Did you ever meet a cunt who just looks like a cunt from the moment you meet him? And you know he’s a cunt because he looks at you like you’re the cunt. And you know that he knows you know he’s a cunt and just because of that he behaves like a super-cunt and then looks at you as if to say ‘Well, what did you expect?’.
I met one of those cunts today. And he did me wrong. Deliberately. And now I am filled with hate and a toasted cheese sandwich.
I hope his fucking head falls off.
You met Bono?
He met London Tim
David Gray’s head is due to fall off one of the days
Many’s the business meeting has kicked off with those exact sentiments, minus the toasted sandwich.
Are you talking about the slack-jawed deli-assistant in Centra who made you said toasted cheese sarnie?
Uhh, writing I meant
You haven’t used cunt much for a while but you sure have made up for it today, and it seems to give you an appetite as well.
The word cunt loses much of its impact if overused.
You cunt
Yeah, and I spat in yer fuckin’ sandwich too, CUNT!
I had Toasted Onion Bagels and strawberry jam for lunch. Sadly I’d run out of marmite.
Didn’t realise there was so much hate in toasted cheese sandwiches. Now I know where all my hate is coming from, I’m going to amend my diet. Thanks, 20.
My first instinct on people is never wrong. Once, I gave somebody the benefit of the doubt. Wrong. She turned out to be a cunt too but it’s grand because the only person who likes her is her husband (and I could be wrong on that too); she has ZERO friends and everyone I know calls a cunt too; we can’t all be wrong.
The only good thing is that the majority of people are not cunts; you just remember the ones who are and they skew your thinking.
Have a nice w/end everybody; fuck the begrudgers.
Speaking of cunts, if the stumpy mocassin and bluetooth earpiece wearing little shite who skipped the queue for the car park ticket thingy in swords yesterday just because he is used to his minions not objecting is reading this…
remember the lad who argued with you and told you to piss off? he also spat on your back.
a right green gollier.
nice.
speaking of cunts I think DaleTheMoron is back….
The say you have 7 seconds to form a first impression. That hardly gives me enough time to but the bottle back in the drawer.
Toasted cheese sandwiches are seriously underestimated.
Cunts are less so.
Be warned. There are Welsh people all over town. One of them even asked me for directions. He won;t make that mistake again, the now noseless cunt.
Dour cunts them taffies.
jeasus twenty ..great to hear you still have raw hate keeping those old bones strong and steady …
dont let the fucking bastards grind you down ..
I spent a two year stint banged up in brostel and every day I rubbed and daubed my excrement on the walls of me cell … them screws were gagging every time they opened me hatch. haha
I want to die roaring and screaming just like the passengers in my grandads car !
I think only travellers live in Wales. Or the place only has one road or something, which is why they all stopped.. travelling and em… settled?
Anyway if you settle for Wales you deserve every leek-smelling thing you get. They’re thieves and beggars and poverty is such a turn off, seriously.
Mostly though I’m just glad the office got the internet connection back up. The last day and a half has been like working in the 1970s. I even rang 11811 a couple of times. On the marconi device with the big dial.
By now of course you will all have stopped reading so I am free at last to call you all cunts as this appears to be the favoured word of the day, and how fortunate that is. Right, off to the softcore next….
I am not a fan of Wales, but I can see fucking travellers from my office and I am in an industrial estate, they are brilliant because they have been robbing Woodies blind and they have more plants in pots than the garden section they were robbed from.
Great story.
Friend of mine is driving along the road to Bettystown, passes a couple of caravans and just a little further on, a really sweet deck-chair with arm rests and everything.
So he steals it on them. Robbing from travellers. Nice.
A fun game to play in the pub is to ring 11811 and place bets on what the person who answers name is.
Ok maybe not.
SuperGrover now you are not only a cunt but a proper cunt.
Good one though
I like Wales.
Groan, two of the. worst. cunts. I ever met I picked within the first three seconds. Yay for that Bastard-Face-like animal instinct.
I knew a girl from Wales once. Everytime she had a few drinks on her, she stripped down to her undies and started dancing.
Do they not have TV over there?
J5, now that is a fun game it’s like everything else about you, if your life is that boring that you have to spend so much time thinking up silly little lines like an unsure teenager , then maybe you should consider throwing yourself of something very high or throwing yourself into something very deep but get drunk first, I very much doubt if you’d have the imagination to do it sober.
You know, London Tim, I’d say you were having a go at Johnny 5 there, but I might be drunk or it might be the way you run your sentences together.
Maybe you’re asking him out though. Lots of people have done that. He sure is a heart-breaker.
what’s with this tim lad? bit of a header or something?
Transexual Tim, you could be getting a good fisting if you continue like that.
Dose he like black gays?
he sure dose
Tim’s father was some soldiers.
I saw them knackers with the plants earlier on, and I thought at least they’r not stuck in a fucking office in a no hope cunt of a job like some of us.
Isn’t that true and they will soon be given a lump sum to move on to allow for the Luas extension, I may getmeself a caravan and a slash hook and take up piking.
So London Tim likes getting fisted by black gay soldiers?
So your job is not much good either, shite caper eh.
‘speaking of cunts I think DaleTheMoron is back….’
how do ya know?
Speaking of cunts – can anyone tell me what the proper collective noun for cunts is? Shower of / Pack of
I knew a girl from Wales once. Everytime she had a few drinks on her, she stripped down to her undies and started dancing.
Welsh girls don’t wear undies – she must have learned about them in that London.
The proper collective noun is Dáil.
gaggle
or shoal or litter
40 mins til pints.
I knew a girl from Wales once. Everytime she had a few drinks on her, she stripped down to her undies and started dancing.
Was she good looking?
Is she fat?
Where is she now?
What does she drink?
Dessiegee
It’s a flange of cunts
Back to the Welsh: my girlfriend got sacked for having a blog about five years ago. She referred to her bosses husband as a “Welsh Twat” she was then sacked for bringing the company into disrepute despite the fact she never mentioned the company by name anywhere. In short the Welsh are Twats.
Welsh girls are extremely easy, two places in the world to be gauranteed a ride (without paying for it) , Cardiff and Newcastle
They moved Newcastle to Wales ?
Tim, it’s worth remembering here that I actually AM an unsure teenager.
If I suck your dick can I be gay too?
What price Wales in Ireland 2to1 here not good enough.
For a Londoner, Tim, your grasp of the English language is rather shocking. Unlike your grasp of your partners cock, you dirty fecker.
Always remember, they’re all cunts. Someone told me that once.
“What price Wales in Ireland 2to1 here not good enough.”
eh?
Alright London Tim. Speak English yeah? Well Jackson. You a gay? Totally coincimental!
J5,you will always be a gobshite you fucking idiot!
Excellent use of an exclamation mark there. Well in.
Than you 10 Park Drive – It’s official “A Flange of Cunts” it is. Sounds about right. That’s been wrecking my head for ages. I’m sure i’ll be using it tommorow when i’m dissing all the rugger buggers
“dissing” is a word only spoken by cunts.
Unless they’re black I suppose, black people on tv are supposed to have poor english (I’ve learned this from MTV, which is for cunts too).
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband, “I must confess something, I was once a hooker”.
“Thats alright” said the husband “your past is your past and anyway I have to admit I find it quiet erotic, tell me more about it.The wife replied “Ok, my name was John and I played for munster
How many fifteen year olds today actually know what the M stands for in MTV?
TM did you have this encounter and toasted sandwich in a dublin Pub?
All Barmen automatically take everybody for cunts, until otherwise proven, comes from being complete and utter cunts themselves…
I speak from experience
of been a cunt or a barman or both
both
TM did you have this encounter and toasted sandwich in a dublin Pub?
No, a grimy office.
“No a grimy office”
The fuckers gone and got himself an agent
Speaking as a cunt in Wales… not a welsh cunt, but a cunt nonetheless.. I really love it when cunts from other banana republics on the western fringes of europe sound off about Wales. But, more importantly where would this post have been without the “Welsh Rarebit” that twenty sought his solace in the first place eh?
Oh Yes and as a non-Welsh cunt in Wales who doesn’t give a fig about Rugby. It looks like there will be a lot of happy, dour, noseless and knickerless cunts tomorrow afternoon…
Why didn’t you shove the toasted sandwich up his nostrils?
I wouldn’t waste a good toasted cheese sandwich on him. Anyway, I made that when I got home.
Oh. I wrongly connected the CUNT and the sandwich
Ireland will kick welsh asses tomorrow
Does he read your Blog, hope so….
Puh, you are just making fun of Wales achos y fore, mae Cymru yn mynd i cachu mawr ar Iwerddon. Ahh yeah, Wales 32, Ireland – 15, ma prediction, eat it.
ya what
That sounds like a monday moment.
Let’s not lose sight of what’s really important here, and that is did you use a toasted sandwich maker? The king of cool kitchen appliances when it arrived on the scene…. and a godsend to the munchies..with grooves.
That was a very Derek and Clivey post today. But perhaps with more direction :)
have to say..i am slightly disappointed..i have been looking for a good blog..an irish blog..even a dublin blog..and i was told this one was good..but the topic for today about meeting a cunt..is very weak..we all meet cunts..also cunt is such an english phrase..why not just call him a ballox..much meatier..more direct..even the word ballox goes straight to the point..so..maybe i am not a good blogger..or am i missing the whole gist of this blogthing..
ye can’t call him a bollox if he’s a cunt.
a cunt’s a cunt. there’s a big difference
What’s a ballox? Is it anything like a bollix?
well…you can spell it several ways..i thought that us dubs would hate the london expression…the way they say “you facking cant”..maybe i’m wrong..
I’m sure an arse licking JOCK, will tell you all, what these words mean and how they should be pronounced.
Let’s not lose sight of what’s really important here, and that is did you use a toasted sandwich maker?
Of course. No kitchen is complete without a Breville.
betty, southsider = bollox
northsider = bollix
and if your on the bridge its ah fuck
here endeth the lesson
London Tim, here’s an English lesson for you;
It’s not :
“I’m sure an arse licking JOCK, will tell you all, what these words mean and how they should be pronounced.”
It’s: I sure am an arse licking fist-jockey, and have no idea what I’m talking about.
If You are referring to me Tim, yes I am a Jock and for the right money I will lick arse, but I have several advantages over you:
1) My name is not as gay as a picnic basket
2) I am not a cunt of the highest order
3) I am Scots
I am now urging you all to hasten global warming so London is flooded. I am off to the pikeys to ask them to rob me ten patio heaters which I will burn day and night.
Bollocks
Puerile don’t worry about flooding London we’ll get the boys in from Aldershot they’ll soon get it pumped out, then our civil engineering company will build new flood barriers and wait for it to happen again, everybody happy.