A call
Posted on | February 29, 2008 | 54 Comments
* bring bring*
“Hello?”
“Howdy, Twenty. It’s me. Stinking Pete.”
“Oh, hello Stinking Pete. What’s up?”
“I was just wondering why it is that if somebody gives you a CD of an album they’ve copied for you they simply hand you a disc, most of the time without a box and never with any artwork?”
“Huh?”
“Why don’t people make their own artwork like they used to with blank tapes?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s a worry, Twenty. It’s a real worry.”
*click*
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54 Responses to “A call”
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February 29th, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
Ah, s’an easy one. Cheap blank CDs come without boxes or labels, whilst cassettes always had boxes and blank inlays.
This is the same reason I haven’t seen CD’s track listing since about 2001…
February 29th, 2008 @ 1:12 pm
some people are never fucking happy. you sure dave isn’t a woman?
February 29th, 2008 @ 1:21 pm
Hey Twenty,
You should tell this fella Declan Cashin to get his facts straight :
“Twenty — whose identity remains hidden behind that pseudonym — admits that the awards upped his profile considerably.
He even landed a publishing deal for a “blook” (a book based on a blog) — the first of its kind in Ireland — entitled The Order of the Phoenix Park, which is due out in a matter of weeks.”
http://www.independent.ie/entertainment/news-gossip/blog-party-1302100.html
February 29th, 2008 @ 1:21 pm
Because the people who do that kind of thing have their cd collection arranged in alphabetical order or by genre: people with too much time on their hands.
February 29th, 2008 @ 1:23 pm
http://www.mega-search.net
for all your cover needs
up yours i.m.r.a and i.n.f.a.c.t
February 29th, 2008 @ 2:00 pm
Remember gatefold sleeves on double LPs? maybe with some artwork by Roger Dean (Steely Dan) f’rinstance and yould maybe attempt a seven skinner on it while listenin’ to Ricky don’t lose that number, and the green multi- armed figure in the picture would start swaying to the music because you’d dropped a green microdot about an hour earlier and all your so-called mates would be chivvying you up and laughing because you’d been attempting it for 20 minutes while humming to yourself? No?
You fucking liar.
A bare cd or shitey file sharing is just shit by comparison.
“I buy my records at the rock on store…”
February 29th, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
What does “chivvying you up” mean?
February 29th, 2008 @ 2:26 pm
Porridge, what has Dave being a woman got to with anything? It was Pete who rang Twenty. And the Smelly One has a point.
February 29th, 2008 @ 2:29 pm
Steeley Dan? Steely Fuckin’ Dan?
It was all Bob Marley ’round my way.
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:01 pm
I have an album cover by the Cramps in three D how the fuck could you reproduce that on a fucking CD.
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:05 pm
Is that Off The Bone? (the Cramps cover in 3D)
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
“Because the people who do that kind of thing have their cd collection arranged in alphabetical order or by genre: people with too much time on their hands.”
Sorry Puerile P, what’s your point? I ask somewhat defensively.
Whatever about you CD collection, if you’re that anal [as I am about me bukes] you should try out: -
http://www.librarything.com/
For the average cataloguing book nerd this is just brill.
And as for your CDs – iTunes!
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:20 pm
True story.
I head on down to the Green to get a copy of the buke, into Dubray books there, and have you a copy of ‘The Order of the Phoenix Park?’
If I’m honest, I asked if they had the new book by Twenty Major, but that earned me a fierce confused look so I slowly doled the title out like Eaton’s biggest Harry Potter fan.
We do, it’s right over here…
Hmm. Well it was there yesterday. Let me just look over… no. I’ll check on the system. Yes, there’s one on the system all right, but I’d say that’s probably wrong. I could order it for you?
She looks down at the screen.
We have another 15 copies due in?
Is that 1-5, I say?
Yes.
Thanks all the same.
So what I want to know is: Did Twenty Major send us all up about this book and did he in fact produce 100 copies in total while painstakingly producing the cover art himself for each one??? And when I finally DO get mu hands on this fucking thing, will it in fact be some sinister fucking geurilla market research tool that asks me how much I earn (too little), how often I masturbate (too much) and would I be interested in reading a blog where the text was only typed using the erect nipples of Asian porn stars? (of course I would).
I suppose this is less of a question and more of a harumph.
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
“Steely Fuckin’ Dan?”
Given that the band are named after a dildo in William Burroughs’ “Naked Lunch” that is so fitting!
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:28 pm
MMN – they had a good few in Dubray yesterday evening. Not that I was just going from shop to shop picking up copies of the book and smelling them or anything.
Dawson street shops should have it…
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
Yep Off the Bone in glorious 3D
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:31 pm
My heart goes out to you MMN, for ’tis a wonderful book, telling a wonderous tale, and ’twill no doubt be added to the school curriculum in coming years.
Keep trying. Don’t give up. People who work in book shops are not very bright in general. If they were, they’d be in the library.
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:38 pm
Make your own authentic-looking DIY covers
http://www.says-it.com/cassette/cassette.php
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:40 pm
Make yer own DIY-lookin’ covers here;
http://tinyurl.com/yp7cbg
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:48 pm
I seem to remember the gatefold sleeve of Rastaman Vibration by The Wailers had a sort of hessian / hemp looking background and there was a small tip printed on it suggesting that the cover was great for getting herb together on.
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:50 pm
Then again, the ol’ memory wouldn’t be the best…
February 29th, 2008 @ 3:52 pm
Here’s one I made earlier;
http://tinyurl.com/3cjfsq
February 29th, 2008 @ 4:03 pm
Fucking Excellent MB, and pink as well indicating how gay he really is.
February 29th, 2008 @ 4:11 pm
For anyone looking for the book. It’s in Easons on O’Connell Street in the ‘Irish Fiction’ section, in with all those Ross O’Cuntoff Kelly books.
I read about 3 chapters on the train home last night and to my utter, utter disgust I was pissing myself the whole way home. I will reserve judgement till I finish but my expectations have been surpassed thus far.
there yuou go Twenty, that’s the first and last time you’ll get any praise from me. Unless you force feed ryan tubridy to hippo, I’ll buy you a pint if you do that.
February 29th, 2008 @ 4:13 pm
MonkeyBalls you joke robbing wankstain. I’ll slice your testes off with a plastic knife you shit.
February 29th, 2008 @ 4:13 pm
Damn, the Tubridy/Hippo scenario was the alternative ending.
Cheers, J5.
February 29th, 2008 @ 4:28 pm
Fuck you.
February 29th, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
Fair enough Johnny5. I should’ve given you the writing credit.
Should’ve, but I didn’t.
So try and keep up in future.
February 29th, 2008 @ 4:51 pm
Wait a minute. Are you trying to suggest that we’re on some kinda parallel wavelength type of thingy?
I feel all kinda…I dunno…’violated’
And dirty.
February 29th, 2008 @ 5:35 pm
Apparently it’s something of a sport among bookshop staff to spot authors coming in to look at their name in print.
You wouldn’t be the first.
February 29th, 2008 @ 5:51 pm
I might get me one o’ dem blue hoodies and a comedy beard. Sign a few autographs an’ stuff.
Anyone care to join me?
February 29th, 2008 @ 8:06 pm
Wait another minute there, Johnny0.5
I seem to remember POSTING as The Majorettes, back on Change-One-Letter Day, in response to someone called Ian, who wanted a prize for being a twerp.
Twenty could, but no doubt won’t, back me up.
I reckon you owe ME royalties!
February 29th, 2008 @ 8:06 pm
Three quid on Amazon, Twenty. It had better be good. That’s a pint less for me tonight…
February 29th, 2008 @ 8:54 pm
Can’t wait to get my 7.5% of that, SoS.
February 29th, 2008 @ 9:42 pm
if its as good as J5 says Ill be getting a loan of it from him as soon as hes finished. Cant say fairer than that.
I can see it all now btw. Booker Prize, movie deal.
and then its all ‘What blog?’ Who’s Supergrover?
Wheres my fucking coke addled super model?
aaaaaghh
February 29th, 2008 @ 11:07 pm
3 quid at amazon?
fukkit i paid 8 fukkin 99
you’re a robbin cunt
March 1st, 2008 @ 8:22 am
Heh, sorry Twenty. I thought when I clicked the button either I was being shafted by a fake bookseller or you were being shafted by the distributor. No offence like but I hope it’s the latter!
March 1st, 2008 @ 10:12 am
Can we change the subject please and decide as a group what to do about that total gobshite in today’s Irish Times?! Action is called for. Gobshite!
March 1st, 2008 @ 10:27 am
Who might that be??? (still in the bed)
March 1st, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
quick word twenty,
when you attend this piss up tonight leave the trainers and the hoodie under the stairs,pop down to louis copeland he has the maroon cummerbund and matching dickie ready, so no trouble getting past the neandithral buggers on the door,remember the bash is on the taxman so bring a big doggy bag put the shampers and oysters nouveau cuisine inside so as soon as the limp wristed brigade have done the buisness,scoot around to ron the con out with the goody bag and large ones all round.
March 1st, 2008 @ 2:38 pm
The gobshite who says Twenty’s book is the single worst book he has ever finished, that’s who. He also recycles the sad John Waters anti-blog excuse for an argument.
March 1st, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
Where was that, Georgiasam?
March 1st, 2008 @ 3:47 pm
Twenty, I found part of that review here;
http://tinyurl.com/2txe7j
Unfortunately the rest of it is “Premium Content”, for subscribers only.
March 1st, 2008 @ 3:49 pm
Oh well, at least he finished it.
March 1st, 2008 @ 3:54 pm
Not to worry, when you win all the awards tonight, the positive publicity will do wonders for sales of The Book.
(Well, that was the plan all along, wasn’t it?)
March 1st, 2008 @ 3:58 pm
I never have any plans.
March 1st, 2008 @ 4:00 pm
I meant the publisher’s plans
March 1st, 2008 @ 4:01 pm
Oh, well I can’t speak for them.
March 1st, 2008 @ 4:05 pm
Seeing as I haven’t said it yet, best of luck tonight.
(By the way, so far I’ve refused two people a loan of my copy of The Book. Only one of them went and bought their own copy. I’m not talking to the other cunt.)
March 1st, 2008 @ 4:08 pm
A visit from the ginger albino is called for, surely.
March 1st, 2008 @ 4:30 pm
Last two comments unapproved (not deleted) for potential ‘spoiler’ reasons…
March 1st, 2008 @ 4:32 pm
Yes on p261, let me now reveal, Dirty Dave fits a massive big spoiler on the back of a dodgy Ford Cortina.
March 2nd, 2008 @ 3:08 am
that mother-fucking asshole jay whitlow gives me those copied cds all the time with no label, artwork, nothing but useless unexplainable whitlow made pieces of shit.
March 2nd, 2008 @ 11:12 am
I would’ve called my “unapproved (not deleted)” comment a teaser, not a spoiler. Didn’t see the other one.
And anyway, what the Hell is “unapproved (not deleted)”, if it’s not the bastard son of Fianna Fáil doublespeak, eh? Deleted = Deleted.
Still, who cares anyway?