Pete’pau
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on January 31st, 2008
Not too many people know that Stinking Pete was a founder member of T’Pau. At the time Carol Decker was going out with a large German chap and himself and Pete did not get on.
Just a classic clash of personalities. Plus Pete kept trying it on with the flame haired singer much to the German’s displeasure. Now, Carol Decker had a teapot given to her by her grandmother in which she kept scraps of paper. The bits of paper would contain song lyrics, ideas and her hopes and aspirations for the future.
One day a furious row broke out between Pete and the German and in the blindness of his anger Pete de-trousered the teutonic twat and shoved the porcelain teapot right up his hole. Just then Carol Decker came in and was understandably aghast. She ranted and raved, firstly about the stretched anus of her lover, but secondly about the valuable contents inside it. She kept nagging and baiting him.
It got the point where Pete was about to quit the band, saying “Don’t push too far” and “Your dreams are china in your Hans.”
Oh dear Twenty, oh dear…
January 31st, 2008 at 1:43 pm
jesus - am starting to see the punchlines coming.
probably means i need to seek help.
January 31st, 2008 at 1:52 pm
1
oh, after such a good run too
January 31st, 2008 at 2:02 pm
2
Seemed a little more telegrammed than usual, although maybe that’s because it reminded me of a similar gag told by Tim Vine’s
“So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T’PAU! I said “Don’t you mean KAPOW?? He said “No, I’ve got china in my hand.”"
January 31st, 2008 at 2:03 pm
3
teapot, china, crockery, crock of shit?
January 31st, 2008 at 2:08 pm
4
I’d go with the latter actually. I think I need to drink some more.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:10 pm
5
You should stop spouting about things up Pete’s arse.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:14 pm
6
The people demand…
January 31st, 2008 at 2:15 pm
7
you are a closet aren’t you twenty, go on, admit it, I won’t tell anyone
January 31st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
8
If I were to be any piece of furniture I suspect I would be bureau or a handcrafted bedside locker.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
9
There is a long list of weird things that weird prats put their holes, one doctor extracted a 100 watt light bulb from one arsehole, but they have kept us in the dark as to why.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:38 pm
10
“If I were to be any piece of furniture”
…Stool perhaps??
January 31st, 2008 at 2:49 pm
11
all the way through I kept thinking…nah he wouldnt..would he?
January 31st, 2008 at 2:50 pm
12
excellent sam!
January 31st, 2008 at 2:54 pm
13
Theres nothing to say to that.
We must be nearly due a sample of the book. If only to make up for that shit.
January 31st, 2008 at 3:22 pm
14
Made me laugh
January 31st, 2008 at 3:42 pm
15
..of course Carol was aghast, sure wasn’t the bould Pete trouserless and rudderless….every diehard T’pau fan knows that.
January 31st, 2008 at 3:47 pm
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Book Description
When Twenty gets an early morning wake-up call from Detective Larry O’Rourke it seems like any other day. But when he discovers that his friend, record shop owner Tom O’Farrell, has been murdered and that his dying act was scrawl the number `60′ in blood on his chest and dial Twenty’s number in to his phone - he begins to think something might be out of the ordinary.
Meanwhile, time is running out for the people of Dublin. A plan has been hatched that is more sinister than seeing your granny tongue-kiss with an 18 year old and it all seems to centre around `Folkapalooza’ a massive free concert due to take place in the Phoenix Park.
Soon Twenty and his pals from Ron’s bar find themselves plummeted into the crazy world of concert promotions, assassins, iPod based defence systems, mad taxi drivers, office espionage and devious minds. A combination that will test their friendships, and their ability to cope with hangovers, to the limit.
What does the number ‘60′ signify? Who is the ginger albino and who is he working for?
Can Twenty, Jimmy the Bollix, Stinking Pete, Dirty Dave and the rest solve the puzzle before it’s too late or will Dublin succumb to the dastardly mastermind behind it all?
January 31st, 2008 at 4:28 pm
17
That’s what Cork and Kerry people say when they want to borrow money..can I Tap U..
January 31st, 2008 at 4:44 pm
18
Odd things in arseholes, there is a guy living in New Zealand who is supposedly anti racism and anti prejudice, but when comes to people who don’t agree with his comments he calls them Retards without knowing if the people in question have an affiliation or a disability, I noticed he used the word in different places where he brown nosed his way around a few blogs, not very PC.
It is widely believed that he puts a Coco-nut up his arse he thinks that having it so near to his brain will inspire him to write better comments, I suppose if your’e forced to live in relative isolation among Sheep Shaggers and Mutton Muffers inspiration is welcome in any form even under guise of a shit covered Coco-nut, cnut for short.
January 31st, 2008 at 6:29 pm
19
Coconuts up the arse are very effective aids to concentration, I’ll have you know.
I think you mean “afflictions”? Maybe you could use a coconut yourself.
February 1st, 2008 at 12:35 am
20
Every time you post one of these, I live in hope that it’s the Hans that do dishes, lime green hairy squid one. Have I ruined it now?
February 1st, 2008 at 10:09 am
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