70s kids show deathmatch

Posted on | January 29, 2008 | 52 Comments

I’d like to see some of the characters from 70s TV shows thrown into a ring together. I’d say there’d be some epic battles.

Who would win between Mr Ben and Bod?

Could Chorlton take on both Rhubarb and Custard?

Would Morph’s morphing give him the edge against Bagpuss?

And could scary doll Hamble take on the weighty, but fairly immobile Great Uncle Bulgaria?

Sometimes I lie awake at night thinking about things like this and my overriding thought is ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

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52 Responses to “70s kids show deathmatch”

  1. SuperGrover
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:07 pm

    mr. crow and judge take on o’brien. sweet.

  2. SuperGrover
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:10 pm

    jim rockford’s da in a fight to the death with snagglepuss. exit stage left, right even…

  3. SuperGrover
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:11 pm

    etc.

  4. alexkintner
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:17 pm

    Huggy Bear vs Gentle Ben (street smarts versus pure aggression)

    By the way is that you on the front page of the BBC website.

  5. SuperGrover
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:27 pm

    kojak v stavros. hard to call that one

  6. nonny
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:27 pm

    You could not be that old. Was Rainbow out in the 70′s? I’d love to see Bungle beat the bollox out of that snot nose whimpering gay lord George. Imagine the little stuffy fucker screaming, “But why Bungle?, Why?”

  7. MacDara
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:28 pm

    Id like to see the Partridge family take on the Brady bunch.

  8. SuperGrover
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:28 pm

    mrs. hart (she’s goyjus) kicking the crap out of cheggers with her strappy heeled sandals. getting a semi…

  9. Denny
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:29 pm

    Their not kids but it would be cool to see the epic battle that would be Quincy Vs Columbo!
    Just one more thing… Hi-YAA!

  10. SuperGrover
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:35 pm

    oh. kids shows. right. sorry. bye.

  11. maggot
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:38 pm

    Sometimes I lie awake at night thinking about things like this and my overriding thought it ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

    Judging by your previous posts about conversations with Dirty Dave – it’s the company you keep.

  12. morgor the editor
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:45 pm

    Twenty, “my overriding thought it ‘What…”

    methinks you’d be needing “is” rather than “it”.

  13. Denny
    January 29th, 2008 @ 3:50 pm

    A fine contribution there Morgan..

  14. Twenty Major
    January 29th, 2008 @ 4:08 pm

    heh, cheers Morgor.

  15. manuel
    January 29th, 2008 @ 4:12 pm

    chuckle brother 1 v chuckle brother 2 laugh that off you bastards

  16. eoin
    January 29th, 2008 @ 4:15 pm

    Bunny Carr vs Bosco – the puppet would take that sniveling fuck in a second i reckon!

  17. eoin
    January 29th, 2008 @ 4:18 pm

    i think that show that bunny carr did then was actually for kids

  18. Crock
    January 29th, 2008 @ 4:22 pm

    Sooty & Sweep vs The Fingerbobs…. Sweep can dole out a good beating.. but a mouse on a finger… scary AND pointy

  19. Twenty Major
    January 29th, 2008 @ 4:37 pm

    Fingerbobs – haha, I’d forgotten about them.

  20. Silly Old Sod
    January 29th, 2008 @ 4:51 pm

    Aunt Sally and Sally James, a TisWeasel production in wet tee shirts…

  21. roryjohn
    January 29th, 2008 @ 5:06 pm

    Top Cat v Snagglepuss. Exit, stage left!

  22. Lung the Younger.
    January 29th, 2008 @ 5:26 pm

    Oh come on, Morph was basically a clay version of the T-1000 from Terminator 2. He’d kick the crap out of any of them.

    I’d favour a street rumble between the Clangers and those acid dropping Magic Roundabout hippies. I reckon the Soup Dragon would cripple Florence, Ermintrude and Brian within the first minute although Dougle and Zebedee look like they could handle themselves in a ruck. And of course Dillon has a major tactical advantage by being invisible.

  23. problemchildbride
    January 29th, 2008 @ 5:47 pm

    The Moomins rout the Wombles in Bad Day At Fraggle Rock.

  24. Feynman
    January 29th, 2008 @ 5:47 pm

    that Pat Ingoldsby from pats hat could certain have a good fight with himself ..mad as fucking cunt …
    jesus when I think of him sitting around doing his nonsence poems ..how the fuck did rte let him have a show .. he must have been dropping acid like a selfield cloud . Id love to see him fight himself and pull that grey ponytail of his and yank that camp bandana …
    jesus those memories have driven me to drink… 2 pints big man

  25. problemchildbride
    January 29th, 2008 @ 5:47 pm

    What was the witch called on Chorlton and the Wheelies again?

  26. Feynman
    January 29th, 2008 @ 5:52 pm

    pcb –> was that the wan who was ridiing the dosco 120 industrial high brissle …or was she riding the dosco 220 stagefloor model

  27. Twenty Major
    January 29th, 2008 @ 6:34 pm

    Sam – Fenella, I think.

  28. Ibanez
    January 29th, 2008 @ 6:55 pm

    An all playschooler..Hambel V Jemima. I wouldnt fancy picking a winner there .

  29. Monkey Balls
    January 29th, 2008 @ 6:55 pm

    There’s a fantastic site on the Interweb called “Google” or something like that, and if you type “Chorlton and the Wheelies” into the search box on it you get this; http://www.nyanko.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/chamb/chorlton.html

    Just thought I’d pass it on to you Noobs

  30. Monkey Balls
    January 29th, 2008 @ 6:57 pm

    Oh, I forgot to say, the first 5 words on the site are “Fenella the Wicked Kettle Witch”

  31. Monkey Balls
    January 29th, 2008 @ 7:12 pm

    I bet none of them could last 2 minutes up against WitchyPoo from Pippi Longstocking.

  32. Pinkie
    January 29th, 2008 @ 7:47 pm

    Morph — I had almost forgotten that claytastic little fecker.

  33. Bald Devil
    January 29th, 2008 @ 8:05 pm

    Clangers V Wombles.

    The Soup Dragon V Great Uncle Bulgaria.

    Lets get it onnnnnnn!!

  34. cnut
    January 29th, 2008 @ 8:16 pm

    The Man from Atlantis V. Flipper

    Followed by – The Main Event-

    The Mister Men V. Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb.

    To Close:

    Brian Cant from Play Away V. Mick from Magpie

  35. Bald Devil
    January 29th, 2008 @ 8:35 pm

    Wasn’t Mick from Magpie Brian May in a different life??
    What was the name of the blond girl on that show?

  36. Bald Devil
    January 29th, 2008 @ 8:37 pm

    Capt Pugwash V Windy Miller.

    For the Roger the cabinboy Lonsdale belt.

  37. cnut
    January 29th, 2008 @ 8:52 pm

    Jenny Something?

  38. problemchildbride
    January 29th, 2008 @ 9:49 pm

    Wierd. Only lately did I type out that very name. I’m obviously one of the Noobs Monkey Balls was talking about.

    Is a noob a cross between a navel and a boob?

  39. fucksticks
    January 29th, 2008 @ 9:58 pm

    Morph versus his baddy brother would be a great scrap. nice and evenly matched. forget the brothers name but he was a paler colour. He used to do evil shit that morph would end up fixing. I dont know how it didnt come to a head long ago

  40. cnut
    January 30th, 2008 @ 12:47 am

    Didn’t the noobs invade England at the same time as the moops invaded Spain?

  41. problemchildbride
    January 30th, 2008 @ 1:00 am

    Fucksticks – Chas or Chad, I think.

  42. Paul McClean
    January 30th, 2008 @ 10:17 am

    You need to rack it up a decade and pit Stringfellow Hawk against Michael Knight. I’m going to pitch the script to Fox.

  43. Harpo
    January 30th, 2008 @ 10:42 am

    20′s estranged love children as the main event

    Worzel Gummidge v Catweasel

    Who’d win?

    Who’d care?

  44. Walter Ego
    January 30th, 2008 @ 1:50 pm

    Rentaghost Vs Wonderly Wagon
    Let’s Get RRRReady To RRRRumbleA

  45. Eternal Itch
    January 31st, 2008 @ 11:19 am

    Ena Sharples V Minnie Riordan

    C’mon Ireland!

  46. Pish Flaps
    February 2nd, 2008 @ 3:45 am

    Jamie takes his magic torch and batters the fucking head off Hartley hair with it. Let’s see what Mr Pipkin would thik about that eh?

    Speaking of Playschool and Brian Cant, wouldn’t mind an oul tangle with Floella Benjamin myself.

  47. Pish Flaps
    February 2nd, 2008 @ 3:45 am

    *think*

  48. Pish Flaps
    February 2nd, 2008 @ 3:50 am

    “It’s time for Hartley to tell a story”

    NO IT’S FUCKING NOT!!

    Jamie lifts his magic torch and …BLAM, BLAM, BLAM

    Hartley is then strung up by his own pupeteer.

    Christ, I’m fucking sick.

  49. herb
    February 13th, 2008 @ 12:56 pm

    Professor Yaffle is by far the hardest after trouncing the full cast of Battle Of the Planets. Being wood is great when everyone else is flesh and bone

  50. karlzips
    June 5th, 2008 @ 10:04 am

    mary tyler moore and rhoda slap it out in a bitch fest fight… now i would tune into that!!

  51. karlzips
    June 5th, 2008 @ 10:08 am

    what about lolek and bolek fight to the death with knives.. or am i the only person in ireland who remembers this cartoon ?? everyone i talk to says who!!! mrs slocambe v maggie riordan now theres a fight where you could see serious actions and limbs missing…

  52. karlzips
    June 5th, 2008 @ 10:12 am

    ok my last one what about dustin the turkey fighting that gaylord bungle from rainbow … go on ya gud thing ya… ( yeah yeah yeah i know dustin is from the 90,s but no kids were harmed in writing this email)

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