It just never stops
Posted on | January 24, 2008 | 484 Comments
“Here, I was reading your blog last night”, said Dirty Dave.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ve got one for your celebrity names thing.”
“Go on then.”
“Ron the Carman – he’ll look after your automobile!”
“Erm…”
“Timmy the Bollix – the Famous Five dog is a bit of a hard bastard!”
“Uhm…”
“Stinking Pepe – smelly French barfly!”
“Guh…”
“Dirty Cave – with one letter I become Oprah’s anal passage!”
“That’s enough now.”
“Splodgi – birthmarked bloke becomes famous Dingle dolphin.”
“That doesn’t even work, you twat.”
“Mucky Luciano – mud covered compassionate assassin!”
“That one’s not bad.”
“Twenty Manor – chain smoking, Guinness drinking, white-beared country estate!”
“Capital work. But really, that’s enough.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right, I’d best head off anyway. I’ve rented a DVD to watch.”
“Oh yeah? What did you get?”
“That one about the yiddish speaking shark.”
“Eh?”
“Jews!
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484 Responses to “It just never stops”
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January 24th, 2008 @ 8:28 am
Starring Kike Myers?
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:30 am
heh
I did go the cinema this weekend to see that one about the aged farmyard bird who’s finding life difficult to understand.
I heartily recommend ‘No country for old hen’.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:36 am
Brilliant! Another day of it. I’ll be back later. Need some sleep first.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:43 am
Did you see the one about the bloke who rode around on a horse, knocking lumps out of people? Jockey, I think it was called.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:44 am
Go to bed.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:47 am
You’re after start me off now. How can I possibly sleep?
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:48 am
I can ring Heath Ledger’s agent for you, see if he has any tips.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:52 am
too soon twenty, too soon
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:55 am
You’re right. I have a lady calling in about half an hour, as soon as she gets her kids locked up in school. I’ll take a break.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:56 am
Can I just say that yesterdays frolics were fucking hilarious. Except for Porridge’s efforts. He’s a fucking moron.
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:05 am
Twenty, if we’re gonna be doing films today I think you should relax the rules a little.
No, on second thoughts, let’s just continue yesterdays. There’s still millions more of them.
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:06 am
Was that Ledger fellow not in the cowboy film about sore bottoms?
Blaming Saddles.
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:18 am
I have to admit I’m finding this one very difficult. I don’t go to the cinema very often. I think the last one I saw was the one about Will Smith’s ankle, I Am Leg End
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:20 am
I went to see a great movie about a Jewish cowboy. Billy the Yid.
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:24 am
Or the one starring Gary Glitter, where he conducts an affair with a 10 year old over the internet, “You’ve Got Jail”
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:29 am
Or the secret agent with eight penises, “Octopissy”
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:29 am
Di went down.. Dodi’s last blow job in the back of a merc.
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:32 am
Polterheist – invisible ghosts pull off the bank robbery of a lifetime.
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:34 am
Last Mango in Paris – same film, just a bit more fruity
Bootsie – Funk legend pretends to be women to get on TV
Lard of the Rings – hobbit on hobbit, greased up anal action
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:35 am
Apaarently Woody Allen has brought out a documentary about foot fetishes.
Everything you ever wanted to know about sox but were afraid to ask.
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:36 am
Hamster-faced psycho goes on killing spree in the woods – Forrest Mump
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:38 am
Glen Hansard stars in musical about former Man United star – Ince
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:42 am
Staying with the Jewish theme, the dark tale of of a miscarriage of justice on the West Bank.
Who framed Roger Rabbi
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:49 am
Mentl – a film about Barbara Streisand being considered sexy
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:51 am
Woodfellas – Italian American Carpenters run black market furniture racket
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:52 am
The underwater voyeur – The Peep
Here she comes, see y’all later
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:52 am
A film about teenage Internet addiction: Porn Free
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:55 am
The sad story of the speech impediment that proved oh so costly.
Schindlers Lisp
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:57 am
Alien Lifefrom develops Unix based software application to send himself home in I.T
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:03 am
Maxi Driver – Robert de Niro’s daily struggle to get RTE presenter to Montrose by 6 am
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:04 am
Little Miss Sunshite – family trails around in camper van to bring cute kid to the national pooing championships
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:05 am
Star Wart – follow Luke Skywalker’s exploits as he attempts to remove a hideous growth from his foot
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:08 am
The Lives of Otters – Stasi spy on riverbank during Cold War
Jurassic Pork – documentary on how old Denny’s meat products are
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:10 am
The Mirror has two Faeces – Barbara Streisand tries to save her shitty marriage.
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:19 am
Dumbfuck Mountian-two assholes, one condom.
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:19 am
Boldfinger – Bond pleasures his own anus.
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:21 am
Poor old Livingstone, lost for all those years in the jungle…
wait for it…
Desperately seeking Sudan
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:21 am
PS I Killed You – Michelle Williams getting her own back on Heath Ledger at his bedside
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:26 am
Four Weldings and a Funeral – initial success at the iron works is followed by tragedy
Doctor So – bond film with nonchalant villian
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:27 am
Some people are just completely stupid really.
Lord of the fries – Load of kids battle it out on an island to see who can cook the best full Irish breakfast.
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:28 am
Some people aren’t getting it – you can only change 1 LETTER in the title. Not whole words. Cheating bastards.
Austin Towers – Groovy secret agent lives in Ballymun
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:33 am
Oh right sorry – must have missed the rules.. Fuking Dillweed
The Hand that Focks The Cradle – Paedo D4 head goes crazy on local kids?
Ah?
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:37 am
That’s better!
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:44 am
Cook who’s Talkin – Deep fried Talking children
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:53 am
Finding Demo-Eminem a young white rapper from Detroit teams up with Nemo to crack the record industry.
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:53 am
Sarah, you’re shit at this.
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:56 am
The most uncomfortable night of all.
Sleeping with the enema.
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:58 am
Saving Pirate Ryan
Expedition to rescue ancient Irish sailor who robs english fleet
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:02 am
Resident Evel – Stunt biker turns zombie killer
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:02 am
Al Pacino sticks out his tongue to frighten young children children in ‘Scaryface’.
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:03 am
In the Name of the Lather – Dad & son suds each other up in the slammer
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:05 am
Moulin Gouge – Nicole Kidman scratches out Ewen McGregor’s eyes after his terrible singing becomes too much to bear
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:06 am
Romeo and Julien – A modern take an old classic
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:13 am
White men cunt jump – Woody Harrelson tries S&M.
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:15 am
He Got Lame – Ex Basket-Ball player develops rare leg eating disease
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:16 am
Pulp Diction – Jarvis Cocker and Co take elocution lessons.
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:17 am
Resevoir Logs – The journey of one mans poo from bog to treatment plant
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:21 am
Wig – Tom Hanks asks for full head of hair
Jig – Tom Hanks asks to be Michael Flately
Cig – Tom Hanks asks to smoke
Dig – Tom Hanks asks to have sex with Princess Diana
Pig – Tom Hanks asks to have sex with Geri Halliwell
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:22 am
Bin City – Dublin gets whacked
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:32 am
10 Things I Hate About Poo – Heath Ledger collects 10 dumps trying to detail his hatrid of it but dies from a lethal strain of E. Coli!
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:32 am
Oh yeah the 1 letter thing… Couldnt resist though
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:34 am
Rush Pour – Jackie Chan spills the milk.
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:44 am
Into the Vest – Two itinerant kids try to master the authentic “Rab C Nesbitt” look
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:51 am
Battlestan Galactica – can the universe be saved from the evil Staunton?
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:55 am
Resevoir Digs. Student Accomodation just got interesting
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:57 am
Star Wars II: Attack of the Cloves. What IS that fucking smell?
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:01 pm
Cocky – Big headed bloke gets his comeuppance to stomping beats of Eye of the Tiger
Picnic at Hanging Cock – actually should have left that one for Johnny5
Last Temptation of Chrisp – the one with the burnt at the stake ending
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:03 pm
The Beer Hunter – Bobby DeNiro goes inn search of the Nearest liquor store.
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:05 pm
Silence of the Lamps.
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:06 pm
A fist full of Collars.- Brutal Western where priests are rounded up and flogged.
Shindler’s lisp- He thaved the jews the only way he knew how.
Jurassic Pork- vicious pre historic monster pigs flee Pink.
Top-gut- fat pilots make people ill during volley ball scene.
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:09 pm
Gone with the Wine. Rhetts Left and this time hes Shitfaced
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:10 pm
SS I Love You – Taoiseach’s daughter develops Nazi fixation
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:11 pm
Michael douglas wines and dines assorted baked goods in….Romancing the scone
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:15 pm
What about Job – Life on the dole
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:16 pm
Dressing gowns from different sides of the tracks battle it out in War of the Robes
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:27 pm
Inforgiven – plenty of other teams fancy signing the Newcastle and Ireland keeper.
Married to the Bob – Michelle Pfeiffer wishes it was the mafia instead when she finds herself hitched to the former lead singer of the Boomtown Rats
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:33 pm
Jeebus help me, not again….
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
Dye Hard – Bruce Willis goes platinum blond, but with some difficulty
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
Scabface – Tony Montana’s coldsore causes him to go crazy
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:44 pm
Light Club – Protaganist and his alter ego set up underground step aerobics club
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:49 pm
There’s Something about Gary – the Glitter band become concerned when Gary asks to tour schools.
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:50 pm
The Fucket List – Two terminally ill cancer patients make a list of things they don’t give a shit about.
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:55 pm
Aussie Wildlife expert meets a grizzly end in…
That’ll Be The Ray
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:56 pm
Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder take the piss in
Silverstream
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:57 pm
Young Drankenstein – Alcoholic monster caper
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:58 pm
Nuns on the hun – Steamey thriller sees Dr Ian Paisley deflower some very naughty nuns
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
Citizen Sane
the rise and fall of a mentalist newspaper publisher who’s wealth and power drive him completely normal
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
Rang ‘em High – Clint Eastwood gets revenge by making prank phonecalls while getting stoned
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
Wee no Evil, hear no evil – Richard Pryor struggles with dysentry(sp?)
January 24th, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
The Wife of Brian – she’s a very naughty boy!
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:02 pm
Documentary on the whereabouts of the various Kennedy roadkill victims…
In Golden Pond
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:02 pm
Womb Raider – Angelina Jolie stars in this action packed abortion thriller
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:03 pm
The Thong – science expedition in the artic uncover extra-terestial underwear.
Leaping Las Vegas – suicidal man decides to jump Las Vegas
Apocalypse How – American think tank on middle east.
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:03 pm
Glade Runner
Watch Deckard eliminate rogue replicants with only his air-freshener
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:03 pm
Allen – Ripley and her crew encounter a strange life form while on a an expedition in outer space, in the form of celebrity chef Darina Allen
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:07 pm
Exercises for limbo dancers.
Pilates of the Carribean
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:08 pm
Yobimbo
Jordan disembowels peter andre with samurai sword?
Now I’d fuckin pay to see that
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:08 pm
The lost of the Mohicans – weird haircutted Indian just doesn’t know where he is
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:08 pm
Big Fist – Death-bed father recounts stories to his son on, including how he won his mother over
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:09 pm
Kremlins. Dont give the furry hatted feckers any more vodka after midnight.
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:12 pm
The Pistman Always Rings Twice – He doesnt remember ringing the first time
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:13 pm
Courtroom drama centres on the activities of a negligent picture-hanger.
Kramer vs Framer
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:14 pm
to Kill a Rockingbird
Cobain returns from the grave to get revenge on that courtney love wagon for being a savage cunt
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:18 pm
Monthy Python and the Holy Brail
Four brave knights search for rare version of the bible, published for the blind
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:19 pm
The Maltese Fatcon – Sam Spade’s partner is murdered by some fat Maltese bitch
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:21 pm
B.A. confidential
Mohawked and bejeweled nutbar cleans up the corrupt streets of hollywood
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:21 pm
Dirty Hairy – nuff said
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:21 pm
Ferris Buellers Lay Off – Ferris’s first day after being made redundant
The Quilt Man – Sean Thornton introduces duvets to Ireland
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:23 pm
Matman Forever – Des Kelly is frozen in carbonite
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:24 pm
Mo, myself and Irene – Simpson’s barman suddenly finds he has three fat black kids
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:25 pm
Push Hour – Jackie Chan tries his hand at Midwifery
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:25 pm
2001 A Spice Odyssey: Korma in space
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:26 pm
The Manchunian Candidate
Depressed warbler morrissey in secret plot to take over the presidency of the united states
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:27 pm
The Fiddler on the Poof – Antsy man plays around with his gay lover
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:27 pm
Wank the Line: Johnny Cash self abusing and taking cocaine
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:27 pm
Chariots of Hire – Roman transport rental drama
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:28 pm
the tale of the Wicklow farmer who dared to dream of winning the Gold Cup with his prize beast
Racing Bull
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:28 pm
Wank On the Wild Side: Monkey Balls pleasures himself in Finglas
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:29 pm
Sambo – Vietnam vet goes crazy after the cops try and eat his lunch
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:29 pm
The Stink
Two grifters conspire to punish evil mob boss for shitin on their friend. ya folla?
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
Full Metal Packet – armoured cigarette carton to stop them getting crushed in the pocket
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
A tale of exotic fish – Coy Story
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
Drop Cone – Wesley Snipes jumps from plane after losing his spliff.
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
Duno
Pregnant teen, but who’s the father?
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
Kiln Bill – One woman’s quest to extract the gold out of her former boss
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:33 pm
I know it should be Koi but I needed to shoe-horn in a bad pun
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
Apocolypse Cow: The bovine contribution to global warming is finally realised
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
Fuck Soup
The Marx brothers rebel against their strict new diet
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:36 pm
Paul Newman experiments with paper pants in
The Rustler
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:37 pm
IS THERE A PRIZE TWENTY?
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:37 pm
Arnie becomes a builder in the future in Total Rewall
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:38 pm
The Coloour of Honey: Kinda Brown
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
Fart Apache the Bronx: Native American gets windy in New York
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
Cystic River
Cruel disease prevents detective continuing search for his daughters killer
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:40 pm
The Longest Bard A touching tale of the Poet who grew too much
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:40 pm
Bumbi
Gay deer porn
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:41 pm
A history of Sweet making in Paris.
The French Confection
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:44 pm
Bagsy Malone: He always gets picked first
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:44 pm
Das Boon
Fat-faced english biker turns traitor and joins a nazi submarine crew
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:49 pm
The Good Merman
He-mans nemesis has a change of heart
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:49 pm
Binders Keepers. Intrigue in the murky world of book repair
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
Bootloose: Well tie your feckin laces
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:52 pm
Three escaped convicts journey through the Deep South trying to get a shag.
O Brothel, Where Art Thou?
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:57 pm
Bagel
American vacationers in morocco cant get a decent breakfast
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:58 pm
Bind it like Beckham: Sado-Masochistic romp dressed up as poncey former Man U player
January 24th, 2008 @ 1:59 pm
Theatre nurse finds it hard readjusting to her mundane existence after an adventure holiday in
Back to the Suture
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:04 pm
Three escaped convicts journey through the Deep South trying to get a shag.
O Brothel, Where Art Thou?
haha
Serial Tom – The Cruiser ditches Scientology for a life of murder
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:07 pm
Bird on a Hire – Protected Witness Mel Gibson bumps into Goldie Hawn and “rents” her to fill the time
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:15 pm
9 1/2 Geeks – Nine computer nerds and a dwarf surf the Internet for porn
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
Good Pill Hunting – ravers quest for drugs
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
The Gobfather – the dramatic tale of the rise a gangster who just won’t shut the fuck up
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:28 pm
Nappy Feet – Humans start excrementing through the terminal part of their leg
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:29 pm
Cannibals star in the real life drama
Cook who’s coming to dinner.
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:33 pm
or white middle class british family struggle when daughter brings home islamic fundamentalist Abu Hamza. . . .Hook who’s coming to dinner
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:33 pm
Hey leave the Jews alone.
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:35 pm
The Bitches Of Eastwick- Same same but different.
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:37 pm
Lig – overnight boy becomes a man who’s always on the take
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
Tea Biscuit – The story of an overlooked digestive and how its unexpectedness made it famous
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
Ron goes off the rails and loses his memory in
Dude, Where’s my bar?
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:40 pm
When Harry Bet Sally- A story of domestic violence and all it entails.
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:42 pm
About a Goy – D4 Head writes a story about himself
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:42 pm
American Die- Jason Biggs gets his cumuppance at last.
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:44 pm
Yelp! – A film about The Beatles’ singing abilities
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:46 pm
Cocky – Annoyingly overconfident underdog comes out of nowhere to take the heavyweight crown.
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:48 pm
The Karate Yid- Jew boy learns self defense.
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:48 pm
Cocky 2 – and then thankfully loses the crown only to return to take it back (with no humility) in many subsequent sequels
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:51 pm
Kelp – Ringo’s film about his Octupus’s Garden
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:53 pm
The Forlorn Identity: Damon becomes an even whinger cunt, killing people with his frowns!
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:55 pm
Mr Strangelove – he got struck off
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:55 pm
The Forlorn Identity: Damon becomes an even whinger cunt, killing people with his frowns!
No, change 1 letter. That is all.
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:57 pm
countryside lovemaking
Forest Hump
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
Last Sango in Paris
Two culchies, lost on their way to a match in croker, fight over the last of the provisions.
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
The lives of Nigerians sent home
The Deported
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
Shaking Jake
Contestants shake the shit out of Jp.Stevens or whatever the fuck is name is til he cant whistle anymore!
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:00 pm
Woody Allens take on the dormitories of schoolboys and the goings on therein
Acnie Hall (sic)
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:01 pm
The Sinth Sense
Jean Michel Jarre receives keyboard masterpieces from beyond the grave
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:01 pm
Scratch of the day
Liniker and the boys give a 100%
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:01 pm
Strange story of the outlawing of cane furniture on a remote Scotttish Island.
The Whicker Ban
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:02 pm
School of Rick. 80s pop sensation Rick Astley passes on his wealth of knowledge.
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
A Liver Runs Through It – Tragic tale of an alcoholic brother
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
Twelve Pints, Two Joints and a Kebab :
Days of Chunder
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
Perfect Pay – Fantasy movie staring Rob Lowe as a very happy employee of a multi national company
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
Margo
Pregnant country singer/sheriff asks questions to unravel a kidnapping plot and the string of murders it produces in Northern Donegal
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
Aidan Quinn is rasta bringing weed to orphanages in
Bong for scraggy boy
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
Stan By Me – The biggest mistake of Delaney’s career (thus far)
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:07 pm
Movie about a disturbed teenage boy with a dodgy moustache.
Ronnie Darko
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:08 pm
Clear and present ranger – a park worker’s fight against the communist threat
Margo – The Coen brothers direct Daniel O’Donnell’s sister in a crime tale gone bad
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:08 pm
Attack of teh killer Poets
The Bards
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:10 pm
The Gay After Tomorrow – The start of the descruction of a relationship
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:10 pm
A banker starts driving up interest rates in the
The Heartbreak Yid
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:10 pm
Good Will Bunting
Docu-drama. Follows the residents of Abbey-Duniry, Galway, as they decorate their homes in an effort to inspire their team in the upcoming county final
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:11 pm
Twenty you cunt, you totally stole my Margo!
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:11 pm
Gorillas in the Miso – Japanese man finds family of hairy mammals living in his soup
Dear Window – Jimmy Stewart writes love letters to a pane of glass
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:12 pm
Madness concert going, trilby wearing monster..
Modzilla
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
Fig Trouble in Little China. Fruit Wars spill over on the the streets
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
Bertigo – taoiseach falls in love with a mysterious benefactor he has been hired to help
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
The Hand Before Time – The story of a serial masterbater
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
The mam who wasn’t there – unobtrusive, chain smoking mother sees the opportunity to change her life in a tale of blackmail and adultery
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
Blocked Up – The tragic story of anal abuse
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:16 pm
Tom cruise takes on the might of the Russian military with only a bottle of Bombay sapphire to help him in;
Top Gin
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:17 pm
The Worlds Lastest Indian
Paltry last of the mohicans sequel
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
A chilling tale on the urine-ridded streets of china
Bag Trouble in Little China
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:21 pm
Top Gum – tom cruise defeats the might of the russian military with his damamged F-15 held together with only with pritt.
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
Schindler’s Pissed – Docudrama on how a drunk wipes out the occupants of a bar
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
The 39 stops. The Spy who got on the wrong bus
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
Mastaaaa – only 1 letter change per film title
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
The Pound of Music – The Von Trapp family discover German techno
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:25 pm
Falling Gown – Crazed man goes on a killing spree as a reulst of his cross dressing discovery
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:25 pm
Spudfellas – Motion picture about Irish gangsters in the town of Ballyfree
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:25 pm
oh right – didnt spot that
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:26 pm
The Last Ring oF Scotland
Idi Amin Sits on peoples faces!
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:26 pm
The Farm
Tom Cruise as a Harvard Law School graduate who inherits his uncles land in Lisnalurg, Co. Sligo
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:27 pm
Might Club – A story of stoners who dont really do much
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:28 pm
Children of the Porn – and i’m stopping there…
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:28 pm
El Postino. Italian Postman goes to Costa Del Sol. Bunch of stuff happens.
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:28 pm
Apocalypse Sow – Terrifying story of an old bag gone mad
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
Sight Club – a tale of violence and the visually impaired
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
Cool Hand, Like. Card Sharks in Cork.
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
Soilders defect from a drug addiction in
The Thin Glue Line
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:31 pm
“El Postino. Italian Postman goes to Costa Del Sol. Bunch of stuff happens”
Lazy so-and-so
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
Sorry fucksticks, crossover there. You got in just before me.
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
21 Prams
The latest Roddy Doyle effort, interwoven tales of single mothers that meet every morning on the 17A from Coolcok to Finglas
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
Cemento – a man who draws in concrete to remember the past
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
“Cool Hand, Like. Card Sharks in Cork”
Thats more like it, like!
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:33 pm
Ke7en – The annoying guy from American Pie goes psycho killer
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:34 pm
The tragic story of the death of one of Ireland’s rising stars, Katie French.
It’s A Wonderful Line
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
The Empire Strokes Back – The emporer and Darth Vader tug each other off while building the new Death Star
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
Documentry on the construction of the Fanta factory
A Blockwork Orange
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
Some like it not – tony curtis and marylin monroe in cross dressing comedy that just doesn’t work
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:37 pm
Dangerous Minks
A Horror Classic. You’ll never go back into Sligo Town again!
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:37 pm
N.A. Confidential – A story about lack of privacy
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:38 pm
Cool Gunnings – Stories of the activities of the majority of West Dublin
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:38 pm
Forrest Lump – A tale of expanding skin cancer
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:39 pm
Pitt stars in a drama set on mary street
Legends of the Stall
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:39 pm
Raging Pull – Guy loses penis to self-abuse
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:40 pm
Star Bars: Classic Good versus Evil Confectionary
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
Malcom (HE)X
Denzel casts spells on the clan
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
Twisted – An Irish man’s dream
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
The story of an expanding waistline…
Fatman Begins
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
Margo – The story of some oul tramp from Ballymun
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
The Green Pile – Story of an infected arse
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
Blue Crust
A talented female surfer’s career is brought to an abrupt end by a rotten batch loaf
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
Fie Another Day – Victorian James Bond is not keen on another day in the office
Chunderball – James Bond pursues a vomit monster… with sexy results
Moonraper – Our hero Jimmy B. pursues and aging Ursula Andress across the surface of the moon.
The Spy Who Loved Ge – writes itself
Licence to Pill – Bond goes undercover in Finglas to uncover a teenage yokefest
The Man with the Golden Pun
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
National Treasure: Bonk Of Secrets
A Steamy sequel with Nick Cage Shagging his way through his weak plot lines
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
Bob Hoskins comes clean in
Who Shamed Roger Rabbit?
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
Margo. Shut up.
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:45 pm
LOL – Fucksticks!!!!!
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:45 pm
Glamiator – Ridley Scott’s face paint and knee high hoor boots epic
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:46 pm
The Sixth Pense – Tayto counts his change
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:48 pm
Setters from Iwo Jima – The story of Irish dogs in world war too
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:49 pm
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Dood. Way!
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:49 pm
Dog Gay Afternoon – A man find love inside his male dogs….
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:51 pm
Brainspotting – An RTE documentary following the search for intelligence in small irish towns
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:53 pm
The Kike Runner – Exodus of an affluent Jew
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:54 pm
Cock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels – A woman takes 2 at a time
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:54 pm
Do The Sight Thing – A story of New Yorkers looking at stuff
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:54 pm
The Bridges of Madison Bounty – but will the coconut based chocolate treats be able to support all that traffic?
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:55 pm
Got Fuzz – Preteens check out each other crotches…oh God….
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:55 pm
The Bog Lebowski – Stoner cuts peat while drinking white russians
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
Pain Man – When Cruise’s plan backfires and his autistic brother counts his broken thumbs.
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:58 pm
Gagnolia – A story about choking on boccolli
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:58 pm
is this a record ? welldone 20
January 24th, 2008 @ 3:59 pm
wizards play practical jokes on farmers in The Wand the Shakes the Barley
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:00 pm
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Gearl – Racists take over Jack Sparrow’s ship
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:01 pm
Lean – Film on the influx of skinny eastern european girls into Ireland and their impact on both the self confidence of Irish heffers and the pants of Irish boyo’s.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:02 pm
The Mighty Fucks. The story of Munster Rugby.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:02 pm
Pilates of the Carribean. Jack Gets in Shape
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:03 pm
Douglas smokes weed and sits on a dildo for two hours in The Wondertoys
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:03 pm
A pair of magic shoes turn the wearer into a theiving gypsy bastard:
Like Pike
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:05 pm
Dace Off. No school!!
Sorry
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:06 pm
Donnie and Clyde – Donnie Darko preque – Donnie finds himself low on cash
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:07 pm
Boyz N the Dood – Black guys gangbang white stoner
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:08 pm
Slow White and the Seven Dwarfs – Louis Walsh sends his new boy band off to work
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:10 pm
The Spa who loved me.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:10 pm
Simpsons Alien finally settles in Springfield
Citizen Kang
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:12 pm
Chicken Fun – Beastiality for the family
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:13 pm
Good Will Cunting- Matt Damon stars again with maths and porn in perfect harmony.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
I.T. the Extra-Terrestrial – People try to communicate with the alien IT specialists….
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
Training Gay – Denzel Puts Elton John through his paces
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
Best of the Bunch?
Im voting for alexkintner:
Bertigo – taoiseach falls in love with a mysterious benefactor he has been hired to help
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
Kevin Costner as an Iowa Farmer decides to build a fish farm without water (Cunt):
Field of Breams
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
Merry Maguire – Tom Cruise get locked after his last mission
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
That was not thought through at all sorry
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:19 pm
Glade Runner- track down the 4 replicants before giving them a good dusting.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
I think John Waters was right?
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
Boys in the hood – The white version.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
Sexy Feast – Ray Winstone eats a medieval banquet all by himself, ably assisted by Carol Vorderman
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:22 pm
Poop Dreams – Basketball player dreams of scat
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:22 pm
A honeyed alcholic brew comes to life terrorizing the world
Night of the Living Mead
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:23 pm
Meet the Fuckers.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:23 pm
The Fadness of King George – The king gets into fashion
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
A Simple Flan
Early Coen Bros cookery outing
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
Steamy MILF action
seven rides for seven mothers
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:26 pm
The Remains of the Gay – Detectives search for the killer of a rent boy
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:26 pm
Bedwolf. Worst Wolf Ever
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:27 pm
Pushmore – A story of childbirth
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:27 pm
My Life as a Cog
emmm… wheel bio
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:29 pm
Goy Story – The tale of a Blackrock wanker
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:30 pm
bad boy pubby
Australian clingwrap killer always down the pub
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:30 pm
Feetlejuice – A docudrama about foot sweat fetish
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:31 pm
Lonely housewife seeks action after her husbands death in The Wife of David Gale
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:32 pm
A pair of curtains are made homeless after being replaced by Ikea bamboo blinds.
The Drapes of Wrath
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:32 pm
Harrison Ford protects a boy from Cork,
Witless.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:33 pm
Beverly Kills Cop
Star Trek The Next Generation Episode No. 500003x10e3
Beverly Crusher gets in an escalating altercation with a law enforcer with tragic results.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:34 pm
The story of a model and her battle with Bulemia…
Beauty and the Feast
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:35 pm
Dead Mingers – A story of necrophilia
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:35 pm
Desperately Leeking Susan – The tragic end to a woman who was constantly horny
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:36 pm
Taking viagra on american independence day..
Horn on the fourth of July
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:36 pm
Pie Hard – A sequel to Supersize me
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:36 pm
Psychl
Trevor Sargent – serial killer on a bike
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:39 pm
The Milling Fields – Guy goes to work on farm but its not corn he’s cutting down…
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:39 pm
4.14 recurring
darren aaronofsky’s maths error drama
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
The Cast Temptation of Christ – “God I cant wank with this broken arm”
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
Sheepless in Seattle. The story of ovine love
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
Bola – The prequel to ebola…
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
Secrets and Pies
Mike Leigh exposes the PDs
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:42 pm
Mad Sax – Serial killer beats people to death with brass instrument
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:43 pm
Run Lolz Run. A story af a happy marathon specialist
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:43 pm
My Left Boot – Documentary – What happened to the footwear after the film shot it to fame
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:43 pm
willy wanka
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:44 pm
A Nightdare on Elm Street – Kids do dares on Freddy
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
A documentary about the impact of the wonder bra…
Its a wonderful lift
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
Raiders of the Lost Ars – A group of men search for the hole of all holes
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
A psychopathic stool breaks from prison
Shite Heat
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
What’s Eating Dilbert Grape – nerdy cartoon gets really fat
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:46 pm
ok they are gettin silly, havent laughed out loud since “SS I love you” -the best of the day
I’m off
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:46 pm
The Tight Stuff – A story about changing lanes without indicating
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:47 pm
need to get Monkey out of his drug induced coma
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:48 pm
The Thin Glue Line – The story of space ship Discovery
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:49 pm
Phone Tooth – Colins Farrell (cunt) calls his dentist.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:52 pm
This is worse than drugs I am off to find something more wholesome like Crack.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:52 pm
Hot without my children. Page 3 girl shuns her own kids.
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:52 pm
Lame
Aidonius and his classmates from theatre school produce shite jokes for a stand-up workshop
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:52 pm
LoL – Pish!!!
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:53 pm
It’s my first day ?
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:54 pm
9
Bo Derek lets herself go a bit
January 24th, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
explosm.net/comics/800/ is amusing comics
January 24th, 2008 @ 5:19 pm
Robomop – Story of an automated cleaning brush
January 24th, 2008 @ 5:53 pm
8 Pile, Story of a young white rapper and his struggle to overcome a bad case of haemmorroids
January 24th, 2008 @ 5:58 pm
Hobocop, Nick Nolte gets a job with the LAPD in the sequel to Down and out in Beverly Hills
January 24th, 2008 @ 6:06 pm
The Bong Good Friday- …..eh……Bob Hopkins makes a right hash of it *ahem*.
That’s it. I’m done………perhaps. Damn you Twenty. Damn you!
January 24th, 2008 @ 6:21 pm
Breaking the rules, just this once…
The Midshite express, the tale of a man’s daring, pants-down, cubicle-switch when he realises there’s no jaxroll left in the dispenser
January 24th, 2008 @ 6:28 pm
The Goolies – on the search for the evil pirate One Eyed Willie
January 24th, 2008 @ 6:45 pm
Forrest Gimp – a raunchy S&M flick, set in Phoenix Park
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:02 pm
Vet Cemetery – where deceased animal doctors come back to life
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:09 pm
Transfarmers – Robotic aliens come to earth and disguise themselves as john deere tractors
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:15 pm
8.7% of all comments for this blog so far have come from Twenty Major himself.
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:16 pm
…that we know of..
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:16 pm
Pission to Mars – After drinking 30 pints of lager without pause, our hero finds that his bladder is about to ‘supernova’
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:21 pm
Spareballs – fiction chick flick
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:27 pm
How do you know, Statto?
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:27 pm
Dong for a raggy boy……actually that might have been a more appropriate title
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:35 pm
Willy the kid – Bugsy Malone-style western flick, directed by Michael Jackson
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:41 pm
Fast and the Curious – Young men with flash cars meet up at night to race and have fun
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:47 pm
The Whining – Jack Nicholson stars as a murderous husband who, understandably, wants to kill his whingy, ugly bitch wife Shelly Duvall. A comedy for all the family
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:48 pm
Time for the law to get a grip of itself…
Agent Cody Wanks
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:50 pm
The TommyKnackers….Itinerants from Offaly stumble upon a mysterious metallic object that has a devastating impact on the mindset of the inhabitants of the halting site.
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:55 pm
Bloody hell, nearly 700 comments in two days on the same thing. This is sheer genius. But damn you for distracting me for so long reading this bollox and wasting even more time thinking up totally dire contributions.
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:56 pm
Anaddin
A young boy finds a magical genie in a bottle of painkillers
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:57 pm
The Rothman Prophecies – Richard Gere investigates strange psychic visions of Rothmans smokers dying horrible deaths
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:57 pm
tommyknackers! fuckin genuis
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:57 pm
Lady and the Cramp – Disney’s classic on PMT
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:57 pm
genius
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:57 pm
Meant to say for this post…
January 24th, 2008 @ 7:59 pm
you’v dropped to 8.5%
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:00 pm
Poor lass with fungal infection deals with irritating cunt.
Irma La Douche
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:01 pm
Mullitt
A rebel cop refuses to play by the book and lets his hair grow long, but only at the back
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:05 pm
Cattleship Potemkin – Communist Russia’s response to Orwell’s Animal Farm
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:06 pm
G*A*S*H
Gynecologists are draft during the Korean war
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:08 pm
Hume Alone – ex-SDLP head is abandoned by his party
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:09 pm
For the Brazilian in you…
She’s Gotta Shave It
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:13 pm
Weekend at Bertie’s – Two Fianna Fail ministers try to pretend that the Taoiseach is actually alive, a confused Enda Kenny wants him dead
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:18 pm
The Meaning of Fife – Sting plays more shit instruments in this crap film.
Dannie Darko – Mr. O’Daniel explores some back door fun.
A Dam and Paul – One Dublin junkie goes to Holland to smuggle weed.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:19 pm
Death Pish – See #118
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:19 pm
#2 should be Mr O’Donnell.
D’oh!
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:19 pm
Never Been Pissed – A biography about Drew Barrymore’s life before she starred in ET.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:22 pm
Out in the country a smallholder is delighted to be connected to the national sewage grid after years of struggling with a small cess pit.
Man With Two Drains
(I’ll get me coat)
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:23 pm
The Longest Hard
Gay Porno
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:23 pm
The wedding flanner – want egg based desserts at your nuptials? He’s your man.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:24 pm
A wank in the park – Puerile way to spend the afternoon
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:24 pm
The Great E scale
Steve Mcqueen plays a blind deaf and dumb kid who is a piano prodigy
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:28 pm
The Minger – Mary Harney pretends to suffer from downs syndrome in an attempt to get away with fucking up the health system. With a face like hers, everyone falls for it
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:29 pm
Fight breaks out in jewel’n'sausage shop: Breakfist At Tiffany’s
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:30 pm
Clap Shot
Paul Newmans as a urologist who plays dirty to cure his clients
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:30 pm
Swallow Hal – Rosemary’s appetite gets totally out of hand in the sequel to Shallow Hal
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:31 pm
The Three Stooles
starring twenty himself in this tale of an epic poo
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:36 pm
Slag Her, She’s French – Katy gets abuse from all angles, even posthumously
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:37 pm
The Rummy Returns
A dipso blogger makes a mint by writing a book and turns his back on his local and his mates for glamour of hollywood.
Eventually, though, he see the error of his ways and drops into Rons for a pint
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:38 pm
Documentary about the nurse in charge of bed baths at the old peoples home.
Confessions of a widow cleaner
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:39 pm
Shame
A lone gunslinger gets a little too close to the son of the man who takes him in
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:41 pm
Gee Movie – Live from the hive of porn
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:42 pm
The Big Skeep
A french man living in Dublin needs to clean out his overflowing garage
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:43 pm
The Night of the Munter
Sure we’ve all been there..
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:43 pm
390 comments on this. What the fuck is wrong with you people?
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:44 pm
Charlie Wilson’s Ear – The Mujaheddin get pissed off when the ransom doesn’t arrive
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:44 pm
Im unemployed and live with me ma
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
Rapo Man – Emilio Estevez stars in wacky alien porno
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:55 pm
Good one fucksticks ! I just don’t have the time nor the inclination to read 400 comments about fuckall. Good luck t’ya.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:55 pm
Cowfinger – Steve Martin develops a strange sexual urge to stick his hand up the asses of cows
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:56 pm
The Wedding Minger – documentary about the ugly bridesmaids that noone ever wants to dance with.
January 24th, 2008 @ 8:59 pm
The Dykes of Hazzard – Bo and Luke can’t seem to get any action in Hazzard County since Jessica Simpson showed up….
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:03 pm
Mad Kax – Flourescent underwear with tinsel trimming and 4 USB sockets
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:07 pm
Malcolm I – the first in the 10 part series
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
The Blurs Brothers – Quentin Albarn & Ulick Cox save an orphanage
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:20 pm
Black Hawk Gown – Somalians anger at US fashion faux pas
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:23 pm
The Simpsons Movin’ – Homer & Co. get a new house in Fettercairn
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:30 pm
John Waters is right!
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:35 pm
Mrs. Presley still shows affection for her son, even though she knows he’s gay;
Love Me Bender
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:39 pm
Nurses quietly stick tubes up patient’s arses;
Silent Enema
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:44 pm
The Jazz Minger.. Mary Coughlan. Nuff said
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:48 pm
Sinead’s life story…
The Singing Defective
January 24th, 2008 @ 9:59 pm
Have I missed The Cunt of Monte Cristo……..Thought that would’ve been up there in the first 20 comments or so
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:48 pm
The Three Days of the Condom – CIA bookworm uncovers protestant Green Party sustainability policy.
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:53 pm
Bust Like Heaven: Reese Witherspoon gets them out for the boys
January 24th, 2008 @ 10:55 pm
Well thanks Twenty, for a whole day wasted! Damn, that was good…
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:15 pm
Documentary featuring all the morons who posted comments that nobody wanted to read, telling us they didn’t want to read our comments;
Supersad
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:29 pm
Wombstone – Contemporary remake of The Wolf and Seven Little Kids.
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:31 pm
Mississipi gurning – Slack jawed yokels take a fuck load of pills.
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:34 pm
Alpens – Sigourney Weaver battles illegal Swiss immigrants.
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:38 pm
Dial Q For Murder – A story of a dyslexic assasin.
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:39 pm
…assassin (can’t spell either!)
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:41 pm
Hatman – The life and times of Pat Ingoldsby.
January 24th, 2008 @ 11:52 pm
Educational movie, explaining to thicko Americans about how to find elevators in Europe.
The Meaning Of Lift
January 25th, 2008 @ 12:17 am
The Wizard Of Of.
January 25th, 2008 @ 12:26 am
The Fast of the Mohicans – A stupid stunt by a dying breed
January 25th, 2008 @ 12:29 am
The Talented Mr Jipley – Man shows how he spurts dolphins while blowing his load
January 25th, 2008 @ 1:46 am
I showed this blog to the missus today for the very first time. I told her I’ve been a regular poster, but no matter how many times she asked, I refused to tell her what my alias was. I asked her to try to guess.
After about 40 minutes, when she had finished reading both yesterday’s and today’s comments, she looked me straight in the eyes.
In the eerie silence that followed, I thought I could hear her sucking her teeth in concentrated concentration. Her eyes narrowed, but still, that cold, icy glare remained focused on me.
At this point I began to think I’d made a mistake. “What were you thinking, Monkey?”, I heard myself say (to myself). “It’s one thing exposing yourself ‘anonomously’ to the world, but revealing your darker side to the woman you love, the mother of your children, your only co-star in all your wet dreams since 1996, that’s just fuckin’ madness.”
It felt like hours, but I’m sure that in reality it was even less than a minute. I thought my legs were about to give way. “Here it comes”, I thought, “she knows the REAL me now, -I’m fucked!”
Then I noticed a softening in her expression, as if she had suddenly been overcome with compassion, or, if the truth be told, pity.
“Please tell me it’s not fuckin’ Porridge”, she said.
January 25th, 2008 @ 1:49 am
Casa Planca – The middle pig’s tale.
January 25th, 2008 @ 1:52 am
MB – What did you tell her? Did you reveal your secret identity or did you merely say “Porridge – fuck off!”
“My sweet”
Too late.
January 25th, 2008 @ 1:54 am
12 ‘ungry men – Working title of “Alive” while in production.
January 25th, 2008 @ 1:56 am
Shako’s Hand – Speed wanking porn flick
January 25th, 2008 @ 2:00 am
The Trench Connection – Popeye Doyle takes on Kaiser Bill, the well known World War I drug baron. Gripping chase sequence through the mud of Flanders.
January 25th, 2008 @ 2:02 am
In the Nave of the Father – A choirboy’s memoirs
January 25th, 2008 @ 2:07 am
Everything’s grand now cnut, thanks.
I admit she did cry for a bit, and I’d like to think it was in relief, but the truth is it was more probably more to do with me trying for a rear-entry than anything else.
Funny thing is, she refuses to even try for a second guess. She says it doesn’t matter.
Can’t say I’m not disappointed. This is the closest to a full-time job I’ve had in fuckin’ years.
January 25th, 2008 @ 2:29 am
OK, it’s way past 9:00pm now, so here goes;
The brutal story of a woman, born trapped inside the body of a man, and how she transformed herself in the woman she is today;
The Cunting
January 25th, 2008 @ 2:32 am
He taught the animals how to play musical instruments;
Zoobander
January 25th, 2008 @ 2:36 am
Yes, I’m pissed.
No, I don’t have standards.
Flat-fish hater;
Enemy Of The Skate
January 25th, 2008 @ 2:40 am
Hello, anybody there?
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:00 am
Dear Twenty,
First of all, thank you. I have had a wonderful time here over the last couple of days. Is there any chance you could forward me the rules for tomorrow’s list in advance? My agent has deliberately double-booked me to ride two celebrities at the same time tomorrow, and I’m worried that I might end up low on juices, creative ones included.
I feel like I put in a dreadfully poor showing today, and I’d like to rectify the matter.
Thank you,
Monkey.
P.S.
Thanks for the advance copy of the book. It’s not bad, but definitely not as funny as I expected. Don’t bother with second one.
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:01 am
Brokesack Mountain – The uncut version
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:06 am
Hello H.
I was just wondering, is the H silent?
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:12 am
No, it likes to talk sometimes…
Christ it’s 3am and I feel I’ve got hundreds of these left in me, like:
28 Gays Later, A man wakes up naked in a hospital bed after being repeated raped by crazed homo zombies
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:17 am
Don’t be shy H. I won’t bite you if you don’t bite me. Unless your name is Sarah.
But I digress,
The sad tale of of a gay cowboy who ended up in hospital after his first attempt to lose his virginity;
Brokeback Mountin’
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:24 am
DeliverInce – Look, I haven’t got got enough time on my hands to know anything about football, so will someone else finish this one off for me please?
Thanks, you’re a spa, I mean sport.
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:25 am
Go to bed, for the love of Jesus!
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:28 am
Berti-go – The cry of a people for deliverance from a useless cunt.
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:31 am
Shite Noise – Michael Keaton turns on his radio to hear his dead wife but instead gets an earful of Damien Rice
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:32 am
The Mild Bunch – A gang of cowboys get together for a final time to have a nice cup of tea.
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:34 am
Young man gets drug-raped by a M.I.N.L.F.;
Kiss of the spiker woman.
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:35 am
Bollocks. Minds gone blank now.
About Schidt – Story of an old dude who does some, uh, stuff
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:41 am
Get Rich or Die Cryin’ – 50 cent turns big girls blouse after gettin the hump from his record company
January 25th, 2008 @ 3:46 am
Finding Cemo – Uninsured cancer sufferer has trouble getting treatment in Irish hospitals
January 25th, 2008 @ 4:03 am
Yeah, yeah, too many posts….
Yeah, yeah, Monkey Bollix…..
Yeah, yeah, monkeyballs.com…..
Yeah, yeah, too long…….
Yeah, yeah, repetitive….
Fuck off, you’ll be late for work!
Me, not only do I not have to get up for hours, I don’t have to get up at all. Hah! (Suckers)
Which reminds me, fucksticks- make sure you’re out of the house tomorrow between 2:00 and 4:30. Yer Ma wants me to have a look at her plumbing.
Oops! Nearly forgot:
The tragic tale of a Cockney Wanker, trying desperately to pass his wisdom onto a chirpy salted cracker, who in turn leads a miserable life, married to a cream cracker*;
Educating Ritz
*No offence intended. – Most of my friends are Knackers.
January 25th, 2008 @ 4:13 am
A bit of a self-pleasuring theme here, one for the boys:
One Hoor Photo – The tale of a man with just one picture to wank off to
And one for the girls:
Saturday Night Lever – Horny girl goes to nightclub, goes home alone, improvises.
January 25th, 2008 @ 4:19 am
H, you are porridge, and I claim my fiver!
January 25th, 2008 @ 4:26 am
Bollocks to this. I’ve got boobies to mind in the morning. I mean babies. Cunt. Good morning to ya monkey, I’ll let you break the 500…
January 25th, 2008 @ 4:35 am
Sorry H., I thought you might be a bloke there for minute, or else Porridge.
You say you have boobies? Bring them ’round my place tomorrow. There’s plenty of empty beer cans in the living-room for the kids to play with.
If you’re into breaking records, I can guarantee that you’ll set a multitude of personal bests before 2pm.
January 25th, 2008 @ 4:37 am
P.S.
I NEVER do anyone up the arse on a first date, no matter what you’ve heard.
January 25th, 2008 @ 5:48 am
Minority Deport
In the future Immigrants are caught before they can enter the country
January 25th, 2008 @ 7:41 am
When nuns go bad…
Two males for Sister Sarah
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:09 am
I tried to hold back… i did but i couldn’t…
The great drain robbery
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:35 am
500 on the way.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:37 am
John Waters didn’t say?
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:38 am
Twenty Major said?
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:39 am
I say, I say!
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:40 am
Not yet not yet.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:40 am
throat rapper – th fuck outa my way dawg
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:40 am
“500″ – see last comment.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:41 am
Later, later!
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:42 am
fuck – where did they come from????
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:42 am
Soon soon soon.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:42 am
monkey bills – would you give him his fiver and let him fuck off
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:42 am
Quick quick quick.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:43 am
Now now now.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:44 am
Ronnie and Clyde – Brokeback moutain set in the ’30s.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:44 am
Where where where.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:44 am
arse, arse, arse
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:45 am
cnut thanks for the help.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:47 am
501 maybe.
January 25th, 2008 @ 8:48 am
fuck off, fuck off, fuck off.
The number means nothing, grasshopper. It is how you achieve the number that brings the greatest satisfaction.
Or something.
500 achieved on now, now now would just be crap – yes?
January 26th, 2008 @ 3:52 pm
What silly comments did you mean fucking all of them.
September 30th, 2008 @ 12:10 am
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April 9th, 2009 @ 5:23 pm
The Prodigy – Invaders Must Die…
The album posisioned at the top of the United Kingdom Album Chart on the 1st of March with 97,254 copies sold, giving them their fourth consecutive number one disc in the UK……
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