Went to the bank today to deposit a sterling cheque. Queued up. Was told I had to go to the foreign exchange desk as the normal tellers couldn’t deal with sterling cheques. Queued up.
The bloke does all his jiggery-pokery, card swiping, pin-entering stuff.
“That’s grand”, he says. “That’ll take 17 days to clear.”
“What? 17 days?”
“Yeah.”
“How come, with all the technology we have at the moment, it’s going to take 17 days for a sterling cheque, not a cheque made out in some ancient currency, to clear?”
“It just does.”
There you go then. 17 days. That’s a bit shit, isn’t it?
Clears in nanoseconds, Bank gets a free loan of your money for 17 days.
The cunts.
Why not declare yourself a non-resident (you do spend time in Italy I believe) open up a sterling account and get yourself a marks and sparks chargecard.
YOu know where I am going, though if the cheque is only good for a mars bar and lucozade bit pointless then..
So that is seventeen days interest for the bank, who will then inform you in a standard letter (that you are likely to chuck in the bin) that the monthly charge for your super-megatanium account will increase by a further 5 Euros a month forthwith. Yes, that’s right, the same account that was free a couple of years back. Not forgetting they are only charging you a bargain 15.6%APR on your plastic. Don’t get me started Twenty….
oh!
Oh yes! Big gripe of mine this one. I’m with Bank of Ireland, I think they used to be called, ‘bank of cunts’ because that’s what they are.
Once you could set someone up for an internet transfer with a phone call.
Then it took three to five working days for the set-up, but you could make a one-time transfer of up to 500 euro. Fair enough.
Then the one time transfer was gone and you just had to wait three to five working days. And why??? So that they can take your money and make interest on it, the mouldy cunts.
And now the fucking cunts have to send you an activation code! So that will take 7-10 working days sir. At which point I can activate the account. Which will take three to five working days.
So my question is, sports fans, if I have just moved house and want to change address on my bank account, how long do you think it will take before I can use internet banking to transfer rent into the account? This is not a junior cert maths question, the answer is in fact: 15-18 working days. Cunts. CUNTS. FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE,COCKSUCKING CUUUUUNNNNTTTTSSS!!!
So I rang banking 365 and the squeaking brainless idiot said, ‘I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to visit a bank branch to change your address, we can’t do that over the phone’.
Yes definitely cuntish – try a different bank.
There is a 600% difference for o/s cheques fees, and clearance times for 2 diff banks I’m with – you gotta shop around Twenty – none of this shtoopid customer loyalty stuff!
You think that’s bad? When I purchase sterling bank drafts and send them up to mum, they take 5 days to go into the account. They aren’t cheques that need to be checked to see if the account has enough money to cover them – they are bought and paid for at time of issuance and they still take 5 days.
The only reason that I use them instead of cash is that the cash tends to go missing from the envelopes after posting, and the bank drafts are insured and can be replaced for a small fee.
You think that’s bad? When I purchase sterling bank drafts and send them up to mum, they take 5 days to go into the account. They aren’t cheques that need to be checked to see if the account has enough money to cover them – they are bought and paid for at time of issuance and they still take 5 days.
That’s nuts.
my general theory is stay well clear of AIB and BOI, they’re both cunts.
something like 4 million a day in pure profit and they still constantly cut staff and their queues are huge in the banks themselves.
CUNTS.
This hurts me all the time. I live on both sides of the border and hence have to shuffle money between two fucking currencies, giving banks an unearned slice thereof, all the time.
And to add insult (never mind interest) to injury, it is apparently impossible for them to do so in less than a week without my paying a further hefty charge of around 20 euros for ‘electronic transfer’ from my account in one branch of the bank in Ireland to my account in another branch of the same bank on the same island!
Does anyone use that Rabo Direct lot?
Why do you have a sterling cheque in the first place? Our glorious leader didn’t have these problems when he arrived at the bank with his £8000 sterling in cash. Plus it had the added advantage that, depending on what day it was, he could say it was actually (a) 9,500 euros from his gran; (b)5 million zlotys change left over from his hollyers; (c) pennies from heaven; d)none of our business.
He tries to teach us the way, but we heathens will not listen ….
I transfer money regularly between here and the UK, it takes 5 -7 days standard, but miraculously if I pay the hoors 17.50 they can do it in twenty four hours. Using the same fucking system. They are thieves and liars and unfortunately necessary. I have never heard it taking seventeen days to clear a sterling cheque though.
Why is it that when you get to the top of the queue in the bank, that the tellers then decide its a good time to get all their administration done, with their head down, while you stand there fuming??
I have never heard of that in my life, 17 days are you sure? It must have been a building society and not a bank.
I use Rabo but, only for money transfers, I would not issue chq’s from that account. They still have charges. When people are paying you chq’s would you not just tell them you don’t accept chq’s and get them to make payment directly into your account, life would be much easier, you don’t have to wait on chq through the post etc, you get the money quicker and you will make like easier for your accountant. Anyway chq’s will be gone by 2012 so you’ll have to get used to money transfers.
Will they slap you with bank charges ?
2012!? And I was really looking forward to using cheques at the olympics, cant remember last time I got to cash a cheque mind so stop complaining!
Why when I get to a cashpoint am I stuck behind someone who decides to do the international banking for a small tax haven on the machine, taking about twenty minutes. Why can’t people just take out cash and fuck off thus affording me more drinking time.
If you move house don’t move your branch account if it’s with the same bank. Unless you regularly lodge cheques there’s no point – Not my advice – BOI’s advice. It’s easier to switch your account to a different bank.
Dead right, Puerile Pish, they’re called Drinklink for a reason.
I use Rabo, 20. They’re grand for savings or investment in their small range of equity-based products, but they can’t replace a proper current account.
London Tims horse was third at 25/1,
So we cant say he is a complete Cunt…
next time send your sterling cheques to me…….I’ll clear it for you for 25% in 3 days…….honest..
25%, you’re as bad as a bank, you cunt.
“Will they slap you with bank charges”
I use the money mover and I have a savings account with them. You need to have a primary bank account, your normal current account will do, lodgements and transfers between this and your Rabo account are not subject to bank charges but I am pretty sure that lodgement of foreign currency would incur a nominal charge. I will check and let you know.
Like JC said you still need a primary bank account, Robo is good if you transfer money regularly.
Can people transfer money directly to your Rabo account from abroad?
Yes, but you can do that with any Irish account as well. Like Perm TSB, they have no bank charges, they also have a good online banking system. The main benifit of Rabo would be if you are transfering a signifigant amount of money, like a few k, you transfer funds on a regular basis or if you have a savings account with them as their interes rate is usually good. Another thing if it is workie related stuff you should have a seperate account from your personal current account anyway so a Rabo account would serve a purpose here also.
financial panther, eh?
I cashed a sterling check into an account with the ACC and it cleared in no time.
That said it’s the same here in the US. The minute you deal with foreign currency it becomes a pain in the arse. I used paypal for transferring, and it clears immediately. For example I owed my brother some money, he’s in Ireland, I paypalled him the money in $’s he got it immediately and transferred it to his bank, it all took 10 minutes.
One more thing all you need for anyone to transfer money into your account is you bank name, sort code and account number. The thing is depending on the bank you are in the amount of money the customer/debtor/payer or whatever you want to call it will have to pay will vary. That is why people are reluctant to do it, a chq book will cost 6 Euro an individual transfer may cost the payer significantly more, but that is not your problem and you should insist they pay you by transfer. Another thing, you know you will have to pay a few quid on that GBP for the bank changing it.
Didn’t some bloke in England get so sacked off at his bank that he changed his name to somthing like “halifax are cunts” by deed pole?
Then brought his shiny new name into halifax and opened an account. Saw picture of him in the papers with a halifax cheque book with the account holders name printed in as “Halifax are cunts”.
May not have been halifax/cunts, but you get the idea.
I just transferred some money from my US account to my brother’s Bank of Scotland account. It was a direct acc. to acc. transfer mind and no cheques were involved but it was done in 8 hours. And no fee – that was what got me. I’ve wired money before and there’s always been a fee but this time nada. It was fab.
But, I had a Colorado issued dollar cheque to deposit the other week and that took 5 business days to clear. Cheques, like people have said, are used to enmire the whole process down in a chequey bog so’s the bank has time to turn a buck off it. Scam. They should be called to account for it (hoho).
John Mc – have used Paypal before. Not sure I’d trust it with too much money though.
Sam, haha. You could inspire a whole host of bank puns but I doubt anyone’s got the interest.
Twenty
I used it a bunch last year for sizable sums (up to 2K) and it works fine. I needed to accept credit card payments so I had to open a business account which has a monthly cost. I have also used it for ebay payments,, (bad guitar habit), again it works very smoothly.
As far as I know Paypal is regulated by the UK financial regulator. So it is just as safe as an Irish bank if not safer.
I’m outta here, happy banking!
CUrreNT acCoUNT! Damn!
Ulster Bank, now theres another shower of absolute ball licking cuntbags. Try setting up direct debits or close them with this band of useless twats. You’ll be pulling your hair out in no time.
I believe they’re Natwest in the U.K. (someone correct me if I’m wrong there) and exchanging currency in there was like having Eddie Hobbs give you a full body cavity search while bullshitting you with that horrible fucking Cork accent of his.
Nowadays I just use an online bank, sounds iffy but there’s way more pros than cons.
If you’re transferring money over borders (i.e. UK to Ireland) you don’t just need a sort code and account number, you need an IBAN and a SWIFT. The charges are minimal if you don’t go for priority, which means you’ll get the cash in 5-7 working days depending on the bank. The intl transfers have to be done in branch though as it’s a different form, it can’t be done online from the UK.
Well that what you get for betting in guinnies you bally scoundrel.
I don’t pay you a half-crown and a thruppeny bit a month to reveal my financial dealings on here, Lung.
Money chatter. And rather knowledgable money chatter at that. Probaby the most revolting set of comments I’ve ever read on this blog.
This is rapidly becoming a consumer affairs forum.
stop the madness.
think of the children.
Do the children have junior saver accounts?
Nobody in the UK ever ask me for IBAN and the US don’t use it, it is on you bank statement anyway. The point is getting someone to pay directly into your bank is not a big deal. Twenty doesn’t need to worry about what they have to do to transfer the money to him, once he provides his bank details to the hit man they can pay him. Plus if you are with Rabo or even the likes of the Permanent TSB you can transfer money wherever you like., just tell them you want that facility and you should have not bother. It is fairly straight forward.
Incidentally, it cost my 1340 Euro to get my car serviced today. That fucker is definitely getting a chq, one of the post-dated variety.
Thinking about this – it may break the Good Friday Agreement.
1340 – ouch. Buy a pony instead.
What have you got a Rolls Royce. I got a whole car for less than that.
Wunch o’ bankers
The mirror on reflection
Has climbed back upon the wall
You stay up all night, and then it dawns on you.
Two birds in the bush are worth one in the bum.
Does anyone use that Rabo Direct lot?
Do they finally have current accounts?
Ok banking back home: (Netherlands; where Rabobank is from)
Transfer between same banks. Not branches, banks. 1 nanosecond. and it’s done. other party has their money. How?
You go to their website, log in, transfer whatever you want, receive a text with a code, type in code. Done.
Here: you setup your account, give your mobile number etc. want to transfer money, you have to wait for a letter with a code……
When I first arrived in Ireland you couldn’t even transfer money abroad over electronic banking.
Luckily the BOI branch in Blanch has a special queue for international transfer. I would hate to stand in the normal queue. And they come over to my work once a week. Anything is just taken care of in an instant at work, while at the branch it needs checking, double checking and lots of other hassle.
Best example I had in the branch was when I had my international transfer document all filled out and copied as well. I hand them over. 1 for them, 1 for me as proof. Girl behind it goes looking which is the original. They’re copies… “Yes but which is the original?” Does it matter?
Other time there was a bloke who actually made a different copy, stamped it and gave it back. I had my copy in my hand, why not just stamp that one????
Fuckers. Now the electronic banking isn’t so bad anymore, apart from sending money to somebody new, but I stay clear of the branch as much as possible.
But if Rabo is starting with current accounts and just copy their Dutch system over here. Oh boy, I’ll switch accounts in an instant. Save (digipass: They give you a code, you type it in the digipass and give the receiving code. And yes the digipass is password protected), easy and simple.
Just checked. Rabodirect has some sort of a current account, but they still advice you to keep your current account with your current bank. It’s just to transfer between their savings account and the current account with the other bank. Damn. Anybody more news about that?
In fairness given the fact that it takes AIB five WORKING days to clear a BOI cheque to my account (seven if carol has her period) maybe you didn’t do so bad?
its niot the interest on keeping they money they are after…
the rules say they must keep 20% (or something close?) on deposit in the safe at any one time so they can provide cash if there is a demand.
they play bank roulette with the rest.
so what do they do… they keep *all* of the cash in the safe and play roulette with 5 *times* the amount.
so its not 17 days little interest you & i get on twenty’s sterling cheque… oh no …its 5 times the amount.
Oh my god. This is all so depressing. I lodged a cheque for $50, it took 20 WORKING days to clear, and I got €30. What a joyous experience.
So now I know that you can not only have ahealthy birthing experience in the Netherlands, but a healthy banking experience too – probably both form the comfort of your own home, possibly even at the same time?
… the seventeen days… a time where even the mighty Chronos falters, and where the serpent Jormunand is benighted by fear ; a time beyond which no man or creature has lived, and, at the end of this darkness… a shit exchange rate plus commission!…
I reckon I was behind you in the line this morning. I can sympathise – I had to come in to withdraw my rent, walk twenty yards and deposit it in the PTSB taking five minutes in total instead of the ten working days they quoted me over the phone when I tried to set up a standing order. Pricks.
Fuck them, it just made it all the more enjoyable to watch bank shares shed 50% of their value in the last 9 months.
It also, rather wonderfully, takes a few days for money to make its way from an AIB bank account to an AIB credit card. Presumably it has to be sent to Donegal via carrier pigeon, or something.
look I cant be arsed typing my details into anybody elses blog, so look YOUR ALL GREAT. I tried posting a comment on a different blog, but its too much effort. This site saves my info, and I dont have to do that cuntish thing of reading the wavey writing and retyping it to avoid spamming or whatever??? I dont have it on my blog, and I dont get any spam comments. In fact…
Good night.
U bank with AIB too?
I have a Sterling account with AIB. Do you know what they now do??? If I want to withdraw Sterling pounds from my sterling account they translate it into Euros and then back into Sterling again!! Fucking useless twats. I see that you can login to internet banking in BOI for both NI and the Free State from here, so I would advise opening a Sterling account with them…which you can then use internet banking for
Cheques from the US in dollars deposited to the National Irish Bank clear in 7 days.
NIB is Danish.
In the US, cheques clear locally (within the state)in one day, three days if out-of-state.
What ever happened to the European Clearing house we were promised?
I cheque I wrote to someone in Italy took two months to clear.
Perhaps a more suitable title for this post would be “My rant To jew”, which is the only barely acceptable anagram of Twenty Major that I can think of.
I’ll get me coat.