Toast
There are two kinds of people in the world.
1 – Normal people who spread a bit of jam or marmalade on toast as a delicious start to the day
2 – Sick bastards who spread butter on their toast before they put the jam or marmalade on.
Which one are you?
January 6th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Normal, apparently, thanks to Grannymar being dairy allergic and not using butter in any context when I was a kid…
January 6th, 2008 at 11:37 am
I’m one of the really, really sick fuckers who spreads wads of lovely, tasty butter on my toast, along with a wodge of Marmite.
Salty.
I then have Jam or Marmalade on my second piece of toast, for dessert.
January 6th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Four slices of toast covered in cold lard or dripping with a good dose of west indian hot pepper sauce,.. now what’s for lunch?
January 6th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I’m even sicker than Matt. Honey on the third slice. Whisky in the coffee.
January 6th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
What? Of course you must spread butter on your toast before adding the preserve of your choice. here is f course never an excuse for Marmite.
However, all of this means nothing to me as I live in the “New” Ireland and only eat a selection of tasty pastries for my breakfast whilst drinking a skinny mochalattacinno.
January 6th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
butter, a dollop of marmite and then either strawberry Jam or marmalade – salty sweet and tangy!
January 6th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Without butter; Beans / Cheese.
With butter ; Sausages / Eggs.
But not jam, never fuckin’ jam.
What do you think I am, French?
January 6th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
butter and jam between my wife’s legs and lick it off and iam set for the day
January 6th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Twenty you really have to gone too far this time. Some of the stuff you have posted in the past has been close to the edge but this is just too much.
Im a butter and jam man and always will be. I consider myself quite normal thank you VERY much.
I bid you good day sir. Good Day!!!
January 6th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Don’t be a filthy philistine all your life, of course the butter goes on before the marmalade.
However people who like Marmite need to be rounded up and blunderbussed.
January 6th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Johnny, will you try to be more thorough with your licking in future, please? My mot is getting very suspicious of me coming home with jam in me pubes.
January 6th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
I don’t eat toast. Don’t like salty butter so I bake pancakes.
January 6th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
iam sorry monkey balls but i have to use loads to kill the smell
January 6th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Spreading Marmite on toast is better than wiping your butt with toast because it’s not as scratchy. Whiskey
in the coffee would help.
So- how’s that whole Taser thing
http://twentymajor.blogspot.com/2004/10/gardai-to-give-trouble-makers-buzz.html
working out for you over there after several years? It’s out of control here- the cops lean on the trigger
for extended fun, over and over again.
Congrats on your bloggish persistence.
January 6th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Apology accepted Johnny. It’s probably my fault anyway, from doing her up the A-hole first.
January 6th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Butter only, please.
Jam and marmalade is gross shit that you had to eat when you couldn’t get real fruit.
January 6th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I’m with Medbh. Butter alone . Not margarine. In fact i am going to make some now.
January 6th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
What sort of working class hero are you to spread without butter??? Gack!
Last Tango in Paris for me….butter ALL the way. Followed by thick cut marmalade, infused with whiskey, of course.
January 6th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Butter and jam please.
I guess I’m just ill bread.
January 6th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Oh Anthony, you know butter than that.
January 6th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
had a prody mates whose dad told them that they could spot catholics as they buttered their toast on the wrong side.
January 6th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
“had a prody mates whose dad told them that they could spot catholics as they buttered their toast on the wrong side.”
Bet they used marmalade
January 6th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Dear, dear Twenty, you’re sucking up the dregs with that post…I mentioned to a very nice guy in Grogans recently that I read your blog and he walked away from me. He joined a few mates in the bar near the toilet and they all looked at me and laughed…Was that nice guy you Twenty…I mean, moving near the toilet and everything?
January 6th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Sorry fatmammycat, I was just trying to churn out a good one! :(
January 6th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I prefer muesli to start the day myself, Major, but toast is fine with or without butter.
January 6th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Normal people won’t eat marmalade. It sucks. And who wants to eat a dry piece of toast? Ya gotta butter it and then wash it down with a nice cuppa tea. A great comfort food is tea n toast.
January 6th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Grogans. Not me. I’m barred. Which one is Grogans again?
January 6th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
There are two kinds of people in this world.
People who think there are only two kinds of people in the world, and normal people.
January 6th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Ahh, now what would you say to a nice cup of tea?
‘FECK OFF, TEA!’
January 6th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I come from a mixed religion household. My mother favoured the cow clot under her marmalade, my father was vehemently opposed. Breakfast was an idealistic battleground and, as often happens, my brother and I rejected that early extremism. I breakfast on kiwi fruit skin and wet twigs. My brother puts the marmalade on first and then the butter, the sick wee bugger. My cousin breaks fast by cutting all the pink bits off the bacon, putting the fat only – not even crisped, just white, limp glistening fat like Ian Paisley’s willie – in a buttery sandwich and causing vomitting in people rooms away.
Two of these three breakfast choices are untrue.
January 6th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
I work with a girl who puts spreadable cheese on her toast, then jam over it! Now thats just not right!
I have to say though, I’m a sick fucker! Love me butter and jam!!!
January 6th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Butter then the honey please. Or Jam. Not marmalade though. No not that at all. And not marmite for feck’s sake!
January 7th, 2008 at 1:54 am
I like a light sprinkling of toast crumbs on my butter…
January 7th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Sick Bastard
January 7th, 2008 at 10:37 am
butter first of course.
peanut butter and jam actually works quite well too though.
(but i wouldn’t put butter and peanut butter on, no sirreee)
January 7th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
HONEY
January 7th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Anybody try to put butter on top of the jam?
January 7th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Butter, then marmalade. Absolute perfection!!!!!!! With tea, of course (milk, no sugar).
January 7th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
HOT Topic. Can we do some kind of poll? I need a poll.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Butter first. Then Marmite :-P
January 7th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
MMMMM…. butter, then marmite, then bannana
OR
butter, peanut butter, strawberry jam, streaky bacon then another slice of buttered toast.
You could fry it in butter, but that’s just greedy.
?? do you toaster or grill? – grill rocks, also you have to slice the bread yourself to get thick doorstops.
January 7th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Cold toast, thick butter and marmalade
January 8th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Toast without butter? Your the sick fucker
January 8th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
You chaps just don’t appeciate Marmite. The secret is to put lots of butter on your hot toast with just a tiny bit of Marmite. Try that and come back to me.
Cold slightly burnt toast with marmalade can be jolly nice.
I find sandwiches made with toast, sausages and marmalade absolutely spiffing.
January 13th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
i like crumpets but i am very rich