Translation

“In order to send out a clear message to all members of society that litter pollution can simply not be tolerated, I have increased the on-the-spot fine” – John Gormley, Minister for the Environment

“I have been told that we need to increase the amount of income from litter fines and I have been advised that increasing the on-the-spot fine will not act as any kind of deterrent. Therefore a few extra quid after a crackdown by whoever the fuck it is that actually enforces these things. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone who has been fined for littering. Perhaps that’s because the sort of people I associate with wouldn’t litter although through extended families and such there’s bound to be one or two bad apples. Anyway, I’m straying off the point which is basically that I’ve just had a load of holidays and what have you and now I have to be seen to be doing something so this is it. Not controversial, not designed to do very much but it sounds nice when I take the hard line with the menace to our society that is … litter” – John Gormley, Minister for Cabbages

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37 Responses to “Translation”

  • Groucho Says:

    As a postcript to John Gormlely Minister of Cabbages Further more it is far easier to update the fines for litter and Chewing gum than it is tosavce the the Tara/Skryne Valley for at my age that it would only produce a migraine.

  • pulling a sicky Says:

    Come to think of it,Ive never heard of anyone getting a fine for littering either.

  • Conan Drumm Says:

    Poor JG, whipped in to vote confidence in Bertle like a sad eco-beagle puppy, so he lashes back at the hateful litterers…

  • Sid Trotter Says:

    you have a minister of cabbages?

  • Macdara Says:

    twenty your as cynical as a priest in a brothel being offered a Virgin altar boy.

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    I wonder if they will fine Bertie for all the empty brown envelopes he has discarded? ..the crooked cunt.

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    Sorry for last comment Twenty..correction : “Allegedly crooked cunt”

  • Johnny5 Says:

    I saw Mary Harney eating Lunch in the Whitehorse Inn and all you can do is talk about John cunting Gormley?

    Afterall those blow jobs I expected more, Twenty, I really did.

  • Twenty Major Says:

    “The White Horse Inn is a sophisticated modern bar by the River Liffey.”

    You complete fucking ponce.

  • Johnny5 Says:

    The White Horse Inn is alos an early house that attracts some of Dublin’s finest degenerates.

    I’m suprised you’ve never heard of it.

  • John Gormley Says:

    I AM NOT A MINISTER FOR CABBAGES YE LITTLE GOBSHITE

  • Twenty Major Says:

    I never go further than the Wind Jammer or Ned’s.

  • Johnny5 Says:

    Maybe you should, you old cunt.

  • 10 Park Drive Says:

    Nothing to do with todays subject matter but :- Drunk driving.There are no repeat offenders in El Salvador

  • Ibanez Says:

    I hate people who litter. Especially who throw fagbutts out the car when they drive. Id like like to shoot them in the head. That’ll learn em good. Then fine them.

  • Twenty Major Says:

    Dublin suffers from a lack of bins.

  • Dr Maroon Says:

    What point are you making Major? Speak plain for the love of Mike.

  • 10 Park Drive Says:

    My point was it’s the firing squad for a first offence. Maybe that could be applied to litterbugs ?

  • Johnny5 Says:

    I’m going to make it my business to throw more fag butts out of car windows from now on.`

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    Yeah, where the fuck else am I supposed to throw them, in fact I will throw flaming bundles of oil soaked rags out of the window if it pisses enough people off.

    As for the lack of bins, you want to try finding one in fucking London, after the terrorism in the eighties they removed them all. I imagine terrorists often discuss the lack of bins when planning their next outrage.

  • Conan Drumm Says:

    “Dublin suffers from a lack of bins”… Jayz, Twenty, of course it does, people would put their rubbish in them for free!

  • johnny rotten Says:

    why should i have rubbish in my nice car that’s why we have car windows fuck them

  • Maggot Says:

    I’d litter Kerry Katona!

  • Conan Drumm Says:

    Maggot, Kerry’s had a litter for Bryan already.

  • Ibanez Says:

    yere all big talk now. Wait til the shootin in the head starts. You wont be so mouthy then.

  • johnny rotten Says:

    ibanez ;you cant shoot your load right let alone a gun

  • problemchildbride Says:

    Well, I think there should be even more litter. All around the place.

  • Johnny5 Says:

    This Johnny Rotten geebag is sullying the good name Johnny all over the internet with his primary school insulting.

  • Johnny Mars Says:

    Shut up Johnny5. I’ve played with Morrissey and you’re just a bum sex merchant.

  • bender'sbetterbrother Says:

    Nothing to do with this post, that link’s gone dead for the book.

  • jonesy Says:

    Dublin is short on bins.

    Was someone above surprised to see Mary Harney eating? …..Clearly you’ve missed something if you’re surprised by that. The White Horse is around the corner from some of the ugliest buildings in Dublin which house the HSE.

    I’d agree with Twenty, I tend to start at the Ferryman, move to the Windjammer and never make it past Neds without falling over. Some spot!

    Haven’t sampled the Padraig Pearse but there’s a collection of walking garbage outside it on a daily basis.

  • porridge Says:

    don’t think that fondling morrissey is anything to brag about.

    the government are also tackling the litter problem by doubling, over the last decade or so, the number of homeless living off the crap we leave on the streets. gormless should be happy with this – homeless people are biodegradable (and sometimes biodegraded) and definitely a renewable resource in our caring celtic tiger. the toxic fumes can be a bit of a problem though.

  • size ten Says:

    When I buy your bewk and it falls out from undetrneath my arm near the bridge as I throw myself into the river,who will be the cause of the litter, who will pay the fine?

  • little laddie Says:

    Why dont the council employ people with fireproof pockets in their coats to march up and down the streets of every city in Ireland allowing people to put their fag ends into their knee length pockets, for rubbish they can carry large sack on thier backs and for used comdoms they can be given four tabs of viagra a day and be allowed to walk round with their mickies out so people can put the used condoms on them instead of throwing them down the toilet where they end up on some surfers nose.

  • snookertony Says:

    Brilliant, little laddie, brilliant. Tourists would flock here to experience all Of that. Top of the class…

  • Yacuncha Says:

    What ever happened to Gormley’s proposed tax on lightbulbs to cut down electricity use? Here in Sligo we were just getting ready to fire up the old propane lights. Doing our part to save the world.

  • little laddie Says:

    snookertony, ive just been freed from the local barracks for writing the same suggesion to the chief of the guards..i think he wants to claim the idea as his and start his own company.

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