Let them fight amongst themselves
Posted on | November 14, 2007 | 50 Comments
Apparently there’s a new Republican paramilitary group in the north now.
As well as the Real IRA and the Continuity IRA there’s now ‘Oglaigh na hÉireann’, which translated from Irish means Lemons of Ireland, I think.
In time we’ll have the Genuine IRA, the Bona Fide IRA, the Honest-to-Goodness IRA and Ar nos na gaoithe na hÉireann.
Perhaps they could set up a Wrestlemania type thing in the Kings Hall where the winner is given full ‘Ra rights and crowned the Kosher IRA.
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50 Responses to “Let them fight amongst themselves”
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November 14th, 2007 @ 2:01 pm
Oglaigh na hÉireann or Fianna Fáil = Soldiers/Volunteers of Ireland.
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:02 pm
Lemons is better. I’m sticking with lemons.
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:06 pm
Don’t forget the It-Wasn’t-The-IRA IRA. You know, the ones who didn’t kill Paul Quinn?
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:06 pm
Well somehow FF translated their name as Soldiers as Destiny. You can pretty much make you the Irish language as you go along anyway because nobody really has a fucking clue.
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:08 pm
Except you.
Conan – heh
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:16 pm
Give them all guns, stick them in a big warehouse and let them at it.
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:21 pm
Or the Move-over-IRA, the Utterly-IRA and the I-Cant-Believe-Its-Not-The-IRA
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:22 pm
“I can’t believe it’s not the IRA”, anyone?
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:24 pm
Oglaigh na hÉireann? The defence forces are a terrorist organisation now? :-)
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:25 pm
Just ahead of you JC.
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:38 pm
Arse, Jack. But hats off to you. The oldies are the goldies!
Of course, in the light of various spying scandals within militant Republicanism, I find the most accurate name for that wing of the IRA still intent on violence to be ‘British Military Intelligence.’
November 14th, 2007 @ 3:01 pm
What about the Peoples Front of the Ra,Ra Peoples Front.
November 14th, 2007 @ 3:16 pm
‘Or the Move-over-IRA, the Utterly-IRA and the I-Cant-Believe-Its-Not-The-IRA’
thats a Patrick Kielty gag from his stand up routine from years ago
November 14th, 2007 @ 3:21 pm
I propose the ‘EtceteRA’.
November 14th, 2007 @ 3:29 pm
“Ra Peoples Front”
Fuck off!
Lung – heh.
November 14th, 2007 @ 3:44 pm
I’d like to welcome our new group of provos to the show and dedicate this song to them:
I LOVE BELFAST
Every time I look down on this timeless town
whether gray or grayer be her skies.
Whether loud be her jeers or silent be her fears,
more and more do I realize:
I love Belfast in the Shankhill.
I love Belfast in the Falls.
I love Belfast in the winter when it drizzles;
I love Belfast in the summer when it still drizzles.
I love Belfast every moment,
every moment of the year.
I love Belfast, why, oh why do I love Belfast?
Because my Pub is near.
November 14th, 2007 @ 4:00 pm
I had heard of the “Utterly Butterly IRA” or is that “Utterly Batterly” given what happened in Monaghan where the IRA played “Music for Patriots”
Here’s the incidental “Music for Patriots”
A young man in a farmyard is screaming, begging for mercy. The dark hearts surrounding him reply in expletives punctuated by thumps. Now, in perfect sync, the yelps keep time to the thud of metal on flesh. Then, the whip of nailed cudgels attenuate the wailing. Body music carries the movement – a sinew tears from kicking, a bone cracks under iron, and flesh sucks the puncturing nails. Towards the end of the performance, a diaphram-gasp, as life itself is chased from the body.
November 14th, 2007 @ 4:02 pm
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Very interesting Tomaltach. It’s good you’re into music, you will soon have a chance to play some diaphram music.
November 14th, 2007 @ 4:03 pm
Yikes.
November 14th, 2007 @ 4:39 pm
Twenty did you not mean ‘Lemmings’ ?
November 14th, 2007 @ 4:40 pm
The Cunts-in-unity IRA – please tell me that they did not kill that family of seven in Omagh?
November 14th, 2007 @ 4:44 pm
Why are y’all talking about Gershwin?
November 14th, 2007 @ 4:51 pm
Samantha,
Now please, hang on a minute here. The IRA do not – did not ever – kill non-combatants. They targeted legitimate military personel. Besides, the reason wuz ‘all the people on these islands’ ‘all the guns from the streets’ ‘british government’ ’800 years of oppression’ ‘establishment’ .. so thur.
November 14th, 2007 @ 4:55 pm
Don’t forget the High-Fibre IRA with no added lead, and the Extra-vitamins IRA. Or you could try a carton of Gerrycol every morning for the old cholesterol, with a Slab of Omega 3 Cheesy Spread.
Then of course, you could try the organic Corn-Fed Free-Range IRA.
The world is your gangster!
November 14th, 2007 @ 5:10 pm
For me, the splinter group, The You’d Better Fucking Pay Attention To Our Tantrums Cunt IRA has always had the doctrinal edge over the group whence they split, The You’d Better Fucking Pay Attention To Our Tantrums Matey IRA. It was their pamphlet campaign that did it. In my book, if anyone’s going to be a group of murdering bastards, they’d sure as hell better have a top-notch pamphlet campaign. As the old saying goes, pamphlets maketh the terrorist. The old ways are the best.
November 14th, 2007 @ 6:06 pm
twenty you must be getting all sorts of jax reading material these days….learning all sorts from the IMC report arent you?!
November 14th, 2007 @ 7:37 pm
That’s begging for a reality TV show. There could be a twist in the middle to stop it from getting stale, Johnny Adair could be parachuted in with an arsenal of weapons and a few bags of coke, and start a rival faction. Get on the phone to Channel 4, they’ll love it with its quirky Irish charm.
November 14th, 2007 @ 7:39 pm
Hold on, I just scanned the comments, Tomaltach, didn’t the IRA kill civilians? Targeting military…jesus christ but that’s a horrible unpleasant inhumane way to look at something, boiling it down to targets and statistics. Killing anybody…anybody…equates to terrorism and shouldn’t be ever acceptable, so fuck off with your escapist rhetoric.
November 14th, 2007 @ 7:53 pm
IRA Lite ( less weapons )
November 14th, 2007 @ 8:02 pm
I hear this new branch are not going to be like the old IRA, they’r not going to kill as many Irish, they’r going to concentrate on Africans, Chinese, and East Europeans, but only East Europeans who speak english, the ones who speak their own language are deemed to be speaking Gaelic so they’ll be safe.
At their first meeting to discuss tactics they decided that as they were just starting out, they should start on smaller targets, chuck grenades into a couple of infant schools, blow up bingo halls and old peoples homes.
Someone suggested that the best way to carry out a bombing was to strap explosives to ones body then mingle with the target and detonate the device at the right moment, the others said that such a suggestion was positively suicidal, and said there was no room for idiots in their organisation, so they took him outside and shot him!
November 14th, 2007 @ 8:38 pm
We all know the problem – South Armagh and to a lesser extent, Monaghan. We need a modern day Cromwell to pay a visit, ship the survivors off to the Horn of Africa followed by another plantation – how about giving the place to a few hundred thousand hard working Poles ? Good cathlics, so nobody could claim it was sectarian and the church would be happy.
November 14th, 2007 @ 8:41 pm
hang on a minute here. The IRA do not – did not ever – kill non-combatants. They targeted legitimate military personel.
Fuck off Tomaltach – Enniskillen ? The fuckers even abducted a kid with severe learning difficulties from his school and shot him in the head, leaving him to die in the grounds of Belfast Zoo.
November 14th, 2007 @ 9:11 pm
Maggot: You’d need to get out your dictionary and look up “irony”.
You have five minutes.
November 14th, 2007 @ 9:16 pm
Bock – there’s a lot of foreign cunts come here who would read that and take it as being serious.
November 14th, 2007 @ 9:25 pm
“kind of like iron” Don’t forget Fearghus.
November 14th, 2007 @ 9:46 pm
Maggot: Your point is?
November 14th, 2007 @ 9:47 pm
Too many foreigners round these parts.
THEY TOOK OUR JOOOOOOOOBS
November 14th, 2007 @ 9:48 pm
“Kind of like iron”, hahaha.
November 14th, 2007 @ 10:40 pm
Gay foreign cripples coming over here, taking our men. And our wheelchairs.
November 15th, 2007 @ 12:10 am
Hello, I am not the IRA…
November 15th, 2007 @ 12:40 am
as part of their new corporate rebranding campaign, seems the republicans are going to give their amphibious division (the smuggling of guns and drugs and general larking around in boats lot) parrots and eyepatches, and rename them pIRAtes.
November 15th, 2007 @ 12:58 am
Oglaigh na hÉireann = Oglers of Ireland. They’re not paramilitarians at all. It was the long coats that confused everyone.
November 15th, 2007 @ 8:31 am
Fearghus and Maggott have both shown themselves to be humourless idiots, perhaps they are in The We Are Not Fucking Joking About This Anymore IRA, or The We Have Totally Like Lost Our Sense Of Humour IRA.
Good one Maggott, doing it for the foreigners, I am sure they appreciate your concern about them misunderstanding some of the posts here. You can expect a dirth of early christmas cards from them, one and all.
November 15th, 2007 @ 8:46 am
As a legitimate foreigner (tho not gay) who took one of your jobs I am glad that Maggot cleared that up.
Even us fucking foreigners understand irony, we may be fucking foreign but we are not thick.
November 15th, 2007 @ 11:04 am
Your House Is At Risk If You Do Not Keep Up Protection Payments IRA?
November 15th, 2007 @ 10:49 pm
Has anybody noticed that there are no Sign Posts in South Armagh ? Loads of fucking oil tankers sitting in peoples yards but no fucking sign posts. Is this because the IRA have removed them all to prevent the Brits finding their way around ?
THE IRA
Lets face it, no matter what name they call themselves, they are nothing more than lowdown scumbag criminal cunts & this is all they ever were, Gerry Adams, and that fuzzy headed Cunt McGuinness included, they cannot even dress or present themselves without looking like the Low Down Council Estate Trash they fucking are.
By the way Maggot, I wont be going to Monaghan anytime soon, unless they are holding a ceremony celebrating the fact we’ve given this cunt hole of a scrounging county to the fucking Brits aswell. The 7 counties sounds much better.
November 16th, 2007 @ 9:09 am
“thats a Patrick Kielty gag from his stand up routine from years ago”
oh the shame
November 16th, 2007 @ 3:18 pm
In the north? Since when where any version of the RA ever only in the north? They’re all from Kerry surely. No Dundalk, I’m pretty sure its Dundalk.
November 16th, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
If it’s not the IRA then it must be the YouRA, I hear Google are interested in buying them.
November 18th, 2007 @ 1:25 am
to lafsword: pretty sure you’ve never been in south armagh – even all the little side roads in the back arse of nowhere are sign-posted
to lafsword and maggot: go and fuck with your anti monaghan diatribe, we are as much disgusted by the murder of paul quinn as anyone is and to the actions of scumbag criminals (yes lafsword you are right on one point)who use the border as a excuse for illegality.
cromwell and ‘seven counties’ me arse.