Could you just fuck off now, Bertie? Kthanksbai!
One of Bertie Ahern’s great skills is the art of talking shite. You might not think it a skill, that any old fucker with a few pints on him down the local can do it, but he’s a master at it.
Someone will ask him a pointed question like ‘Where did that money come from?’ or ‘Do you mean to tell me you’ve been sorting out passports for people?’ and he’ll reply with such a stream of effluence that you end up wondering what the hell the question was in the first place. We all know politicians practice not answering questions at home. They get their wives to do it.
“Are you ready for tea, Minister.”
“Well, whether I’m ready or not isn’t the issue. I think we have to look at the background to this sitation and accept that there are mitigating circumstances.”
“But are you hungry?”
“It would judicious of me to examine all the facts of the matter before I gave a definitive answer.”
Bertie is the best of all time though. Speaking about this tax-clearance cert last week he said the Tax authorities would have to wait until after his appearance at the Mahon Tribunal next month before they could sort it out. But yesterday he said this:
“It is not correct — if I said so I wasn’t correct. I can’t recall if I did say it. But I did not say, or if I did say it, I didn’t mean to say it, that these issues could not be dealt with until the end of the Mahon Tribunal.”
It’s like Glenn Hoddle, sacked as England manager for making remarks about God and handicapped people, “I did not say them things”.
‘I didn’t say it, but if I did I didn’t mean to say it’- what the fuck is he on? What did he mean to say then? The opposite? Something completely different? Does he have some kind of Tourette’s where things he doesn’t mean to say just pop out?
I heard Minister with responsibility for integration Conor Lenihan (yep, the man who made remarks about Turks and kebabs) on the radio yesterday slamming the Mahon Tribunal. He said that it was a waste of money, that the dogs in the street knew it was a waste of money, that the question of the Taoiseach was out of order and that the people of Ireland wanted to see it closed down because of all the money it’s cost.
I agree that it is overblown and that it has cost a fortune but I think I’d be right in suggesting that most people don’t want it shut down because they really want to see if they can nail Bertie. I couldn’t give a fuck if it cost a billion trillion euros if they managed to get that little cunt. The weight of evidence is mounting and FF’s panicked bleating about the cost of the tribunal is because they know the further they dig into Bertie’s affairs, and the more than Bertie prevaricates, the more questions there are.
Will he resign? I don’t think so. Not yet anyway. He’s a stubborn little fucker. Still, it’s like supporting a football team that’s gone a long time without a trophy. When you do finally win something it’s all the sweeter.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:10 am
Although I know Bertie is a slimy fecker, I don’t think anyone would give 10000 euro for a passport.
There’s probably something else he did for the 10000, maybe a blowjob or something.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:18 am
Enda Kenny and Fine Gael are coming out of this whole fiasco worse than Bertie is.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:20 am
Just highlights the inherent crapness of Enda.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:25 am
It would be good if FF and FG destroyed each other somehow. A knifefight or something.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:25 am
told yiz before:
Cunts get cunts for government, and they deserve them.
It’s a well known political adage.
I’m all right though, I live in america, see
January 31st, 2008 at 9:29 am
I was watchiung an interview with Charlie Wheklan once, Gordon Browns then spin-doctor. e gave a really simple example of avoiding a question and not lying.
Ok, hers an example.
Just imagine, i know its haerd to, that Ahern took money for a favour….I know, i know – unlikely. Here goes.
Questioner – “Mr Ahern, did you accept $45,000 for a favour”
Corrupt Politician – ” What utter nonsense”.
Not denied, and not lied.Bam!!
January 31st, 2008 at 9:33 am
Enough of fucking dodgy Bertie Ahern. He’s been given the benefit of the doubt for long enough and he’s had a good innings. Time for someone else.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:43 am
The squirrelly little twat won’t ever get his comeuppance. The worst that will happen is he may resign and end up living nicely on a fucking huge pension. Jammy cunt. What gives him the confidence to lie like a cunt all the time is the resounding support from half the wankbags in this country who voted FF last time around.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:47 am
he’s a cunt!
January 31st, 2008 at 9:57 am
Yup, he’ll probably buy an Island somewhere and when they finally nail him for something he’ll suddenly have “bad health” and then he’ll spend the next 10 years on a yacht.
May the wrath of Dagda be upon him.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:59 am
“I couldn’t give a fuck if it cost a billion trillion euros if they managed to get that little cunt.” Amen, brother.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:01 am
In fairness to Bertie, this passport thing is utter horse shit. The guy who got the passport was fully entitled to one under law, because his mother was born in Cork. So maybe Bertie filled out the application form for him or something, handy ten grand for Bertie, I would’ve done it for five.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:03 am
IMPORTANT NOTICE :
Jean Claude Van Damme has a holiday home in Westport.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:04 am
What Ireland needs is British rule back again Britian rules most things in Ireland apart from that tin pot government, take down all those statues you have stuck up all over the place put up pictures of our glorious Queen and Maggie Thatcher, join the commonwealth and prosper like the rest of the colonies.
Good old Maggie!
January 31st, 2008 at 10:10 am
Like Zimbabwe?
January 31st, 2008 at 10:13 am
haha alfie, yeah we sure prospered alright.
Since we shrugged you fuckers off we’ve been going from strength to strength.
We should go back to the olden days where we used to raid England for slaves.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:24 am
Zimbabwe, that’s what happens when we leave things to head shrinkers and bogballers.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:40 am
The real iffy part of his 10K is that it was from someone he claimed he had no relationship with and also it was not declared by the party. He can never be caught or killed, he is like a villain from a comic. Bertie “The Fiddler” Ahern will keep reappearing for the rest of our sorry lives.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:48 am
It’s like having Vicky Pollard run our country.
“Where did you get the money from Mr Ahern?”
“Yeah, but eh, no, but yeah, but no cos in fact I never received any money, and don’t listen to what Enda Kenny says about me cos Biffo says he once saw him getting rode by Mary Hearny on the back bench at lunch time.”
“….”
“Can I have a tenner for a few cans? Talk to Biffo, hell sort ya out.”
January 31st, 2008 at 10:54 am
Let’s be clear on one thing, when he is finally routed (and it will happen) not one of his ‘we-blame-the-tribunal’ stooges should get a ministerial gig ever again. Bertie was Haughey’s stooge and when stooges get promoted the record shows we end up with tribunals having to sort it out at our expense.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:59 am
Since we shrugged you fuckers off we’ve been going from strength to strength.
So how come all the moaning ?
In the nealy 90 years of independence you have had a couple of good decades – the rest were miserable, poor and the heavy hand of the church made the place hell. But you are waking up to the price paid for the couple of spells of apparent prosperity. Cunts like Bertie, shit healthcare, corruption and inefficiency .
January 31st, 2008 at 11:02 am
p.s – Derek Conway – there’s a future for you in FF!
January 31st, 2008 at 11:09 am
“So how come all the moaning ?”
Because everyone moans about their government.
Personally, I think English politics are more honest than Irish politics but our politics are improving.
Thanks to fuckwits still voting for the same old corrupt parties we’re not progressing as fast as we should.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:13 am
I don’t think someone from England is in any position to speak of the heavy hand of the Church. No offense meant, but no, no position.
Of course if Maggot is NOT from England then disregard, apologies etc…
January 31st, 2008 at 11:19 am
Most definitely not from England – but even if I was -
The Churches in England in 20th century had nothing like the power that the church in Ireland abused – such as was seen in the Magdalene Laundry scandal or the Scandalous school system. Which takes us back to Bertie, his relationship with the Church, why he wasn’t cast out for fornication and the supposedly unrelated deal he gave them that let them off the hook in respect of financial liability …..
January 31st, 2008 at 11:24 am
Oh I wasn’t talking about the twentieth century! As for the ’scandalous’ school system, sure there were horrors involved, but the priests/nuns that might have been involved didn’t commit them BECAUSE they were priests or nuns or whatever. We hear about lay people doing similar things all the time.
Apart from that, as scandalous as it might have been, without the Church run schools Ireland would have had an almost third world standard of education for most of the twentieth century and we would not be as prosperous as we are today.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:30 am
Oh I wasn’t talking about the twentieth century!
As we were discussing Ireland post independence…
re the schools – The church covered up the crimes because the perpetrators were nuns and priests.
And I disagree with the rest of what you say about Irish school system 20th century. It was a disaster, the prosperity cae despite it, not because of it.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:38 am
I’m with maggot on this one.
The church is a drag on our progress, most countries that are ruled by any church are somewhat backward.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:40 am
“but the priests/nuns that might have been involved didn’t commit them BECAUSE they were priests or nuns”
debatable.
This kinda links up with what we were saying yesterday about the gang rapes in Pakistan and so on.
nothing like convincing people that God hates sex to mess with their heads.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:48 am
Ireland’s prosperity is due more to it’s begging bowl being filled by the rest of the EU rather than anything the Cocking Sucking Priests or the Cunt Licking Nuns ever did.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:50 am
Economic prosperity does not come without a well educated workforce to create and drive it. This is turn is created by a sound education system, otherwise by your token we could expect half of Africa to suddenly grow amazing economies any day now.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:51 am
“It is not correct — if I said so I wasn’t correct. I can’t recall if I did say it. But I did not say, or if I did say it, I didn’t mean to say it, that these issues could not be dealt with until the end of the Mahon Tribunal.”
Might be a convenient bout of Alzhiemer’s – I don’t think?
January 31st, 2008 at 11:53 am
This is how Bertie survives, the citizenry go ‘off topic’.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Rusty, comment 19, very funny
January 31st, 2008 at 12:01 pm
“Economic prosperity does not come without a well educated workforce to create and drive it. This is turn is created by a sound education system.”
Agreed.
“otherwise by your token we could expect half of Africa to suddenly grow amazing economies any day now.”
Religion is very powerful in Africa, half of Africans are christian and have been for a long time, surely this negates your own point that religion is a positive influence.
PS: Bertie is a cunt.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:09 pm
The spectacle goes on. Personally, I’d never vote for FF but it makes me curious about political behaviour. It seems that the muppets in FF would support a cheese burger as Taoiseach because it is “loyal” to do so. But when will the tipping point come (a la Thatcher)? The Tribunal, FG and Labour seem to be making that day come closer in a piecemeal, death of a thousand cuts manner. That’s “cuts” Twenty…
January 31st, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Cuts, cuts. Got it.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:11 pm
The thing about it is, Bertie is a far better leader than Enda Kenny ever will be, even if he is a feckless cunt.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:14 pm
‘Enda Kenny and Fine Gael are coming out of this whole fiasco worse than Bertie is.’
‘Just highlights the inherent crapness of Enda.’
Yep and bertie’s going no where. He’s the best of a bad lot.
I know it’s not the popular line to take on this site but it’s a fact.
The thought of Enda running this country frightens me
January 31st, 2008 at 12:19 pm
All that’s coming out of the tribunal are minor bits and pieces. Not enough to finish him.
Unless it comes out that he got ‘large’ amounts of money for political favours, he’ll be safe.
Or that he rapes young boys in his spare time, that might be enough to oust him
January 31st, 2008 at 12:25 pm
I wholeheartedly agree, Peadar.
I’d vote Fianna Fáil again tomorrow if given the option.
If Enda Kenny is the best politician FG have, they are fucked regardless of what fuckups FF make.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:27 pm
morgor I agree, Africia and Ireland have very similar political and social systems based on back slapping, under handedness, bribery and coruption, sponsored and supported by the well educated who employ the idiots that generate the prosperity.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Alfie,
Q
why did Norway not join the EU?
A
Because they didnt want to give up their seas. And in fact if the spanish trawlers that are raping our seas go anywhere near norway, they send out the gunships.
Europe is getting a pretty good return now on their investment in Ireland inc.
reason FF are still in power is cause of the amount of people who are on some kind of fiddle themselves, or aspire to be so.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:40 pm
alfie you are a tricksy hobbit.
You’re not entirely wrong though, this is quite a banana republic at times.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I wonder if Bertie had any thing to do with the wayward solicitor Lynn getting a passport or two, he seems to have more tha one the way he’s getting around the place?
January 31st, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Milka Bars special offer 99c in Supervalu Swords
January 31st, 2008 at 3:41 pm
According to yer man who was questioning Bertie, at one stage he had to go the tribunal records to work out what Bertie actually said because he answered with a QUADRUPLE negative…
“De fact of de matter is, I don’t tink dat I did say dat I didn’t do no passport applications!”
January 31st, 2008 at 5:17 pm
If Bertie gets the boot send him to the States. He’ll get elected to Congress in a walk on the Democrat ticket and be as welcomed as a family member coming home with a six pack.
January 31st, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Bertie Ahern: neck like a jockey’s bollix.
January 31st, 2008 at 8:48 pm
@Peader – “He’s the best of a bad lot.” Are you serious?
Bertie has presided over: a huge credit bubble that benefited the largest donors to his party – builders, a 3rd world healthcare regime called Angola by his own minister, a hugely wasteful IT modernisation policy eVoting, PPARS, Reach Services etc, on his watch child rapists were let out of prison and back onto the street, crime has surged to the entent that he’s now going to bulldoze 2,000 houses in Limerick and rebuild at a cost of nearly €1 Billion (surely putting half of that money into policing would be more useful – but then again the GRA don’t all turn up at the tent in Galway every year). Bertie Ahern is most certainly NOT the best of a bad lot!
January 31st, 2008 at 10:46 pm
how would you know if he’s the best of a bad lot no one else ever gets a chance.
18 our of the last 20 years FF have been in power.
bah humbug.
February 1st, 2008 at 10:09 am
he’s still a cunt!
February 1st, 2008 at 11:03 am
All Hail Bertie