While I fully accept that The Order of the Phoenix Park is not for everyone, I must take you to task when it is described as a ‘satire of the Da Vinci Code’.
It is not. The first chapter is a piss-take of the Da Vinci Code and the Ginger Albino, a most ridiculous creation, does bear a resemblance to the character in that book. However, that is it. The story has nothing to do with finding the tomb of Christ or secret societies or holy orders or the Mona Cunting Lisa.
I would very much appreciate it if future reviewers didn’t make the same lazy mistake and went about calling it shit in their own way.
Thank you.
ps – Anyone who doesn’t like Airplane or Hot Shots is a cunt.
Good bit in the Tribune.
Yeah, saw that.
re: Airplane and hot shots – I don’t think anyone has ever been more right about anything
Val-ee-date-ed. Comedy gold.
Who gives a fuck about the reviewers, no one gives a toss what the sad lonely retarded bastards that earn a living from reading books….they are too easily bribed anyway. I would be more worried about the bad bastard that left his review of your book on amazon, he was not happy but reading his other reviews seems like he does not like anything and seems to have the `if im fucked your coming down with me you cunt´ attitude, typical south Mayo characteristics that we are quiet proud off over here so he could be one of us.
Obviously they only read the first chapter. Lazy reviewer.
ps: hot shots rules.
Book reviewers are writer wannabees who see themselves as great writers waiting for the right moment to come along for them to publish their great tomes. The little shits have neither ability nor talent — therefore they take their envy out on those who do and can. Fuck ‘em. Same holds true for movie reviewers as well. They all suck.
Those that can, do.
Those that can’t, review.
Fuck reviewers and the camels they ride in on!!!
People who don’t like Police Squad are also cunts.
People who don’t like Police Squad are also cunts.
Yes, that too.
Goddammit…i finaly got the mits on a copy of the Book…(in the airport after much searching and convincing the girl in the shop i wasnt actually looking for Harry Potter..!) Loved the start but left the bloody book in my mother suitcase….Going to collect it tomorrow….and cant wait to read the middle and end bit….
Great, approaching the last fifty pages waiting for the return to the Da Vinci code bollocks, and now you go and fuck it up and tell me it isn’t there. You remind me of the BBC newsreader every Saturday without fail. ‘Now for todays football, so if you don’t want to know the scores look away now. Arsenal 3 Spurs 1, Liverpool 0…’
taking WHO to task?
I knew this was the wrong week to give up writing spiffing reviews.
I didn’t read the Da Vinci Code cos I already read the holy blood and grail book but I thought the film was a satire.I’ll get yer book for free when the library gets it as they give away books and I’m no paying for a book. hot shots 2 was better than 1 . Yes fuck reviewers thats what I say after every Irish Blog award.
It’s in the libraries already, Knud. And agree about 2 over 1, it’s an absolute classic. I don’t know how Charlie missed out on the Oscar that year.
Someone asked me what I thought of your book after reading it and I sent them this…
I really did like it. It was silly and utterly ridiculous and there were bits of real genius.
The characters were about as fleshed out as any could be given the silly surroundings.
All the characters spend all their time drinking heavily and vomiting and eat sausages and chips from a chipper van.
I mean one of the bad guys is subdued by “Stinking Pete” by him [*SNIP FOR SPOILER*]
He goes into so much detail of this that I was laughing out loud, err’ I mean I LOL’d.
His dislike of folk music and the fact that [*SNIP FOR SPOILER*] was going to be the savior of the world was brilliant, in my opinion. I laughed the whole way through it just on that fact alone.
Now, was it written well? He’s not Stephen King. I never expected him to be. I don’t know what he does for a living (Is he a writer? Is he really John Waters?) but I did know before reading it that it was his first book.
It was fun and funny and it kept me interested the whole way through unlike Ross O’Carroll Kelly. Don’t get me wrong I like the R.O.K. books but his characters are so predicable and run of the mill that I get bored with them
Again I have to go back to Twenty’s characters. I found them funny enough that almost any situation they would have been put it would have been made funny. Only once while reading it did I have to stop and look up something or someone they were referring to in the book. I call it the I don’t in Ireland syndrome.
I’m am looking forward to the continuing adventures of Twenty Major, Dirty Dave, Stinking Pete, Ron, Jimmy the Bollix and Lucky.
Something tells me that the next one will be better.
So to sum it all up…The characters were funny and the story was utterly silly and I laughed most all the way through it.
I liked it.
I do in Ireland – do you? :)
‘Is he really John Waters?’ – hee.
Brian, just snipped a bit of your post for those who haven’t read the book yet. Thanks for the review.
The book has not made it to Lebanon yet but I will fly home next month to get a copy. The bad review on amazon made me want to read it more. Twenty did you actually leave it there just to create a bit of banter ??
Personally Im fucked after one hell of a weekend.
I can’t control what goes up on Amazon, MacD.
More skiiing, was it?
“Anyone who doesn’t like Airplane or Hot Shots is a cunt.”
Agreed.
No Twenty just drinking, We celebrated PAddy’s Day all weekend. Late nights and Early mornings and all of it washed down with Alcohol.
But it was fun.
I spent friday morning puking bile.
The long weekend started early for me.
Hmmm now a 4 hour drive….
They say everyone has one book in them, and I hope that is true of you, Twenty. Na, seriously, brilliant read.
Which is your favourite Airplane?
I like the one where Charlton Heston and George Kennedy skilfully avert airborne tragedy with their awesome piloting skills.
So they only read the first chapter then? They should at least have read the last page just in case. I tend to do that with all books in case I die before I make it to the end.
And Twenty Major is a much better writer than Stephen King, btw. Stephen King is terrible. Although his stories do make good films.
Here’s my review of the book;
If you have ever laughed out loud at the blog, buy it.
If you haven’t, don’t. It’s not for you. You’re a cunt.
My researchers tell me that this is a good book.
We are optimistically looking to get this Mr. Major on the Late Late Show at some point in the near future.
It’d beat interviewing the You’re A Star finalists anyway.
Getting paid to review movies and books makes me a cunt? Result …
Well shite! I didn’t mean to be a spoiler. Snips were more than welcome. I just woke up from being down the legion (My Local) on St’ Paddys days and being a ginger wearing an IRFU team shirt. Well fuck, everyone and their brother felt the need to buy me shots of Jamesons.
I’m better now.
You’re a natural, Harry.
And make hay while the sun shines, Brian.
Mona Cunting Lisa…giggle…still no sign of the book in Galway….?
Monkey Balls and Brian, reviewers are cunts
“This is the kind of stuff that even shoplifters would take back to the bookshop.”
ZING!!
Aye, had me in stitches that one.
Just finished it (First and last chapters inclusive, but read alternatively and then in a circular fashion while pissed on Paddy’s Day)
This book is based on a conspiracy theory that we are being taken over by bland pop music and that only Twenty Major can save the day. I can tell you now, and being a member of the twenty third Illiteratti secret society , that this is in fact true and that this book is indeed a work of true non fiction.
Tom Sharpe meets Flan O’Brien meets Brendan Behan meets Richard Samuel Attenborough, meets Günter Grass, meets the Magic Roundabout, meets William S. Burroughs, meets the Beano and Dandy on , peanuts, batter burgers, acid and Guinness.
Thoroughly enjoyed the mayhem, plot, and careful characterizations of such fictional characters as Damian Rice, BD et al.
Well done
Everyone should listen to GrayDay. He knows.
War…it’s FANtastic!
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