…it would be a button which would explode people who ring up radio stations and whose opinions I disagree with.
There’d be a lot of fucking exploding, let me tell you.
…it would be a button which would explode people who ring up radio stations and whose opinions I disagree with.
There’d be a lot of fucking exploding, let me tell you.
why a button?
sheepworrier – are you suggesting a touchscreen?
people who ring up radio stations deserve everything they get!
“No Adrian Adrian these fordinurs are comin in and taken all de gud jobs,”
Fuck off you cunt!
do you ever disagree with yourself?
have seen fat bastards who wear shirts so tight they could kill people across the street with one deep breath. an exploding button would only take your finger off, which would make texting difficult, fair enough, but leave too many other fingers for dialling. exploding phones, that’s what you want. nice shaped charge in the earpiece, especially for those pretentious cunts who wander around with lieutenant uhoor bluetooth things stuck to the side of their heads.
You would invent a button that did all that? So the button would have some kinda AI going on to decide what a stupid caller was and if to blow them up. Then the button would go crazy like SKYNET in the Terminator movies and start killing innocent people and it would asexually reproduce like the Dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Then we’d all be controlled by buttons and it would be your fault.
Send me a pile of buttons to use on all these rugby crazy cunts making my life a misery today. Don’t know who are worse, poms or bokke, drown ‘m in the Seine!
Did someone in particular piss you off today?
I normally flick on radio when making coffee/breakfast – but I keep having to turn it off because the people are so fucking stupid they make me cross and it’s too early in the morning to get cross.
One guy the other morning rings up and says “I need some help. It’s my wife’s birthday. She has everything. Jewelery, handbags, shoes. I want to get her something different. What can your listeners suggest”.
First cunt who rings in says “You know, there’s this company that will name a star after your wife…”
Fuck me, stupid bastards. Stars already have names and that’s the most clichéd idea of all time.
all radio stations in the morning are shit not normal
shit the bad shit you get when your sick ;;
my fanny is dripping for you twenty
How about inventing the gyrator alarm clock? Clip it on to the old todger at night, set the time, settle in for a good nights sleep and wake up with a smile? Niiiiice.
‘It’s my wife’s birthday. She has everything. Jewelery, handbags, shoes. I want to get her something different. What can your listeners suggest”.
A new husband you sad, pathetic, no-life cunt
Ah sure I think it’s so cute he rang up, shows he’s nicely under the thumb, the way every man should be.
That’s a typical fiminest statement there cruddy bang bang you shat muncher
Haha, you mean feminist but you really mean sexist, stupid turd, go look at a pair of boobs!
Now you have done it Twenty – tomorrow morning you’ll wake up with “When you wish upon a star” by Jiminey Cricket running through your hangover!
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
At least you can turn the radio off. THREE people had me cornered on the way home on the luas, talking loud personal shit.. “but why do you do this to me?”.. NO, NO, NO, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE? I’m psychotic. Also want to kick the bollix off that guy you heard on the radio.. and his wife. And set fire to their SUV.
Where’s the fucking corkscrew….
If you do invent such a button, you’ll no doubt win the Noballs piece prize.
all this would be unneccesarif they would release my apantent on stink-O-vision or Radio Stench and nnew and improved Aroma Airwave . Press my belly Button and away it goes.
20..please dont get “cross”
I once rode berni nolan of the nolans in Blackpool…what bout that then…
That’s the trouble with free speech…………..
Why stop at the call-in cretins? There’s plenty of drivers out there who could merit the nuclear option, too.
And co-workers.
And telephone companies.
And politicians. Although, that’s so easy a target that I’d let them live just until they say or do something stupid; just to make it sport. It would be fun to watch them try to be good.
Oh…and blog commenters.
Curly Watts in Coronation Street once had a star named after his then wife.
Raquel wolstenhume Watts, it was called.
Ahh, romance. You cant beat it!
An Irishman after my own heart. I was perusing your site – nice. I finally found someone in your country who thinks like I do (I’m in California). Visited Ireland in April 2006 and loved it (had a play reading in Belfast).
Anyway after reading a few of your posts, I thought, ‘this guy sounds like me’. Read this:
http://jeffircink.blogspot.com/2007/10/origami-no-5.html
Jeff in America. I added you to my blog. If you want I’d appreciate the same in return. ONLY if you want.
I’m just home from the bar and I reckon what mankind needs is an alcohol buffer tablet. Something to keep the perfect buzz. Something that takes you to the sweet spot adn not any further. Something charcoaly that absorbs exactly the amount that propels you from squiffy to slaughtered in 4.3 seconds. ‘Cos there is a critical value below which you are merely merry adn beyond which you are a blethering, blithering blotto-woman who can spell “and” right only on occasion.
All sorts of problems could be avoided with such a tablet.
Its a shame there isn’t the equivalent to the Atlantic for blogs
just turn off the radio