Anti-Racist Workplace Week

Posted on | November 5, 2007 | 39 Comments

Careful everyone, this is Anti-Racist Workplace Week, the one week in the year when it’s forbidden to be racist at work.

I know, I know. It’s a dreadful inconvenience having to treat people with fairness and equality despite the colour of their skin. The usual office banter is stifled and places of business become far less enjoyable.

For a week we won’t hear the shouts that makes us all laugh.

“Hey Patrick, you black cunt, go down to the supply room and get me some post-its.”

“What’s that John from Beijing? You don’t feel well? Perhaps the common cold has found a chink in your armour!! Hahaha.”

“Ok then, you can wear a turban at work. Only joking! You can fucking make me a curry instead though.”

This week will be boring for most people though, won’t it? There’s nothing the Irish love more than a bit of good old fashioned racism and some pencil-pushing fucker is taking that away from us. It all comes down from the office of the Minister for Equality, Conor Lenihan. Like the rest of us he’s going to find it hard to cope without making cheap gags at the expense of foreigners.

Is he going to ‘stick with the kebabs‘ this week? Well, he cannot if he is to set an example to the rest of us.

These 5 days are, for most people, going to be like when you’re 6 and you’re dying for your birthday. The days drag on forever, it takes so long to arrive, but eventually the big day comes. The 6 year old will get his presents and his cake and rice krispie buns and next week we can go back to being completely racist, just the way we Mick cunts like it.

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39 Responses to “Anti-Racist Workplace Week”

  1. Puerile Pish
    November 5th, 2007 @ 9:13 am

    It seems in my workplace to have had the opposite effect, I have been at work for about an hour and have slagged off most of Europe, by lunchtime we should have made it to Asia. When I worked for the NHS they made us do a mandatory Equality and Diversity course (I have the certificate to prove it) It was delivered by a white South African, when I pointed out this was somewhat ironic he was quite put out.

  2. Puerile Pish
    November 5th, 2007 @ 9:14 am

    Actually I should be quite relieved he disn’t turn a water cannon on me, make me dig for diamonds for 18 hours and make me live in a Shanty town…fucking Boering cunt.

  3. Lung the Younger
    November 5th, 2007 @ 9:15 am

    This is typical of our bloody ruling party. Next thing those bloody Fianna Failers will be moving into our neighbourhoods, eyeing up our women and taking our cabinet posts. Although it has to be said, they do have that wonderful sense of rhythm, don’t they?

  4. woowoo
    November 5th, 2007 @ 9:37 am

    Ye’re all a bunch of tattie munchin fenian bastards.

    Its not racist, its like them blacks calling themselves the N word we can’t mention but the blacks can.

    So – fenian, terrorist supporting roman catholic bastards we all are……and Wasn’t the Rev Ian……….erm, very nicely turned out this weekend. And hurrah for the huns……..er, The Peeples Club,for doing so well this weekend.

  5. Twenty's Wriggly Chum
    November 5th, 2007 @ 9:51 am

    Is it still OK to laugh at bogmen from Kerry and knackers ?

  6. woowoo
    November 5th, 2007 @ 9:56 am

    Well, they are Irish – though I know they speak a diffrent language, so – racially abuse them to your hearts content.Fucking stinkey knackers!

    Just don’t racially abuse any one from the north part of the country – you might get into trouble for that.

  7. Puerile Pish
    November 5th, 2007 @ 10:28 am

    I know there is a history of inbreeding way out west, however I don’t think they are a different race. I do think that harp drinking, swaggering, bowler hatted,sash wearing flute players may count as a different race so should be treated with all the courtesy that we afford slopes, chinks, porch monkeys, mulattos , chappatti munchers, sand monkeys and polacks.

    Are we still allowed to bash gays in the workplace this week?

    Hoorah for equality and diversity.

  8. Twenty's Wriggly Chum
    November 5th, 2007 @ 10:43 am

    Are we still allowed to bash gays in the workplace this week?

    They’ll be ever so offended if you don’t.

  9. Monkey Balls
    November 5th, 2007 @ 11:13 am

    Why don’t we have a Kill-A-Racist week? That could solve a lot of problems, and improve the Nation’s Average Intelligence.

  10. Twenty's Wriggly Chum
    November 5th, 2007 @ 11:18 am

    Racism is what makes countries great.

  11. Joan of Argghh!
    November 5th, 2007 @ 11:37 am

    Anti-racism is all well and good.

    If they ever have a Be Kind to Blithering Idiot Co-workers Week, I’m doomed.

  12. myles o'tool
    November 5th, 2007 @ 11:43 am

    Was willing to slag off our Pakistani cousins but have changed my mind. Any country that arrests lawyers and kicks the shit out of them can’t be all bad!

  13. Groucho
    November 5th, 2007 @ 12:15 pm

    What a fuckin boring grey sodding world! I loathe Political Correctness what’s happened to Free speech and Freedom of expression and no wonder it’s a cabbage from Lennie the Fricken Fringe … the gobshite!

  14. Groucho
    November 5th, 2007 @ 12:23 pm

    What really pisses me off is that I collected 9 tokens of the 10 needed, for an enamel badge of a chap with black curly hair & a brown face. When some useless bastard said it was racist – it broke my fuckin heart, those cunts never gave a toss about the kids who were collecting badges and their pain.

  15. Tivo
    November 5th, 2007 @ 12:26 pm

    Get some original material Twenty.
    http://www.mongrel.ie/issue27/void27.php

    Second last paragraph. Took me about 20 minutes to find that too!

  16. Puerile Pish
    November 5th, 2007 @ 12:39 pm

    I collected the gollywogs, then I put them in a toy BMW X5 and had them sell crack cocaine on my Manchester playmat.

    This isn’t my workplace so I can happily go on and on.

  17. johnny rotten
    November 5th, 2007 @ 1:08 pm

    i don’t work so fuck that ,
    Yesterday a Muslim in our street doused himself in petrol and set himself on fire and sadly died. So were having a collection for his family. So far we have 80 litres…… /why don’t the polish like hide and seek ….. no one wants to find the cunts, WHAT DO YOU CALL A PAKI SHEEP SHAGGER.

    RAM A LAMB…..!

  18. johnny rotten
    November 5th, 2007 @ 1:26 pm

    p.s Kerry people are thick smelly cunts, soap dodgers
    the lot of them fucking inbred cunts

  19. Peadar
    November 5th, 2007 @ 1:42 pm

    whats the difference between E.T. and the polish cunts?

    E.T. could speak english and did want to go home

    Knackers aren’t a race so they don’t count.
    But sure anyway this only applies to the workplace and who the fuck ever heard of a knacker that works?

    Lazy, smelly inbred cunts

  20. 10 Park Drive
    November 5th, 2007 @ 2:07 pm

    Johnny Rotten doesn’t work ? Now there’s a fuckin’ surprise.

  21. johnny rotten
    November 5th, 2007 @ 3:14 pm

    what wrong you jealous ? iam the worst kind of scum iam scum with money….. ha ha , think about that one park drive, when your stuck in a 9to5 boring dead end job . fuck that .

  22. Loco Lobo
    November 5th, 2007 @ 3:47 pm

    Well at least you can still call white males any shitty name you want because we’re the only unprotected species left.

  23. McJimmy
    November 5th, 2007 @ 4:33 pm

    Anti-racism week mean that there is goimg to be a pro-racism week coming soon?

  24. Twenty Major
    November 5th, 2007 @ 4:55 pm

    In the interests of equality you’d have to think so.

  25. Twenty's Wriggly Chum
    November 5th, 2007 @ 5:26 pm

    Does Dirty Dave count as white?

  26. McJimmy
    November 5th, 2007 @ 5:27 pm

    I cound finally ware my SS button pin!

  27. size ten
    November 5th, 2007 @ 7:15 pm

    Worse than all that, most of the hungery looking drips can’t make a decent kebab.

  28. tommy
    November 5th, 2007 @ 7:23 pm

    I have it on good authority,actually a drunk cunt who was in my car, that a black barber who has a shop in moor street has a sign that reads ‘no whites allowed’.
    I don’t usually go for affro’s or hair extensions but would I be justified in popping into his shop and calling him a black racist bastard,or is that racist.
    I’m white btw,with a tinge of tobbaco in places.

  29. Twenty Major
    November 5th, 2007 @ 7:32 pm

    Sounds like a tall tale from a drunk cunt, Tommy. All well with you?

  30. OneForTheRoad
    November 5th, 2007 @ 10:45 pm

    Is it ok to still slag off Romanians though? None of those theiving fuckers have jobs.

  31. tommy
    November 6th, 2007 @ 12:51 pm

    All well Twenty,looking forward to the book,anytime soon?

  32. Twenty Major
    November 6th, 2007 @ 1:04 pm

    I think it’s out the first week of February, Tommy.

  33. Cruddy Bang
    November 6th, 2007 @ 1:07 pm

    None of you will survive a week without it, my bf is irish and he loves making racist jokes about everyone including me and his irish friends are really backwards, “she looks foreign or something?” lolz, so stupid. One of them is from Rosscommon.

  34. Twenty Major
    November 6th, 2007 @ 1:09 pm

    Where are you from?

  35. WhiteTrash
    December 27th, 2007 @ 7:52 pm

    Oh FFS all of you stupid racist red-necks.
    You think its SOOO annoying not being allowed to be un-fairly cruel to other races?
    Get the fuck over yourselves. We ARE equal whats the point of saying we aren’t?
    Just because I am white doesn’t mean that I am better than a black person we are exactly the same. Ok so our personality will be different but thats it.
    Tell me PLEASE what is so different to a white person and a black person other than their skin colour which means absoloutly NOTHING.

  36. kev
    February 6th, 2008 @ 5:58 am

    out not romaina scum

  37. kev
    February 6th, 2008 @ 5:59 am

    out now romaina scum

  38. Twenty Major
    February 6th, 2008 @ 8:31 am

    Yeah, at least we Irish can spell.

    Mong. Go make some chips.

  39. chris wils
    April 18th, 2008 @ 3:06 pm

    I am disgusted with england Im nglish living in england and all around me is shit from outher countries. crime is up rapes are up. deport the whole lot of them wogs .pakies .plish cunts. ship them all out and on the last boat put all the english fucking do gooders who have allowed this to happen. its about time this problem

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