Questions questions
“Twenty”, said Dirty Dave, “what’s your favourite colour?”
“Erm, I dunno. Red?”
“Right so. And what’s your favourite food?”
“Meat.”
“And what’s your favourite leisure activity?”
“Smokinganddrinking.”
“Thanks. Can you tell me your favourite day of the week?”
“Friday.”
“And are you a jeans or slacks man?”
“Jeans.”
“Would you drink full-fat or semi-skimmed milk?”
“Full fat.”
“And would be more partial to a cup of tea than a cup of coffee or would it be the other way around?”
“The other way around.”
“Tea, it is.”
“No, coffee.”
“Right so. My mistake”.
“And if you were to describe your personality in one word would you say you’re extrovert or introvert.”
“I’m introvertedly extrovert.”
“I like it.”
“If you saw a shirt on the ground would you lift it or would leave it where it was?”
“Erm, leave it.”
“Finally, are you age 15-25, 26-35, 36-45, 46-55, 56-65 or ‘older’.”
“Why are you asking me all these questions?”
“I’m filling in a form for a dating agency.”
“And is there some reason why you couldn’t just invent stuff that you think the women might like?”
“Yes, there is.”
“And what’s that?”
“I’m signing Pete up for a gay dating agency.”
December 19th, 2007 at 12:19 am
I love the spirit of Christmas – give, give, give.
December 19th, 2007 at 12:47 am
Does Dirty Dave work for Sky Handling Partners?
December 19th, 2007 at 1:17 am
He’ll have to change ‘leave’ to ‘lift’ on the shirt question then I suppose.
December 19th, 2007 at 2:10 am
“I love the spirit of Christmas – give, give, give.” or take, take, take, depending on the pitching/catching preference.
December 19th, 2007 at 2:20 am
You Commie BAstard!!!
December 19th, 2007 at 2:25 am
….Or maybe you just like liverpool, or something…
December 19th, 2007 at 7:40 am
Well you know what coffee the other way around is code for.
December 19th, 2007 at 8:24 am
Tell him not to bother with the dating agency I’m on his case soon as I get the dogs and my Mother fed I’ll be on my way, there is one in the back of the van I’ll throw him out in Tipperary he’s gone a quare colour anyway.
December 19th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Peter Thatchell said if you use the word gay you should use the word paki and nigger too.
I dunno; I’m just a thick paddy
December 19th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
i asked a pakistani guy i worked with if he minded being called a paki.
and he said he did.
I don’t see why though, i mean its just a shortened version of his country, like brit or jap.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Jeans?
What a mummy’s boy. I can see you, big Jeremy Clarkson gayer shopping at Blue Harbour. Break out man, put on the old Levi sta-prest and Ben Sherman and join us other aging fanasists at the bar. We look just as odd but we don’t give a flying fuck.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
I don’t see why though, i mean its just a shortened version of his country, like brit or jap.
We’ve been down this road plenty of times before. Let’s not do it again.
Maroon – the choice between jeans and slacks is like the choice between a ham sandwich and a vomit sandwich
December 19th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
That’s right!
And obviously you like eating sick.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
See that abscess on Dirty Dave’s anus? That’s you, that is.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
No, it’s not – it’s me
December 19th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
combats are the only way to go. hard wearing, lots of room for everything to breathe, and great for impressing the ladies as you produce bottles of wine, glasses of spirits and even mixers as if from no where marriage at canaan style. not so good for pints though.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
uhhh, anuses
December 19th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
combats are for tossers
December 19th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
If the dating agency thing works out, you might soon be posting about Stinking Peter’s stinking peter.
December 19th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
I’m confused – why ask Twenty ? If Twenty was gay he would smoke Marlboro and be working for the BBC in London.
December 19th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
why ask tewnty? cos dave obviously thinks that twenty would make the perfect gay date. punch in the throat in order i think.
“combats are for tossers” – better than the short pants your mum makes you wear.
December 19th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
uhhh, anuses
should that not be ani ?
December 19th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
annus horribulus
December 19th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
cavus septicus
December 19th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
chocolate star
December 19th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Hello Sid, I was out do you know if it rained while Iwas out?