Fuck off with your mental health

I was strolling into town the other day when I passed a bus shelter with an advertisement on it. So far not much out of the ordinary. Many bus shelters have advertising. However, it was the ad itself that made me raise my then unbattered eyes.

Basically it’s an ad telling people to look after their mental health. It features a picture of a fairly mental looking bloke and underneath it says ‘Look after your mental health’ or something similar.

Then last night I saw an ad on the TV for exactly the same thing. Except instead of one mental looking bloke they had a whole cast of mental looking people prattling on about it. I have to say I’m confused by the whole thing. It’s certainly one thing to say ‘Look after yourself, don’t smoke’ or ‘Drinking too much is bad for your health’ but what will this advertising campaign achieve?

Are people going to be walking down the road thinking ‘You know what? I think I’ll go with a bit of that old schizophrenia today. Yep. That’s the stuff for me. Oh, look. There’s a mentalist on a bus shelter telling me not to be mental. Phew, that was just what I needed not to succumb to mental illness!’

And all these people who feature in the ads are, I suppose, meant to be normal people so we can relate to them and understand what they’re saying. Well, sorry to tell you this people in the ad, but if I see any of you on the street I’m crossing the road because you all look like complete fucking lunatics to me. Especially the bloke on the bus shelter. He looks like he’d slay you then eat you raw.

The fact is everyone is a little bit mental in their own way. In the same way that everyone is a little bit beautiful in their own way. Some people’s beauty is a reverse kind of beauty, known in medical circles as ‘ugliness’ and some people’s mentalness means they are known as ‘mentalists’. Mentalists, in the old days, were locked away and kept sedated but nowadays we think it’s ok to let these people roam the streets. That’s why there’s so much killing and raping and that kind of stuff.

Because let’s face it, you have to be mental to kill someone or rape someone. A normal person doesn’t do that. So, instead of trying to make mentalists accepted by normal society I think we should try and identify them as quickly as possible then build a super-asylum where we can keep them all and do tests on them to find out why they’re mental. I’d love to credit the HSE with the intelligence to do that. That this campaign is designed to draw out the secret nutcases so they can be branded or have a chip implanted in them but the HSE is too full of mentalists already to do that.

Depression? Just stop being so gloomy. Self-harm? Grow up. Anxiety? Have a drink of whiskey. Schizophrenia? Talk it over with yourself.

In the meantime keep our bus shelters free of mad looking bastards. Hallowe’en is over. We don’t want to be frightened anymore.

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66 Responses to Fuck off with your mental health

  1. Silly Old Sod says:

    They took over the asylums and then disbanded them Twenty. Sure an intelligent man like yerself should know that!

  2. Twenty Major says:

    Hmmm, sneaky mental bastards.

  3. nell says:

    The other side of the billboard probably had a 6ft bottle of deliciously refreshing Vodka on it.

    More commonly known as the alternative.

    We really are a very clever people, when you don’t think about it.

  4. Gomaith says:

    I knew here was something I had been forgetting to do. Is there any tablets you can take.

  5. Johnny5 says:

    I’m going fucking mental here myself. Not one sexy kid knocked on my door last night and me with a horn on me like a varnished cucumber.

  6. Twenty's Wriggly Chum says:

    Because let’s face it, you have to be mental to kill someone or rape someone. A normal person doesn’t do that.

    Does Lucky read your blog Twenty ? He might not be best pleased.

  7. Celia Larking says:

    Is that the guy from the Chieftains on the ad? Is he representative of the Irish Trad musician mentalists?

  8. gimmeaminute says:

    It’s all the eye contact from those bus shelter ads that freaks me out. Stop looking at me. Stop. I will gouge your fucking eyes out if you do not stop looking at me.

    Personally, I am without mental health issues.

  9. Ronan says:

    yeah it’s probably better to just let people keep committing suicide

  10. Celia Larking says:

    In a fucked up way, do these ads not remind people who are suffering from mental illness of their condition. Imagine if they had temporarily forgotten that they were mentally ill, having a great day – and then saw the ad – what a downer!

  11. Twenty Major says:

    yeah it’s probably better to just let people keep committing suicide

    Why should we try to stop them?

  12. Ronan says:

    that’s hilarious

  13. Twenty Major says:

    It’s not meant to be.

  14. Ronan says:

    oops x-post

    actually I thought the campaign was pretty good…I don’t know to what extent you’re being ironic or serious above. but plenty of people with mental illness never discuss it with anybody, especially in a place like Ireland.

    it’s perfectly possible to have mental health problems and not acknowledge it, it’s not some new age bullshit, it’s just a matter of talking to people and acknowledging “maybe I need some help with this”.

    anyway…I know this isn’t a one line zinging response but whatever

  15. Twenty Major says:

    it’s perfectly possible to have mental health problems and not acknowledge it, it’s not some new age bullshit, it’s just a matter of talking to people and acknowledging “maybe I need some help with this”.

    No question. They really could have done with getting a less mental looking bloke for the bus shelters though.

  16. Ronan says:

    I don’t get the bus. it’s full of fucking mentallers.

  17. Twenty Major says:

    heh

    The most mental bus in Ireland is the 18. I used to have to get that in my youth and it was always full of mental people.

    I remember being shocked one day when one mentaller pulled out a flick knife and set about his buddy. Except it wasn’t a flick knife, it was one of those combs that looked like a flick knife. He still tried to stab the head off him.

  18. This was supposed to be the future .... says:

    The weirdos at the start of that are smiling, like they know where your house is. they have really given me the heeby-jeebies.
    How the fuck do they find these weirdos?

    If your going to do something like that, at least try. The first step would be to NOT let some inbred degenerate probably-from-mayo fucktard who has never seen a camera in his life shoot the ad. The actual shots that have been used in the ad are appauling.

    At least there wasnt any red-heads in it.

  19. Ronan says:

    one time I was on the bus and one mentaller went around to about 6 or 7 people around him, paused, pursed his lips and said “you…..you have the face of an…….OWL!”, “you…..hmmm….you have the face of a MONKEY!” and so on for the entire journey.

  20. Twenty Major says:

    Only God’s special angels can see the face of nature so clearly in his fellow man.

  21. Fourth Former says:

    Ronan, you had better not be that useless adenoidal twat Keating or else I will track you down and rip out your vocal chords and you will be able to say it best because you will (be able to) say nothing at all.

    PS I am not a mental

  22. Puerile Pish says:

    Maybe you have found the HSEs strategy for mentalcases. Discharge them from hospital/asylum with a bus pass. This will contain all of the zoomers on the public transport system.The posters are merely signage for the insane to indicate the way onto the bus. Funnily enough back in the UK my girlfriend had a run in with a mentalist complaining loudly on a bus about dolphins being in the employ of the CIA and having lasers on their heads , she reckoned it was fairly disconcerting as he was clearly mad as cheese.

  23. EmptyHead says:

    Click on the following link for the perfect way to look after your mental health. The HSE should promote this one.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibOkCRHRtjk

  24. Using the same logic, if they’d put some bus shelter adds around Lockerbie before the disaster that said ‘Try not to get crushed by falling Boeings’, there would surely have been fewer deaths.

  25. This was supposed to be the future .... says:

    Or you could even push the envelope out there and put a “Dont leave your kids unattended” bus shelter advert in portugal…

  26. the global scientist says:

    Now i’m a card carrying mental health professional and after fifteen years in the job its kind of rubbed off on me…Thing is if you dont look after your own mental health then its left up to dogy fuckers like me to do it …its a downWard spiral…Next thing you’re the guy freaking the shit out of people at the bus stop…..Building new asylums though? thats only going to encourage a new wave of asylum seekers…

  27. Puerile Pish says:

    This is pure mentalism..police shoot someone dead and get found guilty of breach of health and safety..

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7069796.stm

    Fence off England and send your looneys there…..us Scots have been sending our mentalists to London for years

  28. porridge says:

    dogy fuckers?

    only people who are not nutjobs will think about their mental health. almost as stupid as putting “do not smoke” signs on cigarette packs – the only way you can read the sign is by buying the smokes, and at €7 and a bit yoyos a pop, fucked if you’re not smoking them.

    is all a marketinbg ploy by fata harni – the hse has just created 10,000 new places in purpose built shelters all around dublin.

  29. the global scientist says:

    10,000 purpose built shelters?

    …gonna rain then? …..shelter from what?…Pedant!

  30. 10 Park Drive says:

    You lot. Talk about “the kettle calling the frying pan blackarse”. Best examples I have ever seen. Also, wil the cunts who keep posting links to youtube videos fuck off and make your own. Hopefully of your own executions.

  31. Twenty Major says:

    Wouldn’t executing yourself be called suicide and not an execution?

    Or if they were being executed by somebody else it’s unlikely they’d then be able to make a YouTube video out of it due to the fatality of the execution.

  32. Puerile Pish says:

    Porridge..that proves nothing I think that is reasonable enough behaviour for Paisley. This is a bit weird though

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml

  33. 10 Park Drive says:

    All correct but it’s the thought that counts.

  34. fong says:

    I love the smell of bonfire comin off people today.

  35. 10 Park Drive says:

    Except that they could set the video up beforehand; or I could do it for them.

  36. Twenty Major says:

    Certainly they could film it but how would they edit and upload it?

  37. fong says:

    they could do a dry run and film, edit and upload that one

  38. porridge says:

    “I love the smell of bonfire comin off people today.”

    i love the smell of burnt idiots.

  39. 10 Park Drive says:

    Anyhoo, it’s my birthday so you can all fuck off.

  40. fong says:

    This si a shit day to have a birthday. Ghandi cursed this day for all time.

  41. Twenty Major says:

    Not that much of a curse unless he’s getting a Ghandi flavoured cake.

  42. porridge says:

    it’s your birthday and you can cry if you want to. does this mean you now become 11 park drive?

  43. 10 Park Drive says:

    It is a crappy day to have a birthday. The morning after All Hallows Eve for fucks say. Or, once when I was in Mexico on this day, it was lovingly refered to as the day of the dead. Dia de Muertos?

  44. 10 Park Drive says:

    Porridge . 11 ? They were only sold in packs of 5,10 or 20(apology to Major)

  45. Twenty Major says:

    Or, once when I was in Mexico on this day, it was lovingly refered to as the day of the dead. Dia de Muertos?

    Did you die on that day? I fail to see the problem.

  46. fong says:

    Yeah because it’s not your birthday is it?. How would you know?

  47. 10 Park Drive says:

    On that day I did not die. I was,however, cursed to read your scribble for eternity. Via con Diablo!

  48. 10 Park Drive says:

    Oh and thanks for that Fong.Old Cyclops can be a real twat

  49. fong says:

    He has mental health issues.

  50. 10 Park Drive says:

    “Im listening”

  51. 10 Park Drive says:

    Actually, I am off to celebrate/get pissed now. Adios !

  52. fong says:

    Good luck. I really mean it.

    watch it

  53. Conan Drumm says:

    I thought they were people with dental health issues.

    Twenty, I agree about the 18 route, I knew it well and always wondered about Larkfield Gardens because I never went that far.

  54. Yippee says:

    But isnt it true that if you think you’re mad, that means you’re not, and if you think you’re not mad, that means you definitely are?!!??

    So where does that leave me, cos I defo think I’m not mad…

  55. porridge says:

    leaves us thinking you aren’t mad either…

  56. fong says:

    Those ads are meant to be directed at sane immigrants.

  57. You should see where the whole take-care-of-your-mental-health train has gone out here in Lala Land. I know someone who no longer wants to listen to her elderly mother’s worries because it “brings me down artistically”, and thinking about other people’s problems just makes her feel so negative she refuses to do it. She doesn’t need to clutter her head with negativity, she claims. Right enough though, she has enough to handle anyway what with being an utter head-filled arse-hole.

  58. laughykate says:

    My favourite mental story. I was in Sydney, waiting at the station late at night when a guy walked through the punters yelling at the top of his voice, ‘God! The good Lord! The Queen! Jesus Christ! The messiah! Praise them, praise them, praise them.’

    A homeless old smelly guy was sitting beside me,he got up and shuffled off mumbling, ‘Thank god I’m crazy.’

  59. Loco Lobo says:

    Being mentally impaired never bothered anyone in the Moozlim world where everyone in the nut bin called the Middle East is a looney. They really think that they’re sane! But we know better! Hee hee hee!

  60. fatmammycat says:

    Tinder?
    Set, Captain.
    Conditions?
    Dry sir.

  61. Daniel says:

    Is it me or is just everybody on that ad speaking with a posh English accent? only the young guy has a Irish accent. That will making sorting out the mental persons from the rest pretty easy.
    On the other hand they probably couldn’t put some north dubs on the ad as it would be stereotypical.

  62. niamh says:

    you are all scumbags…..ignorant, bigotted idiots……….pull yer heads out of yer arse for just one second and smeel the real world!!!

    mental health issues are real and despite yer complete lack of brain cells…actually affects NORMAL people……im sure ye know of one NORMAL person who has killed themselves……… oh but i suppose yer too normal to associate yerslves with that kind of mentalistism……………grow the fuck up

  63. Twenty Major says:

    No normal person kills themselves. Only mentalists do.

  64. junkiefacejunkie says:

    mental health r tha biggest drug pushers on tha planet & just as corrupt as tha pigs. mental health will end up victims of terrorist attacks. have a read o’ all this piss weak shit. bunch o’ pussies, sluts & faggots.

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