What larks

Do you remember the early days of the internet when you could sign up anybody to any kind of mailing list without them having to even confirm? Yes, but those days are long gone.

So if somebody tries to sign you up to an ebook site for women comedians or any kind of obscure, specialist dating site – and uses your email address – you get an email asking you to confirm that you wish to receive such missives. Thankfully the person who went to such trouble to sign me up to many lists last night must know me very well and I have a great interest in all of them. Thank you, kind stranger, you have saved me the time and effort of trawling the very bowels of the internet for first class reading materials.

It really did used to be a lawless jungle out there, didn’t it? I remember the days when you could go to one particular anonymous email site and send an untraceable email to somebody from somebody else’s email address. Oh the high jinks you could have in an office with that. What fun it was to see somebody’s face make that ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe my boss has just sent me that in an email’ face and then watching them debate with themselves whether they should tell anyone.

But, of course, they do tell somebody and eventually the boss finds out, throws a wobbly and then whole IT department is frantically trying to track down the originating IP address via the email headers but it’s just impossible and you sit there looking on with that ‘Heh, perhaps this has gone a little further than I expected but fuck it, it’s a good laugh nonetheless’.

I’m sure there are still sites like that out there but I assume detection techniques have improved. Plus there are only so many people you can get fired/make take time off work through stress related disorders and such.

So, it being Friday and me being a lazy cunt, what’s your favourite internet jape?

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37 Responses to “What larks”

  • neil c Says:

    john waters says there is nothing but porn on the net, so i sign up and all i can find is pictures of 2 girls sharing an ice cream cup.

  • John Water Says:

    The Internet is Stupid!

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    Not Internet, but after being called a “Paki” by a South African equities trader an Indian employee of mine when he resigned hacked into the wankers Start Menu so it read “South African Bastard” . The shit did hit the fan but I laughed for weeks about this.

  • Keith Says:

    Faking “from” addresses on email is still manically simple. Twenty shouldn’t be giving me ideas…

  • size ten Says:

    All South Africans are bastards, black ones white ones brown ones yellow ones and them shit coloured ones.

  • Kev Says:

    sending fake affectionate emails to two tentative lovers who (we figured) just needed that final push to allow their love take wing…. yeah right… it was just for our grubby amusement and destroyed any chance of such a relationship. ah happy factory-working days…

  • samantha maguire Says:

    Just love to mess with the diamond mines/lottery/help-us-to-access-the-dead-king’s bank account scammers by answering them from “my” e-mail address indicating my sympathy and support. The torment possibilities are endless. And after I give them my fake bank account details, the nasty e-mails that follow are fabulously entertaining. Sometimes I include “my” picture on my correspondence. Men from certain African countries seem to especially like Cecilia Ahern. When they turn nasty, they sometimes threaten to visit me in person – oops…..

  • Anto Says:

    Samantha

    Wicked but brilliant…

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    I have heard tell that many African men prefer a woman with a bit of meat on them, I would suggest replacing Cecilia with Mary Harney and then stand back and watch the results.

  • stanley pencil Says:

    hahaha! this is great, read it..

    http://www.419eater.com/html/okorie.htm

  • Ching Chong Says:

    Nih Hoh and many happy joy greeting of PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA to THE TWENTY MAJORS.
    Of course whole family is falling on floor in laughing at you. It is great amusement you are bring for us each of the days. Many, many.
    FOR EXAMPLES, the naughty boys of Don’s bar. They are CRAZY, CRAZY. Man O Man, that place has much gayness.
    Big sister #3 is for giving Lucky Boy Luke the massive blow-up job. (Fuck the big fucking ¦Do not do it!! You can breaking my heart with it) HA HA HA!!!!
    Blind Grand-mother (93 in ages), she must cleaning your Dirty Mickey. Is too hard already, no?
    We be open arms and to wait for golden book. That must be gay also. When are you coming out?
    Please not be making funny of the bad engrish. Is not to be joking for.

    Ching CHONG.

  • Johnny5 Says:

    This is really bad but fuck it I’m going to tell it anyway.

    In college repeating exams one summer myself and a mate went into the computer room to fuck about on the net for a while. At this time there was a Deaf basketball team from the UK staying on campass for some reason. I sat down at a PC and one of the deaf folk had left her hotmail account logged in. She had mails from one of her coaches who had apparently not made the trip. We decided to have a little fun…

    Here’s how the correspondence unfolded

    I am so sick of this whole Deaf thing.

    His reply:

    It’s ok, I know it’s not easy at the moment with some people not giving full commitment but once everyone starts going training again I’m sure we’ll get back to winning ways.

    Our response:

    No, you misunderstand. I am fucking sick to death of being deaf. I cant hear a fucking thing and I dont know what I sound like when I talk. I probably sound like a total retard, it’s fucking shit being deaf.

    We had to leg it then as she had come back.

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    Johnny 5 you cunt I have just snorted tea over my fucking keyboard, you can come and clean it up.

  • Johnny5 Says:

    It’s so bad yet at the same time so very very good.

  • MMN Says:

    I like it Johnny 5.

    Now, a little off topic, but if you like the lads from peep show this link is worth a look. Helps if you having a passing interest in snooker too.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us_olN6OZUY

    Anyone else of booze for January. It sucks mighty balls, so it does.

  • Johnny5 Says:

    I don;t understand why people go off the booze for January.

  • Anthony Says:

    Because people have commitment problems.
    Twenty: I thought you might like those email rings. I also sent emails faking your address to various nice Nigerian men who seem to have more money then sense. (Oh, and expect a large bill for Viagra that I ordered… eh.. for a friend… *cough*)

  • Monkey Balls Says:

    A few years back, a friend of the Missus rang me from England, telling me about the fantastic opportunity that awaited me, if I followed what she had done. She had “bought” some words, common ones like “the” and “please”. From now on, she explained, anytime anyone used these words on the Internet, she was going to receive a payment, roughly about 1p per time.
    She was well on her way to becoming a millionairess.
    Haven’t heard from her since.

  • MMN Says:

    I quit booze for the month because I’m so fond of it. I was drinking nearly every day, not pints now, but you know yourself, bottle of beer, glass of wine, something like that and prior to this month, I cannot remember a single week or longer period where I haven’t had a drink since I got my appendix out when I was 20.

    I fucking love pints of guinness. And that scares me a little, so I thought I’d reassert the illusion of control until feburary, when I’ll fall off my stool after four pints.

    Does make for quiet week ends, mind.

  • Silly Old Sod Says:

    Why do spambots continue to send vast quantities of meat substitute to the same address when it is clear that said address has a perfectly functioning spam filter that hides the fatty stuff from view until the owner of the said site removes all of the crap with the click of one button? (After reading all of the really disgusting stuff, obviously!)

  • Annie Rhiannon Says:

    Where’s that phone call you made to the church of Scientology? It needs reposting, being topical and all.

  • Johnny5 Says:

    Fuck that MMN, just go out and get locked.

  • Paul McClean Says:

    Guy I know faked an email from ticketmaster to my mate saying that his application for 2 Led Zeppelin tickets in London was successful.

  • Twenty Major Says:

    heh @ the powerbook scam. Lovely.

    Annie – it’s on the right hand side under podcasts, I think.

  • ben Says:

    i dont know what jape is

    …i also dont know what a tracker mortgage is …

    Does this make me less of a person?

  • Molson 12 pack Says:

    The whole Idea or Rickrolling http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rickrolling is just wrong

  • Johnny5 Says:

    I obviously won this thing. Twenty, give me a prize you beardy bastard

  • Twenty Major Says:

    I’ll give you some more AIDS.

  • Skanger Says:

    Hey Molsen,
    this one’s for you;

    http://tinyurl.com/2lrx46

  • Johnny5 Says:

    Give me more AIDS with your cock, you sexy cunt.

  • Peadar Says:

    ‘I don;t understand why people go off the booze for January.’

    I don’t understand why people go off booze fullstop.
    I give it up must weeks from tuesday till friday and thats long enough.
    But a whole fucking month! Why?

  • porridge Says:

    think it’s something to do with the lack of money after having your bank account cleaned out by satan claus and his little helpers. january sucks

    not an internet jape, but putting every program on the computer in the startup folder always good for a laugh. sespecially if the pigshit company in question uses standard server based profiles

  • tony s Says:

    standard server based profiles.
    thats cunt speak

  • ELCC Says:

    Spitting Image had a song that was something along the lines of “I’ve never met a nice South African”… it was the b side of “hold a chicken in the air” song I think. Anyway, that doesn’t answer your question, but gets the memory off my chest. I hope.

  • ELCC Says:

    It looks like someone using my initials posted a comment at 2.13 am. It’s the only explanation.

  • JC Skinner Says:

    My fave net jape? Why, buying Russian brides online for David Norris, of course.
    He’s had to move out of North Great Georges Street at this stage, as the whole female population of Sverdlovsk is now living in his gaff.

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