I know you and you know I know you
Did you ever meet a cunt who just looks like a cunt from the moment you meet him? And you know he’s a cunt because he looks at you like you’re the cunt. And you know that he knows you know he’s a cunt and just because of that he behaves like a super-cunt and then looks at you as if to say ‘Well, what did you expect?’.
I met one of those cunts today. And he did me wrong. Deliberately. And now I am filled with hate and a toasted cheese sandwich.
I hope his fucking head falls off.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
You met Bono?
March 7th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
He met London Tim
March 7th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
David Gray’s head is due to fall off one of the days
March 7th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Many’s the business meeting has kicked off with those exact sentiments, minus the toasted sandwich.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Are you talking about the slack-jawed deli-assistant in Centra who made you said toasted cheese sarnie?
March 7th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Uhh, writing I meant
March 7th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
You haven’t used cunt much for a while but you sure have made up for it today, and it seems to give you an appetite as well.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
The word cunt loses much of its impact if overused.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
You cunt
March 7th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Yeah, and I spat in yer fuckin’ sandwich too, CUNT!
March 7th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I had Toasted Onion Bagels and strawberry jam for lunch. Sadly I’d run out of marmite.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Didn’t realise there was so much hate in toasted cheese sandwiches. Now I know where all my hate is coming from, I’m going to amend my diet. Thanks, 20.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
My first instinct on people is never wrong. Once, I gave somebody the benefit of the doubt. Wrong. She turned out to be a cunt too but it’s grand because the only person who likes her is her husband (and I could be wrong on that too); she has ZERO friends and everyone I know calls a cunt too; we can’t all be wrong.
The only good thing is that the majority of people are not cunts; you just remember the ones who are and they skew your thinking.
Have a nice w/end everybody; fuck the begrudgers.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Speaking of cunts, if the stumpy mocassin and bluetooth earpiece wearing little shite who skipped the queue for the car park ticket thingy in swords yesterday just because he is used to his minions not objecting is reading this…
remember the lad who argued with you and told you to piss off? he also spat on your back.
a right green gollier.
nice.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
speaking of cunts I think DaleTheMoron is back….
March 7th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
The say you have 7 seconds to form a first impression. That hardly gives me enough time to but the bottle back in the drawer.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Toasted cheese sandwiches are seriously underestimated.
Cunts are less so.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Be warned. There are Welsh people all over town. One of them even asked me for directions. He won;t make that mistake again, the now noseless cunt.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Dour cunts them taffies.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
jeasus twenty ..great to hear you still have raw hate keeping those old bones strong and steady …
dont let the fucking bastards grind you down ..
I spent a two year stint banged up in brostel and every day I rubbed and daubed my excrement on the walls of me cell … them screws were gagging every time they opened me hatch. haha
I want to die roaring and screaming just like the passengers in my grandads car !
March 7th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I think only travellers live in Wales. Or the place only has one road or something, which is why they all stopped.. travelling and em… settled?
Anyway if you settle for Wales you deserve every leek-smelling thing you get. They’re thieves and beggars and poverty is such a turn off, seriously.
Mostly though I’m just glad the office got the internet connection back up. The last day and a half has been like working in the 1970s. I even rang 11811 a couple of times. On the marconi device with the big dial.
By now of course you will all have stopped reading so I am free at last to call you all cunts as this appears to be the favoured word of the day, and how fortunate that is. Right, off to the softcore next….
March 7th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I am not a fan of Wales, but I can see fucking travellers from my office and I am in an industrial estate, they are brilliant because they have been robbing Woodies blind and they have more plants in pots than the garden section they were robbed from.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Great story.
Friend of mine is driving along the road to Bettystown, passes a couple of caravans and just a little further on, a really sweet deck-chair with arm rests and everything.
So he steals it on them. Robbing from travellers. Nice.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
A fun game to play in the pub is to ring 11811 and place bets on what the person who answers name is.
Ok maybe not.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
SuperGrover now you are not only a cunt but a proper cunt.
Good one though
March 7th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I like Wales.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Groan, two of the. worst. cunts. I ever met I picked within the first three seconds. Yay for that Bastard-Face-like animal instinct.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I knew a girl from Wales once. Everytime she had a few drinks on her, she stripped down to her undies and started dancing.
Do they not have TV over there?
March 7th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
J5, now that is a fun game it’s like everything else about you, if your life is that boring that you have to spend so much time thinking up silly little lines like an unsure teenager , then maybe you should consider throwing yourself of something very high or throwing yourself into something very deep but get drunk first, I very much doubt if you’d have the imagination to do it sober.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
You know, London Tim, I’d say you were having a go at Johnny 5 there, but I might be drunk or it might be the way you run your sentences together.
Maybe you’re asking him out though. Lots of people have done that. He sure is a heart-breaker.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
what’s with this tim lad? bit of a header or something?
March 7th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Transexual Tim, you could be getting a good fisting if you continue like that.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Dose he like black gays?
March 7th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
he sure dose
March 7th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Tim’s father was some soldiers.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I saw them knackers with the plants earlier on, and I thought at least they’r not stuck in a fucking office in a no hope cunt of a job like some of us.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Isn’t that true and they will soon be given a lump sum to move on to allow for the Luas extension, I may getmeself a caravan and a slash hook and take up piking.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
So London Tim likes getting fisted by black gay soldiers?
March 7th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
So your job is not much good either, shite caper eh.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
’speaking of cunts I think DaleTheMoron is back….’
how do ya know?
March 7th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Speaking of cunts – can anyone tell me what the proper collective noun for cunts is? Shower of / Pack of
March 7th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
I knew a girl from Wales once. Everytime she had a few drinks on her, she stripped down to her undies and started dancing.
Welsh girls don’t wear undies – she must have learned about them in that London.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
The proper collective noun is Dáil.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
gaggle
March 7th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
or shoal or litter
March 7th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
40 mins til pints.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I knew a girl from Wales once. Everytime she had a few drinks on her, she stripped down to her undies and started dancing.
Was she good looking?
Is she fat?
Where is she now?
What does she drink?
March 7th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Dessiegee
It’s a flange of cunts
March 7th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Back to the Welsh: my girlfriend got sacked for having a blog about five years ago. She referred to her bosses husband as a “Welsh Twat” she was then sacked for bringing the company into disrepute despite the fact she never mentioned the company by name anywhere. In short the Welsh are Twats.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Welsh girls are extremely easy, two places in the world to be gauranteed a ride (without paying for it) , Cardiff and Newcastle
March 7th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
They moved Newcastle to Wales ?
March 7th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Tim, it’s worth remembering here that I actually AM an unsure teenager.
If I suck your dick can I be gay too?
March 7th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
What price Wales in Ireland 2to1 here not good enough.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
For a Londoner, Tim, your grasp of the English language is rather shocking. Unlike your grasp of your partners cock, you dirty fecker.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Always remember, they’re all cunts. Someone told me that once.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
“What price Wales in Ireland 2to1 here not good enough.”
eh?
March 7th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Alright London Tim. Speak English yeah? Well Jackson. You a gay? Totally coincimental!
March 7th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
J5,you will always be a gobshite you fucking idiot!
March 7th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Excellent use of an exclamation mark there. Well in.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Than you 10 Park Drive – It’s official “A Flange of Cunts” it is. Sounds about right. That’s been wrecking my head for ages. I’m sure i’ll be using it tommorow when i’m dissing all the rugger buggers
March 7th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
“dissing” is a word only spoken by cunts.
Unless they’re black I suppose, black people on tv are supposed to have poor english (I’ve learned this from MTV, which is for cunts too).
March 7th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband, “I must confess something, I was once a hooker”.
“Thats alright” said the husband “your past is your past and anyway I have to admit I find it quiet erotic, tell me more about it.The wife replied “Ok, my name was John and I played for munster
March 7th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
How many fifteen year olds today actually know what the M stands for in MTV?
March 7th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
TM did you have this encounter and toasted sandwich in a dublin Pub?
All Barmen automatically take everybody for cunts, until otherwise proven, comes from being complete and utter cunts themselves…
I speak from experience
March 7th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
of been a cunt or a barman or both
March 7th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
both
March 7th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
TM did you have this encounter and toasted sandwich in a dublin Pub?
No, a grimy office.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
“No a grimy office”
The fuckers gone and got himself an agent
March 7th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Speaking as a cunt in Wales… not a welsh cunt, but a cunt nonetheless.. I really love it when cunts from other banana republics on the western fringes of europe sound off about Wales. But, more importantly where would this post have been without the “Welsh Rarebit” that twenty sought his solace in the first place eh?
Oh Yes and as a non-Welsh cunt in Wales who doesn’t give a fig about Rugby. It looks like there will be a lot of happy, dour, noseless and knickerless cunts tomorrow afternoon…
March 7th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Why didn’t you shove the toasted sandwich up his nostrils?
March 7th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
I wouldn’t waste a good toasted cheese sandwich on him. Anyway, I made that when I got home.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Oh. I wrongly connected the CUNT and the sandwich
March 7th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Ireland will kick welsh asses tomorrow
March 7th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Does he read your Blog, hope so….
March 7th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Puh, you are just making fun of Wales achos y fore, mae Cymru yn mynd i cachu mawr ar Iwerddon. Ahh yeah, Wales 32, Ireland – 15, ma prediction, eat it.
March 7th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
ya what
March 7th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
That sounds like a monday moment.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Let’s not lose sight of what’s really important here, and that is did you use a toasted sandwich maker? The king of cool kitchen appliances when it arrived on the scene…. and a godsend to the munchies..with grooves.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
That was a very Derek and Clivey post today. But perhaps with more direction :)
March 7th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
have to say..i am slightly disappointed..i have been looking for a good blog..an irish blog..even a dublin blog..and i was told this one was good..but the topic for today about meeting a cunt..is very weak..we all meet cunts..also cunt is such an english phrase..why not just call him a ballox..much meatier..more direct..even the word ballox goes straight to the point..so..maybe i am not a good blogger..or am i missing the whole gist of this blogthing..
March 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
ye can’t call him a bollox if he’s a cunt.
a cunt’s a cunt. there’s a big difference
March 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
What’s a ballox? Is it anything like a bollix?
March 7th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
well…you can spell it several ways..i thought that us dubs would hate the london expression…the way they say “you facking cant”..maybe i’m wrong..
March 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
I’m sure an arse licking JOCK, will tell you all, what these words mean and how they should be pronounced.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Let’s not lose sight of what’s really important here, and that is did you use a toasted sandwich maker?
Of course. No kitchen is complete without a Breville.
March 7th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
betty, southsider = bollox
northsider = bollix
and if your on the bridge its ah fuck
here endeth the lesson
March 8th, 2008 at 9:54 am
London Tim, here’s an English lesson for you;
It’s not :
“I’m sure an arse licking JOCK, will tell you all, what these words mean and how they should be pronounced.”
It’s: I sure am an arse licking fist-jockey, and have no idea what I’m talking about.
March 8th, 2008 at 11:38 am
If You are referring to me Tim, yes I am a Jock and for the right money I will lick arse, but I have several advantages over you:
1) My name is not as gay as a picnic basket
2) I am not a cunt of the highest order
3) I am Scots
I am now urging you all to hasten global warming so London is flooded. I am off to the pikeys to ask them to rob me ten patio heaters which I will burn day and night.
March 8th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Bollocks
March 8th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Puerile don’t worry about flooding London we’ll get the boys in from Aldershot they’ll soon get it pumped out, then our civil engineering company will build new flood barriers and wait for it to happen again, everybody happy.