I don’t know what’s going on at the moment but every single morning this week I’ve woken up with a song in my head. As I lie there dozing, trying convince myself I’m not actually bursting for a piss, there’s a song going around and around in my head.
This morning it was ‘Dirrty’ by Christina Aguilera. What the fuck is that about?
Other smash hits this week have included ‘Make me smile’ by Chicago (right out of left field that one, I mean I haven’t heard that for years), two lines of a song by Jellyfish repeated over and over again and most irritating of all ‘Drop the pressure’ by Mylo. That is not a song to have in your head first thing in the morning, it really isn’t.
This is a relatively new phenomenon too. What’s causing it? What part of my early morning mind is trawling through the musical archives of brain?
Does this happen to you? I am perplexed.
You’re too fucking happy and “in your cups”… get yourself an owl alarm clock.
Funny, this morning I woke up singing “Imagination” By Beloui Some, and I had the video flickering through my mind too. Despite the erection I fell out of bed.
What a way to start the day.
Owls are cunts.
I am not sure are you asking what the actual song is about or what does it mean to wake up thinking about Christina Aguilera or are you asking why you are hearing songs in your head.
If it is the First I think the song is about strange sexual desires or the fact her boyfriend does not wash.
If it is the Second then maybe you are having strange sexual fantasies about Chris somewhat like Maggots Britney dreams.
If it is about the music in your head it depends on whether its your voice singing or the original singer.
If its the original songer then simply reach over and turn off the alarm which is most likely set to radio. If its your voice your obviously going mad so dont worry it will all end soon and the end will proabably even make the news.
right out of left field
Hmmm – it’s worse than I thought – he’s becoming American.
Try humming Agadoo as you fall asleep – that should get rid of Agulera
did you wake up singing one of my hits twenty? I’ve had several you know, and you know like, I wake up most mornings with a crusty rim around me gash but apart from that I have creative bits of songs being formed in me head I do. Maybe we should wake up together and have a few hits, and you can paddle away inside me too if yer fancy?
strange sexual fantasies about Chris somewhat like Maggots Britney dreams.
How dare you – my love for Britney is pure as the driven snow.
aw c’mon twenty, you know its the best offer your gonna get all day, I’ll let you paddle with an oar if you want
I hate that. Last Friday Have I got News for You had that little twerp from East 17 in the odd one out round and ever since I can’t get that crappy song when they wore the snow suits in the video out of my head.
I used to find myself humming that “I’m a big, big, girl in a big, big world” song first thing in the morning. This troubled me greatly as I am neither a girl, nor overly big.
Twenty. What’s worse than waking up with an annoying tune in your head?
Some cunt putting it there. I now have ‘Dirrty’ ringing about my ears and can’t help but hum it even though I find it incredibly irritating…
It’s a relatively commonplace and fascinating problem that I’ve never heard a good explanation for and I have a psychology degree. Well observed Twenty.
Anyone think of something less annoying that I might try to replace it with?
now i have that poxy agadoo song in my head. maggots are cunts.
“I wll always love you” by Witny from the bodyguard?
Just for you porridge
Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree,
Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee,
To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees,
Come and dance every night, sing with the hula melody.
maggot, you are too kind. bosch drill, hammer action, large bit and insert in right ear. think i’ll have to listen to nine inch nails for the rest of the day. more or less the same effect.
You’re obviously picking up radio signals in your unconscious state, Twenty. You’ll need to find some way to thwart the reception if you want to be free of that Aguilera harlot. A tinfoil hat would be ideal but also impractical considering your supine sleeping position. So as an alternative measure, I suggest you remove all the wire coat hangers from your wardrobe and replace them with wooden ones. Trust me on this, I read it in a scientology pamphlet.
i just wake up with a massive erection i call it my alarm horn
Gouge out your ear drums.
Maggot I realise that driven snow is exactly the colour of your britney dreams
What I hate more than waking up with a song in my head is waking up with a tiny snippet of a song in my head looping, like two random lines from the middle going round and round and round.
When this happens I try and get it out of my head by imagining the old theme to “Grange Hill”
who is your dreamboat MacDara – let me guess – Peter André ?
MacDara is an owl.
God damn it…*
* goes off to kill something, perhaps self, rather than hear Dirty in head.
This is perfectly normal. It happens to me all the time. In fact it’s happening now. But after years of research I’ve figured out the one and only solution. Of course this solution is a very well kept secret by the Russian government, protected by KGB finest, but the workaround has been posted somewhere on a Usenet message trail of UNIX Administrators who were forced to use NT domain controllers and cross-posted to alt.transsexual, alt.iamawhore, alt.ineedtokillmyselfnow. This is the message.
“before the actual singing starts, you can hear the beats. These are not REAL beats. This is what the scientists call the contracting of the vital parts of a neo-cortex. We drunks say hangover. Quickly crawl as fast you can to the nearest part of the bed and withdraw the cap from your vodka bottle. Take a sip, keep sipping until the beat slowly goes away. Continue to pass out. For proper taking care of the singing problem, place 8 bottles of vodka in all wind directions of your sleeping area (floor, toilet, bed, elevator) to decrease workload.”
I think this is the best solution. Don’t use bacardi instead of vodka! It will not only increase the volume of the playing song, it will instantly overload your current playlist into the continuous repeated “Gay Top 1000 of all times” (Village People, BareForce1, … WHAM … and regular madonna remixes like material girl).
Hope this helps,
Lindsay Lohan
The bit about pretending not to be bursting for a piss I can definitely relate to, the music, alas not.
That is all.
You could stop listening to 2fm, that might help.
Is there perchance a Juke box at Ron’s place ?
I had the unfortunate experience once of waking up in the middle of the night to the sight of a young man in a Dunnes Stores jumper standing at the end of my bed. Naturally, I leapt to my defence and chased him out of the house.. What I only realised shortly afterwards, was that I was sporting a generous erection as I made chase. I must also add that I had chosed to sleep nude that evening, due to the close weather we had been having.. I will swear to you that I woke with this erotic monstrosity bursting from my body, but there is always a lingering doubt that my member may well have ‘responded’ to the impending burgalry and the tight Dunnes jumper…
so you like being burgled then fnarr fnarr
For months I had the one line “tragedy!” in my head, before I went to bed, when I got up. The beegees were ruining my life and I thought, what if it never goes away? Now I tend to have that line the black fella says at the end of gladiator, in my head more often than not. “We’ll see you again my friend, but not yet, not yet”.
Songs getting stuck in your head is a sign of being too stupid to come up with an original thought yourself.
I call it my Astral radio, it just picks up whatever is in the ether. Just go with it. Don’t fight it, feel it.
Obviously some unusual vibrating resonance is being set up in the membranes of your full bladder – like an echo chamber, a biological record of songs half-remembered that you first hear while peeing. Or maybe the songs were piss.
This vibration is traveling up the highways and byways of your tubes and pipes and what not, and being picked up by your fillings, of a therebyness allowing you to hear it. The problem’s in your bladder not your head. Try shunting the vibrations through the pancreas for a more calypso beat. Or chopping off your bladder. Or muffling your fillings with chewing gum. Or murdering Christina Aguilera.
For me, for years, it was the Shake ‘n’ Vac advert although hardly ever in the morning.
Maggot right now its you but normally I like to dream about other owls especially the white one from the movies.
The choice of song is not really relavent,. this is happening cos you are looking froward to something or anticipating something, or your happy and dont know it, or your lonely¡ Keep smiling xxx
ok I know you’re hearing singing but is anyone else hearing the underlying voices…? They….tell me things….
Have the fillings replaced in your teeth (providing they’re not dentures of course)and the problem should be resolved.
“Crazy Horses” by the Osmonds. Before my eyes had snapped open I shit myself twice…
So, you don’t like waking up in the morning thinking “Motherfuckers are gonna drop the pressure, motherfuckers are gonna drop the pressure” then? Hrm, that describes my job fairly well, the pressure usually being dropped on me.
Think you are turning into a girl – too much day time tv in between writing I guess
what happen to the nolans
”….and why did the last girlfriend cut her stick ? ”
”Well rumour had it he was ‘too clean’ if you know what I mean ”
”I know what you mean, say no more! ”
”The carbolic soap fetish his greatgrandfather suffered from is a cruel legacy ”
”Poor divil ”
You know you could be having a supernatural experience, Twenty. I thought I was having a supernatural experience when every day for about a fotnight when I turned on my fax machine I heard Bob Maumill(Perth talk show host – uhhhhh) being channelled through it’s little speaker.
I listened at first – painful as it was, because I thought there may have been some deep and meaningful reason for it, but silly old me – I just used the wrong cord & it was picking up the radio waves from next door where the old granny lived.
So maybe the magnet in your ethmoid bone is picking up your next door neighbour’s radio?!
Not sure next door are the kind to listen to Christina Aguilera.