Euro Millions

Tonight’s jackpot is €130m.

Think of how many people you could get Lucky Luciano to kill for that money. He’s doing his ‘Three for €499′ special this week too.

Watch out Bananarama.

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33 Responses to Euro Millions

  1. stig says:

    three for €499. that works out well for me. i won €500 on the horses yesterday and the first three on my hitlist are;

    1. pat kenny
    2. ryan tubridy
    3. colm and jim jim (they’re considered one entity).

    and what luck for me, i even have a euro left over for a scratch card. this weekend is beginning to look good already.

  2. kev says:

    260521 small families you’re really pissed of with

  3. Twenty Major says:

    Colm and Jim Jim are two people so he’ll have to charge you the extra €50 for that.

    Kev – how specific.

  4. Fun Boy Three have now also gone into hiding, roumoured to be in seclusion with the Three Degrees and Indie band Three Days Grace.

  5. Maggot says:

    Can you ask him if a two-faced cunt counts as one choice or two Twenty ?

  6. Gomaith says:

    Be dead in six months if I won that.

  7. Conan Drumm says:

    Foster & Allen, and the accordion.

  8. Oilcan says:

    Can he shoot Ian Paisley three times?

  9. Johnny5 says:

    Mary Harney.

    She’ll probably cost a couple of grand even with Lucky’s deal but fuck it, I can spend the remaining millions on coke.

  10. Johnny5 says:

    And hookers.

  11. Maggot says:

    I’d buy Dave out, put in some poles – not that sort , for the dancers, and rename the place the Bada Bing.
    Prices would have to rise, but Dublin needs a classy joint.

  12. Puerile Pish says:

    The Marketing department at Perlico who are running their equivalent of the FCUK campaign..The Perlico Duck, where they come up with cuntish puns like:
    You must be quackers, Duck Eircomm, and Duck Me!

    Absolute fucking whorecunts!!!

  13. Johnny5 says:

    How many Tampons could we get Dave to ingest for €130Million at €50 a tampon?

    At a rough guess I’d say fucking loads.

  14. Puerile Pish says:

    And my fucking boss who is sending me to that soulless friggin hell hole Belgium again. Fucking dump of a country, I hope the fucking butter mountain has a volcanic eruption and lays waste to those mustachioed, chocolate munching, Mayo loving fuckers.

  15. Johnny5 says:

    Yeah but Peadophilia is legal in Belgium so…you knw…every coud

  16. Anne Doyle says:

    Eileen Dunne and that tart Miriam O’Callaghan. As I’ve already got a lifetime pass to Barry’s Hotel I could spend the remaining millions on foundation, botox and duracell ultra-life AA batteries. Did I mention I love sex?

  17. Johnny5 says:

    I’ll be in Barry’s tonight Anne, leave your batteries at home.

  18. Puerile Pish says:

    Johnny 5:
    I was going to say paedophiles but didn’t think I would get away with it….

    Congrats!

  19. johnny rotten says:

    i would still draw my dole if i won

  20. Maggot says:

    We’d tell on you johnny.

  21. soulless brute says:

    Buy them all, their all for sale!!

  22. Loco Lobo says:

    Why does he work so cheaply?

  23. Twenty Major says:

    It’s a competitive market.

  24. plus the hours are good!

  25. I hate all three-piece bands except them
    Dark childhood tales, accordions and everything.

  26. Peadar says:

    Justin Barret
    Fintan O’Toole
    Fintan O’Toole, again, to be sure.

    Do I get a say in the method of killing?

  27. Peadar says:

    Maggot – ‘I’d buy Dave out, put in some poles – not that sort , for the dancers, and rename the place the Bada Bing.’

    Do you mean Ron?

  28. sir winston churchill for three, or are they already dead.

  29. Maggot says:

    Oops – I did indeed mean Ron. That accordian thread has unsettled me.

  30. I’d do all you guys and gals in, which I’d say Lucky would do gratis, and just pocket the dosh!

  31. Mosh says:

    Will he do the Spice Girls for that price? Seeing as he’ll be helping humanity at the same time. Preferably *before* they record another ear-fucker of an album.

  32. feck the euro, i only use punts. you can get 20 bred fruit for 2 punts in certain areas of Brazil but the feckers at shannon wont let me pay for me ticket with gods own money.. didnt judas get paid with 30 pices of euro?

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