Actors – what a bunch of self-indulgent, up their own arses cunts. I think you have to be a bit of a lunatic to want to be an actor anyway, which is probably why so many of them take the River Phoenix option.
Like yer man from that new Batman film, Heath Ledger. Then I was thinking if you changed just one letter in his name he becomes Death Ledger. Spooky, or what? Then I was thinking further what fun, relatively speaking, you could have by changing one letter of a person’s name to make another word. Or something.
Shane Hogarty – Irish Times columnist and man who likes to roll around in filth on farms
Willie O’Pea – gun toting government minister, fistcuffs seeker and little round green fuckwit
Cock the Robber – Limerick blogger who will steal from you with his big, red helmet
Daniel Gay Lewis – Actor and huge Streisand fan
Enda – haunting vocals, crayon drawn videos and perfectl elevator music from one of Donegal’s favourite sons
Wavin Friday – A shit hanger-on in pipe form
Toy Keane – a little plastic ex-Man United footballer. Batteries not included.
Oral Barry – radio presenter and fellatio expert
And that’s just Irish people. Go worldwide and it’s even better.
Uri Yeller – loudmouthed celebrity ‘psychic’.
Lenny Truce – Comic who can always find a conciliatory tone during any conflict
Jane Honda – Vietnam hating actress and easy ride
Nicole Kidmap – ex-Ginger who you can open out to find out where your children are and how to get there
Sarah Jessica Barker – Dog
You see, the possibilities are almost endless. Let’s have yours.
Just heard John Waters on newstalk saying he gets his ideas from the writings on toilet walls..well he has admitted reading toilet walls.
Pot Doherty, crack fiend cum snooker player.
Pail Collins, something toget sick on.
Twente Major
Still smoking in bars of Eastern Holland
list of dead stars in tribute to Heath. . .
Kurd Cobain – doomed voice of the downtrodden minority in the middle east
Katy Trench – daughter, sister, model, hole in the ground
Nan Curtis – Joy division head, flat bread, now dead
Rim Morrison – sixties crooner who lived life on the edge
Sad Vicious – depressed smack head
Raver Phoenix – actor with a love of cheap drugs (wait a minute!!!)
hah, excellent work.
Packie Bonker, Ex-Ireland keeper with a penchant for asian women
Gay Byrner, Road safety ‘expert’ and murderous homophobic
Gary Harney, National Health supremo’s real birth name
Baggie Thatcher – Former British Prime Minister and inventor of the handy ziploc
Saggie Thatcher – thats what giving birth to twins can do for you.
Mick Turpin – famous Irish highwayman.
Kunt Cobain – dead cunt
Bertie Ahorn – A big dick
Christy Drown – non-swimming, left-footed spacker
Lily Alien – Pop singing extraterrestrial
Glen Hangard – Ginger prick with head so big planes can shelter inside
Gaul Young – French pop singer who wants you to ‘Come back and stay’…
Farlon Brando – overweight actor made from soda bread
Fuck that. I’m just glad to see that someone else is on to Wavin. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one.
Damien Lice – flea-ridden warbling twat
Ian Bury – Dead post-punker with a penchant for excavation
Joe Puffy – Gay radio nob-end
Pat Benny – as no. 20
Twonk – former panto star turned old-school Batman sound effect
Gay Lineker – homosexual crisp salesman
Britney Shears: singing trailer trash gardening implement
Rick Fakeman: Reknowned keyboard player whose musical talent was a complete lie
Dune Rodgers – Dollyer dogging fat panto embarrassment
Donald Tramp – ex-billionaire, ruined by subprime mortgage crisis
Pat Benny: Irish TV presenter with an addiction to stimulants
Stephen Gawking – Scientist who doesnt seem to look away, the cunt
Join Waters – something Moses had God do after parting the Red Sea, pity poor ould muff face wasn’t with the Egyptians with the walls of water came crashing down, in his own mind he probably thinks he’d have walked on top of it (despite the sad fact that he couldn’t even manage the frozen stuff recently).
P.S. Stop giving him airtime folks this flute is the real world equivalent of a troll looking to whip up some attention.
I wonder how many Pat Bennys we’ll get. Don’t forget to read back folks!
Damien Muff – injury prone Newcastle and Ireland football star and lady’s bit
Dolly Farton: Country and Western singer with huge tits and a penchant for copriphilia
David Rowie – Iconic rock star and university boat race champion
Stink – former member of the police who was ejected for BO.
Jimmy Carp – Rubbish comedian who has a career waiting for him as a Japanese delicacy
Flyin’low. Leader of the Thundercats with his cock out.
I’m liking Katy Trench I gotta say.
Rodge and Podge – emmm, swapped around puppets
Niall Quim – Lanky Cunt
Dickie Cock – singer from the show gland era
Ronan Beating – what we all want to dish out to the boy band members who get a bit above themselves
Dart O’Briain – unfunny prick
Wilt Disney – Walt’s head when the cryogenic unit is off
W B Teats – poetic nipples
David Bray – Head nodding wicklow cunt
Penis Leary: faux fireman who “Rescued Me” by using his trouser hose.
Fanta Claus – Mrs Claus accidentally spills bleach on the famous red suit and it turns a bright orange colour. Coca-cola gets word about this and offers St. Nick $100million dollars to keep the suit and change his name. Cue largest advertising campaign ever…
The Dope – Vatican based Nazi dress-wearing spliff merchant.
Yep, barrel scraped. I’m done.
Quimcy Jones: Cunt
… and Gay Runaway for Faye Dunaway, obviously.
No, you can only change one letter, but that is a fine play on words.
Twenty Mayor – Dirty, bearded, public servant
George Clowney – Smarmite Oscar(tm) Winner realises his calling and fucks off with the circus, finally!
Mary Barney – fat purple dinosaur in charge of Health
Damien Mullet – godfather of the Irish internets, shame about the haircut
Damien Mullet – godfather of the Irish internets, shame about the haircut
hahaha
The Sarah Jessica one doesn’t really count, as the same description applied to her BEFORE you changed the letter. Anyway:
Robert De Biro – Method actor and ballpoint pioneer.
Donor Lenihan… exchanges money for third world organs
Colin Barrell – Actor stroke beer container.
Brain Lenihan… the smart one…
Donkey Balls – Poster of too many comments, who regularly makes an ass of himself
Bobo – Clown singer of U2
Jimmy Sage – Wise old guitarist of Led Zeppelin
Dope Benedict – Street Wise Infallible Bloke
Stephen Fly – Jive Talking Cambridge Actor
Tory Bremner – Conservative voting bloke who’s shit at impressions
Gorgon Brown – Multi-headed leader of Britain
Sinbad Gleeson – Seafaring bloggette
George Lucan – Southsider who ought to be able to afford a better haircut
George Tush – Still a cunt
I won’t have my doppleganger Nicole abused like that, if you open her at the moment you would find a kid – but that’s kind of gross
Tick Cheney: Parasitic Vice president
Jennifer Canesten: I know it doesn’t fit the rules but I hope the cream would make the irritating cunt disappear
Fierce Brosnan, the feckin’ wild man of acting and the best 007 that never was.
Roger More, ex-007 who came to prominence in the 19802 UK sex industry
Alan Hanson, when an ex-soccer player joined the “Mmm-Bopp” group
Wayne Mooney, cult member, ManU player
The Edger, ex-U2 guitarist, became a superstar in the tiling and grouting world
End Kenny, enough said
Brian Beano – ambient weekly comic for kids
Pie Cooder – Gargantuan Guitarist (from Leeds).
Boy Castle – twenty major smoking chid trumpet player (deceased).
The Hedge – minimalist WELSH guitar playing bush – now based in the clarence, Dublin
Jaysus Twenty your last two posts have been from the top drawer …
you should stay off the drink more often !!
I beg to differ Feynman. That Payback made for the most boring read here in a long time. So many comments, so little imagination.
This one is a different story altogether.
Ian Parsley – Ex Magic-Roundabouter turned small-dick politician
L L Cool T – Who used all the milk?
Bonnie Tiler – singing tradeswoman
Tenty major – Camping Blog from Malahide or Lucan
Hugh Grunt – Foppish English curb crawling mute
Huge Grant – Foppish English freeloader
Fan Brown – popular author causing shit with the Vatican
Arsene Winger – versatile manager/midfielder
What is Avril Whore doing these days?
Barry Shite – singer of “Never gonna give poo up”
Matt Demon: devilishly shite actor
Vinny Tones – Former Wimbledon star brings musical fun to your mobile.
Jennifer Ariston. Did her dirty washing in public.
Simon le Bod – Duran Duran singer turned iconic 70s BBC kids show.
Dane – Tiny wee Eurovision winners becomes Scandinavian.
Bean Moncrieff – watch out for this radio presenter, he’ll do a runner.
Cesc Faberge
Priceless egg shaped midfielder
Nadine Boyle – dirty bitch, but a pain in the arse
Johnny Piles – dirty bastard, but a pain in the arse
Uni Geller- the one and only (thank God).
Cassius Clap- Flies like a butterfly, stings like fuck.
Mohatama Ghansi- in case it’s cold outside.
Your Royal Highness The Queer- Pain in the arse.
Bernie Ahern- Lady version of our dear leader.
How many points do I get for these?
Rufa Benitez
Bearded Grass smoking football manager
And have you heard the real reason for his rotation policy each game…
To keep the burglars of Scouse land guessing of course!!
Puff Caddy, homosexual rapper cum Golfers assistant cum tea recepticle
Wayne Mooney – fat scouse cunt joins weird religious sect
Jeff Rapes – Britains strongest man turned sexual predator.
someone already beat you to that one…
haha
Alan Tells – Olympic sprint champion becomes supergrass
twenty and the mooney one, not the Jeff Rapes. (hehe)
someone already beat you to that one…
So they did, not sure how I missed it. Sorry Uncle Junior
Bill Gapes – Massive Arsehole
Lawn French – Fat bitch who’s only good for lying on when not wet
Rob the builder – Child tv star steals cinderblocks
Gimli son of Groin – Dwarf with a cock for a father
Barry Manifold – Crooning Exhaust retailer – Copacabana
Steve Jots – Apple supremo can’t help making notes..
Barry Manifold
No, 1 letter only.
Noddy Doyle – Toytown’s favourite author
Fig Ears – Noddy’s fruit eared mate.
Rosco – poxy little puppet gets job as sheriff of Hazard County
Fortygoats – smelly old bastard wears a load of dead animals to keep warm
Jimmy While. Took AGES to take his feckin shot.
I have some form of OCD or something whereby whenever I hear someone’s name being Orla or Alan I immediately think Oral and Anal and say it over and over in my head.
Belly Osbourne – Ozzy’s rotund offspring
Courtney Pox – a friend you kept at arms length
Tom Wanks – star of Forest Pump and Crotch Me if You Can
Salmon Rushdie – controversial author eaten by Iranian bear while swimming upstream
Heath Lodger – Acclaimed Australian-American actor who blew all his money on sleeping pills and had to bunk up with his mate Mary-Kate. Allegedly.
What, … too soon?
Patrick Muffy – Flange faced younger brother of JR
Hoe Duffy – Tool presents radio show
Sean Bran – Regular Actor
Hat Jennings – wear this Norn Irish keeper on your head!
GAA special
Mick O’Dryer – legenrdary ,anager responsible for the first ever “hand-drier” team talk at half time
Peter Caravan – took Tyrone to their first All-Ireland, and then a nice tour of Connemara
Pat Stillane – Kerry legend and pre-op transexual
Patdick Stewart – Bald starship captain with cock touching tendencies
Rap Torn – Men In Black chief takes over ‘musical’ duties from Will Smith
Wilt Ferrell – James Joyce Award winning comedy actor has problems in the bedroom
Ach, I’m not on form today
Party Morrissey – Ugly fun
Tiger Hoods – Dry headed Golf sensation
Tracy Crapman- she’s got a fast car you know.
Cindy Pauper- Wanted to have fun but, alas, couldn’t afford it.
Fat Benetar- food is a battle field.
Oh dear. I know, I know. I’ll go now.
Damien Vice: Crap singer with penchant for drugs and prostitutes.
pillage people – disco attack
dum and mad – what your parents are
peter crotch – lanky ball player
dirk kunt – lazy dutch flanger/flanker
Twenty…you only wanted to have two days in a row with 100+ comments didn’t you…
This is how what I imagine crack or heroin is like – i just can’t stop. Anyway . . .
Sir Flex Ferguson – body building scottish curmudgeon
Sandra Bollock – an actress i would love to have near my groin
Join F Kennedy – not a person, just a wish i have for George W (a little bit of politics)
Dessie O’Dare – Easily led border ox
Gary Flitter – Nuff said.
Fuck Rodgers – Sexually active panto star.
John Cheese – Overrated Minty python man.
Harlotte Church – Deviant welsh chanteuse
Boy Rodgers – Gary Flitter in a cowboy suit.
Gerry Sadams – That’s how rumours start.
Edwin van der Car – football’s most mobile goalkeeper
Robin van Persil – he’ll get your whites whiter than white
Morgan Fleeman – Gentle-voiced actor who doesnt hang around
james bone – 007′s real name
pariah carey – outcast singer
dr. poolittle – constipated dogooder
Britney Shears – A gardening tool who is nearly as bad a mother as Kerry Katona.
Bruce Gee – Martial Arts expert with a fanny for a head.
Jennifer Launders – Well shes gotta be good for something
Bob Harley – Fuck Jah, he just wants to ride
Montgomery Cleft – Star of “Frim Hare te Etchurnity”
Colon Montgomerie – Asshole
Clit Eastwood – Transexual with no name
Josh Titter – Crap singer who can’t stop giggling like a girl
Puke Toss – Felching Bros drummer
Johnny Chunders – Dead junkie rocker with penchant for vomiting
Gerry Myan – overweight indigenous south American radio presenter with inflated lips
Fred Best – mass-murdering original Beatles drummer
Raft Benitez. Shitcreek central. No paddle
Amex James: Credit Card wielding bassist of blur
Gav Byrne. Never presented nuttin. Normaller.
Paris Milton – Airhead heiress idiot-savant writer of Paradise Lost
Firstly, you have no idea how close to the bone that is.
Second, Bingo Starr – which is what he’d be doing now if he’d not been in the Beatles.
Sarah Michelle Kellar – Deaf, dumb & blind vampire slayer
Saul McCartney – Jewish Beatle
Joke Mourinho – I’m bored now
Runnie O’Sullivan – snooker player who always has difficulty with the brown
Fatti Smith – punk poet overwight because of too many “courses, courses, courses”
Kate Winslut – dirty bitch.
Bonan’ Keating – sleazy tell-all biography by former gay lover of erstwhile boy-band star
Mariah Casey – nine-octaved, platinum selling disgraced former bishop of Galway
Gee Harvey Oswald- Vaginal Assassin of John F. Kennedy.
David Gee Roth- Van Halen Cuntbag.
Is this going to go on all day?
Just wonderin’ like.
God Stewart – “I am saaaaving… I am saaaaaving”
Probably.
Rake Gyllenhall – this actor will help you clean up the leaves of tears you shed over co-chum Heath Ledger.
Lindsay Loham – orange pig
Brian Gay – Queen guitarist.
Spire Milligan – famous comic now adorns the middle of O’Connell Street.
Granny Lee. Tough tackling old woman
Frank Larson. Stole all his jokes.
Barney Jock – Scottish GAA player
PES Dawson – Pro evolution comedian
Jimmy Care – comedian who works part-time at the STD clinic
Chil Lynott. Ice swear thats the last one.
Ronald Duck – Disney character now sells you fast food hamburgers
Roanld Duck – donalds lesser known younger brother
creeepy
Jesus, that’s some fucked up shit right there.
Harrison Fork – Raider of the Lost Cake
Brad Kitt – Hunky sports car
Mesus Christ. Jesus’s more selfish brother.
Jarvis Cacker: Poo Panted Northern Songster
Jervis Cocker – Singer with a penchant for shopping centre sex
Dole Winton. Things havent been goin well on daytime.
Stephen Dry. Finally realised alcohol is depressant.
Mesus Christ – heh.
Homer Sampson – without his hair (singular) he’s as weak as a kitten.
Michael Snipe: Mean Spirited lead singer of REM
Martin Luther Ring; Civil Rights Leader paving the way for arse freedom in the US
Spurticus – leader of the sex slaves in their fight against their roman masters
Terence Huggins – the only human contact most get when infected with AIDS.
Thats my last.
Keith Woody
Bald headed hooker in Toy Story 1 and 2
Fartin Mc Guinness – Provo who leaves bad odours in your pint.
one more
Buzz Light-tear – small battery operated toy that induces slight post-orgasmic emotionary response when used as dildo (and with that extremely tenuous one i say thank you and good night)
Jimmie Seville; Elderly wish giving orange, who does marathons for spine charities
Wobbie Keane – Overrated soccer player with a speech impediment
Any Winehouse – singer and lush. Wait…
Tomy Bennet – Crooner with arrows directing you to his groin.
Jermy Paxman – syphilitic talking head.
Neddie O Sullivan – Donkey who coaches Irish rugby team
Aint Patrick – Irish religious icon with identity crisis.
Doe O’Reilly – wife killing female deer
Arolf Hitler – Ties his kangajews down, sport
Inda Kinny- That’s just what his friends call him down home.
Joe Nolan- Oh me, oh my you make me die.
Gordon- Katie Price’s less famous brother.
Samantha Pox- Thanks for the mammaries but no thanks all the same.
Shaton Ni Bheolán- Uachta romhaite aon duinne? Níl go raibh maith agat.
Slán agus oiche maith.
Brian Robson – Newsreader and former Man united midfielder
Heather Milks-McCartney – No need to explain that!
Did you hear she wants his plane as part of settlement – so that she can shave both legs!!!
Bob Homless. No Gold Run
Bendy Hill – Flexible non-PC comedian
Greed – Stingy Scritti Politti bloke
Bob Marley & The Waiters – Reggae restauranteers
Cilla Blank – Airhead ‘Blind Date’ host
Robert Rimmerman – Gravel-voiced public toilet dweller
Prince Busker – “Don’t call me scab-face!”
Slane MacGowan… Outdoor singer
Mars Almond – failed chocolate bar despite flexibility.. totally bummed in the market
James Gandalfini – You shall not motherfucking pass!!
Jerry Seinfield – unknown comedian recently “interviewed” by Prat Kenny.
Would that be PMT Kenny?
Mickey Louse, Walt Disney’s animated cock infester
Scoop Doggy Dogg, cleans up his own shit
Arnold Schwarzennaker, Austro-American Pikey Politician
PMT Kenny? – No, Phat Kenny – aspiring Irish rap artiste.
or it could have been Part Kenny – Just his arse.
Ian Crown – Prince of 90′s music.
Damien Dumpsey – Luke Kelly wannabe that makes rubbish music.
Bib Dylan – 60′s singer and dribbler.
Nail Young – 60′s singer and paedophile.
Eric Crapton – Another rubbish singer.
Sorry cnut, but last time I looked there were 3 letters in the name Pat. You chunt!
Schtickk too thee rhules, okk?
The missus has just told me that I should apologise to cnut, and that I’m in no position to criticise others when I myself made a grave error in comment #182.
It turns out that Cilla Black is actually a woman, and I mistakenly called her a host. She is of course a “Hostess”.
I’ll be getting me arse slapped tonight, with any luck.
Donkey Balls-regular commenter on Twenty Major’s blog-likes donkeys-a lot.
As far as I can remember Sarah, you’re one of those fat fuckers who don’t take sugar in their tea, aren’t you?
Sorry Sarah. I’m sure you’re lovely.
Anyways, I like big girls, and if I’m ever drunk enough you’ll be first on me list.
Oh, and I did the Donkey Balls one meself way back at #55.
Go on, have #200. It’s on me.
There is no fat in sugar so avoiding it would be like trying to find a straight line in a circle Monkey Balls.
Thanks for the 200 spot though.
Yeah, but I don’t know anyone who takes no sugar who doesn’t have issues with their weight.
I posted a comment under another name yesterday saying exactly the same thing.
You and me have sooo much in common, so how about it?
(Are you sure you’re not “big”?)
No, no and no, Monkey Balls.
Starter for 300…
Bertie Ahorn – fucking us all these years…!
What, you’re not sure you’re not “big”?
There’s a very simple test. Strip off, look at your toes, and if you catch a glimpse of some hair on the way down, you’re in with a chance.
Normal service resumed…..
Brain Bowling – A new task for the Big Brother housemates
farah – slack wearing (donkey) ball basher
pat baloney – spam based bagpipe squeezer
penis the menace – enough said
Ronald and Frank de Beer – Dutch lager loving footy stars
C’mon people, this one still has plenty of steam in it. We’ll easily make it to 300 if you put a bit of effort in.
Me, I’m saving me best ones for later.
This is not one of them;
Mavis Beacor – Plastic drinking utensil that teaches typing
Liam Blady. Clean cut footballer.
Alas, Ball – Single-testicled 70s Everton player with an excruciatingly high-pitched voice.
mankey balls – commenter with scrofulous scrotum
fuck all this. what about the results of yesterday’s poll?
Jesus Christy – seated at the left foot of the father.
Pa’ridge – Smart cunt on the verge of getting a roasting
Hairy Potter: Hirsute wizard
jan dolby – stereophonic dane
wonkey balls – commenter with testicles in a twist
George W Bust – 38DD US President
Russell Crowd – Australian actor that can fill a room
Taley Thompson – Decathlete with lots of stories
tony s – two sugars was the winner of yesterday’s poll. just post your E-mail address to claim your prize.
Anne Prank – still hiding in that attic, the joker that she is
sockey balboa – punch drunk retard boxer turned punch drunk retard tv puppet
Diana Moss – Green Motown star
Michael Yackson – Always talking about kids he is
Smokey BobbinSon – (Yeah, I know!) Immaculately-concepted soul singer
Dali Lamp – providing religous enlightenment
Heve Ballesteros. The fat cunt.
Stevie Ponder – Why am I so blind?
Axl Ruse.
John Wee Hooker – rugby playing, blues midget
Fade Goody – soon to be obscure reality TV minger
Steven Tiler. Grout this way
brute willis – tough guy actor
richard prior – convicted comedian
Stevie Wander – “where the fuck am I?”
Chairmad Mao – Furniture drove him to it
Bingo Starr. all the ones. Your mates are dead
Taley Thompson – Decathlete with lots of stories
heheheh
Fatima Shitbread – Olympic athlete, poor baker.
Eric Cuntona – French cunt
Porridge, I have to stop you there.
Did you even read the rules, or have you just temporarily forgotten them? Richard Prior is actually Richard Prior’s name, and he is a comedian, and he has been inside. And Bruce Willis is a tough guy actor.
Most pathetic comment ever, bar Alfie and Proud Englishman.
Must try harder!
Hate Moss – Model is a big of the rolling stones.
johnny5 – No fans
fair enough, willis one was lame but richard pryor’s name is richard prYor.
with a y
Yeah missed a word.
Mea culpa, but when I googled ‘prior’, it worked. Still, you gave him attributes he already had in real life, so it’s still pathetic.
Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?
porridge is mildly retarded.
not going to even mention smokey bobbinson
only mildly? i’m disappointed
Mean Koontz-bestselling horror writer turned Twenty Major fanatic.
Phil Counter- Failed Musician who turned accountant who had hits with numbers
Bill Clingon – President of US Toilet Paper Manufacturers
Rocky Gervais – World Heavyweight Comedy Champion
Toe Cruise & Katoe Holmes – Failed Actors who now run a chiropidisys practice
Phil Counter- Failed Musician who turned accountant who had hits with numbers
Bill Clingon – President of US Toilet Paper Manufacturers
Rocky Gervais – World Heavyweight Comedy Champion
Toe Cruise & Katoe Holmes – Failed Actors who now run a chiropidists practice
Sorry for the double entry,tried to correct a spelling mistake,but my plan didn’t work!!
O.K. Porridge! But can you ever hope to do better than my “Prince Busker – Don’t call me scab-face” -Two for the price of one there! So I reckon I’m allowed one dodgy one.
Berry Pratchett-OBE author soon to be RIP author.
Adam Ent – Dandy 80s pop star turned enormous middle earth dwelling talking tree
Gerry Edams. Has that cheesy smile.
Neil Fine – lead singer of Crowded House dishes out punitive payments
Groan, groan, groan.
It’s getting late, and I fear most of you are way past your bedtime.
Me, I can stay up all night. (Wink, wink. Are you listening Sarah?)
let you away with it this time. keep up the exemplary work. all beer is finished, so going to lie down before fall over
I could write a book about Barry Lang.
Its ok I wont.
Chef- if she could turn back time she’d be a cook.
Bone- short arsed sunglass wearing ossified Irish singer.
Tiny Turner – Small lady, massive arse
Stink-ripe yoga doing tow -sucker.
Trad Pitt – hunky actor also plays tin whistle
Vladimir Smiter. Looks after stuff when gods on holliers
Oink- Pig loving Eddie Izzard looking songstress.
Oink, haha
Joan Jest. I love rock n roll.. and juggling.
Johnny Rash-dead singer meets Katy French in heaven.
Bill Hates – Software baron and pessimist.
20 and FMC, in a tree……..
Shabby Ranks – Smelly reggae
Gary Coldman – Diff’rent strokes for this hard hearted little negro
Elvis Cosjello – Speccy twat likes US named desserts
And Buju Bankon – Surefire hit in Jamaica
Steve Early – guitar players always arrives before the scheduled time
Pudolf Nureyev
shit dancer
Tony Warn – former Irish out-half threatens as he kicks for touch
Phil Ore – this prop will mine for iron
Tony Panza – half man half tank
Beg – Happy Monday’s dancer fallen on hard times
Jack the Kipper-serial killer low in fish oils.
haha
Danny de Vino – short arsed cunt who can piss a 1958 Chateau Lafite
Joey Beacon – a sailors favorite flid
Mona Pisa-try straighten that painting.
Midge Are. Plural
Johnny Hogan-former Eurovision winner endorses wrestling.
Anders Gimpar – PVC, orange in mouth wearing former Arsenal and Sweden star
Doris Karloff. Not half as frightening
Randy Lyle – Insatiable Scots golfer
Yes we all want to get to 300, but there are standards we have to keep to at the same time.
Fuck it, it’s late;
Porny The Pig – Ron Jeremy
Ringo Spar – Where all drummers end up eventually
Zoe Bald. NO WAY. Not with yours
Catherine Beta Jones – Looks good but can’t be relied upon in a production environment
Joinny Ball – Zoe’s gay dad
Ian Cuntley – Misunderstood youth worker
Colin Cowell-politician goes looking for the X-Factor.
Paul Michal Glazer. Paneful to watch the demise
Pa-Arabbitte-former Labour party leader turned terrorist in talks with Dr Albulladulla over the possibility of an Easter suicide egg.
Josef Geller. Ross and Monicas war-torn brother.
I WIN…. GOOODNIGHT
See how that inconsiderate Ibanez stole your 300 spot with his shitty comment Sarah? I would never have done that. I would’ve let your shitty comment be number 300.
At least now you know who your friends are.
Anyway;
David Soup – Starsky and overcooked vegetables
Are we going for the big 4-0-0?
Personally, I don’t think you lightweights can handle it, and I wouldn’t feel right doing it by myself.
Kirsten Cunst – Dyslexic Gynecologist
Does anyone get a prize for the best one?
Barack Osama-Democratic nominee appeals to the Muslim community to vote.
If you win Ian, Twenty will send you out some emeregncy handbook in the post. For free.
Anyway I am out of here.
Goodnight.
Congratulations Ian!
You are our winner.
The way you subtley changed that K for a similar-sounding C, and then changed the C for a similar-sounding K, or whatever the fuck you did, was pure genius. The judges are still laughing.
Please post your E-mail address to receive your prize.
Sorry
Monkey Balls ; Is everyone gone to bed, ed, ed?
Monkey Balls (Adjudicator); I dunno, no, no.
Monkey Balls ; Can you hear an echo in here, ere, ere?
Thank you very much Twenty. That was pure class.
Ah this is brilliant! It’s getting late but I’m sure there’ll be loads more tomorrow.
Fair Play to ya Twenty….great post!
Monkey…glad you enjoyed the C & K swap , when all I thought I changed was a D!!
P.S.
I broke me hole so many times today that I have to go Tallaght Hospital now. See you next Tuesday.
Sorry Ian, I am an ignorant bollix when it comes to foreign names. Who the fuck is Dirsten Cunst anyway?
And where do you want us to send your super prize to?
Kirsten Dunst is the one who’s riding Spiderman.
I’ll wait till this is all over before claiming any prize.
Here’s another one.
Sebastian Cod – Fastest Fish in the Ocean
Actually Ian, the official closing date is 30th September 2008, but I can’t envisage anyone bettering your sterling efforts before then. The prize is as good as yours at this stage.
That is, so long as you yourself, or any member of your family has never smoked 20 Major, in or out of a Dublin bar, or logged onto http://www.twentymajor.net
You should’ve saved Sebastian Cod for the play-off, just in case, but I’m sure you have more.
Save them, it’s a school day tomorrow, don’t forget, and you have to be up early.
Monkey Balls – you cunt, did you disqualify Phat Kenny? I enjoyed that one (yo – word to your mummy!) Jesus Christy has an extra letter too, you monocular simian genital!
Monkey Bails – Well known blogger who fucks off!
Monkey Bawls – after half a bottle of gin! (I fuckin’ love yew!)
Ibanez – Doris Karloff – beautiful.
Pay Byrne.. RTE boss up ’till the early nineties. still lurking around Montrose.
Lissen here ta me cnut…you’re me best mate, so y’are. You an’ me go back fuckin’ aaages, so we do. I wooden eva’ call you a cnut, even tho’ that’s exactly what y’are. Nevah!! -no bleedin’ way!!
C’mere!!
Lemme giv ya a big kiss. I lu-r-r-r-ve ya, ya big mad bollix.
Bleee-uurrrghhhhhh!!!!
Carry Gogan.. He’s pissed again
Steve Fartin… Smelly Hollywood actor
John waster .. Blog hater. Do anagrams cunt? Whoops, count
twendy major, thinks he is so cool hanging out with johnaton ross…..
We, the self-appointed invigolaters, adjudicators and judges (in short skirts) of this non-existant competition hereby bestow the honour of winner on Monkey Balls. He is by far the best-looking entrant. If the rest of you had cocks half the size of his, you wouldn’t be huddled in a dark room posting ridiculous comments on a stupid blog like this one, but out there riding coke-addled celebrities.
He will be receiving his prize of a PDF version of The Order Of The Phoenix Park within the next 28 days. Our commiserations to all you losers, but don’t be disheartened. Install the BitTorrent client NOW, and you’ll be able to download the full book from http://www.mininova.org as soon as Monkey gets his hands on it, hopefully before it hits the shops.
So we’re all winners really, even Ian.
Grateful Dread: An old hippy rock band playing reggae
No, no, no Mad Dog. You don’t ADD a letter, you change ONE letter, as in Bad Dog.
A blatent appeal to Twenty’s Bowie fixation;
David Bogie – Snotty-nosed Londoner who made his name by stealing other people’s ideas and calling them his own
Is that a gun in your pocket Twenty?
Ronnie Jiggs – Irish-dancing train robber
Steve Albino – Pink-eyed recording producer
Cheap Prick – Surrendering rock/pop tarts cum low-price rent boys
Looks like you’re all gone to bed, so here’s me last lot;
The Bent – Stand down Margaret, before I reef every hair outta yer bleedin’ head
The Polite – Mannerly cod-reggae inna tantric sex stylee
Frankie Gobs To Hollywood – Long-distance spitting champions
The Jap – That’s asian entertainment
Cindi Lamper – Head-butter just wants to have fun
Last, but not least, my own personal favourite;
Sham! – George Michael pretends he wasn’t knocking the arse off Andrew Ridgley
Over & out
George Bent – Late lamented lover of Mr World
Gareth Cunt – Something fishy in his coffee
Rusk Conway – Tinkling in your kiddies bowl
Ursula Undress – I can barely wait
Wank Marvin – Nearly went blind in the Shadows
Clit Eastwood – No man could ever find him
Billie Kiper -Former child bribe of chris Evens with cavalear attitude to personal hygine.
Kind Kong – the nicer of the monkey brothers
Thank you all for a most splendid day of comments. Top class.
Apu Hamza – Dissident terrorist convenience store proprietor
Jesus, it’s still goin? This is a very addictive little game you’ve come up with twenty, How’s about picking a top ten? Anyway here’s a few more I came up with (in my sleep):
Joe Scrummer, Rugby lovin leader of the Clash
Optimus Price, Leader of the Autobots turns Tesco retailer
Benny Rogers, Muff-faced homo that knows when to ‘hold em’
And (lastly),
Darth Brooks – the Evil intergalactic country and western overlord
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Phil Spectra. From the Recording Studio to the Dark Room
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Who died and put Monkey Bollox in charge
#338 – Such wit! Twenty “Carrolls” That’s a good one, even if it does break the rules- Ha, Ha, Ha…
Stop, you’re killing me!!
I have to sit down for a few minutes, there’s Guinness still dripping from me nose.
Hold on there, I just read the rest of your post. “Monkey Bollox” – Pure class!!
Breaking the rules again there, but how could you not be forgiven? Total fuckin’ genius!!
I might as well pack it in right now.
Bono was way ahead of ya Twenty, thats where Gavins name comes from.
Emm, hmm, no, got nuthin.
Tweety Major – Cartoon blogger being chased by a cat.
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Genius.
Can I offer Rick O’Shed? Cheesy national radio DJ turned amateur gardener?
Dick O’Shea – turned porn star
Hick O’Shea – moves to Leitrim
We are SO going to play this on the radio today…
Rink O’Shea – stands in Smithfield at christmas time.
Ruck O’Shea – likes sticking his head up mens arses (on the field of play of course)
Tweety Major – hahaha
Rock O’Shea – Moves to a late-night heavy metal slot.
Rack O’Shea – Male 2FM afternoon DJ with impressive breasts.
Better one for “Rick O’Shed”..? – RTÉ employee who’s still less wooden than Pat Kenny.
Rick O’Shep – humps the leg of John Noakes off Blue Peter.
Rich O’Shea – works for RTÉ, earns lots of dosh. Waitasec…
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Will settle for Rich O’Shea lads :-)
With Twenty’s gracious permission put this out to the radio audience today. Way too much to put in comments here but some of them are very clever feckers…
http://rickoshea.wordpress.com/2008/01/25/the-day-twenty-saved-the-show/
340 comments?!!? Sweet Mesus!
Bat Power (singer who emits high-pitched sounds), Naomi Campball (geddit?) and Hugo Shávez (as in razor sharp. Not!)
Twinty Major – Controversial Irish blogger discovers he and his doppleganger were seperated at birth. But which is the evil one?
Larry Wogan – Ancient Irish DJ at home and ancient Irish DJ who defected merge into the ultimate disc spinning and bantering machine.
Bingo Starr – Beatles drummer fondles his balls and yells numbers at a bunch of geriatrics.
Bonovan – Scottish folk rocker dons wraparound shades and spouts shite about helping the poor.
Mischa Farton – Flatulent O.C. actress.
George Clowney – Batman actor joins Fossetts.
Japes Gandolfini – Soprano star gets up to merriment, tomfoolery and merry frolics, by jove.
Oh, enough from me for now…
Shayne Lard – X Factor crooner’s secret lipo shame.
Martin ‘The Wiper’ Foley – Gangland boss survives hit and launches new career as window cleaner.
Twenty Pajor – blogger suffers from writer’s block.
Jerome Perviel – rogue trader admits porn addiction.
Joe Cola – The premiership’s only teetotal footballer.
Steve Crap – not very fast runner.
Nigella Dawson – Les’s culinary lovechild.
I know I’m late, but I’m just warming up…
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