“Twenty”, said Dirty Dave, “what’s your favourite colour?”
“Erm, I dunno. Red?”
“Right so. And what’s your favourite food?”
“Meat.”
“And what’s your favourite leisure activity?”
“Smokinganddrinking.”
“Thanks. Can you tell me your favourite day of the week?”
“Friday.”
“And are you a jeans or slacks man?”
“Jeans.”
“Would you drink full-fat or semi-skimmed milk?”
“Full fat.”
“And would be more partial to a cup of tea than a cup of coffee or would it be the other way around?”
“The other way around.”
“Tea, it is.”
“No, coffee.”
“Right so. My mistake”.
“And if you were to describe your personality in one word would you say you’re extrovert or introvert.”
“I’m introvertedly extrovert.”
“I like it.”
“If you saw a shirt on the ground would you lift it or would leave it where it was?”
“Erm, leave it.”
“Finally, are you age 15-25, 26-35, 36-45, 46-55, 56-65 or ‘older’.”
“Why are you asking me all these questions?”
“I’m filling in a form for a dating agency.”
“And is there some reason why you couldn’t just invent stuff that you think the women might like?”
“Yes, there is.”
“And what’s that?”
“I’m signing Pete up for a gay dating agency.”
I love the spirit of Christmas – give, give, give.
Does Dirty Dave work for Sky Handling Partners?
He’ll have to change ‘leave’ to ‘lift’ on the shirt question then I suppose.
“I love the spirit of Christmas – give, give, give.” or take, take, take, depending on the pitching/catching preference.
You Commie BAstard!!!
….Or maybe you just like liverpool, or something…
Well you know what coffee the other way around is code for.
Tell him not to bother with the dating agency I’m on his case soon as I get the dogs and my Mother fed I’ll be on my way, there is one in the back of the van I’ll throw him out in Tipperary he’s gone a quare colour anyway.
Peter Thatchell said if you use the word gay you should use the word paki and nigger too.
I dunno; I’m just a thick paddy
i asked a pakistani guy i worked with if he minded being called a paki.
and he said he did.
I don’t see why though, i mean its just a shortened version of his country, like brit or jap.
Jeans?
What a mummy’s boy. I can see you, big Jeremy Clarkson gayer shopping at Blue Harbour. Break out man, put on the old Levi sta-prest and Ben Sherman and join us other aging fanasists at the bar. We look just as odd but we don’t give a flying fuck.
I don’t see why though, i mean its just a shortened version of his country, like brit or jap.
We’ve been down this road plenty of times before. Let’s not do it again.
Maroon – the choice between jeans and slacks is like the choice between a ham sandwich and a vomit sandwich
That’s right!
And obviously you like eating sick.
See that abscess on Dirty Dave’s anus? That’s you, that is.
No, it’s not – it’s me
combats are the only way to go. hard wearing, lots of room for everything to breathe, and great for impressing the ladies as you produce bottles of wine, glasses of spirits and even mixers as if from no where marriage at canaan style. not so good for pints though.
uhhh, anuses
combats are for tossers
If the dating agency thing works out, you might soon be posting about Stinking Peter’s stinking peter.
I’m confused – why ask Twenty ? If Twenty was gay he would smoke Marlboro and be working for the BBC in London.
why ask tewnty? cos dave obviously thinks that twenty would make the perfect gay date. punch in the throat in order i think.
“combats are for tossers” – better than the short pants your mum makes you wear.
uhhh, anuses
should that not be ani ?
annus horribulus
cavus septicus
chocolate star
Hello Sid, I was out do you know if it rained while Iwas out?