Things you never grow out of

Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on October 31st, 2007

Your starter for ten…

  1. Picking scabs. Mmmm, bloody and crunchy.

As I’m suffering from a serious head trauma you cunts will have to think of the rest.

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36 comments

  1. georgiasam says:

    Not doing yesterday’s Crosaire crossword, getting today’s paper, memorizing the answers, bringing yesterday’s paper into the pub, and very ostentatiously completing the crossword in five minutes flat. Ha ha ha!

    October 31st, 2007 at 5:47 pm

  2. georgiasam says:

    Surprised you haven’t discussed the important news story about the three fraudster priests in today’s papers, and the company they started called Shag. Head trauma or not. Ha ha ha ha!

    October 31st, 2007 at 5:48 pm
    1

  3. Twenty Major says:

    I missed that entirely. Haven’t seen a paper all day.

    Love the Crossaire idea. Those clues generally make my brain hurt.

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:18 pm
    2

  4. Groucho says:

    2, Squeezing Zits - don’t you just like the colour?

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:19 pm
    3

  5. Sarah says:

    Breathing.

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:20 pm
    4

  6. Twenty's Wriggly Chum says:

    Other people’s blackheads. Search and destroy.

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:22 pm
    5

  7. galorepussy says:

    What you need is a good looking after. Stroking and the like.

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:31 pm
    6

  8. ELCC says:

    Calling people names… Ye freckly one-good-eyed gimp!

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:41 pm
    7

  9. Proud Englishman says:

    Slagging you boggies!

    Proud Englishman

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:42 pm
    8

  10. ELCC says:

    ….And feeling bad about it.. Ah, sorry.

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:48 pm
    9

  11. Twenty Major says:

    You know who are cunts?

    People who sign their name after their comment when their name is already above it.

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:49 pm
    10

  12. Sarah says:

    I was raped by an English man once-well my belly button was.

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:53 pm
    11

  13. galorepussy says:

    Are you afraid to go out for a pint now?

    October 31st, 2007 at 6:58 pm
    12

  14. Twenty's Wriggly Chum says:

    You know who are cunts?

    owls ?

    October 31st, 2007 at 7:00 pm
    13

  15. Twenty Major says:

    Are you afraid to go out for a pint now?

    No, I’ll go out later. It’s still too early.

    October 31st, 2007 at 7:01 pm
    14

  16. one man and his dog says:

    Great story about them priests, fair play they didn’t do things by half, and the stupid American bastards fell for it!

    October 31st, 2007 at 7:34 pm
    15

  17. Silly Old Sod says:

    If you pick your nose until it bleeds, wait a day, you then get the wonderful mixture of scab and snot…

    what?

    oh!

    October 31st, 2007 at 8:45 pm
    16

  18. John B says:

    Cracking one off.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A9mJYYs1zA

    October 31st, 2007 at 8:53 pm
    17

  19. peckerhead says:

    Checking out women’s breasts.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO2OFIXyWko

    November 1st, 2007 at 1:05 am
    18

  20. laughykate says:

    I am a new girl around here. I have to say I can handle most things. I can cope with ‘Picking scabs.’ I can cope with ‘Picking scabs. Mmmm.’ I can even cope with ‘Picking scabs. Mmmm, bloody.’ But ‘Picking scabs. Mmmm, bloody and crunchy.’ Pass the rubbish bin, I’m going to have to barf. I think that could be one of the only sentences in the English language that has the power to put me off food.

    November 1st, 2007 at 5:44 am
    19

  21. Twenty Major says:

    Stick around, laughykate. You’re sure to find more.

    November 1st, 2007 at 7:57 am
    20

  22. sheepworrier says:

    proudly sniffing ur own farts.

    November 1st, 2007 at 9:11 am
    21

  23. No Good Boyo says:

    The firm belief that eating one mint after smoking half a pack of B&H down the pub will somehow fool your unhinged wife.

    November 1st, 2007 at 9:40 am
    22

  24. shane says:

    the sweet sweet feeling of a super-fine shite that needs no cleaning up afterwards…quality

    November 1st, 2007 at 12:23 pm
    23

  25. Shebah says:

    laughykate “picking crabs” might be even more barfmaking

    November 1st, 2007 at 12:38 pm
    24

  26. frontal lobotomy says:

    Tayto cheese and onion crisps, all mashed up and crumbly in the bottom of the bag….mmmm Do they still make them ?

    November 1st, 2007 at 2:13 pm
    25

  27. frontal lobotomy says:

    oooh. Just thought of another. Proudly peeling off the sunburned skin from the occasional bit of summer Ireland gets.

    November 1st, 2007 at 2:14 pm
    26

  28. Cunja says:

    Picking the smegma off your knob after avoiding the shower for a few days. You know, down by that stringy bit at the front near your jap’s eye.

    November 1st, 2007 at 3:33 pm
    27

  29. Monkey Balls says:

    Promising to be “more gentle this time” prior to taking the “Tradesman’s Entrance”

    November 1st, 2007 at 3:57 pm
    28

  30. Twenty Major says:

    Would you not be afraid he’d give a box in the head after, Monkey Balls?

    November 1st, 2007 at 4:01 pm
    29

  31. Monkey Balls says:

    Nah, he’s usually just a crumpled squeeling mess by then.

    November 1st, 2007 at 4:04 pm
    30

  32. Twenty Major says:

    heh

    November 1st, 2007 at 4:06 pm
    31

  33. problemchildbride says:

    There is a bar near the Wisconsin-Minnesota border called Scabs. The sign outside reads “Thank-you for picking Scabs.” ‘Strue an’all. Popular with boaters.

    November 1st, 2007 at 5:49 pm
    32

  34. Twenty Major says:

    That’s brilliant.

    November 1st, 2007 at 5:57 pm
    33

  35. problemchildbride says:

    There’s a Polish bar/deli in Nordeast Minneapolis called Mayslack’s. Their sign says “Nobody Beats Mayslack’s Meat.”

    November 1st, 2007 at 7:00 pm
    34

  36. Nobbly Nora says:

    Licking the lid offa yougurt before throwing it in the bin and atin’ the yougurt……..hmmmmmm yougurt…….:) oh and saying ‘good mornin’ Mr Magpie and whistling if ye see a solitary magpie (that’s to break the bad luck ye see)

    November 4th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
    35

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