*bring bring*
“Hello?”
“Hi Twenty, it’s me. Dirty Dave!”
“What is it, Dave? I’m really fucking busy today. This better not be one of your stupid phone calls”.
“No no! I promise”.
“Ok”.
“Right, your whole entire family is being held hostage and they’re going to kill them. To save their lives would you eat the scabs off Amy Winehouse’s face?”
“Jesus fucking Christ”.
*click*
March 27th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
she used to be fairly tasty though…. such a waste….
http://www.americangirl.co.uk/images/amy_winehouse3_300.jpg
March 27th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
That’s scary, it’s not the same girl.
I’m selling me crack pipe.
March 27th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I wonder where she got the tape in this one….Thanks Rick
http://rickoshea.wordpress.com/2008/03/21/amy-winehouse-gets-naked/
March 27th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
She has one helluva talent, though.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
What, she sucked you off too, 10PD?
Most people only know her for her singing.
March 27th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Would Bastardface eat her? Or the cat?
March 27th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Manky
March 27th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
She has the body of a 75 year old skag fiend.
March 27th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money.
Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked, “Did
you see me rob this bank?”
The man replied, “Yes, I did.”
The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,
“Did you see me rob this bank?”
The man replied, “No sir, I didn’t, but my wife did.”
March 27th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
I would lick the mashed potato of her flange. Love that stuff…..
March 27th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Hello Mr T.
I am a foxy cat called Katt. I live with two humans who lavish attention on me when I demand it. They call me Katt when in actual fact my real name is Ursula. I have some sexy markings and an even sexier demeanour and would love to meet Throatripper for some fun and maybe more???
Let me know, I will send some pix if he wants?
Miaoowww X
March 27th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Erm…he says ‘no thanks’.
March 27th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
all that poor woman needs is as we in Dundalk some TLC
the ‘lectric chair
March 27th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Ahhh. He really sounds like my kinda cat though. Tell me a little bit more about him and maybe I can coax him out of his shell. Does he like his tummy rubbed like me? I am using their computer thing and if they catch me there will be trouble. Let me know soon! Please…
March 27th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Fuck off Bald Devil.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Maggot. Tell a more recent joke willya.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Fuck off Bald Devil.??
Je ne comprende pas!
March 27th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
I take it you are unmarried 10.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
I’ve been looking for a new bitch for my crew. I have mashed potato.
(Well, I know where I can get some.)
March 27th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Is the Green font on the front of the book, not exactly the same green that adorns the beautiful little odd-shaped cartons that your majors come wrapped in??
Is this subliminal advertising…
Are you a front for PJ Carroll and Co??
Answer the Question Mr Major!!!
Answer the Question!!!!
March 27th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Sorry,
getting carrried away reading this tacky detective novel at the mo, and I thought I was Jessica Fletchers Bastard Child (after she was impregnated by Jim Rockford)
March 27th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
The answer is no.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Here comes Nurse Ratched with my pills….
March 27th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
so sleepy now….
March 27th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
I’d eat her scabs; then sell them on ebay. I’ll also take O’Reillys crack-pipe while I’m there….off tangent a little – see those maths fiends from kerry?/limerick? make a killing on the ebay software? nice.
My bank-robber joke
Did you hear about the dyslexic bank robber?
“Hands in the air mother-stickers; this is a fuck-up!”
ahem
Off to the kealings for Guinness; good night.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Can you give me Dave’s daytime number Twenty. He’s a lot more interesting than the cunts i have to speak to all day…
March 27th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Twenty, the book’s shite. All the arse lickers in here are wrong. Well written, but shite.
March 27th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
What the fuck are you on about Spudser?
Well written my arse!
March 28th, 2008 at 12:47 am
this fella in the pub sold me a sheep called emily
March 28th, 2008 at 5:52 am
Did you hear about the dyslexic rock musician?
He sold his soul to Santa.
March 28th, 2008 at 8:07 am
If I’d known it was you Itchy, I wouldn’t have sold you that sheep. She’ll have jumped the wall in your garden by now, and be on her way back to me.
Same time next week?
March 28th, 2008 at 9:46 am
I’d crawl over a million, billion miles, just to wank on her shadow, and I’m not exaggerating.
However I’d find those pus filled impetigo blemishes a little hard to stomach, so I’d let your family die Twenty.
Sorry.