What larks
Do you remember the early days of the internet when you could sign up anybody to any kind of mailing list without them having to even confirm? Yes, but those days are long gone.
So if somebody tries to sign you up to an ebook site for women comedians or any kind of obscure, specialist dating site – and uses your email address – you get an email asking you to confirm that you wish to receive such missives. Thankfully the person who went to such trouble to sign me up to many lists last night must know me very well and I have a great interest in all of them. Thank you, kind stranger, you have saved me the time and effort of trawling the very bowels of the internet for first class reading materials.
It really did used to be a lawless jungle out there, didn’t it? I remember the days when you could go to one particular anonymous email site and send an untraceable email to somebody from somebody else’s email address. Oh the high jinks you could have in an office with that. What fun it was to see somebody’s face make that ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe my boss has just sent me that in an email’ face and then watching them debate with themselves whether they should tell anyone.
But, of course, they do tell somebody and eventually the boss finds out, throws a wobbly and then whole IT department is frantically trying to track down the originating IP address via the email headers but it’s just impossible and you sit there looking on with that ‘Heh, perhaps this has gone a little further than I expected but fuck it, it’s a good laugh nonetheless’.
I’m sure there are still sites like that out there but I assume detection techniques have improved. Plus there are only so many people you can get fired/make take time off work through stress related disorders and such.
So, it being Friday and me being a lazy cunt, what’s your favourite internet jape?
January 18th, 2008 at 9:42 am
john waters says there is nothing but porn on the net, so i sign up and all i can find is pictures of 2 girls sharing an ice cream cup.
January 18th, 2008 at 9:42 am
The Internet is Stupid!
January 18th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Not Internet, but after being called a “Paki” by a South African equities trader an Indian employee of mine when he resigned hacked into the wankers Start Menu so it read “South African Bastard” . The shit did hit the fan but I laughed for weeks about this.
January 18th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Faking “from” addresses on email is still manically simple. Twenty shouldn’t be giving me ideas…
January 18th, 2008 at 10:23 am
All South Africans are bastards, black ones white ones brown ones yellow ones and them shit coloured ones.
January 18th, 2008 at 10:29 am
sending fake affectionate emails to two tentative lovers who (we figured) just needed that final push to allow their love take wing…. yeah right… it was just for our grubby amusement and destroyed any chance of such a relationship. ah happy factory-working days…
January 18th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Just love to mess with the diamond mines/lottery/help-us-to-access-the-dead-king’s bank account scammers by answering them from “my” e-mail address indicating my sympathy and support. The torment possibilities are endless. And after I give them my fake bank account details, the nasty e-mails that follow are fabulously entertaining. Sometimes I include “my” picture on my correspondence. Men from certain African countries seem to especially like Cecilia Ahern. When they turn nasty, they sometimes threaten to visit me in person – oops…..
January 18th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Samantha
Wicked but brilliant…
January 18th, 2008 at 10:53 am
I have heard tell that many African men prefer a woman with a bit of meat on them, I would suggest replacing Cecilia with Mary Harney and then stand back and watch the results.
January 18th, 2008 at 11:03 am
hahaha! this is great, read it..
http://www.419eater.com/html/okorie.htm
January 18th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Nih Hoh and many happy joy greeting of PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA to THE TWENTY MAJORS.
Of course whole family is falling on floor in laughing at you. It is great amusement you are bring for us each of the days. Many, many.
FOR EXAMPLES, the naughty boys of Don’s bar. They are CRAZY, CRAZY. Man O Man, that place has much gayness.
Big sister #3 is for giving Lucky Boy Luke the massive blow-up job. (Fuck the big fucking ¦Do not do it!! You can breaking my heart with it) HA HA HA!!!!
Blind Grand-mother (93 in ages), she must cleaning your Dirty Mickey. Is too hard already, no?
We be open arms and to wait for golden book. That must be gay also. When are you coming out?
Please not be making funny of the bad engrish. Is not to be joking for.
Ching CHONG.
January 18th, 2008 at 11:08 am
This is really bad but fuck it I’m going to tell it anyway.
In college repeating exams one summer myself and a mate went into the computer room to fuck about on the net for a while. At this time there was a Deaf basketball team from the UK staying on campass for some reason. I sat down at a PC and one of the deaf folk had left her hotmail account logged in. She had mails from one of her coaches who had apparently not made the trip. We decided to have a little fun…
Here’s how the correspondence unfolded
I am so sick of this whole Deaf thing.
His reply:
It’s ok, I know it’s not easy at the moment with some people not giving full commitment but once everyone starts going training again I’m sure we’ll get back to winning ways.
Our response:
No, you misunderstand. I am fucking sick to death of being deaf. I cant hear a fucking thing and I dont know what I sound like when I talk. I probably sound like a total retard, it’s fucking shit being deaf.
We had to leg it then as she had come back.
January 18th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Johnny 5 you cunt I have just snorted tea over my fucking keyboard, you can come and clean it up.
January 18th, 2008 at 11:45 am
It’s so bad yet at the same time so very very good.
January 18th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
I like it Johnny 5.
Now, a little off topic, but if you like the lads from peep show this link is worth a look. Helps if you having a passing interest in snooker too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us_olN6OZUY
Anyone else of booze for January. It sucks mighty balls, so it does.
January 18th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I don;t understand why people go off the booze for January.
January 18th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Because people have commitment problems.
Twenty: I thought you might like those email rings. I also sent emails faking your address to various nice Nigerian men who seem to have more money then sense. (Oh, and expect a large bill for Viagra that I ordered… eh.. for a friend… *cough*)
January 18th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
A few years back, a friend of the Missus rang me from England, telling me about the fantastic opportunity that awaited me, if I followed what she had done. She had “bought” some words, common ones like “the” and “please”. From now on, she explained, anytime anyone used these words on the Internet, she was going to receive a payment, roughly about 1p per time.
She was well on her way to becoming a millionairess.
Haven’t heard from her since.
January 18th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I quit booze for the month because I’m so fond of it. I was drinking nearly every day, not pints now, but you know yourself, bottle of beer, glass of wine, something like that and prior to this month, I cannot remember a single week or longer period where I haven’t had a drink since I got my appendix out when I was 20.
I fucking love pints of guinness. And that scares me a little, so I thought I’d reassert the illusion of control until feburary, when I’ll fall off my stool after four pints.
Does make for quiet week ends, mind.
January 18th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Why do spambots continue to send vast quantities of meat substitute to the same address when it is clear that said address has a perfectly functioning spam filter that hides the fatty stuff from view until the owner of the said site removes all of the crap with the click of one button? (After reading all of the really disgusting stuff, obviously!)
January 18th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
This one has always been a favourite:
http://www.zug.com/pranks/powerbook/
January 18th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Where’s that phone call you made to the church of Scientology? It needs reposting, being topical and all.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Fuck that MMN, just go out and get locked.
January 18th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Guy I know faked an email from ticketmaster to my mate saying that his application for 2 Led Zeppelin tickets in London was successful.
January 18th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
heh @ the powerbook scam. Lovely.
Annie – it’s on the right hand side under podcasts, I think.
January 18th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
i dont know what jape is
…i also dont know what a tracker mortgage is …
Does this make me less of a person?
January 18th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
The whole Idea or Rickrolling http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rickrolling is just wrong
January 18th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I obviously won this thing. Twenty, give me a prize you beardy bastard
January 18th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
I’ll give you some more AIDS.
January 18th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Hey Molsen,
this one’s for you;
http://tinyurl.com/2lrx46
January 18th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Give me more AIDS with your cock, you sexy cunt.
January 18th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
‘I don;t understand why people go off the booze for January.’
I don’t understand why people go off booze fullstop.
I give it up must weeks from tuesday till friday and thats long enough.
But a whole fucking month! Why?
January 18th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
think it’s something to do with the lack of money after having your bank account cleaned out by satan claus and his little helpers. january sucks
not an internet jape, but putting every program on the computer in the startup folder always good for a laugh. sespecially if the pigshit company in question uses standard server based profiles
January 19th, 2008 at 12:35 am
standard server based profiles.
thats cunt speak
January 19th, 2008 at 2:13 am
Spitting Image had a song that was something along the lines of “I’ve never met a nice South African”… it was the b side of “hold a chicken in the air” song I think. Anyway, that doesn’t answer your question, but gets the memory off my chest. I hope.
January 19th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
It looks like someone using my initials posted a comment at 2.13 am. It’s the only explanation.
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
My fave net jape? Why, buying Russian brides online for David Norris, of course.
He’s had to move out of North Great Georges Street at this stage, as the whole female population of Sverdlovsk is now living in his gaff.