March 31st, 2008 at 11:34 am
50
I was walking by a grave yard the other day and I saw 6 guys walking around carrying a coffin. 3 hours later I walked past again and they were still there walking around. I thought to myself “jesus they’ve lost the plot”
March 31st, 2008 at 11:39 am
51
The best was duck hunt, fuck ‘em up with that orange gun!
March 31st, 2008 at 5:12 pm
52
I still play mariocart with the lads, we have a gamecube and play double-dash, except we get stoned first and end up just racing on baby park because we’re too fucked
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:11 pm
53