Is there some unwritten rule of crime fiction (especially prevalent amongst Irish crime writers) that the private detective must have had a child die on him which then causes an alcohol abuse problem?
I was reading one today and it just sticks out like the biggest, laziest cliché of all time. I think it happened around the 40 page mark, which is where that book was closed and will never be opened again.
the thing that pisses me off the most is that every film has to have a love interest.
No matter how irrelevant and unlikely it is.
even fucking judge dredd had to have a love interest.
dickheads.
Name names, damnit. Does a wife and child being skinned alive count? ‘Cos that particular series is pretty good.
There’s a fine line between tradition and cliché!
Morgor im with u buddy,tacked on bollix,who cares.
BTW Brendan Gleeson for Taoiseach.
a friend of mine was ranting about the film in the cinema Hitman, said it was a pile of shit with a big wank of a love story fired into the a pointless plot.
i noticed the metro or the herald or something gave it 5 stars despite calling it a pile of shit.
they should sort that out.
There are Irish crime writers??? News to me…
But yes that is a rule, it’s one of several scenarios that can be chosen; others including having experienced a horrific ordeal in Vietnam or being a disgraced cop. Easy reading though!
Well, every private detective has to beat the truth of a child now and then. There’s bound to be the odd accident.
Nornally they’re other people’s children though, Bock.
Jason – not that series which is quite enjoyable. Not too many of them have had their children flayed, to be fair.
I remember I was stuck for a book while on holidays in spain. i found a shop with an english section and took the biggest/longest book i could find, which was by that guy who wrote Clear and Present Danger and all those movies that Harrison ford acts in.
anyway – it had something to do with a virus from monkeys being spread into the states and of course the rest of the world. Man, was it God Bless America or what!!!!!! I struggled through the non stop subtle refrences to “free America”, “conservative America” “america the greatest” up until about the last 50-100 pages out of a book that was about 1,200 pages long.
It got so sickening, I put it down and didn’t even bother finding out if all those fucking americans died or not.
and I got to tell ya, thats rare for me.
Yeah the Herald AM gave a fairly middling review of Beowulf but still gave it five stars.
What they should have said is ‘Beowulf is not even worth cleaning my one chocolate ass star with’. Anyone see it? Saw the 3D version. Absolute pants.
anyone who believes anything they read in the herald deserves everything they get
as do morons who read crime novels, esoecially ‘best sellers’, and expect anything other than formulaic cliche ridden tat
Having a rough day, Podge?
alcohol abuse problem
Social worker speak ?
Oi Twenty!!
LOoks like Christmas has come early this year:
http://www.independent.ie/breaking-news/national-news/model-katy-french-dies-5-days-after-collapsing-at-party-1239753.html
John (comment # 15). You wanker. That’s unnecessary and uncalled for.
Tell me Bertie’s dead and I might celebrate a bit.
She doesn’t merit the headlines, nor will she the gushing tributes and column inches we’ll see in the next few days – and she probably died because she did too many drugs (and I bet there are plenty of people who visit here who’ve done bucketfuls themselves) – but I don’t see any reason to gloat over it.
John you’re a cunt.
Iv’e had Private Detectievs chasing my arse for a month for TV Lience, but I got away with it, because, Iv’e had a Bailiff stuck up my arse hole for the last two days…if needs must..?
Porridge – re: morons who read crime novels … a brief list of Irish writers who’ve written crime novels, and probably read one or two, includes John Banville, Sam Beckett, Brian Moore, Eoin McNamee, Flann O’Brien, Edna O’Brien, Pat McCabe, Gerard Donovan, Ronan Bennett, Hugo Hamilton, Eugene McCabe, Liam O’Flaherty and William Trevor. Ya moron …
If you really want to experience all that’s wrong with Irish crime fiction, just try to get past the first chapter of anything written by that malignant, poisonous, dwarf of a cunt: Paul Carson. Part time GP and consultant, part time writer, full time knob.
…and you’re right: this is personal…I’ll never get back those ten minutes I wasted with his unbelievably shite buke…
…The cunt even has his own website (what a fucking surprise!): http://www.paulcarson.net (visit if you dare!!)
Some extracts:
‘The John Grisham of medical fiction.’ Sunday Independent
‘Paul Carson is the master of the medical thriller.’ Irish Times
‘I reeeaalllllly hate that little fucker.’ Cantona
By the way: Paul says he’d really love to hear from you – I suggest we send him a link to this blog………..in fact I think I’ll do it now
Forget the crime fiction reading.. what you need is the Columbo boxset… nothing says Sunday afternoon hangover like “just one more thing”…
Accidentally shooting the unarmed teenager and having the department close ranks to protect you only to quit in shame and disillusionment at the very bahaviour that was protecting you from public opprobium. A variation?
No, it has to be the dead babby and the heavy pour. It’s logic, you see – if you haven’t had a sprog die on you and then spent the next six months in an alcoholic haze then you’ll never be able to solve a crime. Just look at the gardai. If a few more of them had had their childer butchered by lunatics tehy’d be a much more efficient police force.
Maybe someone should….ah no. I’ll stop that thought right there.
dear eleanor rigby (#20)
1. critical acclaim means fuck all
2. use a better search engine – i found a much larger list of irish crime writers than you in no time at all and could list them here if i really cared if people thought i was well read or not
3. according to criticalmick.com, who seems to be very excited by this genre, the following (cliches if ever i saw any) are what make irish fiction “good”:
- Unarmed cops, heavily armed baddies
- Good booze, pub strangers who appear friendly
- Caches of buried arms
- Doorway to Europe, strong connections to… everywhere
- New prosperity across the road from old poverty
- Emigrants returning home… bringing what back?
- Political fun
- Drop-dead gorgeous women
- Savage tempers
- Celtic heritage
- Small island where chance meetings- wanted and unwanted- are a certainty
- Major drug route into the UK
- Poets, musicians, comedians and other lyrical, colorful bastards
- Majestic backdrops
- Rich history of injustices to dredge up
- It’s a place you thought you knew, but you’re guaranteed to be surprised
4. still having a bad day, so please go fuck yourself.
Dublin has a crime fiction bookshop: Murder Ink on Dawson Street.
See: http://www.shotsmag.co.uk/Criminal%20Conversations%20in%20Dublin.htm#top