National cunt day
Posted on | February 22, 2008 | 59 Comments
I believe we need a National Cunt Day where we, the people of Ireland, simply give in and celebrate the fact we’re a country absolutely chock-full of the biggest cunts on earth.
What’s the point in giving out any more? You complain, you grumble, you make a fuss but the cunts keep cunting on all fucking day long, every day of every fucking week.
Some examples – Bertie, of course. The man who has consistently brought his family into the Mahon Tribunal yet has his lawyers release ‘stinging attacks’ on the prosecution counsel for daring to mention them. The man whose explanations regarding his finance sound as believable as that bloke in England whose defence in his recent trial for murder was ‘I didn’t kill her, I just had sex with her corpse’.
Following up behind the Gardai investigating the Katy French death. It’s good to see they put as much time and effort into finding the dealers and suppliers of her drugs as they do every other drug death in this country. Who gives a fuck who sold her the coke that killed her? Not me. And if they really wanted to find out they should just haul in a few of the golden circle of socialites and beat the fuck out of them with truncheons until they talk. Problem fucking solved. You’re not so good looking without your teeth, are you, you despicable pack of wannabe cunts?
Did you see that tribute to Ronnie Drew? Fuck me, what did Ronnie Drew ever do to deserve that? A bigger collection of back-slapping, self-fisting pricks you’d be hard pressed to find in one place. See, even when they try and do something good they just look like a gaggle of rancid scorpion minge.
And you know the rest, we’ve gone through them a million times, so instead of objecting let’s embrace them. Let us be proud that this small nation can provide such a wide-range of cunts. Young and old, fat and thin, whatever flavour of cunt you want it’s here.
Céad Mile Cuntaí.
I’ll get some t-shirts made, maybe Mulley can do the badges, and then we could get a Jim Jones type to narrate and provide the refreshments. It’d be for the best.
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59 Responses to “National cunt day”
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February 22nd, 2008 @ 9:05 am
There isn’t a venue big enough to hold them all, and I think you should consider a statuette a la Oscars perhaps in lead, modelled on Mary Harneys Flaps. I nominate Pat Kenny for his diservices to Public Service Broadcasting, and the International Award to Mitt Romney for saying that Europeans face a demographic crisis because of our lack of faith.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 9:34 am
“And the award for Outstanding Contribution to Irish Cuntishness from a Non-National goes to…”
I’m going to say proud englishman.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 9:39 am
Nominations for the Barry Egan Perpetual Trophy for Outstanding Contribution to Irish Journalism:
Brendan O’Conor
http://www.independent.ie/opinion/analysis/the-smart-ballsy-guys-are-buying-up-property-right-now-1047118.html
John Waters
http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/opinion/2007/1210/1196839244822.html
February 22nd, 2008 @ 9:45 am
Stuart Townsend would be the honorary chairman, the Bollix. Twenty do you read Arseblog?
February 22nd, 2008 @ 9:47 am
And in all fairness I have lived in countries with a far bigger “cunt quotient” than Ireland. The UK and America have far more wannabes and their politicians are as, if not, more cuntish
February 22nd, 2008 @ 9:56 am
I’m with you on the Ronnie Drew song.
Dire – the type of song Ronan Keating deserves to have made about him.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 10:00 am
May I nominate Katy French herself? Not because she was a horrible person or anything. I didn’t know her. Nor had I ever really heard of her before last year. The reason for the nomination? Because her accidental nasal suicide has caused the most ridiculous media (bull)shitstorm I’ve seen in my short life. I’m sick of glancing over the various newspapers and seeing another photo of her with some irrelevant story. It’s almost as bad as that one particular newspaper in England (not sure which one, the Telegraph? The Daily Mail?) that KEEPS printing Princess Diana stories, no matter how ridiculous, just to see papers. Who gives a shit about that whole Katy French thing, really?
February 22nd, 2008 @ 10:06 am
Someone cares enough to come on here last night and post a comment with the most outlandish conspiracy theory regarding her death. I had to remove it as it was entirely without evidence and very possibly libelous.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 10:13 am
Katy’s death was definitely a conspiracy – a conspiracy of cocaine and stupidity. Mixing cocaine and stupidity makes you 24 times more likely to go to places like Krystle and Reynards.
Is there no end to the horror of drugs?
February 22nd, 2008 @ 10:15 am
I would nominate the four cunts who threw an object at my “happy” friends in Temple Bar on Monday. Obviously feeling threatened by their good dress sense, the scummy little fuckers.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 10:28 am
hahaha “the International Award to Mitt Romney for saying that Europeans face a demographic crisis because of our lack of faith.”,
I hadn’t heard that. What a fucking retard. hahaha
February 22nd, 2008 @ 10:28 am
Jim Jones? nice touch…….
February 22nd, 2008 @ 10:43 am
Great idea twenty! Least the ole’n'day cunts knew they were cunts..like angus mcanally even dressed like one. Who would present the awards though? Bono?
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:04 am
“Patronising Cunt of the year” must go to our football ‘saviour’ Dennis O’Brien the tax dodging wanker. throw in Tony O’Reilly too the hypocrite.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:07 am
Ah fuck.. The whole Kuntie French thing. What the fuck made the cops dedicate so much time and effort investigating the death of this fucking bimbo? I’d like to know where the orders are coming from and why no-one else gets the same treatment.
It really does add to my almost complete lack of faith in the cops and the way things are done here.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:18 am
That Ronnie Drew song is a big load of fucking bollix. Everyone involved should voluntarily kill themselves.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:24 am
Someone cares enough to come on here last night and post a comment with the most outlandish conspiracy theory regarding her death. I had to remove it as it was entirely without evidence and very possibly libelous.
Email it to me. I’m bored.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:26 am
You’re not that bored, trust me.
But email me if you want. I’m not sure asjdhtrgrt@ayrtcdfsorbfanch36thdas.com actually works.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:27 am
A guy I work with was in town recently and unbeknownst to him there was some sort of Irish television awards on.
He came into work the day after saying that he’d never seen so many fat orange girls in huge dresses before.
Fat orange cunts.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:31 am
Ah to be fair twenty, it wasn’t the most outlandish conspiracy theory. Surely one involving aliens, elvis and an unknown government agency hellbent on brainwashing the public to believe bertie’s lies would be more outlandish…
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:32 am
I saw that comment last night.. maybe the facial hair has people confusing you with Magnum P.I…. or Jessica Fletcher
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:40 am
National Cunt Day should be held the same day as we celebrate our National patron saint day, because that’s the day the cunts, nay the pure cunts show their true colours, they’re all there big cunts, small cunts, fat cunts thin cunts, clever cunts stupid cunts, posh cunts chav cunts, farmer cunts know-all cunts, drunk cunts druggie cunts, queen cunts king cunts, wannabe cunts, green cunts blue cunts, capitalist cunts, corporate cunts by the score, and a hundred more types and they all know who they are.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:43 am
You already have my email address you spazmologist
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:58 am
If you run out of refreshments we could just get Gerry Ryan to hug the cunts.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 12:07 pm
In the world of ‘entertainment’ the Permanent Shower of Cunts award goes to RTE for….their (latest)Eurovision shortlist… their Sports department for slavishly re-hashing every release from the GAA, FAI, English rags etc etc and calling it analysis…The Clinic….employing Des Cahill.. allowing Pat Kenny on the telly….Gerry Ryan on the radio….The Panel…most films they broadcast…their Christmas schedules.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 12:09 pm
Yes, not entering The Ballad of Ronnie Drew into the Eurovision was a serious oversight.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 12:25 pm
I don’t think I’ll ever get over Macho Grandé
February 22nd, 2008 @ 12:44 pm
I agree with Puerile Pish, the UK is literally infested with cunts. They have put themselves at the top of business so their cuntishness affects everyone. Look at British Gas, put all their prices up then boasted about hundreds of millions in profit. I work for such people aswell, our staff have not had a rise in over ten years, yet we have just put up our cost to the customer. At least in France their president has stopped all the cunts getting rich.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 12:46 pm
In fact sometimes, I think humans come with their default setting as “cunt”.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 12:46 pm
Absolutely Crock, and have you heard them? One of them was rejected by the Slovenian equivalent of RTE and it’s on ‘OUR’ shortlist!!!!!
February 22nd, 2008 @ 12:47 pm
Twenty, you have excelled yourself. Céad Mile indeed.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 12:57 pm
Re Ronnie Drew tribute.
Before I clicked on the link I knew that cunt Bono would be involved. Wants world leaders to wipe off debts and goes to court for a fucking hat. Wants western countries to do their share for Africa but won’t do his share as an Irish citizen. Makes christian stadium rock that fuckwits all over the world lap up. “hello hello, got a thing called vertigo!”, unbelievably bad you shortarsed hypocrtical cunt.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:14 pm
while we might be a bit short on numbers of cunts compared to the uk and states, the sheer quality and persistancy of the cuntistry here is what makes our cunts the best in the world. notable examples of irish cuntology are john delaney, eddie o’sullivan, cardinal desmond connell, john gormley and judge brian curtin. hard pressed to find another cuntry that can compete with us
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:21 pm
It’s time for the Muff Divers of Ireland to call a strike. Gentlemen, lay down your tongues. Put your false teeth back in.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:23 pm
I’m loading the blunderbuss right now. Bags first shot at that tedious fathead Brendan O’Connor. He should be blasted to pieces with rock salt. I might also use ball bearings.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
One word. Twink.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:37 pm
linda martin.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:38 pm
Christ Twenty – I hadn’t seen that Ronnie Drew thing – you’ve ruined my day.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:41 pm
Twenty, I do believe it’s the end of the week.
Is it going to be worth my while getting up out of bed, and popping down to Eason’s for a copy of The Book? I had a look yesterday, and it wasn’t there.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
September 12th is the obvious National Cunt day – it’s the Bert’s birthday. We could all celebrate by:….not paying any tax for the day….spend loads of money on make-up….receive a dig-out….speak incomprehensible bollox….pay for our own cups of tea…watch a match in a VIP box in Old Trafford… have a few scoops of Bass in Fagans or the Beaumont House… pat Nicky Byrne on the head while calling him son…..give a sniffling interview on (poxy) RTE….send people up and down trees in North Dublin…upset the apple tart….
God I feel much better. Twenty, you’re a fookin genius.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:57 pm
on the Katy french point. at the same time she was hoovering up columbian marching powder a whole house full of tits in waterford decided it’d be much more fun to eat their own dodgy cocaine. i think 12 of them ended up in hospital and 2 died. where the fuck was the outrage. the drugs should have a least come with directions!no police inquest has been announced. no garda crackdown. coppers face jacks loving cunts.
this is what happens whn their is no quality control
February 22nd, 2008 @ 1:59 pm
one doctor was reported as being unsurprised upon discovering a certain someone was brain dead
February 22nd, 2008 @ 2:10 pm
Well said teaspoonasaurous. Quality Control IS what caused those deaths. It’s obvious that the cocaine that was going around at that time was too high quality. The fact that it was damp makes me think it was washed up somewhere, found by amateurs, and not cut with enough baking soda to weaken it to the low levels that are the norm in Ireland.
Kids, only do drugs that won’t kill you. Cocaine is for stupid cunts.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 2:22 pm
Just wondering how many times did you use the word ‘cunt’ in the book then?
February 22nd, 2008 @ 2:51 pm
The Ronnie Drew thing could do just as well as Skirmish last year. Who the fuck let it happen? As if he doesn’t have enough problems.
‘A gaggle of rancid scorpion minge’! ha haaaaa!
February 22nd, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
They’re probably just trying to finish him off by making him puke up his internal organs.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
Don’t you think all that shower on the Ronnie Drew song should have something better to do, like work for a living???
On the other hand, these English-accented Oirish-types probably think they’re doing all us plebs a favour with their “creativity, and I’m sure any criticism of their pathetic effort will be met with ” Ah, it was just done in a light hearted way.”
The last resort of real cads, that is.
Or cunts, to you!
February 22nd, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
‘You’re a Star’ and anyone connected with it especially Brendan O’Connor and the ‘ex pop star’ fat english girl with the orange face who hasn’t troubled the charts for years, if ever.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 6:23 pm
Twenty, copywrite the logo and put out T shirts with those wise words printed on them and a picture of your beard, sideways of course, and you’ll make more money than you can cunt.
February 22nd, 2008 @ 9:43 pm
bertie and al that shower in the dail are the bigest shower of c
February 22nd, 2008 @ 11:45 pm
Hope Nobody minds if I add that little poisonous dwarf cunt that is Willie O’Dea to the list. Thanks
February 23rd, 2008 @ 12:53 am
That Mrs. Browne gobshite,Brendan O Caroll, How the fuck do the Dubs like that cunt
February 23rd, 2008 @ 3:30 am
3 things;
(1) A list of cunts is too much a task for any man or woman to compile. It’s all too easy to leave one out.
(2) A list of those who are definitely NOT cunts would be easier. S0…..
(3) I’d like to nominate Mary Kennedy from Nationwide as my favorite Non-Cunt. Her winning and ever-present smile, her affable nature, her enthusiasm for lost causes….She’s a solitary diamond in the deserted wasteland of non-talented fuckers that is RTE. I’m not trying to say she has any discernible talent as such, but by Christ, I’d certainly give her one.
February 23rd, 2008 @ 7:32 am
Im sorry, i cannot sit here and have the name cunt taken in vain like this.Comparing the above individuals to a cunt is nothing short of blasphemy.
A cunt is actually usefull, ive had many hours of interesting fun with a vagina, and i just cant get bored of it.So i think another body part thats less usefull…maybe something like “The deformed hermaphrodite cock/cunt award” would be more fitting.
I mean what fucking use would one of those be good for.Ant let me nominate micheal oleary for top gong for his award winning rant on the latest strike to hit dublin airport,all this from the man that gave us the 1 cent fare that you pay €102.35 for.Maybe Gordon Brown should change the maximum time for an abortion from 26 weeks to 50 years or whatever age micheal is,have him endure one of his poxy 1 cent (€102.35)fares to some airport in an obscure part of britain like Dingly Dell or Old Muggleton (they actually exist) and publicly abort the “deformed hermaphrodite cock/cunt”………..WORD
February 23rd, 2008 @ 11:02 am
cunt noun 1 taboo the female genitals. 2 offensive slang a woman regarded as a sexual object. 3 offensive slang an abusive term for an unpleasant person. 4 slang a person in general.
From Chambers dictionary
February 23rd, 2008 @ 2:25 pm
I’d like to nominate all the cunties in Bridgend who’ve been lassoed by the grim reapers rope a dope trick.
February 25th, 2008 @ 7:45 pm
56 comments and not one mention of gavin lambe “i’m next you know” murphy???????i’m not paying broadband fees to read rants about cunts without the aforementioned cunt.
cunts.
March 1st, 2008 @ 10:14 pm
[...] now go over to Edinburgh Advocate, Reactionary Snob, for breaking news on why some in Ireland and Scotland think it important to have a “National C**t” [...]
May 22nd, 2009 @ 10:33 pm
Tax-dodging wankers U2 should get first place.
In fact, the day should be called, par-par-par, drum-rolllllllllllllll:
U2 tax-dodging wankers national cunts day sponsored (but not with tax) by U2 tax dodging wankers.
That would be a fitting tribute to U2 tax dodging wankers U2.