Fantasy Kris Kindle

You choose one person, alive or dead.

You choose one present for them, good or bad.

Who do you choose and what do you get them?

I’d get Damien Rice a life-support machine so I could take him off it.

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53 Responses to Fantasy Kris Kindle

  1. Caro says:

    An abacus for Bertie.

  2. Caro says:

    Though on second thoughts he’s had enough gifts for one lifetime.

  3. Andraste says:

    I’d get the Spears sisters hysterectomies.

  4. Grandad says:

    A brain transplant for Dubya.

  5. Twenty Major says:

    I’d get the Spears sisters hysterectomies

    haha.

    Wouldn’t he have to have a brain first, Grandad?

  6. Sid Trotter says:

    I’d buy you a drink twenty, just sos i could take it off yer and drink it meself …. but its the thought that counts isn’t it?

  7. kev 1 says:

    a packet of Barrys teabags for bertie so he wouldn’t have to buy his own tea for a while

  8. Johnny5 says:

    A big mac for Mary Harney.

  9. Twenty Major says:

    I think the idea is to get them something they don’t want, Johnny5.

  10. Twenty Major says:

    Perhaps the word ‘poisonous’ is missing from your comment.

  11. Paulo says:

    Id get the receipts for Bertie and the rest of the cabinets dig outs and give them to the tribunal, then Id get developers,builders,estate agents and VI economists and banish them all to fuc**** spike island with no remission ever and 1 tent between the lot of them. Bastards

  12. Scratcher in the States says:

    Maggie Thatcher-A room in the Grand Hotel Brighton (6th floor).

  13. Johnny5 says:

    One more big mac will kill her, that’s my reasoning.

  14. Twenty Major says:

    Surely you could save money by just getting her one wafer thin mint.

  15. Johnny5 says:

    A grain of rice would be even cheaper with the same desired effect.

  16. Peadar says:

    Its christmas. Down with all this hate.
    Twenty, go out and buy a D. Rice album and give it
    a listen, just for the season thats in it. You might like it.

    Careful now

  17. Twenty Major says:

    I would get Peadar his very own firing squad.

    Time for pints. Laters.

  18. Pete says:

    I’d get Stephen Hawking a Nintendo Wii.

  19. samantha maguire says:

    Cancer to everyone responsible for the mis-diagnosis of any woman or its cover up.

    A conscience to Bertie.

    Eternal flatulence to all you saps who voted FF.

    Life-long dysentry to Barry Egan, Brendan O’Connor, Eoghan Harris and their ilk.

  20. Eejitbasher says:

    I’d get Stephen Hawking a Nintendo Wii. by Pete.

    Fuckin brilliant :)

    Anthrax parcels for all of Dail Eireann.

  21. samantha maguire says:

    …..And for Twenty, Five.Gold.Rings. – one for each of your holes.

  22. Peadar says:

    do you reckon the members of the dail are into Anthrax?

    I prefer Slayer myself

  23. Yippee says:

    Samantha, I think you’re a genius!

    Personally, I’d give a dose of the worst, genital-burning, maddening itchy, weeping, incurable, puss-oozing clap, to the same people as Samantha!

    Oh yes, STDs, the gift that keeps on giving!

  24. Nanuk says:

    A pair of balls for the pizza delivery man to replace the ones I shot off him for trying to mess with my missus. Except the balls would have to come from an HIV-infected rhesus monkey.

  25. Pizza Delivery Man says:

    I would give Nanuk the results of the DNA tests.

  26. I’d buy Heather McCartney a pogo stick.

    And I’d buy myself a video camera.

  27. Eejitbasher says:

    “do you reckon the members of the dail are into Anthrax?
    I prefer Slayer myself”

    The ghost of Liam Lawlor walks the halls of the Dail singing
    “I am the Law”
    Mary Harney is a big Death and Cannibal Corpse fan.

  28. fucksticks says:

    Nah, I’d get Heather McCartney her very own plane.

    And a razor for the other leg

  29. Peadar says:

    The ghost of Liam Lawlor walks the halls of the Dail singing
    “I am the Law”

    haha

    I’m off. Happy xmas all you cunts

  30. ben says:

    i’d buy katherine thomas chlamydia . . . .

  31. el pisso says:

    I’d buy Mr lardy arse Gore a bike. Hypocritical bastard telling me to curb my emissions. He with his fleet of cars, mansions and traveling everywhere by private jet, the cunt.

  32. Mr Shitebag says:

    Spot on 20 – Ahern is the cuntish cunt that is currently cunting – but his balls are smashed now – just hope he is around to answer why Jim Mansfield Jnr ‘Dublin’s biggest coke and gear importer’ has been allowed to use Westdon airport as his own private durg route – is it because his daddy – Jim Mansfield senior is in to the lord of the cunts for a few large.

  33. itchybollix says:

    Frank Connolly

    A trip to Columbia

  34. H says:

    I’d have got Saddam some weapons of mass destruction. Could’ve evened things up a bit…

  35. Silly Old Sod says:

    Stuart Lobbock, a pair of of water wings, awight?

  36. laughykate says:

    Tom Cruise – a door out of his closet.

  37. samantha maguire says:

    Ok, this is addictive, plus Yippee is a right charmer…..

    Life-long blindness to the RTE scheduling shmucks who think Celebrity Jigs + Reels is acceptable New Years Eve viewing

  38. Dr Maroon says:

    I’d get Fatmammycat that catsuit that Michelle Pfeiffer wore in the batman films.

    Then I’d get her to walk about in it for a bit.

    real slow

    yeah

    I bloody would an’ all.

    classic

  39. Twenty Major says:

    You are such a slut, Maroon, you slut.

  40. BigUlsterman says:

    Internet banking for B-Bertie with voice r-recognition software

  41. Feynman says:

    Id like to give myself a new testicle after an unfortunate agricultural accident early on during the year …. shure it makes the levi’s easier to wear

  42. MMN says:

    I’d get a stripper for Ahmadinejad. And I’d get his wife a book. AND I’d shake her hand.

  43. ELCC says:

    I’d get Gerry Ryan a big mac… and dangle it on a stick just slightly out of his reach. I wouldn’t want to watch though.

  44. Loco Lobo says:

    Get Sir Elton ten lords aleaping.

  45. ELCC says:

    Oh, and I’d get you a pirate costume and a pet owl.

  46. porridge says:

    and a pet dwarf dolphin

  47. Mr Angry says:

    I’d get Mother Theresa a facelift.

  48. Sam Crea says:

    a years supply of Nicorette for TM,
    It is the time for new Years REsolutions after all..

    Happy Christmas

    to one and all

  49. shaz says:

    I would give Barry Egan meningitis and some hair dye for that gross looking head of his.

  50. JL Pagano says:

    I’d get Bertie a reality check if i didn’t think he’d try to cash it.

  51. smudgy says:

    I’d give Mary Harney a bed in the Mater – public. Then see her shit herself and lose some of that unwanted fat.

  52. cnut says:

    Mr. Bojangles – a new dog.

  53. Pingback: Alexia Golez » Blog Archive » Most Humorous Post Longlist 2008

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