36 Responses to Things you never grow out of

  1. georgiasam says:

    Not doing yesterday’s Crosaire crossword, getting today’s paper, memorizing the answers, bringing yesterday’s paper into the pub, and very ostentatiously completing the crossword in five minutes flat. Ha ha ha!

  2. georgiasam says:

    Surprised you haven’t discussed the important news story about the three fraudster priests in today’s papers, and the company they started called Shag. Head trauma or not. Ha ha ha ha!

  3. Twenty Major says:

    I missed that entirely. Haven’t seen a paper all day.

    Love the Crossaire idea. Those clues generally make my brain hurt.

  4. Groucho says:

    2, Squeezing Zits – don’t you just like the colour?

  5. Sarah says:

    Breathing.

  6. Twenty's Wriggly Chum says:

    Other people’s blackheads. Search and destroy.

  7. galorepussy says:

    What you need is a good looking after. Stroking and the like.

  8. ELCC says:

    Calling people names… Ye freckly one-good-eyed gimp!

  9. Proud Englishman says:

    Slagging you boggies!

    Proud Englishman

  10. ELCC says:

    ….And feeling bad about it.. Ah, sorry.

  11. Twenty Major says:

    You know who are cunts?

    People who sign their name after their comment when their name is already above it.

  12. Sarah says:

    I was raped by an English man once-well my belly button was.

  13. galorepussy says:

    Are you afraid to go out for a pint now?

  14. Twenty's Wriggly Chum says:

    You know who are cunts?

    owls ?

  15. Twenty Major says:

    Are you afraid to go out for a pint now?

    No, I’ll go out later. It’s still too early.

  16. one man and his dog says:

    Great story about them priests, fair play they didn’t do things by half, and the stupid American bastards fell for it!

  17. Silly Old Sod says:

    If you pick your nose until it bleeds, wait a day, you then get the wonderful mixture of scab and snot…

    what?

    oh!

  18. laughykate says:

    I am a new girl around here. I have to say I can handle most things. I can cope with ‘Picking scabs.’ I can cope with ‘Picking scabs. Mmmm.’ I can even cope with ‘Picking scabs. Mmmm, bloody.’ But ‘Picking scabs. Mmmm, bloody and crunchy.’ Pass the rubbish bin, I’m going to have to barf. I think that could be one of the only sentences in the English language that has the power to put me off food.

  19. Twenty Major says:

    Stick around, laughykate. You’re sure to find more.

  20. sheepworrier says:

    proudly sniffing ur own farts.

  21. No Good Boyo says:

    The firm belief that eating one mint after smoking half a pack of B&H down the pub will somehow fool your unhinged wife.

  22. shane says:

    the sweet sweet feeling of a super-fine shite that needs no cleaning up afterwards…quality

  23. Shebah says:

    laughykate “picking crabs” might be even more barfmaking

  24. frontal lobotomy says:

    Tayto cheese and onion crisps, all mashed up and crumbly in the bottom of the bag….mmmm Do they still make them ?

  25. frontal lobotomy says:

    oooh. Just thought of another. Proudly peeling off the sunburned skin from the occasional bit of summer Ireland gets.

  26. Cunja says:

    Picking the smegma off your knob after avoiding the shower for a few days. You know, down by that stringy bit at the front near your jap’s eye.

  27. Monkey Balls says:

    Promising to be “more gentle this time” prior to taking the “Tradesman’s Entrance”

  28. Twenty Major says:

    Would you not be afraid he’d give a box in the head after, Monkey Balls?

  29. Monkey Balls says:

    Nah, he’s usually just a crumpled squeeling mess by then.

  30. There is a bar near the Wisconsin-Minnesota border called Scabs. The sign outside reads “Thank-you for picking Scabs.” ‘Strue an’all. Popular with boaters.

  31. Twenty Major says:

    That’s brilliant.

  32. There’s a Polish bar/deli in Nordeast Minneapolis called Mayslack’s. Their sign says “Nobody Beats Mayslack’s Meat.”

  33. Nobbly Nora says:

    Licking the lid offa yougurt before throwing it in the bin and atin’ the yougurt……..hmmmmmm yougurt…….:) oh and saying ‘good mornin’ Mr Magpie and whistling if ye see a solitary magpie (that’s to break the bad luck ye see)

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