Don’t want to

Ever have one of those days where you just don’t want to?

Got up this morning. Wanted coffee but did not want to make it.

Got to put the finishing touches to the second draft of the book (it’s nearly finished Ed, I promise!). But don’t want to.

Need a poo but just don’t want to.

Everything seems like way too much effort. I think it has to do with having to get up for a slash at around 6am and then not being able to get back to sleep again. I hate when that happens.

No amount of twisting and turning and bashing of pillows (I said bashing) makes the slightest bit of difference.

Despite it all though you just have to, don’t you? Especially the poo bit. I can not want to all I like but when you’re prairie dogging you do not have much choice.

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31 Responses to Don’t want to

  1. Whiskeyintheditch says:

    “Need a poo but just don’t want to”.

    Don’t bother your arse then

  2. Can I suggest that you do the poo…some things just can’t wait.

  3. Twenty Major says:

    Don’t bother your arse then

    hah.

    It is done.

  4. maggot says:

    Sing Agadoo for a while – it will cheer you up.

  5. Lewis Hamilton says:

    you could watch me fail at the final hurdle if that’d cheer you up? I actually lapped myself yesterday – but not in a dirty way

  6. Friends_Like_These says:

    40 winks after lunch will set you back up.

  7. kev says:

    watch the rugby world cup final complete with the “heroes” crying after the match ,followed by a double jameson washed down by 8 pints of your favourite beer, should put you right as the mail joxer.

  8. MacDara says:

    I didn’t want to go to work thismorning but I had too. Then I wanted coffe but Like you I did not want to make it so instead I got by secretary to make it for me. Lazy Bastard I hear you say but why back if you own a dog.

    I woke up this morning and my eye ball is all red so wither I gouged myself during the night or my wife did it. I will try to post a picture later.

  9. sheepworrier says:

    I didn’t want to leave a comment

  10. Celia Larking says:

    Am with you on the early morning whizz call. It’s a bastard to try to get back to sleep for that one precious hour afterwards. Saw my doctor about same and he suggested that I drink more during the day than I do in the evening. Hence my third glass of wine so far today

  11. Johnny5 says:

    Stop plugging your book you absolute bastard.

  12. fong says:

    Will you be going on the Late Late show to plug the book?
    What are you planning, a Christmas release for the grannies stockins?

  13. qw says:

    ur a cock

  14. Lewis Hamilton says:

    hey, that’s my number plate thief!

  15. G.G Allin says:

    Needing to take a piss in the middle of the night is such a wreck the head. It happened to me last night as well.

  16. Johnny5 says:

    ur a cock

    no im nt u r

  17. You know Twenty – if you had a Goblin(teasmade) you’d be all sorted, wake up – coffee’s crawling distance, & an alarm like the QE2.

    I don’t know how you handle that drinking caper at your age, fuck me – & all the stupid idiots you have to put up with in the pub, mn mn grn grn…

  18. Pat Kenny says:

    After what has been said on this site about me, I wouldn’t let the fucker anywhere near my studio. Anyway I am a serious broadcaster dealing with important social issues, not some pissant author. He can fuck off to that weasel faced shithead Tubridy

  19. Loco Lobo says:

    You can put as much of everything off as you want but the arse will not be denied. The ass hole rules.

  20. Which chraity shop will i be able to get the book, or will it be in all of them..Ill buy it from the said shops if you mention me and Berni Nolan in it. If not then you are a complete humpty backed devil of a jealous cows cunt of an eeject. and you can stick your book up Ceila Larking’s cunt..where i might read it after reading Katy Frenchs autobiography.. or when im dead and gone..i would say your book would be compulsory reading in HELL. Start the war i say now..

  21. Paulo says:

    Coffee on the crapper with whatever rag is mourning the loss of someother thieving builder,developer, solicitor thats gone to the wall after over borrowing to try & fleece more poor suckers with inadequite paperthin excuses for housing is a great way to start your day. It gives you a warm feeling inside to see the worm turning.

  22. To poo or not to poo, there is no question.

  23. Have you ever ‘held it in’ so much that those small internal explosions go off? And eventually, after say 3 hours or so, you begin to get ‘blurry eyed’???

  24. b says:

    Off the dope mate. You’ll get your full vigour back.

  25. samantha maguire says:

    As Mr. Maguire says: Once you’re touching cloth, it’s time to go. Hope yesterday’s rant (which needed no response) doesn’t mean that you’re contemplating taking up where Blogorrah left off. You even roused Emma Jane for jaysus sake.

  26. arthur says:

    Iv’e just won sevnteen thousand euroes on the Spanish Lottery, I want advice on how to invest it in Nigerian Gas and Oil, Iv’e been told it’s a most progresive economy, Iv’e also been told to invest in a company called Mud Hut Foundations and Walpaper Paste INC, Nigeria,.
    Advice please, advise please, THANKS.

  27. Cruddy Bang says:

    lolz arthur, hahaha.

    I love reading your stupid blog, twenty major, I think you should post more often as I have nothing to do but read it.

  28. johnny rotten says:

    arthur /iam starting a brothel would you like to invest in it free shags with said investment

  29. “Prarie Dogging” OMG I think I am going to pee my pants! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

  30. O'Reilly says:

    Reminds me of that line in the ‘Young Ones’ when the TV license man calls and Vyvyan has eaten the telly.

    “It’s ok guys, I always pooh before I get up”

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