I sincerely believe…
Posted on | December 13, 2007 | 54 Comments
…that you should be able to knock people off their bikes when they’re cycling along a main road with no hands on the handlebars.
Similar posts
Comments
54 Responses to “I sincerely believe…”
Leave a Reply
December 13th, 2007 @ 1:10 pm
Or cycling on the main carriageway when the council has spent thousands on a cycle lane.
December 13th, 2007 @ 1:14 pm
Sure what’s not able to about you?
December 13th, 2007 @ 1:23 pm
Agreed!
Its the same scobies who have both hands wrestling on their bollocks down their tracksuit bottoms whilst standing outside any Spar shop.
You should be allowed run them over too!
December 13th, 2007 @ 1:26 pm
the amount of little scumbags with their hands down their pants is disgusting.
they should be exterminated.
December 13th, 2007 @ 1:29 pm
Or people who cycle with babies on the back… We should be able to crash into them too…
December 13th, 2007 @ 1:32 pm
…and the new age ones with children in trailor-things on the back of their bikes
December 13th, 2007 @ 1:58 pm
Dont forget about the halfwits with a learner licence driving on the motorways who dont know how to use a roundabout or an indicator and who think a “lane change” is what gay and lesbians do.
December 13th, 2007 @ 1:59 pm
And the ones that cycle the wrong way up one way streets and on the footpaths.
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:00 pm
I don’t really care about people cycling up roads the wrong way or on footpaths but when they’re going along with no hands on the handlebars it’s like they’re taunting you.
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:03 pm
hear hear. especially if they have their arms folded and are nonchalantly smoking a cigarette. show-off cunts.
*sulks, as cannot even scratch nose mid-cycle without falling off bike*
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:04 pm
Anyone with a line of fluff over their upper lip and a baseball cap deserves a punch.
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:14 pm
Well, I just have a particular gripe against the ones that cycle the wrong way up one way streets after I was creamed by a bicycle courier going the wrong way down Merrion Row while I was looking the other way. Pulled the fuckin dreads clean out of his head I did, the two wheeled pedal pushing crusty!
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:15 pm
In those circumstances, Jack, I’m right with you.
And have you seen those couriers who go around with these mad bikes which don’t seem to have handlebars?
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:17 pm
Yeah, or brakes!
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:25 pm
It is a fucking disablity you morons.
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:32 pm
As a cyclist who frequently does all the things you fat fucks are moaning about when you’re not wheezing through your type 2 diabetes, let me just say:
“Ask me bollix”.
The code of the cyclist demands that you occupy the highest moral highground in terms of any form of transport-ness. A pedestrian is as a pedestrian does. A cyclist shall always break the lights, avoid cycling lanes (because they’re shitty and bumpy and full of crap that gives you punctures) and above all he or she will hate motorists, particularly BMW-driving motorists, cause those guys are the biggest cunts. But I think everyone knows that.
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:38 pm
Knocking them off is too easy stick a bar through the spokes and see them fly
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:47 pm
The only high ground a cyclist should occupy is up in the cemetary under a headstone.
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:49 pm
“The code of the cyclist demands that you occupy the highest moral highground in terms of any form of transport-ness.”
Moral Highground? Your bike was probably made in a sweatshop in Taiwan and lubricated by the tears of oppressed orphans.
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:55 pm
I know what to do with them.
And with their strong legs from all that bicycling they should be able to hold themselves up for a long time.
Could even sell tickets …
We could perhaps give them a warning first (I hate this fucking streak of mercy I’ve picked up somewhere). Remove the seats, tie their hands behind their backs. Send them off on a five-miler along a bumpy road. Give them just a taster for Vlad’s medicine. Second offence and they’re really in the shit … well, Vlads medicinal prophylactic is anyway.
They wouldn’t be back. Well, except for the gayers maybe.
Fuck I hate the fuckers. Fuck … I hate everyone come to think of it.
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:58 pm
It’s okay to knock them off their bikes but ONLY if it’s into oncoming traffic. I blame Bertie myself.
And the travellers
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:04 pm
Also, them gobshites who can’t even put their L plates in their Fiat Uno’s or whatever on the right way up should be run over too!
There’s a lot of hate on this blog!
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:19 pm
Ram the bastards is what I say
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:28 pm
WELL WELL WELL, TO ALL YOU WHINGERS BACK HOME, YOU ALL NEED TO CUM OUT HERE TO BEIRUT AND EXPERIENCE THE DRIVERS – NEVER MIND THE CYCLISTS AS THERE ARE VERY FEW INDEED – THE FEW THAT I HAVE MET HERE, WERE TOURISTS ON THE CORNISHE AND A YOUNG ONE ENDED UP KNOCKING ME DOWN – SHE JUMPED UP AND RAN AWAY, SHE GOT SUCH A FRIGHT!!
THE REAL BASTARDS OUT HERE ARE THE BIKERS, DELIVERY BOYS FROM FAST FOOD OUTLETS DELIVERING TO THE LAZY LOCALS AND OF COURSE THE DRIVERS – USUALLY 4 WHEELERS DRIVEN BY A FEMALE, WHO IS ON HER MOBILE, PAINTING HER FACE AND EATING BREAKFAST OR LUNCH, ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
NOW SHE IS THE REAL BITCH, WHO NEEDS TO BE ELIMINATED IN SOME FASHION – SHE IS A REAL DANGER TO THE PEDESTRAINS OF BEIRUT!!
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:33 pm
…and the ones that run red lights by jumping up on the pavement
….and the ones with music in their ears, in fact those ones you need to reverse over after the intial knock off.
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:37 pm
Jack, I can think of no more fitting place for my two-wheeled steed to be made.
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:42 pm
Eh Fourth Former – Us cyclists can’t use the cycle lanes coz they’re FULL of glass. Honestly. I wish I could but they’re in a state, particularly since halloween. Anyone who thinks we should use them anyway and quit moanin’, well I will so – Right after you sprint a hundred metres down a cycle lane, barefoot!
As for cycling with no hands – sorry Twenty but I still get that same stupid childish buzz I did when I first learnt to do it on my Raleigh Burner in 1984. I’m off to ram a load of cardboard from A Kelloggs Cornflakes box into the spokes of my bike to make it sound like a motorbike. RRRRrrooooar!!
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:43 pm
To be honest, anything that has been lubricated by the tears of oppressed orphans is fine in my book.
Especially the puckered little arsehole’s of said orphans.
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:48 pm
I remember when I lived in Dublin getting a taxi to a restaurant on some street just off Grafton Street. I might have been after a few pints, paid the taxi man, opened the door and SPLAT. A motorbike goes right into the door, smashing the door window. One broken cab window. One very injured motorbike courier. I remained unharmed. My initial thought was this cab driver would lose the head with me for not looking when I opened the door but he just laid into the bike courier and told me not to worry. I went on to have a very nice meal. Felt sort of invincible for the rest of the night.
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:50 pm
i love whizzing past traffic on me bike.
lazy fucking cunts who spend an hour driving 2 miles to get to work.
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:53 pm
Morgor – It’s the extra hour in bed that I love most. Bliss.
December 13th, 2007 @ 3:59 pm
not being a big fat fucker is nice too. :)
December 13th, 2007 @ 4:01 pm
I recently knocked down 3 polish guys as they were cycling to work ( with no hands on handle bars). One came through the windscreen, one landed on the roof and the other was sent flying 200 meters by the impact.
When the gardai arrived they charged one of them with breaking and entering, one with criminal damage and the other with leaving the scene of an accident
December 13th, 2007 @ 4:03 pm
Never mind, handless cyclists, this from RTE:
The line-up for the New Year’s Eve special ‘Celebrity Jigs ‘n’ Reels’ on RTÉ One has been revealed.
Joining host Marty Whelan on the show will be ‘The Sunday Game’ presenter Michael Lyster, columnist Amanda Brunker, comedian Jon Kenny, RTÉ 2fm presenter Damien Farrelly, ‘Fair City’ star Amy O’Sullivan (Beth Kenny), Waterford hurler Eoin Murphy and wildlife expert Eanna Ní Lamhna.
They will all be dancing in aid of St Vincent de Paul with Jean Butler, Colin Dunne and George Hook judging their footwork.
The fun begins at 9.30pm on 31 December, with the grand final taking place in the run-up to midnight.
What I wouldn’t like to do to every last one of them.
December 13th, 2007 @ 4:06 pm
Never mind handless cyclists, this from RTE:
The line-up for the New Year’s Eve special ‘Celebrity Jigs ‘n’ Reels’ on RTÉ One has been revealed.
Joining host Marty Whelan on the show will be ‘The Sunday Game’ presenter Michael Lyster, columnist Amanda Brunker, comedian Jon Kenny, RTÉ 2fm presenter Damien Farrelly, ‘Fair City’ star Amy O’Sullivan (Beth Kenny), Waterford hurler Eoin Murphy and wildlife expert Eanna Ní Lamhna.
They will all be dancing in aid of St Vincent de Paul with Jean Butler, Colin Dunne and George Hook judging their footwork.
The fun begins at 9.30pm on 31 December, with the grand final taking place in the run-up to midnight.
What I wouldn’t do to everyone of the fuckers, especially the witless scheduling freak who thinks is quality entertainment for New Year’s Eve….
December 13th, 2007 @ 4:15 pm
Peadar has clearly been transported to 1989.
December 13th, 2007 @ 4:40 pm
Nothing is as annoying as being a cyclist who obeys the rules (mostly) and gets overtaken by bastards on bikes who don’t stop at red lights. Invariably leads to belting after them, catching and passing them, and then stopping at the next red light where the whole thing repeats, and so on and so on.
December 13th, 2007 @ 4:44 pm
johnny5…………..you truely are going to hell.
December 13th, 2007 @ 5:01 pm
Haha Peadar-I have not heard that one before I am going to steal it.
December 13th, 2007 @ 5:06 pm
Good work. Loads of cyclists about the place.
Couple of months ago I took out this little ASBO as he was crossing the street in front of his mates being all loud and all with his bag of chips. They saw me, he didn’t, I had no breaks at the time, so I had to lean in to balance the impact.
Smacked him onto the road I did. Even stopped to apologise.
Nice.
It’s five bells gentlemen, copious amounts of the black stuff awaits.
December 13th, 2007 @ 5:07 pm
…and above all else a cyclist will be able to safely operate his bike with no lights when most other people couldn’t stand for the amount of drink they’ve taken.
December 13th, 2007 @ 5:29 pm
I’ve just gotten off a bus driven by the crankiest, most paper reading, muslim insulting, school children and old lady hating, misanthropic psychopath. It took two pieces of oak smoked cheddar and a glass of wine to calm my nerves.
He didn’t hit any bikes though.
December 13th, 2007 @ 5:59 pm
Come on Twenty, I was rolling a cigarette. have to do it somehow…
And what I hate most of drivers? when you pass me and stop 200 meters down the road for a light. Why the fuck don’t you leave me any place to pass you on the inside? Did you forget about me already? Can’t imagine how because you gave me more than half a lane space when you past me. I thought you where scared of me. Trust me. Only time I do want to damage your car is when you stopped 2 inches away from the curb.
And pedestrians: Next time I will run you over in Phoenix park when you walk on the cycle lane. Fuckers.
December 13th, 2007 @ 6:08 pm
Joe Burke gave Bertie money because he “is a friend”
Bertie gave Joe Burke the job of Chairman of The Port Authority because
(a) He was corrupted by Joe Burke
or
(b) Joe Burke has a degree in nautical engineering and experience of the B & I ferry MV Philip Sheedy designed my mates pub?
answers on a postcard to Joe Burke’s girlfriend (a parachuted FF councillor)
December 13th, 2007 @ 7:05 pm
bertie is a cunt.
always fuckers walking on the cycling lane, why don’t they use the fucking path?
cunts.
December 13th, 2007 @ 7:49 pm
Cyclists!
Fuckin thrillseekers!
They deserve all they get, the lightless, lawless swines!
December 13th, 2007 @ 8:14 pm
It’s just that we don’t want to end up driving in a boring traffic jam to our boring job and end the day with yet another boring jammed drive home.
It may take me a little longer than by car, but for fuck sake, I’m alive when I’m home!
December 13th, 2007 @ 8:14 pm
My wife once knocked a cyclist off his bike at Stephen’s Green (true story), she was pulling into a parking spot, and indicating to do so, when some brainless spastic decided to cycle past us on the inside. He hit the front of our car as we were pulling in, flew clean over the bonnet and fucking skulled himself on the tarmac on the other side. Funniest thing I’ve ever seen. We didn’t even get out of the car to help him up because we were both paralysed with laughter…Result!
December 13th, 2007 @ 8:16 pm
ps, you should try it sometime. You know what’s more dangerous than a couple of bikes and a lot of cars? less cars and more bikes.
December 13th, 2007 @ 8:54 pm
ah fuck off cyclists and get off the fucking road and onto the cycle lanes
I swear I am going to cream those two cunts who cycle down the Diswellstown Road every fucking morning when there are EMPTY fucking cycle lanes running the FULL FUCKING LENGTH of the road which is now narrower because the FUCKING CYCLE LANES were put it which means I cannot fucking overtake any FUCKING car bus van or CYCLIST
you cunts
December 14th, 2007 @ 1:20 am
I would rather kill a cyclist than James Blunt or Joe Duffy !!!!!!!! and I hate James Blunt & Joe Duffy.
There is also a skinny little fucking queer working in BT’s, I was walking through the store this week and he asked if he could help me, I told him to “fuck off”, now if he was a cyclist and you killed him you would probably feel much better than you would if the cyclist wasn’t a faggot, I know I would.
December 14th, 2007 @ 9:45 am
There is also a skinny little fucking queer working in BT’s, I was walking through the store this week and he asked if he could help me, I told him to “fuck off”, now if he was a cyclist and you killed him you would probably feel much better than you would if the cyclist wasn’t a faggot, I know I would.
Seriously, what was the point of that?
December 14th, 2007 @ 1:35 pm
i think he’s trying to express his hatred of homosexuals. . .
December 15th, 2007 @ 10:08 am
He obviously is very attracted to other men and this is his way of dealing with it, cmon Lafsword just come out and tell the world. Sing if your glad to be gay.