Due to roadworks on the M50, the world’s greatest stretch of road, a new layout has come into effect at the Red Cow roundabout. As ever the signage and signalling are seriously confused.
In order to help motorists I have produced this simple to follow guide which will ensure you’ll always end up going the right way. Feel free to print it off and keep it handy for when you have to try and navigate this tricky area.
Agreed, that is definitely the worst stretch of road anywhere in God’s kingdom.
Thanks for making navigation much easier – you’re a diamond
Is the cow bleeding?
Twenty, that looks over-simplified.
Are you sure you have all routes included in that diagram?
There is a series of roundabouts in the vicinity here. The official advice is that you pick the lane you want to enter the ‘system’, pick the exit you desire, and negotiate a course as close to straight as possible between the two. This means vehicles are often heading the wrong way round one or other of the circular routes. Confused, you will be on this weeks edition of Soap.
They promised us Jetpacks. They promised all of us Jetpacks. Its 2008!!! How more tomorrowish can we be living in?
The scary thing is Twenty, that it looks remarkably like the real thing:
http://www.rte.ie/news/2008/0113/RedCow.pdf
the should genetically breed some sort of giant, who can stand in the middle of the crossroads and pick up and put down cars depending where they want to go.
It makes sense if you think about it.
It would be far simpler to install a huge fucking railway turntable (like they had in the good old days of steam) You drive on then it whirls around dropping you at the correct exit.
why is it called the red cow roundabout – nothing to do with mary harney?
I don’t understand the problem. On my way home this morning, after spending the night on one of my many “into-the-hand” jobs, I saw no difference.
Then again, I was one of the smug bastards on the Luas.
Harney?
A communist?
Pah!
Can i just say that I would ride Harney, missionary position of course, but only because it would upset her.
Wait a minute, is it even possible to ride that fat cunt “missionary position”?
I doubt it.
Depends if the missionary is a hunchbank I think, Monkey.
Monkey Balls,
I’d like to see you try and fit her in the back of your broken down VW van…
Now THAT would be a story!
red cow – designed by punks ;p
Why we have more helicopters per capita then anywhere else in Europe. Didn’t Haughey’s son have a helicopter company ?
should rename it the redcow rollercoaster. beyond me why they don’t just put a great big crossroads in the middle with traffic lights and maybe one of those little lightsaber waving fas trainees from tullamore. won’t make traffic any worse, although might prevent some of the more amusing accidents that are bound to happen there now.
ps. i take it the book is all finished now twenty?
Daddy D., don’t get me started.
I’ve had a few goes at Mary H in me time, and even my 18″er doesn’t get a response.
It’s not for the want of trying, but I don’t think she even knew I was there.
Flirty – http://www.celtichelicopters.ie/Home.html
Don’t knock it… the red cow rollercoaster is much cheaper than Funderland.. and twice as death defying. Also, there’s the exclusive reverse over the window washers game.
true elcc, but at least you get to leave funderland eventually.
V little excuse for being in Funderland though.. unless you really, really want someone to puke on your ‘fer wearin’ outside’ pyjamas.
Hmmm, it looks like there’s a globe on the cow.
Cool.
Ah, come on lighten up. This is a junction in Moscow. If you want to go left on the upperleft corner of the picture you have to take half a tourist roundtrip.
http://static.flickr.com/103/304387953_3e41e86945_o.jpg
more on: http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2006/11/incomprehensible-intersections.html
So the red cow is not so bad after all. I’m suprised they didn’t let you go over the toll bridge and take the N3 roundabout and back again. That would bring in some cash as well.
daniel,
this is tunnel in Russia. I don’t think we have much to learn from them. http://www.snotr.com/video/29
and apparently it is no longer the Red cow roundabout..it has been promoted to an interchange!!
Thats some tunnel of death there Monkey Balls
That is indeed some video MB!
What the hell is the road made from – glass?
the lawnmower – officially the quickest motorised way of getting home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT60SkXN1UY
Ha ha ha!!!!
You left out the Luas.
I just close my eyes and use the bumpers and other cars as guiderails.
Twenty, thats actually more accurate than the Dublin City Council map of the area..well done.
Expect townplanners to headhunt you shortly.
So essential the lack of roads in Ireland is an elaborate attempt to keep celtic helicopters in business, brilliant
so the long and short of it is that there is no jetpacks?
OR IS THERE http://www.jetpackinternational.com/video.html
too complicated ibanez – few coke bottles and a bicycle pump is all that’s needed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvM8Cp7wnXQ
I feel sorry for the cow .. all dem fumes, no wonder she’s red.
I think its’ fucking fantastic because it will keep people from getting to Club Diva before 2am and the shit encrusted dump will be forced to close down.
IBANEZ,
I hope you didnt get any further than about number forty, on that steaming pile of trash-tv manure that Dayton was peddling on sky 1 last night. I really did try to watch it, I tried to understand the sky viewers… but I couldnt.
On the John Waters Front, I caught two minutes of him berating the editor of The Evening Herald tonight,on Today-Tonight or whatever the fuck they call it now, so that has to stand for something??
No? Anybody?
Bueller?
It doesnt matter cause your all gone now….
I need to be more topical..
OOOOOhhhhh, that REd-Cow roundabout, what about that red-cow roundabout…..
What about it? I bet its a pain in the ass to drive through etc….
Jesus I need a drink
and PS
How come all cunting bloggers and commenters are programmers… And yet when they put links on somebody elses blog they fail to put one little thingie in the a-tag to open their very amusing and hilarious links in a new window/tab
Im not a programmer
Thats my excuse
2 weeks without a drink is the excuse for the horse-shite…
Just remember all of yis,when your getting a taxi from the airport to the red cow hotel and you end up in tallaght,it’s not the taxi mans fault.. and you should still pay the fare,even though it’s €20 dearer.It’s only fair.
Loved the doodle, Twenty… While people are getting stressed about the roadworks, the little arrows reminded me of a song from the 60′s that we can all listen to while navigating it all…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HztA8te0EM
This was when telly was telly.
Note the new window/tab
But most importantly check out chelseas comment.
Funny Vid
i tried…
Can anybody hear me???? Hello! HELP ME…
I’ve Fallen over…
HELLLLOOOOOOO!
I can hear you, firewood. Shut the fuck up.
Do lady snails get periods?
Wouldn’t they drown?
Nice one Twenty. Your just missing the “Wrong Way, Turn back” sign helpfully placed at the top of each sliproad to make it complete.
Oh, and the sign at the top of the southbound slip road that points the way to Cork, quickly followed by another set of signposts on the next exit that completely forgets Irelands 2nd city ever existed.
‘Oh, and the sign at the top of the southbound slip road that points the way to Cork, quickly followed by another set of signposts on the next exit that completely forgets Irelands 2nd city ever existed.’
Cork doesn’t exist?
We should be so fucking lucky
A year ago I decided I am not going to London any more. Not even flying trough. Nothing. The cues, and the painfully long security checks just got better of me. It was a change for the good. I fly a lot, and it got me to visit all other interesting cities instead to exchange flights. Venice is beautiful, in every time of the year…
Well the M50 is becoming a bit like London. Last two times driving from the South I missed Firhouse exit. Had to go all the way to the Red Cow to do a U turn back. And Red Cow reminded me of Marry-go-Around a bit. Round and round, up and down you go. I hope they get their act together since I can see a sign post already:
London (via Red Cow)
And me deciding, no I am not going there.
Ivan | http://www.JobsBlog.ie