You see an old lady struggling to cross the street. What do you do?
You help her.
You see a young lady trying to get onto a bus with a pram and a load of shopping and nobody will give her a hand. What do you do?
You help her.
You see a bloke who has been giving the girl in Londis a hard time because her English isn’t so great and he’s being an awful prick and when you come out of the shop you see him drop a €50 note on the ground and he doesn’t notice. What do you do?
You pocket the fucker. Result.
Shouldn’t you promote more love and understanding here? Slip the note to the girl who had a hard time with the eejit!
Then again she might misunderstand …
By the way – most blokes giving non-Irish-national personnel (is that the PC term now?) a hard time because of language seems to be unable to speak proper English themselves. Like “Er, yea, gie us one of dem yokes, y’know, de ones over dere, nah, not dose, de feckin udder, ahjayzuswillyahurryupferchristsake …” All this while trying simultaneously to text a mate and adjust their balls in the tracksuit.
Or they are of the executive variety …
How noble! Good for you Sir!
Although I would have brought it back and given it to the Londis girl. Possibly!
Hah, no chance.
Now that’s karma
That’s fair enough. But do you leave the €50 note lying there?
Ba Dum Tisch!
Excellent, of course you could have ripped it in half, given him one half and tell him he’ll get the other half when he stops being a twat.
That was mine you dirty fucker. I want it back. She was Romanian for Christs sakes
Of course, if you’re a scientologist you’ll help, because you’re the only one who can.
Excellent, of course you could have ripped it in half, given him one half and tell him he’ll get the other half when he stops being a twat.
That’s funny but then I wouldn’t have his €50.
You see an old lady struggling to cross the street. What do you do?
You help her, and help yourself to her pension while you’re at it.
You see a young lady trying to get onto a bus with a pram and a load of shopping and nobody will give her a hand. What do you do?
You slag the fuck out of her, then tell her you’ll be ’round on Friday to see the kids.
You’re in Londis giving the girl a hard time because her English is shite, acting the prick, and when you come out of the shop you drop a €50 note on the ground and don’t notice. What do you do?
Start again.
Only messing. Do you seriously think I wouldn’t hear a €50 note hitting the ground?
God, who works in mysterious ways, punished that prick by causing him to lose his beer money – which means that said money was deliberately put there for you to buy beer. Ergo — it must be spent on beer.
@ GRANDAD,
nice one
The guy was obviously a prick.
But it is very frustrating, the amount of ‘non nationals’working in shops, restaurants etc., who can’t speak english.
I would never give them a hard time. I blame the arsehole employers who put them in the situation.
I always give them a hard time, the non national cunts.
C’mon there Peader, the arseholes who gave them a job in the first place, even though they obviously can’t do it properly yet, and all just because they’re cheap and don’t talk back?
They’re the real pricks.
And it’s not frustrating really, it’s free entertainment.
The majority of those women are stunners, much better than our miserable-looking homegrown lot. I say let them go as slow as they like. They’re the ones giving me a “Hard time”
Ye a lot of them are stunners but it is still very annoying. Waitresses are the worse. You order a rare steak with sauce separate and you get a well done steak covered in sauce. Don’t matter how gorgeous she is there’s no forgiving that
johnny 5 iam shocked i think the same i didn’t think i would agree with you . fuck the yellow cunts send them back fucking scab workers working for fuck all keeping the rest of us down
I have pity for the non nationals but as waiters/waitresses/ receptionists/bar tenders —they really get under my bra when I deal with them. They very often get my requests wrong and shrug a silly smile…almost as if to say, what can I do? I get paid pee-nuts and the boss is fuckin me so something has to give…
Jesus Christ, what a feckin busy body do-gooder you are
It’s like a scene from Superman
is it a bird? is it a plane? no, its… oh fuck, not that beardy cunt again
Twenty,
Bald Devil may be a cunt, even a boring cunt. But at the very least, He is not an attention grabbing cunt who gets off on the attention these assholes pay you. Get over yourself fuckwit. By the way, you are nowhere as smart as you think you are. The Bald Devil would have asked him for a light for the cigarettes that I had bought with his 50 quid. Kurva, Kurva, Kurva.
Bald Devil loves some of you some of the time.
Yeah, but Bald Devil doesn’t have the fucking €50, does he?
“Bald Devil may be a cunt, even a boring cunt. But at the very least, He is not an attention grabbing cunt ”
Eh?
I remember when Bald Devil was born and her father thought she was a boy. I did not have the heart to tell him that she was just dog ugly until Bald Devil was thirteen and had her first dishonorable discharge from the uterine navy and of course she ran straight to her father who thought someone had ripped the balls off her.
We laugh about it now. Good times.
Give the girl the E50.00 she can get some English lessons!
At one time I didn’t think I’d see the day when “Good grasp English is an absolutely fucking massive requirement” should be on a job advertisement in a shop window…
BUT IT SHOULD.
Shit… I meant to say “Good grasp OF English”.
So much for MY grasp. (… heh. “Grasp”.)
Fuck it, I’ve had 7 pints. I have my reasons.
Nobody could ever criticise a man who has had 7 pints.
You’re amongst friends here.
Except Bald Devil – he’s just a witless clit.
twenty give her €50 euros to suck your cock they are good at that i will give them that .fuck all else mind but good for that
Twenty
Good luck with the Blog Oscars
I have to admit,most of them are fucking stunners.I usually just stare at them open mouth with a hard on. Christ I wish I had a ten incher.
Judging by the volume of your output, I would think you have never even seen a clit let alone know what one is or what to do with it. Dont see too many of them in Ron’s Ill bet.
Bald Devil loves you all.
You were up early this morning Bald Devil. What Happened? Wet the bed again, did you?
I hope not Monkey Balls because Bald Devil promised me she had stopped doing that when she turned forty.
Don’t blame the non-nationals for filling a gap in the job market that the feckless nationals don’t want to do. Anyway I have been to Kerry and the nationals grasp of English is about as good as a Nigerian scammers.
i don’t have anything good to say, so i think i’ll say it.
i like being drunk in the morning.
A friend of mine stood up to a bunch of knackers abusing a chinese girl in McDonalds when he was pissed in Cork one time, they beat the shit of him.
He won’t be doing that again!
He only wanted to ride her anyway.
Peurile, I take it we are taking about the same Kerry that produced John B. Keane, Brendan Kinelly, George Fitzmaurice, The Taylor and Ansty, Maurice O’Sullivan etc? You probably ahven’t heard of half of them but that then that’s your bad.
By the way, which particular Kerry accent got you confused, the Beara, Iveragh, Dingle or North county one?
Just wonderin’ like….
Dogzbollix ;kerry is a big pile of wank i know i am fucking living there they are all fucking hillbillys, sheep fuckers, sneaky cunts,
they smell of shit and b.o
DogzBollix, I ahven’t heard of ANY of them, except the 1st one, so that then that’s my bad too.
Look Mummy, I’m talking Kerry!!!
Her English would’nt be great’ how could it be?. She would’nt be able to speak with my cock shoved in ‘er gob.
Johnny, from your tone ’tis obvious the ladies of the fair Caha mountains aren’t putting out…
“sneaky cunts”? Totally. Those boys would buy and sell you, mind mice at cross roads, cute as shithouse rats etc. Don’t ever let the self-deprecating bog act fool you man!
Worth checking out the writers though:
Brendan Kinelly-peot and prof of modern lit. in TCD.
George Fitzmaurice -playwrite-his works are an insane combination of Beckett and Keane, a genius who was shafted by Yeats and is only now being appreciated 50 years after his death.
The Taylor and Ansty- a collection of oral history folk writing at its purest
Maurice O’Sullivan -Fiche Bliain ag fás (20 years a’ growing) a writer from teh Blaskets, but unlike Peig Sayers, won’t have you reaching for the razer blades.
So there you are.
Yeah, then they go and name their best footballer after the empty bit between your ball bag and yer arsehole. Very poetic Dogz.
All these lying fuckers who say they would have given the money to the chick, go and hit yourself in the face with a housebrick. You’d have run off so quick anyone would have thought you were Britney being chased by straight jacket brigade.
dogbolick
what the fuck is “that’s your bad.”
your bad …what the fuck does that mean.
why not say yes my mistake … those yank bastards with there “my bad” cock … any guy saying my bad needs a good punching in the back of the head for an hour straight and then a good fucking up the ass
if I ever see any of yees using my bad again… ill hop off yee …ill fucking hop of yee
“that’s your bad.” is “your mistake” not “my mistake”. http://www.urbandictionary.com will sort your future linguistic difficulties.
Keep up the meds and have a little Kleenex session for yourself, sounds like you need it.
Drop the Dogz – You’re only a bollix
Dear Dogzbollix,
I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for calling you a bollix this morning. It was early, and I wasn’t fully awake at the time.
You’re actually a cunt, and a stupid one at that. You have some fuckin’ cheek posting a link to a so-called “Dictionary”, when your previous post mentions “peots”, “playwrites”, “teh Blaskets” and my personal favorite, “razer blades”. And just what the fuck is “oral history folk writing”? Sounds like a collection of old jokes to me.
I’m all for promoting Kerry. I firmly believe it’s the most beautiful place in the world, but Jesus Christ, you’re not the man to do it.
Bollix formerly the cunt know as DogzBollix,If your typing is indicative of the way in which you speak I rest my case re Kerrymen. I concur that Kerry is the most beautiful place in the world and I visit there regularly. However I do keep my children locked up for fear of them being eaten or wedded off to one of the locals. The level of American pollution seems to be quite high in most of Kerry, although they do keep the knitwear shops in business.
Puerile
Think of another country not too far away…
Say for example Scotland. Now imagine 2 glasweigans, discussing the fitba after 2 or 12 pints…
It sounds musical to me, their accents, I love the sound of how they speak, but unfortunately I dinnae understand a word a et… ken whae mean?
Yeah, all Scottish people should be killed. Or eaten.
Dear Monkey,
You complain about my typos after “ahven’t heard of ANY of them”?
And stuff the pseudo-literate attempt at a reposte you felching little shit.
Monkey, I apologise for Db. We used to have a double act that took the start of my name and the end of his. We were, of course, called the symbolics. I was Sym, and he was….
Bald Devil has a question.
Is this still the Twenty blog or has it turned into Monkey Balls’ personal comment/bullshit forum?
Bald Devil loves you all. Even you Twenty.
Sam your knowledge of Scotland is amazing. However you would never catch a soap dodger saying “ken” for fear of being called a “choochter”.
Off to eat some haggis and toss my caber.
Have you ever noticed that a lot of the people who gave Bertie loans, gifts, dig-outs etc are now dead.
There’s quite a few who gave him money who are now dead.
coincidence
after reading your story a week or so ago about the young man’s fortunes who helped a little old lady, i won’t be helping any old ladies do anything for quite some time…
I had to google that one PP, the urban shitebags (dictionary referred to earlier)reckon its a term for a person from northern Ireland, but a scottish website reckons its a term for what the irish may lovingly refer to as a culchie. I havent been to scotland, I have learned all my scottish from Irvine Welch books and drunken scottish peolpe. (though I am now far too old and prudish for Irvines books)
The return of Alfie – Pish Flaps! Thank you very much, my friend. I have many apostrophes for misplacement by you and your friends.
Dogzbollix said:
Dear Monkey,
You complain about my typos after “ahven’t heard of ANY of them”?
And stuff the pseudo-literate attempt at a reposte you felching little shit.
Actually, he was quoting you – you retard, see comment #40
I could be wrong, but I have a suspicion that Bald Devil is actually Proud Englishman (sans toupee, obviously).
Thank you Ahmed. But you could’ve pointed out that the fuckwit can’t spell “Riposte”.
Personally I find him much more entertaining than Proud Englishman ever was.