Be careful out there

Posted on | March 14, 2008 | 71 Comments

Today appears to be National Day Of Pedestrians Doing Their Best To Get Run Over By Your Car day.

Mad cunts are playing chicken with traffic all over the city.

It also appears to be Bloke In Front Of You Decides To Chance Going Through The Lights Even Though They’ve Just Turned Red And Gets Stuck In The Middle Of The Junction Day. Which is quite amusing.

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71 Responses to “Be careful out there”

  1. TheDailyMagnet
    March 14th, 2008 @ 3:32 pm

    “Today appears to be National Day Of Pedestrians Doing Their Best To Get Run Over By Your Car day”

    hmmmn – how does that happen unless a vindictive ex is driving your car 20?

  2. Twenty Major
    March 14th, 2008 @ 3:34 pm

    Erm…?

  3. VoiceOfTreason
    March 14th, 2008 @ 3:46 pm

    It also seems to be “Twenty makes his most boring post of the week day”

    Thank Fuck it’s Friday

  4. Twenty Major
    March 14th, 2008 @ 3:51 pm

    You’re telling me…

  5. Sid Trotter
    March 14th, 2008 @ 3:53 pm

    …. what are you telling me?

  6. VoiceOfTreason
    March 14th, 2008 @ 3:56 pm

    I’m only slegging!

    Liked the book by the way.

    Shit, I was polite!!! Fuck you Twenty.

  7. Tinman18
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:00 pm

    According to Google, today is actually “National Potato Chip Day” and also – I’m not making this up -”National Pi Day” -celebrating (? – how) the mathematical neverending number. So 20′s day is more exciting. Especially when its a LUAS junction that they drive into.

  8. Holly
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:02 pm

    Completely off topic but apparently that is allowed – just wanted to say, I bought The Book the other day and am absolutely loving it! Cheers Twenty!

  9. Twenty Major
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:04 pm

    Hurrah!

  10. cruddy b
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:05 pm

    Haha, that’s quite funny cause I was just thinking about this but from the other perspective. I am a pedestrian and it is people in cars who deliberately try to kill me. I’m sure you would.

    Your book never came by the way! I emailed the idiots and they said I have to go to the post office and I did but it wasn’t there so now I have to email them again. Most vexing.

  11. Twenty Major
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:07 pm

    Dodgy postman.

  12. Puerile Pish
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:15 pm

    I will probably be that pedestrian on Monday, I will be the inebriated Scot falling about and muttering wanker under my breath at every passerby. If any of you find me on Monday, please ensure my can of Special Brew is pointing the right way up, and lend me 50c for a cuppa tea,

    Good Weekend y’all

  13. JC Skinner
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:16 pm

    Yesterday was Irate Pricks in Beemers tailgating dangerously day. Actually, so was every day last week. And the week before.

  14. MMN
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:17 pm

    Today is international ‘my last day on the job’ day, so I’m minutes away from getting sloshed on the company ticket.

    Oh yes, there’s many a bottom to slap before this one is over…..

  15. Puerile Pish
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:21 pm

    Mr Skinner, People who drive Beamers are far more busy and important than the rest of us, and they own shares in the roads so are entitled to more space.

    Fuckers.

  16. Tinman18
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:22 pm

    If you go to buy a Beemer, you have to sign a form stating that you ARE an Irate Prick who will tailgate dangerously, otherwise they won’t sell you one.

  17. 10 Park Drive
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:23 pm

    It’s pissing down.

  18. JC Skinner
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:24 pm

    Does the Beemer purchase contract oblige them to play techno with their horns whenever traffic ahead slows to marginally below the speed limit, I wonder?
    That would explain a lot if it did.

  19. Twenty Major
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:25 pm

    Having a bad day, JC?

  20. Nolberto
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:29 pm

    It’s also ‘Steak & Blowjob Day’
    http://www.steakandablowjobday.com/

    So that’s potato chips, steak, pi(e) & blowjobs. Not bad for a friday afternoon.

  21. Tinman18
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:33 pm

    Ok Nolberto, that explains where all the pedestrians are off to without looking where they’re going.

  22. Twenty Major
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:34 pm

    I like steak but there’s no way I’m giving anyone a blow job for one.

  23. Tinman18
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:36 pm

    Not even to MMN who’ll apparently slap your bottom tonight if you want?

  24. Twenty Major
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:47 pm

    Not even…

  25. MMN
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:52 pm

    Drunken grabby-ness is an Irish institution that has saved our small-minded race on more than one occasion.

  26. teaspoonasaurous
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:56 pm

    london tim is a hero. not the forum for praise but he turned my pennies to pounds

  27. Tinman18
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:57 pm

    I’m not knocking drunken grabby-ness, but I’m struggling to imagine what it can have saved our small-minded race from …

  28. PattheRat
    March 14th, 2008 @ 4:58 pm

    He did? Fuck I just thought he was cannon fodder. A week is a long time on this site. Fags to riches he went!

  29. PattheRat
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:00 pm

    Extinction Tim! Alcohol probably saved us too, it definitely saved fat bitches. Who the fuck would ride them if it wasnt for being locked?

  30. Hole In One
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:02 pm

    Nothing wrong with BMW drivers. It is not our fault if a bunch of hippies in old bangers can’t keep up. It is the 21st century. Ps – normally would not grace a s(h)ite like this but got MSN link on the BMW thread.

  31. PattheRat
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:06 pm

    Had a BMW once. Crashed it, sold it – Drank it!

  32. Tinman18
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:08 pm

    Good argument, Pat, I’ll try it out tonight

  33. Tinman18
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:09 pm

    … I mean the argument about grabbyness saving us from extinction, I’m not going to tell fat people that wouldn’t get ridden without alcohol.

  34. PattheRat
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:10 pm

    Should work but on the flip side who would touch us if it wasnt for the demon drink?

  35. PattheRat
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:11 pm

    Ooooh

  36. PattheRat
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:13 pm

    Does anyone else not feel too excited about this weekend knowing that next weekend is even longer or is it just me knowing that I am having a lock in next Friday on the only day (sic) of the year the boozer closes?

  37. PattheRat
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:14 pm

    Come to think of it is anyone else here at the minute except me? Probably all have friends and stuff?
    Cunts!

  38. Tinman18
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:26 pm

    Sorry Pat, we were all off having pie & steaks & stuff, but you were going fine running the site on your own, so we’ve decided to leave you at it.

  39. Anfused
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:36 pm

    Poor Pattherat. BTW I’m a fat bitch. If you know what I’m saying… ;-)

  40. maggot
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:48 pm

    Dumfries in June is the place to be – a week of people lying drunk in the streets.
    Guid Nychburris Festival and it’s climax, Riding of the Marches third saturday in June.

  41. JC Skinner
    March 14th, 2008 @ 5:48 pm

    No, 20. It’s quite a good day actually. I’m just perpetually enraged as you know, and was curious to gauge whether my Beemer twat experience was unique or part of a much wider trend.
    I’m a happy old soul really. I’m counting my blessings that I’m not Tibetan today, actually.
    http://skinflicks.blogspot.com/2008/03/lhasa-is-burning.html

  42. cruddy b
    March 14th, 2008 @ 7:54 pm

    Rat, some people like fat women, they are called “feeders”. I dont think the postman nicked the book as he is a proper injun FOB who doesnt speak english but he is as dark as guinness so maybe that is the connection. I tracked him down and before I even asked him anything he said “no… no”. Maybe he is running some kinda package mafia hmm.

  43. OneForTheRoad
    March 14th, 2008 @ 8:55 pm

    If that was you trying to run me over on Patrick St today, then your car is a heap of shite and the man was green you blind cunt.

    Otherwise, just finished your ‘buke’ and I enjoyed it muchly.

    Then again, I have a reading age of about 6..

  44. Twenty Major
    March 14th, 2008 @ 9:14 pm

    Then again, I have a reading age of about 6..

    That is exactly my market…

  45. Silly Old Sod
    March 14th, 2008 @ 9:14 pm

    Nearly through the book. Will finish it tonight. That’s less than a pound a day!

    You have not had a good day, have you Twenty?

  46. jothemama
    March 14th, 2008 @ 10:32 pm

    God, Twenty, you’ve got your own book club for your own book. It’s like ‘Being John Malcovich’ in here.

  47. Whiskeyintheditch
    March 14th, 2008 @ 11:27 pm

    “Yesterday was Irate Pricks in Beemers tailgating dangerously day. Actually, so was every day last week. And the week before.”

    Next time it happens, pull your handbrake so they don’t see your brakelights. With a bit of luck, you’ll get a hefty claim out of it.

  48. maggot
    March 15th, 2008 @ 12:41 am

    I had a tailgating Beamer though a wall a few years ago one frosty morning – flicked my rear fogs and the cunt braked too hard and lost it – made my day.

  49. laughykate
    March 15th, 2008 @ 5:22 am

    madcuntsmadcuntsmadcunts……………say it really quickly a lot….I like it…it could almost be a war cry.

  50. Monkey Balls
    March 15th, 2008 @ 10:08 am

    But Twenty, I always thought you got around on a Honda 50.
    Can’t say I’m not disappointed.
    That’s my image of you completely shattered.

  51. Twenty Major
    March 15th, 2008 @ 10:43 am

    Sometimes I have to collect goods that are too big to transport on the 50. Only then do I break out the 1974 Volkswagen Scirocco…

  52. Monkey Balls
    March 15th, 2008 @ 11:45 am

    OK, but this Scirocco……Please tell me that you got it badly resprayed in the colours of a 20 Major packet.

    Lie if you have to.

  53. Monkey Balls
    March 15th, 2008 @ 12:07 pm

    That’s a rough book-deal you got there Twenty. You have to collect the returns from the bookshops yourself?

    I presume the Scirocco has a large trailer attached.

  54. eric y
    March 15th, 2008 @ 2:49 pm

    and that seems to be our main sport attraction here at our place jay whitlow is the current dodge-up champion although he has broken nearly every bone in his pitiful body.

  55. itchybollix
    March 15th, 2008 @ 7:48 pm

    potato chip day…reminds me of the journalist in a Donald Westlake novel, Trust Me on This, who came up with the beer and chip diet.

    Tomorrow is The Fall in Dublin; anger management time.

    have a good wet saturday night.

  56. Satchmo
    March 16th, 2008 @ 2:30 am

    Yeah get bertie and co to cross the road and put stevie wonder or mr mcgoo in a beamer and tell them the light is green…and see how them cunts like to wait for an ambulance

  57. steph
    March 16th, 2008 @ 2:48 am

    ST Paddy’s day soon eh? Why on earth do people around the world celebrate a day for the Oirish? I’ll make that my Running Over Stupid Cunts Wearing Green And Saying “To Of Te Mornin to ye” Day.

  58. maggot
    March 16th, 2008 @ 11:08 am

    Musthave been a heavy week-end for our leader – I’ve sacrificed a virgin, let’s see how long before he makes an appearance.

  59. Silly Old Sod
    March 16th, 2008 @ 11:08 am

    Perhaps some of us want to celebrate something warmer than a piss poor stereotype…

  60. itchybollix
    March 16th, 2008 @ 2:10 pm

    The transport system is a fucking joke. Going to a gig tonight; I live right beside Donabate train staion

    Train Times

    6.15 pm
    8.15 pm

    what the fuck – this is 21st century transport system?

    public service – nice lazy job

  61. Monkey Balls
    March 16th, 2008 @ 4:56 pm

    So you’ll be late then Itchy?

    I’ll be watching out for you.

    Don’t forget.

  62. itchybollix
    March 16th, 2008 @ 5:07 pm

    I’ve to get the fucking bus, as Fatima Mansions sang – “only losers take the bus”

    Yeah monkey; i’ll have my dick out; it’ll be the biggest one there – I’ll keep an eye out for you; I gather your balls are fucking huge.

  63. Monkey Balls
    March 16th, 2008 @ 5:51 pm

    No, no, no Itchy. They’re what can only be described as ‘shrunken’.

    I’ll be wearing a green jacket, and drinking Guinness. Probably on my own. Say hello.

  64. itchybollix
    March 16th, 2008 @ 5:59 pm

    You’re not the fella who at the last Fall gig at the pod; not the village,sat beside me and gavin lambe murphy and took the piss out of him for 20 mins?

  65. itchybollix
    March 16th, 2008 @ 6:00 pm

    by the way; I look like george clooney except i’ve red hair, i’m small, fat and bald.

  66. Monkey Balls
    March 16th, 2008 @ 6:01 pm

    Can’t say for sure, and that’s the truth. It does sound like me.

  67. Monkey Balls
    March 16th, 2008 @ 6:03 pm

    You’d better let some of your red hair dangle too then. There’s a fuckin’ league of bald-headed men expected.

  68. Monkey Balls
    March 16th, 2008 @ 6:05 pm

    I’ll make it easy for you; I’ll have 2 pints of Guinness, one in each hand.

  69. itchybollix
    March 16th, 2008 @ 6:09 pm

    monkey..if that was you with gavin lambe i’m very afraid to say the following becuase that fella was fuckin’ boonkers

    there’s 4 of us meeting in the carnival bar at about 8 – 8.30 if you’re at a loose end…I’ll be wearing a white shirt; black jacket and will have my big chunky headphones around my neck-…for the fucking BUS journey; other guy will be red head witha full head of hair; othe rguy WILL look like george clooney; he’s a vg looking fella

    we’ll be reading irish poetry — jopke..

    also wear glasses

    enjoy the riots if we don’t hook up

  70. Monkey Balls
    March 16th, 2008 @ 6:17 pm

    I’m going to head straight in there. Might be meeting a couple of people, and support band looks good. Kinda Black Grapey, with a bit of extra Hip-Hop thrown in.

    Green jacket, 2 pints. That’ll be me.

    And I’ll look for the good-looking bloke who looks really pissed off ‘cos he’s ruined his night by bringing baldy and ginger with him.

  71. itchybollix
    March 16th, 2008 @ 6:26 pm

    two fellas walking around a dublin bar asking

    “itchybollix?”

    “monkeyballs?”

    could be a funny night

    :)

    gl

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