“You are so small compared to me”, said the American blogger to the Irish blogger.
“Well, that might be because you come from a country of 250m people whereas I come from a small island of around 6m people.”
“Nobody really cares about what you write apart from your local audience”.
“That might just because Ireland’s actions rarely resonate on an international level. For example, we don’t find ourselves constantly at war in the furthest reaches of the globes for various spurious reasons. The decisions our politicians make have little or no impact on the world but those made by the American administration can potentially affect us all.”
“I have got venture capital and other funding and I employ a team of writers who all make their living from blogging.”
“Good for you. I don’t. I don’t have the audience to justify any of those things. Unless I was to start writing about something American, like entertainment or American politics. But when there are so many others which much more expertise in those areas than me then why would I bother?”
“You don’t make a difference to anybody. You’re not important.”
“My mum thinks I’m important. The few readers I do get, trivial as those figures might be compared to yours, like what I do. It may not be ‘important’ to you but you have to look at it from a different perspective, don’t you?”
“You’re all nerds, geeks and technie nimrods. In America everyone knows what a blog is.”
“We’re not all nerds, you know. That’s really a rather lazy generalisation. It’d be sort of like saying all journalists are alcoholic hacks and that would be wrong.”
“You Irish bloggers lack intelligence. I read that somewhere. Compared to American bloggers you are all lightweights.”
“Compared to most Americans we are lightweights and not just because you’re all fat cunts. See what I did there? Yes, a joke. But if you want to compare Americans and Irish in almost every creative field we are lightweights. We have authors who sell books but not as many as James Patterson or Stephen King, we have actors who make big films but none as big as Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, we have celebrities who do fuck all to be famous but none of whom do as much fuck all as Paris Hilton, we have film directors who direct but never films as big as those of George Lucas or Steven Spielberg.”
“What about U2?”
“The rare exception.”
“So what you’re saying is that due to fact your country is much smaller, much more inward looking and overall much less important and influential politically, culturally and economically that making a comparison between Irish bloggers and American bloggers is disingenuous, at best?”
“Quite so.”
“Well, I can accept that. Now I’m off to eat a 3lb rib-eye steak before posting inane pictures of celebrities with scrawling white writing on them in the form of bitchy, zinging comments before going to read that site with all those hilarious cat pictures and captions.”
“You keep on keeping on there.”
“you have to look it from a different perspective, don’t you?”
missing an “at” there champ.
Zing.
Not any more. Kapow.
Morning Twenty – before any shinners complain – the Island has a population of around 6 million, the Republic having nearly 4.5 million and the UK part about 1.7 million.
Right, I shall update that. Thanks for the censustastic info.
It’s terrible the way we slag off the Americans.
Surely not ALL of them are idiots. There must be one or two that are OK.
Fucked if I know how to find ‘em.
Fat cunts.
Holy Mother of God, who peed in your Cheerios this morning?
You get read in a lot more places than you or any fat fuckin Yank might think, I have read and commented on you’re blog from many different parts of Europe and Africa, Moroco, Tunisia, Spain, Germany, Norway,Belgium, France, Luxemburg, England, Wales, Scotland, NIreland, Ireland and Cavan.
I don’t think he’s slagging off Americans, Monkeyballs.
But I am. I just can’t stop it.
Americans can suck my ball-sack. Specifically Scarlett Johanssen and Jessica Alba. Pretty please?
Agh it’s the auld where’s Austria/Australia chestnut with them!!!! Wait ’til the 17th and all the money the Ra will get (sic).
I was told recently, (by an American), that Americans have a sense of humour, otherwise they wouldn’t have elected Dubya, twice.
Yeah, right! Fuckin’ hilarious!
Said the Scot to the Yank:
You have such a big country but we invented your Navy,Penicillin,Tar Macadam , The Breechloading Rifle.. shall I go on..
No interrupted the Irishman we invented the ejector seat, the first submarine, the hypodermic syringe,the first monorail ..shall I go on..
But my blog is better than yours said the Yank.
Talk about putting the boot in.
There does seem to be an awful whiff of collusion about this though.
You let Kathy Foley in the Sunday Times wind you up? I’m shocked.
ah. i thought you were on about the one i ran into at the awards.
and then ran away from.
I think we are straying off the point here (which is in fact illegal). It is true that American audiences are vastly larger and that comparisons between Irish and American Blogs are disingenous but they are stupid and fat or stupid and skinny so that’s that.
By the way if you ever want to feel better than your richer, better looking American brethren just ask them where any city in Europe actually is and then point and laugh at them. Just hope they dont ask you where any American State is though!
I am vehemently anti-racist. I’ll defend anyone, from Eskimo to Ethiopian, from Turban-head to Traveller. Hell, I even spoke up for an Englishman to a bunch of Celtic shirts once. (We escaped ‘cos they were in shock.)
But I fuckin’ HATE Americans. I hate their fuckin’ arrogance, their stupidity, their President and their baseball-caps.
I am normal, aren’t I?
Am-er-ri-ca.
Yes, it does sound awfully familiar.
Isn’t that the one of the places where we sent all our surplus white trash during the mid-nineteenth century?
You let Kathy Foley in the Sunday Times wind you up? I’m shocked.
Not wound up at all. Just thought the article was a bit off and unfair (on bloggers, I should add. Not me).
Indeed you’re right. Americans are thick. That’s why they are the leaders of the free world and we copy them in EVERYTHING.
Irish arent thick at all. Hence the phrase “a little bit Irish” means very professional, thorough and intelligent.
Have a look at our road signs or our semi coherent politicians and judge for yourself.
But apparantly some Americans believed some students have a Leprechaun so they’re all thick.
By the way, spot the inconsistency in the following remarks “vehemently anti-racist” and “fuckin hate Americans”
The big difference, as I see it, is that Irish bloggers are a more altruistic bunch. They do what they do out of love, passion, and possibly boredom.
Americans on the other hand will always be tempted towards the advertisement-heavy, money-making, potential book-deal (oops!) ‘American Dream’.
That, and the fact that they’re too fat to get up from their computers and get some exercise. Cunts.
That english rag is worse than The Sun, apart of course from the rich list which providedes plenty of targets for kidnappings
Actually the Americans are not a race as such, unless you count Native Americans so MB can still be “vehemently anti-racist” and “fuckin hate Americans”.
hate fat brash loudmouth stupid yank scum
just sayin’
Racism is generally prejudice against minority groups and saying all Americans are thick cunts is certainly being prejudiced.
I’m not really defending the fuckers though just pointing out that we’re a shower of thick cunts too.
Especially the Dubs.
MB
How did the big date go with J5
Well there’s no sign of J5, so I suspect he’s been murdered and throw into the river.
God I’d laugh if that was actually true…
Would we miss him??? Would we fuck!!
For fear of incurring wrath I have changed my name, but maybe MB fucked him to death and then ate him when he couldn’t find Kit Kats to quench his munchies
I’d miss him, it’s just that the subsequent trial and Monkey Balls in court would be a laugh a minute.
What would be the motive for his death though. Would it be that the mens jacks weren’t bad enough or that the drink was too expensive or that the drugs weren’t plentiful???
It could just be that Monkey Balls drank too much Bulmers then smoked a potent skunk reefer and lost his tiny mind.
I started blogging back in the day when there weren’t that many Americans doing it either, and it was a lot like what you guys do now. It was people sharing stories and information that was actually useful or at least entertaining. Do you know how fecking difficult it is to find that on American sites now?
Those of us with brains are having to search high and low to find something that isn’t a blog about how to blog or how to write, or how to make money by doing both, it’s a steaming pile of bland bs that is covering the web.
I said my bit, think what you want, not all of us are brain washed consumers, fuck you very much.
I’m going to haunt that fuckers Anus with a shears for what he did to me.
Yeah, did the date go ahead? That would be seriously cute, like and Irish version of Sleepless in Seattle cleverly changed to ‘Friendless in Finglas’.
Johnny 5 once wanted to date me too you know, he suggested meeting in Synnotts and I chickened out because I’m a nice girl and I don’t just meet people from the internet unless they’re posted to me from Thailand.
I’m not jealous at all.
Its great so see people now at least posting their sex where it is not obvious. So we now know that GeorgiaSam is a boy and MMN is a girl…and I just wonder what sex J5 is/was after MB was finished with him
Sorry to say, but I didn’t go in the end. I didn’t believe he was going to turn up.
I was all on for it aswell. Still have that €100, burning a hole in me pocket, waiting for someone to tell me where this elusive “Chinaman Replacement” is.
There’s a copy of The Book for anyone who’s willing to step up.
PS
Johnny5 is a cunt.
So Johnny 5 is now in fact Johnny no mates 5
If there’s no takers, I’ll give it to Gary Numan tonight. I reckon he’ll appreciate it.
I might even wear me blue hoodie, and autograph it.
Well if that wasnt Monkey Balls then I could be in some serious trouble with the gardai for what I did to that bloke out the back of Ned’s.
I can’t believe this continues. It’s not like blogging is a sect. It’s a medium, the content is up to the blogger, and if you don’t like it don’t read it. I get the impression everyone is sitting around waiting for a revolution. It’s not going to happen. It’s ultimately a pretty anti-social thing to do and we should all go out for a walk. Yes I appreciate the irony of my last statement.
Most of the post above seem to accuse American of being fat and lazy, this in itself is terribly lazy. I have met and know loads of really cool Americans who are neither fat nor lazy. On the other hand I have never met a cool Israeli and if you take a stroll down Grafton Street today I am sure you will encounter numerous fat Irish people. Does America have a monopoly on fat lazy people? I don’t think so.
If you want to slag of a nation for being a bunch of fucking cunts have a look at Israel, now there is a nation of cunts and murderers and while your at it you might have a look at the dear old Emerald Isle. An awful lot of fucking slacker and gobshites in this country.
America is the easy target, it doesn’t take much to slag off Americans. It’s quite base actually.
Broaden your horizons of hate.
I wasn’t slagging Americans.
If you can name me even one American that isn’t a fat useless cunt I’ll eat my own shite.
Pee Wee Herman
You obviously haven’t seen him lately, twenty,
Obama….
>>Johnny5: “If you can name me even one American that isn’t a fat useless cunt I’ll eat my own shite.”
GW Bush isn’t fat, so you’re only two-turds right. You should therefore eat one turd of your daily shite output.
George Bush is a fat mess.
It’s worth remembering here that I consider Calista Flockhart to be slightly overweight,
Only slightly? She’d put Mama Cass to shame.
Karen Carpenter wasn’t fat, she was too lazy to eat so perhaps you are all half right.
I rather like ‘merickans, they are fine folk, and can hold their drink better than Spaniards.
Spaniels are poor drinkers…
I’m afraid of Americans.
Americans are usually grand, the only nationality that I have a bad opinion of (so far) is the french.
(even then I’ve met some nice french people).
But I’ve met plenty of horrible arrogant lazy rude frenchies.
I’ll make all the sweeping generalisations I fucking well want you absolute gaggle of Paedophiles.
Puerile,
You forgot the most famous irish invention
The car-bomb.
“You forgot the most famous irish invention The car-bomb.”
Another keyboard ruined by tea, cheers SAm .
J5 you cannot go about calling everyone Belgian, it’s just not on.
I’ve met loads of lovely israelies, they’re not all “cunts and murderers.” Lots of very cool, forward thinking and wonderful people live in that country. Not all of them agree with its foreign policy either. This is my first time venturing into the comments section of this blog and it feels like people are throwing huge ugly boulders at each other for the craic. Its a bit ugly.
Fuck off you Jew loving cunt.
hah.
It’s always been like that gardenhead. Pay them no heed. Especially Peadar but especially Johnny5.
Some Israelies are lovely. Esp that Dana International – what a fucking ride she is!
Ah yeah I post on thumped.com, I know what its like. But this place, yikes! Lads, do yis not feel exhausted and spent after all this abuse? I feel like I’m sitting in the middle of a American Psycho listening to all those demented Wall Street twats on gak having a go at anything with a pulse.
Lucky you picked a mild day to dip your toe in the water, so…
Steady on there Pajo. I saw her first.
fuck off cunt i said nothing
It was pre-emptive….
I’ll save meself from posting until I’m full of booze and fit to punch walls. See yis at 3am next Sunday.
“pre-emptive”
That sounds like the American Military, Jesus I never took you for an imperialistic running-dog
“Yikes!”
Hahahahahaha
Yeah, “yikes!!” What of it? Sorry I forgot to say ‘cunt’ pajo. Although that word has a dulled edge ’round here.
I’ve substituted the phrase “good morning” for “cunt” in my house. In fact all greetings have been replaced by “cunt” and a finger.
We’re trying to return to the victorian era.
No probs GardenHead – if that is your real name.
See you Sunday 3am
Things took a different twist in my house. Now I have had to substitute cunt with hand
Might see yis before then. I’m off before I get scalped for wallowing in this unholy cesspit during working hours.
With a name like gardenhead, you’re obviously an out and out drug fiend. Off with ye! Go on! Go!
I ant to like this gardenhead fellow, he seems like a bang up guy.
Alas, a man that tolerates Jews is not a man at all in my book(The q’oran)
You lot should ease up on the hatred towards the Americans they have done a lot good things for the Irish, back in 60′s when my father was strugling to live in Ireland he wrote to an aunt in Boston telling her of his plight she sent him $50 and a letter telling him what to do with, he didn’t do what he was told he gave none of it to the IRA, instead he bought a oneway ticket England became a multi millionaire and I am for ever greatful even though I’m bannd from driving my beloved Porsche, I have been to America and the women love my English accent and my union jack underpants but you lot are right about them being thick.
Fack off back to Lahndan, cant!
If there’s a gayer name in the world than Tim, I’ve yet to hear it.
Cecil.
Johnny
Johnny we’re sorry wont ya come on ho-ome
Johnny : A thin cock-coverer that holds sperm.
Nigel is a very gay name
Tim : An english failure who plays with balls in front of an audience (usually wimbledon)
Barrymore is also a gay name, and not one to be uttered in swimming circles
Johnny – hahahahahahah beause that’s my name.
You hilarious japesters.
Barrymore is also a gay name, and not one to be uttered in swimming circles
You can add Derry to that list too.
Johnny, cover me, I’m going in.
You’re going to need to tell where exactly ‘in’ is before I agree to anything.
If it’s up my arsehols, dont bother I’ve been up there for years.
Drat!
I read that Foley article, bunch of bitter white men, all of you! Haha!
Seriously though, she is actually recognising your blog so it must matter to her on some level. When I was een Hamerica people I met were rather bland but when I was travelling, all the ha-mericans I met were smart. I summise the smart ones only come from the states with a coastline where they realise beyond their media controlled lives there’s an ocean and other lands… that need a bombin’ of course.
that’s generally the case, the apes who don’t leave their great gran-daddies farm tend to be a bit slow.
a hyuck hyuck hyuck, they surely are.
I heard of a guy who was too frightened to leave his farm in the countryside to go to the metropolis of … Cork. He was a sharp one.
Speaking (as an American born of Irish parents) I would humbly submit that we don’t have a monopoly on the fat and lazy in this country…..in fact, we work more hours, per year, than our European counterparts–and enjoy far less vacation time. I do understand, though, that it is a favorite sport to demonize all Americans through finding fault with our current political administration….nevermind that many of us are in direct opposition to that same administration. But, at least we aren’t burdened with Mary Harney (who seems, ahem, to have a little weight problem herself…)!!!!!!!
she’s got a point.
Americans only get 10 holiday days per year.
Now that’s just madness.
I reckon a four day week with about 30 days off would suit me a lot better ;)
Mary Harney is a not a human being.
Well Mary Harney is there to do a job and at least she wont be declaring war on anyone unless a packet of cream buns needed decimating
Morgor – the civil service has the jobs for YOU
Where do I sign?
You will dominate the world of blog …soon my friend
I believe Crispin is the gayest name ever. Julian is a close runner up. But yeah, Tim is certainly up there. And it rhymes with quim.
“This is not America, duh-duh-duh-duh-duh shove it up your ass”
David Bowie
Gay is a gayer name than Tim.
Only 10 days holidays per year? Thats sad.
But fuck em, they deserve no better.
Graham is the gayest name but only because of that cunt norton
Can imagine Tim and Gay out for a G&T with nice pullovers slung over their shoulders.
Fuckin Clarence has to be up there – literally
You lot seem to be obsessed with gay stuf is this a gay blog, my girl friend says that this flitting too and from the word gay is a sign of latent homosexuality and that some of you may be testing to see who may have the same leanings, I’ve never had anything like this about my name before.?
Gayness is nothing to do with sexuality – Its about being a ponce and usually an English one.
Girlfriend. Yeah right.
Exactly Pajo.
Sure Johnny5 isn’t gay and he’s out ridin’ fellas in stephens green every night, but he does it in a manly way. and he’s Irish.
Well he did say girl friend as opposed to girlfriend which is a clever ploy to get off on a technicality when we try him in Kangaroo Court.
Pajo, is it true that a “bear” is a big hairy gay?
Maybe in gay-speak it is. You tell me!
OK. Yes, it is actually.
I do enjoy listening to you Irish cunts slagging we Americans. I wonder if it is born out of jealousy or ignorance. Either way I find it kinda’ funny. Not you Twenty just these other cunts, ya’ know.
Some of us are good folks and some aren’t. I guess it’s like anywhere. We are as jingoistic and xenophobic as you and a large majority of us can trace our families back to that little tiny island with all the clouds over it that you live on.
You lot have some very odd names, Pajothe Bear, are your parents Rumanian, Bulgarian or maybe Greek if they are I’m sure you know more about Homosexuality and Gayness than you are prepared to let on about here in this blog, and I do not blame you but I’m sure you could tell your Mother she will understand.
Some of us are good folks and some aren’t.
I have to say my dealings with Americans have been most excellent. I’ve met many more Irish cunts than American cunts.
By the way Twenty, I finished reading your book last week. I enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to the next.
‘I have to say my dealings with Americans have been most excellent. I’ve met many more Irish cunts than American cunts.’
Refer back to your original post Twenty. That isn’t a fair comparison. I’m assuming you’ve met many more Irish peole than Americans.
Then again, I always say its wrong to assume……
Well yes, Peadar. It’s still true though.
Glad you enjoyed the book, Brian.
Wouldn’t it be more honest to say that it’s not the American people we hate, but the American government, American foreign policy, and Tom Hanks?
And Tom Cruise.
And Jerry Springer.
And Oprah.
And Hollywood.
And MTV.
And U2.
Tom Cruise isn’t American, hes an alien. And you can’t hate U2, Bono yes for being a selfrighteous nob-wank and the Edge for being well the Edge.
Because the Sunday Times magazines are so ridiculously shite these days, I only read her article it now. On Tuesday, after both my dinner and my after dinner ablutions.
And even then, only because the match is rubbish.
So now I get it..
Imagine my confusion, when I had a look at Kathy Foley’s blog, just to see what kinda standard her own (Irish) blog met.
It was dull, dull, dull, me, me, me.
And then I found a link on it that brought me straight back here.
Cheers Kathy!
I was enjoying this read. are all you cunts gone to bed?
america land of the free and home of the brave,and john wayne is a demi god ask anybody from texas,and people from texas never lie !honesst! ireland land of saints and scholars ask bertie basset that turd never tells the truth ask mahon he shouldnt lie? cos he gets loads of dosh to tell the fuckin truth.
Enjoyed that muchly. A perfectly crafted response.
MB, we’re not ALL idiots.
Although I’m a ‘merican planning to visit your loverly country soon, so maybe I’m a bit of an idiot, then? I didn’t know us yanks were so popular there. I’m a bit afraid.
“I do enjoy listening to you Irish cunts slagging we Americans. I wonder if it is born out of jealousy or ignorance. Either way I find it kinda’ funny. Not you Twenty just these other cunts, ya’ know.”
I’m sure you meant “reading”, not “listening”.
THATS IT!i cant take anymore prozac is US folin carrel wants a green card.bertie basset is going to the US glad handing every a*****le he can find and brown nosing the congress all at the taxpayers expense I have this day instructed piano soprano to sort out folin carrel and the allsort,RTE is salvitating over some fuckin race that goes on for infinity and thats only the eliminator imagine the cost to the taxpayer when the real deal starts,high price cunts talking a load of bollox and all in RTE speak,i really dont know who is worse the paddy or the yank. I personally have booked a suite in the gorman for a fortnight dark room mandatory,god rest you sorry gentlemen let nothing you dismay.
Enjoyed that muchly. A perfectly crafted response.
Ta.
I don’t think it’s a question of the Irish blog community being as sizeable as the American blog community – it’s about a question of diversity and quality within each niche.
Likewise it’s not so much about Irish blogs being internationally-recognised powerhouses – it’s about Irish blogs being nationally-recognised powerhouses.
The blogs that inform the discussion, can make or break an artist or can highlight stories the mainstream does or can not.
As far as I’m concerned the simple reason for that is Ireland’s late start, which came about as a result of many things – from our lack of internet infrastructure to our PC-sceptical culture.
It’s changing, though, I’ve no doubt about that. And comparing Irish blogging to American or British blogging is not about making ourselves feel inferior due to their scale, but questioning the levels of quality within each region.
I’m an american and read blogs now and then, yours is the only one I subscribe to though. First thing I read in the morning. Looking to buy your book but doubt I will find it in the local bookstore. Is Amazon UK the only outlet on the web?
It’s probably the quickest, cheapest and most reliable.
Geography can be a bitch.
I was very surprised to read that Israel is the same size as Leinster.
All that trouble from such a small place!
Listen up you bearded curry chip eating mick cunt, you are a member of the fattest race I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been on safari.